A thought for the day

[Sol]

Hi,

It has occured to me that an important question that men seeking foreign brides (or any bride for that matter) is "Has she seen my major flaws and have I seen hers?" If you can sincerely answer 'yes' and you're both committed to being married then good for both of you. In my case my fiance and I have exposed enough of our 'dark sides' and I'm delighted to take the whole package of who she is, what she aspires to, what her fears are - not because she's perfect - she's not and I'm not - but because she's perfect for me. We both have some lessons in life to learn and I sincerely believe that we're both going into our marriage with our eyes open, committed to helping each other to grow personally as well as in coupleship.

If you only see how perfect your beloved is or if she idolizes you and you're hiding those behaviors, fears and attitudes you hope she never sees then I worry that you might become disillusioned when the fantasy of the perfect Latin woman with no human failings rears its ugly head.

In my case the chemistry is very nice, our values align well, her integrity and attitude are delightful, she loves me to death AND I've seen enough of her, written enough to her, called her enough and, MOST IMPORTANTLY, I've asked enough probing questions and revealed myself enough that I'm willing to believe that I know her well enough and she knows me well enough for the two of us to take that big risk of marriage.

Just a thought for this Sunday evening.

Sol

[santo]

... in response to A thought for the day, posted by Sol on Oct 28, 2001

dfd

[Wayne]

... in response to A thought for the day, posted by Sol on Oct 28, 2001

I think the kid issue is really big.  If you don't want them, don't compromise not matter how amazing the lady is.  Kids shouldn't be thought of as a compromise to get the women. It's not fair to the child and they will feel this. I respect the decision to not date a lady with kids.  It's a personal choice.

[mike kennedy]

... in response to A thought for the day, posted by Sol on Oct 28, 2001

I have been looking a few weeks now. Im 26 years old and not a bad looking guy. I have lived in Spain and visited Costa Rica and Mexico. I have signed up with three services one was latin-internet, another one was my\ tica.com www.mytica.com, and another one was some mexican one. I speak fairly good Spanish but want a girl that is fluent in English. I found all the girls in colombia beautiful and friendly just like everybody says on the board, but very few spoke english. Even though I speak spanish, i still want a girl that speaks english because its easier for them to get a good job once here. and easier to communicate with them. I met a few 19 year olds in colombia who had basically sh it for brains, then I met a few 22-24 year olds that were nicwe and sweet but no english. Then I met a 22 year old bi-lingual secretary in Costa Rica , she was cute about an 8-8.5 but she had a 6 year old kid which most girls down there have kids, and I don't want any kids its to much of a headache but i quickly fell in love with her and was ready to head on the plane to visit her when i thought to myself the kid is a huge hamper. The board is right to some extent about ticas they do seem a little more stuck up then CVolombian women but overall there not bad but still not as nearly as hot as colombian women. Then I found a girl in mexico who was my age about a 8.7 to 9 on a scale of 1-10 about 5 4" 130 spoke english and works as a systems analyst. She can probably make 50k a year up here. All im saying is instead of finding some non-english speaking non-educated girl who can't get a job in the u.s. i would recommend finding one with some brains that can make you some money up here rather then have one that will spend all your money up here and I would not get a girl with kids they are a little harder getting in the U.S. and it adds more stress for you. I think Colombia is probably a good place much better then Costa Rica but Costa Rica you occasionally find some good girls but the majority are stuck up, but don't limit your choices to just one, and always keep your options open. This one in Mexico I think is the one, educated, speaks english and can make alot of money up here and were the same age.

Mike       a-7 jkn

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: A thought for the day, posted by mike kennedy on Oct 29, 2001

Mike,
You might want to consider Bogota.There are more educated women there and they tend to speak more english.You can even find professionals like doctors and dentists.My wife has a friend that is a dentist from Bogota.She is here working on getting her medical licence in the US and working as a dental assistant in the mean time.Downside she is 40's and not great looking.
There is nothing wrong with looking ahead to a wife being able to earn good money.For many of us here what we want is a more traditional wife and her abilty to earn money is not so important.

Pete

[Jeff S]

... in response to Re: A thought for the day, posted by mike kennedy on Oct 29, 2001

Just a thought, here. If a woman's earning potential and English ability is high on your list of needs from a bride, you might want to reconsider a foreign bride. I think the one universal fact about bringing in a foreign bride is that it's far more expensive than marrying a local. You also should be prepared for at least several years of her getting adjusted. I'm convinced, most of the difficulties are cultural differences rather that language problems. There are lots and lots of Latinas living in or educated in the US. In fact, Los Angeles county is 47% Hispanic and only 33% white. Best of luck in your search.
-- Jeff S.

[michsteve09]

... in response to Hi Mike, posted by Jeff S on Oct 29, 2001

Is it really much more expensive to bring in a foreign wife? The average US marriage is now around $18,000 US just for one night for her fairy tale. We all know that the fairy tale usually ends in divorce which costs another? Never mind the divorce is usually everything you own.

[Jeff S]

... in response to Re: Hi Mike, posted by michsteve09 on Oct 29, 2001

Good point. I guess I was talking about the whole experience. Do you want to marry someone for $18K but then send her out to make $40 or 50K per year, or bring over a foreign bride, marry her for $2K and support her for the rest of your life. I know which option I went for and never regretted it for a second. Actually, my wedding was free - her parents threw the bash at their home and were only out the food and booze for a dozen or so close friends. The honeymoon was on my nickle though.
-- Jeff

[MIKE KENNEDY]

... in response to A thought for the day, posted by Sol on Oct 28, 2001

hello

[MIKE KENNEDY]

... in response to A thought for the day, posted by Sol on Oct 28, 2001

hello