What about Mexico?

[Randy G]

I have been gone for a couple of weeks, and I see there has been a little discussion of other places and other methods of meeting Latina's.

I still have a hard time figuring out why more men don't try Mexico, and when I say Mexico I specifically mean interior Mexico. I think that most men on this forum have the stereotypes of Mexicans we have developed here in the USA from living among the Chicano culture. Most mainstream Mexicans have told me that they despise the Chicano culture, as it is not at all representative of the culture I have seen in Mexico. Hollywood also perpetuates the Chicano culture in Mexico myth in movies like 'The Mexican'.

The girls in central Mexico are simply breathtaking. They are very friendly sincere and very approachable, rich or poor. And they are easy to meet on your own. The family I lived with in Guadalajara told me of a region near there where they said the girls were the best looking in the world. The family has been all over the world, including Colombia, yet here they were telling me of a specific region close to where I was where the women were the best. It just so happens that my fiancee, Gloria is from this area, and believe me, they are the best I have seen in the USA, Nicaragua, Costa Rica or Mexico.

Anyway, I would encourage you not to write off Mexico in your search. It is a beautiful country with an overabundance of the specific type of women with the beauty, brains and values you claim to look for.

Viva Mexico!  Randy G

http://communities.msn.com/RandyGloria

[Tai]

... in response to What about Mexico?, posted by Randy G on Aug 24, 2001

Randy G,

My motivation in asking you about the differences that you referred to was for clarification, NOT to infer that you were a racist. It is a shame that the discussion had to "go there".

All I truly wanted was some clarification on some of the things that you have inferred over time about Mexican society. Reading your posts, I was beginning to feel like I am continuously "missing" something or maybe I just hadn't been "getting it".

Then, I check back to see if you had provided more perspective, and MAN...you're defending yourself of being racist? Huh?

As an African-American, let me tell you that it is a waste of time. If you know you're not a racist, then let it be, don't waste your time or breath trying to "prove or defend" to the contrary.

Unfortunately nowadays, many people of color throw the "racist" tag out as soon as a white person says something that they don't like, or often if they believe that the white person doesn't have the "right" to say it.

Granted there are some REAL, SERIOUS racists out there and people that say some FOUL and/or STUPID things, but to tag someone as racist simply because they have said something believed to be ignorant, in an attempt to then disregard any validity they may provide, is in itself ignorant.(I am not saying that YOU personally have said something ignorant, I am speaking in general here.)

There are many forms of ignorance, and MOST people regardless of color(myself included) are guilty of it at some level or another.

For clarification sake:

I regularly hear Mexican-Americans tossing around the derogatory term "Mayate/Mallate"(don't know which is the spelling) in referring to African-Americans...which is the equivalent of the "N" word, but since many African-Americans don't speak spanish it has gone unchecked for quite sometime. (More and more African-Americans are catching on now, so maybe there will be another "code word" created.) -For the record, I speak spanish quite well.

I have heard a few horror stories from other African-Americans in regards to their experiences in Mexico. AND I have had a couple of friends, Mexican-American females, advise me that African-American men aren't received well in Mexico, generally speaking.

Have I written off Mexico or condemned ALL Mexican-Americans as a result? NO, because either one would be IGNORANT. However, I am decided in doing a little more investigating on Mexico before I PERSONALLY go skipping down there.

So, when you refer to the "conservative" nature of Mexican culture, or talk about the difference between "Chicano and Mexican culture" it holds more meaning for me on different levels....culturally speaking.

Hopefully I have been clear, if not...I'm sure I'll read about it later.

.04 this time.

Tai

ps - To Raptor, marrying someone of another culture does not  "automatically" purge oneself of their own "issues" regarding said culture as a whole.

[KADAMS]

... in response to Re: One little question and...BAM!, posted by Tai on Aug 25, 2001

Ask around about racism, with the exception of the big cities, most folks don't care anymore. This is played out, most of the people are smart enough to realize that tagging someone a racist does not carry weight anymore, who cares?

Time to move on to some other reason to get upset.....

This song is over.

[Tai]

... in response to Same ol' cryin', posted by KADAMS on Aug 27, 2001

Kadams,

The subject title is an attention grabber, but the content can be interpreted various ways. Care to be a little more specific?

I hate to be a pain, but assuming is not a practice of mine.

Tai

[Randy G]

... in response to Re: One little question and...BAM!, posted by Tai on Aug 25, 2001

Tai:

I will take your advice and not defend myself against the derogatory comments of the over sensitive Juan. I re-read my original statement again, and there is nothing inflammatory there. Juan simply was looking for an argument. That is OK too, as it keeps the forum interesting.

Anyway, I concur with you about African American men in Mexico, at least through the experience of my friend at school in Guadalajara. He was harrased by the Police constantly for supposed minor traffic infractions. I don't know why he was harrased so much, but I assume it had to do with his color. He also had trouble meeting women there, and if he did find one to date, he would then have some trouble from the Mexican men.

However, I met a couple of Black (is that OK to say?) guys at my school, which just happens to sponsor a professional Basketball team in the Mexican Pro. Basketball league. They were stars on the team, making really good money, and they simply loved Guadalajara. They had no trouble at all from anybody, probably due to the fact that they were local celebrities.

So I guess it is just like anywhere else. You might be well recieved, or you might not. Just depends on your personality a bit too. My friend from school was an introvert, so that didn't help him in the least. A couple other black guys were extroverts, and they had the women coming around.

So, I have probably confused you now about the way you might be recieved, but those are just some more personal experiences I can relate to you.

Randy

[Tai]

... in response to I can vouch for that., posted by Randy G on Aug 26, 2001

Randy,

Your experiences are appreciated, regardless. I have had numerous opportunities to travel to Mexico, but the feedback on experiences there by AAM collegues and friends whose judgement and perspective I trust has always retarded my desire. Sure, how I am received may be quite different, but the information presented so far does little to support that premise.

On the basketball player aspect: Men with Fame/Celebrity are attractive to women the world over. As they say, power is the greatest aphrodisiac. So where color might otherwise be an issue, the Fame/Celebrity overrides it.

From what I haved gathered about Guadalajara per se, I'd guess furthermore that the "class level" afforded by the basketball players salary is probably a major factor in turning their cultural "wheels of acceptance".

Out of curiosity though, in your dating experiences in Mexico, did you personally have any trouble/issues with the Mexican men?

Tai

ps - My African American women friends have returned with totally contrary perspectives in their experiences there; Mexican men pursuing them and the Mexican ladies' reactions/response. - Go figure.

[JUAN]

... in response to Re: One little question and...BAM!, posted by Tai on Aug 25, 2001

I didn't throw the 'R' word out just because Randy is a white man, I'm not ignorant.

As far as 'R' word goes, let's just say there are people that could be described as such in EVERY culture/race/country and it goes every which way.

[Randy G]

... in response to For the record, posted by JUAN on Aug 25, 2001

When I first arrived in Guadalajara at my university, my fellow students from various countries were talking about how unexpected it was to see so many white Mexicans in Guadalajara. This is due to the fact that we all have had stereotypes in the past about who we think the Mexicans are and what they look like, it is just that simple. We all discovered that there was alot more to the ethnic mix in Mexico than we ever thought. It was a discovery, plain and simple.

You can sit there and make derogatory statements about my character and twist what I said into some kind attack on Chicanos, but anyone who reads my original post knows there is no malice in my words. I am not that kind of person. But you wouldn't know that because you are a judgemental, small minded person.

I grew up out west, and I am 'colorblind'. I grew up around Rodeo. We had a few black Cowboys that were very good Cowboys. They were Cowboys to us, not black Cowboys or minority Cowboys. They had nothing but our admiration and respect. There were also a couple of Mexican and Japanese Cowboys too that were to us, Cowboys. They were judged by what they could do in the arena and how they handled themselves out of it. They were respected and were respectful.

Bottom line: You are way out of bounds here and to stoop to slander shows what kind of person you are to me and all the others on this forum.

Randy

[JUAN]

... in response to Slander isn't a very good way to make a ..., posted by Randy G on Aug 26, 2001

What are you trying to prove?  

You posted something, I disagreed, 'opinions' are like a-holes everbody's got one.

I apologize for throwing out the 'R' word, it's just that the 'impression' I got from reading your post(s) was that you harbored those kinds of feelings towards chicanos but you say you don't so I have to take you at your word. I DON'T KNOW YOU.  

Anyway, thanks for keeping the conversation civil.

[Tai]

... in response to For the record, posted by JUAN on Aug 25, 2001

Juan,

Since I do not know you personally, I would not claim to know your motivation regarding Randy and the "R" tag, so I take you at your word. -No problem.

Until such time as we each are "all-knowing", we will all continue to be ignorant at various points in our lives on some level or another(myself included).

To lack knowledge of something in a given subject or instance, is to be ignorant in that given subject or instance. -Again, these are not directed statements, simply general statements of fact that apply to us all regardless of age, race, culture, country, language, etc.

And as far as cultures/races/countries and racism going every which way....IMO you are completely correct, and I completely agree.

Tai

[JUAN]

... in response to For the record, posted by JUAN on Aug 25, 2001

With the point you made at the end of your post.

[Patrick]

... in response to What about Mexico?, posted by Randy G on Aug 24, 2001

I think the lack of interest in Mexico is simply due to the fact that most guys rely on agencies and the Mexican women are much less likely to join an agency than women from Colombia.  THat's why there's so many in Colombia, and so few in Mexico.  Most of the guys have little interest in studying Spanish and prefer to be taken care of in a foreign country by English speaking people.  They use translators to comminicate with the women who don't speak English (which very few do fluently).

Without speaking Spanish and having time to be there for extended stays, I think most gringos will have a harder time finding a Mexican woman.  I believe you lived in Mexico while attending a university.  Few men have the opportunity to do something like that.  For the guys who do know Spanish, taking out their own personal ads in Mexican newspapers to develop relationships through correspondance and telephone calls before traveling would be the best option in my opinion.  I think the Mexican ladies are much more likely to respond to a personal ad from a man than one from an agency.  We've advertised heavily in Mexico with very poor results, though I got a very good response to my own personal ad published in Monterrey, Chihuahua, and Mexicali a few years ago.

[Richard Smith]

... in response to Re: What about Mexico?, posted by Patrick on Aug 25, 2001


Could you please explain exactly how to take out an ad out in a Mexican newspaper.  Who to talk too.  What section of the paper do you put it in.  Do they have personals??  There are some of us who would like to try this.  I was in Guadalajara last week with Mexican Matchmakers.  Less than half the women showed up for their appointments.  And the ones who did show up were similar to American women.  It was basically a waste of time and money.  I think you are correct that time is better spent putting out an ad and developing a relationship before committing time and effort by actually going there.  The better women in Mexico can be found outside an agency.

[harry allen]

... in response to Re: Re: What about Mexico?, posted by Richard Smith on Aug 27, 2001

Richard, could you tell me about your experience with Mexican Matchmaker. I am close to dealing with them. You indicate its not as represented.
Thanks
Harry

[joeythecloser]

... in response to Mexican Matchmakers?, posted by harry allen on Aug 31, 2001

if it's the mexican matchmaker in tijuana mexico I would recomend staying away, they are nice people, but they run their business more like a hobby and their greatest interest is just collecting the membership.  If it's the other mexican matchmaker in guadalajara I say go for it...peace.