Domestic Fiscal Policy

[JunFanTX]

Hola gringos,
I wanted to see if we could get a thread going about your wife's/fiance's spending habits and what, if anything, you have done to promote a little fiscal responsibility in the household.

My wife is both good and bad about money.  On the positive side, since she comes from a poor family, she is conscious to try to shop for bargains for things like groceries. On the other hand, if she has money in her pocket or in a bank account, she doesn't have very good spending habits--as in, if there is money in the account, she usually will spend it in short order.  It's not like she buys junk, but most of the time they are things we need, but not things we need NOW. I think it is a fundamental difference between our two cultures.  My opinion is that Colombians live much more day-to-day than we do.  Saving for retirement, for instance, is almost a foreign concept to them.  Given the poverty of alot of them, they are just unable to think that far into the future when they have immediate needs staring them in the face (ie food, clothes for a family member, bills, etc).  There are two effects of this: 1)they have never saved much money before and therefore don't have much experience and 2) when they have money in their pocket, they tend to spend it.

As far as controlling the money goes, I have pretty good control over everything...I have a total of 3 accounts at my bank: 1)mine 2)one for her family in Colombia and 3)joint account (hers)...my paycheck gets deposited into a MY checking account.  I pay all the household bills out of this and any other day to day expenses.  We agreed when she came that we would give $200 per month to her family down in Colombia, with which I have no problem as long as we can afford it.  And I have been giving her money by transferring money into her checking account so she can have access to money when she needs it with her ATM.  The obvious solution to slow the spending is just to not put anymore money in her account.

You guys have any comments or ideas? Any of you guys put them on a strict allowance??

Later,
Mike

[Red Clay]

... in response to Domestic Fiscal Policy, posted by JunFanTX on Nov 29, 2001

My idea was same as yours, to open a joint account [also can be used as evidence of legit relationship] that only she would use. Seems much simpler and easier to keep track of if she and I have separate accounts, whether or not she is Latina.
  I'm paying all the domestic bills except she buys the groceries out of what she makes at her job. Whatever she sends to Peru is also out of what she makes. Whatever she has left over is to spend as she wants. She is saying that when she gets a better job she wants to help more with the bills, I guess I will let her do a little more.

  Like Patrick said about his wife, mine is much more likely to save rather than spend.

[JunFan]

... in response to Re: Domestic Fiscal Policy, posted by Red Clay on Nov 29, 2001

Right now, she does not work. That is a function of her not yet being able to speak very good English.  She is going to ESL classes everyday for 2 hours. I might see if she can start babysitting for a few hours for families here in the neighborhood.  It seems like every housewife with kids is dying to get 3-4 hours of freetime, so maybe my wife can do that while her english gets ramped up.

I have been thinking along the same lines as you.  I'll pay for all the household expenses, and she can use the money she makes to send to Colombia, buy phone cards, and for things she may want to buy for herself.

Thanks,
Mike

[TG]

... in response to Domestic Fiscal Policy, posted by JunFanTX on Nov 29, 2001

Looks like you have given this one a lot of thought. I'll offer a suggestion that worked well for me with a European girl I was married to.

We basically had multiple accounts like you - mine and a joint one. Note that we were both working and the paychecks were being deposited into the account that I had, then I made the "allocations". As you can imagine, she whined once in a while about me controlling "her" money. She was from a poor background and so had the tendency to spend money that crossed her palm rather quickly. The question I struggled with was like you - How to teach her financial reponsibility?

I decided to put her in charge of the household finances. Kind of a sink or swim situation! In setting this up, we sat down together and made a little budget for the essentials. House Payment, Utilities, Car Expense and Food were basically it. From there, we agreed that she would contribute a certain amount from her check every month to pay for things and I would then give her a fixed amount to cover the rest of out "budget". He contribution was pretty small, but I thought the symbolic nature of it was quite useful....

To be honest, I kinda expected her to blow the account in the first month and then I would bail her out. This wasn't what happened at all. She suddenly became very aware of what things really cost and did reasonably well with making the payments on time. The experience of writing checks every month was almost traumatic for her!! After the first round of payments, I noticed she began doing things like turning lights off when leaving the room. She also decided that paying for garbage pickup was too much at $38 a month. We started bagging it and dropping it in the dumpster at her work. This way, she had more money for long distance calls....

If you want to try this, you have to just have the patience to step back and let her make decisions. It is tough, believe me! You'll see the lights or phone turned off a time or two while she is learning about money, but the payoff is really worth it I think. You'll also possibly find that a vote of confidence like this might improve your relationship as well.

Anyway - hope this helps a bit.

[Jeff S]

... in response to A thought for you - Long, posted by TG on Nov 29, 2001

But, my wife had worked and lived on her own in her own country. After several other attempts at splitting up the responsibility, she now controls all the money, except that I make in a side business, and some pocket change I keep whan I deposit my paycheck. She saves better than I and has become quite frugal, even though I do quite well. She puts away our entire house payment and property taxes in an MMA at the beginning of every year, and just transfers it monthly to the mortgage bank. She's learned to love collecting interest and hate paying it. All our credit cards are at zero. She also asks me every tims she want's to spend anything on herself including clothes (At least those costing over about $50)
-- Jeff S.

[Patrick]

... in response to Domestic Fiscal Policy, posted by JunFanTX on Nov 29, 2001

Is she working?  Earning her own money would probably be good for her and good for your bottom line.

I'm not sure how old your wife is or if it really makes a difference, but my wife's 39 and had lived independently before we met.  I think that probably would make most people more financially responsible.  She's very frugal and is way more into saving than spending.

[DFWGuy]

... in response to Re: Domestic Fiscal Policy, posted by Patrick on Nov 29, 2001

I agree my wife is 33 and worked and functioned as the head of her household for many years. I also went the multiple account route with one difference. She shares the account with her family in Columbia and she is responsible for montioring how much money they take out and when they take it out.

She always has money in her account and I have to remind her that it is alright to spend money on her personal needs, even then she always asks first. I have told her many time it is not necessary but I gave up after the first 3 months of reminding her.

Now on the other hand my 16 year old step-daughter has a kids Visa card and whatever money she had was in an out like you know what.

I think the BIG difference is age and experience with money and responsability for money.

[JunFan]

... in response to Re: Domestic Fiscal Policy, posted by Patrick on Nov 29, 2001

Patrick,
I don't mean to imply she is materialistic by any means, because she is not.  I have to be vigilant about watching what we spend money on, or somehow it would get spent. She doesn't work yet. She has her I-551 stamp so she can work, but right now I'm wanting her to focus on going to her ESL classes at the community college. She is also a little on the young side, as in 24. It would seem obvious that an older Latina would have alot more financial moxy. In most areas, she is much more mature than her American sisters.  That's probably due to the fact she, her mother and two sisters have gone it alone (dad left em) so they've had more responsibility at an earlier age.  But in the area of personal finance, she lags her American counterparts badly.  

For those of you who will be bringing over brides, there is alot more to this thing than sippin a pina colada by the pool at the Santa Clara with a pretty Colombiana in a skimpy bikini.  They will rely on you to teach them many things you don't think twice about in your day to day lives.  I would try to list them, but I wouldn't be able to stop.

Driving is one that comes to mind! Ha!

later,
Mike

http://www.sparhard.com/colombia.htm

[The Vibe]

... in response to Domestic Fiscal Policy, posted by JunFanTX on Nov 29, 2001

She buys anything thing she wants out of her part-time job,
or full time job. If she can work.

Otherwise just give $200 a month, free and clear as she wants, until she works.