tampo this and tampo that

[Carl]

... in response to tampo this and tampo that, posted by Lori on Apr 14, 2001

Lori
I have not directed any post to you in the past. But have always read what you say. Many have said, their is good and bad everywhere and I agree. I believe we all here on this board respect you and your effort. Although I am married to a wonderful Filipina, I know there are good AW's and you are one of them. You are very welcome here. Keep love in our hearts and we all will win someday. Happy Easter and think of why we have this holiday. All the best to you and your family.
Carl

[outwest]

... in response to tampo this and tampo that, posted by Lori on Apr 14, 2001

I thought filipinas were the only ones who could tampo.
otherwise if an AW does it, its called silent treatment.
or something,
     Please realize a lot of men who come on this board
want simple answers to their dilemmas, and I admit when
i first started my quest , i tended to say AW are a certain
way, as well as to say filipinas are a certain way, sweet
innocent etc, Its a way of not looking inward to see that
possibly we may be part of the problem and why our past
relationships work out.
    Many of the men on the board realize after awhile that
it is not only pointless to generalize about our past
relationship failure, but it is also daqngerous to take
generalizing to the next level and say, all filipinas are
good, etc, Each individual person is different, there are
good and bad in each country, and the faster we learn to
judge each person on their own merits, the better off we are.
     The same applies to this board, Some of us are still
in the mindset of making broad generalizations about AW,
the ones who have moved on and learned, know that any
generalization is not only wrong, but a waste of time,
    If you see posts on the board that bother you, just
ignore them, dont get offended, I see posts like that all
the time, and I just realize we will never all agree.
   Just know that we welcome your presence on the board,
You are really the only armerican woman perspective we have
so Welcome bsck hope you stay.
  We missed ya. )

[greg]

... in response to tampo this and tampo that, posted by Lori on Apr 14, 2001

Gooooood to hear from you again. greg

[cc]

... in response to tampo this and tampo that, posted by Lori on Apr 14, 2001

Lori, you are perfectly correct in being offended about was has been said by some here about AW and there is no need to be "embarassed" about your response at all. Generalizations are ALWAYS wrong. If you read some of the postings during the last 10 days about the Chinese, it made me very very sad too, to read how terrible and evil people and full of lies they are supposed to be. These generalizations are simply wrong. And it is equally wrong to proclaim how wonderful all the Filipinas are - we had a couple of examples counter to this as well recently!

Some persons are simply full of hate or resentment, be it because of personal bad experiences (understandable!) or because they fall victim to media propaganda (a little less understandable). What it boils down to is that every person is first "a person", with all their own struggles and problems of life, and nobody should judge the others by their own. Too bad, this part of the Christian message is rarely been taken seriously by the Christians... Happy Easter to you!

[greg]

... in response to Re: tampo this and tampo that, posted by cc on Apr 15, 2001

Your Incredible. Bill Clinton must be looking for you lol. greg

[Stephen]

... in response to Re: tampo this and tampo that, posted by cc on Apr 15, 2001

CC:

Generalizations are ALWAYS wrong. If you read some of the postings during the last 10 days about the Chinese, it made me very very sad too, to read how terrible and evil people and full of lies they are supposed to be. These generalizations are simply wrong.

STEPHEN:

Are you really sure you want to get started on this again?  The more we learn about the plane incident, the worse the Chinese look.

I'm beginning to think that your initials...."CC"....stand for "Chinese Communist".

[cc]

... in response to Re: Re: tampo this and tampo that, posted by Stephen on Apr 15, 2001

Peace - and no, I am neither a Chinese nor a Communist, just having my opinions...

[may10]

... in response to tampo this and tampo that, posted by Lori on Apr 14, 2001

BIG  *S* .....welcome back, Lori....I missed you.

It's okay...i know exactly how you felt.  That was and is how I still feel when reading some posts here.  

[Lori]

... in response to Re: tampo this and tampo that, posted by may10 on Apr 14, 2001

You are a great lady May. Maybe I can take some advise from you, since you have probably raised your children already.
I am having problems with my daughter. Here goes.... Vietnam is still a very conservative country. I am trying to teach her their culture. We are having a problem agreeing to what she can and can't wear over there. It is common for the girls to wear shorts and tank tops here, But not so over there.  I want her to wear capri pants and shirts with caped sleaves. Even though she is only 13, she has a figure of a woman, and is very beautiful. Now I have become the "un-cool" mother. The thing that bothers me most, is that she thinks I am trying to be someone I am not. For the mere fact that I am covering my tatoo's when I go there. I try to explain to her that I am just trying to respect their culture while I am there. It would be differant if we were not actually living with them. But as long as we stay in their house we will live as they live.

I am thinking she'll understand more when we get over there. I know she'll want to "fit in" with all the other girls. I know she is young and is still learning about life. I try to explain to her that some people judge you from first impressions.

The thing that bothers me most is that she thinks I am trying to be someone  what I am not. Which is not true.

[madmal]

... in response to *S*, posted by Lori on Apr 16, 2001

Hi Lori,
You summed it up when you said "I know she'll want to 'fit in' with all the other girls."
This is true, to a degree. If Thai's family are very conservative then the 'girls' will follow this. But if they have had much exposure to satellite TV they will be very interested in your daughters wardrobe. The young kids in Vietnam see MTV Asia and CNN and World Movies. They know what's fashionable in some of the trendiest places in the world (Hong Kong and Singapore)
Just make sure there are some long sleeved tops and long pants in her bag (or your bag if she protests too much)
Light cotton is good because June will be very hot...and the sun is unrelenting. (Only peasants have sun tans)
She can take some trendy gear, but she may never wear it when she sees how everyone else dresses.
People tend to draw certain conclusions about young ladies in revealing dress.

mal

[Dave H]

... in response to *S*, posted by Lori on Apr 16, 2001

Hi Lori,

Didn't you know that you can't reason with a teen? ;o))
What I would do is tell her that if she wears those clothes, creepy old men will be staring at her body and drooling. 8-Q (You know..those "old" guys 25 and above). ;o)If that doesn't work, tell her that those clothes are only worn by prostitutes there. So, she will have to stay at home. Preferably with someone that she finds very strict and boring. I threaten my kids with their grandmother. Works like a charm. ;o))

I knew you had tattoos. LOL That's OK...we still love you. ;o))

Dave H.

[Lori]

... in response to Use Threats! Don't Reason!, posted by Dave H on Apr 17, 2001

funny thing is, Dave, hehe, that's exactly what I told her. We are now going shopping for some snesible clothes.
May---Sorry I assumed you were married with children. Just my American ignorance *S*, I guess.
Am wondering if you are on this board to find a prospect?? Or to just keep these guys in line?

[MAY]

... in response to Re: Use Threats! Don't Reason!, posted by Lori on Apr 18, 2001

I have thought that THAT would be the impression of most people here BUT if you read my posts from the very start I was

told about this website by a friend of mine married to an American.

I thought this was a site for love stories since I am a sucker for one.  The rest is history......*s* ....maybe (?), if you have time, you can go back to March (last month)
archive....*s*

Anyway, that is the reason I have kept quiet for a few days now.  *s*

I'll still be here ......... to set some of the gentlemen straight from time to time, if needed.

Finding a prospect?....hhhmmmm.........I have always believed that true love finds each other and is never sought.  =)

P.S.  .....AND.......lol..check out my profile....NO WAY!!!....

[Dave H]

... in response to Re: Re: Use Threats! Don't Reason!, posted by MAY on Apr 18, 2001

Hi May,

I hope that you will post more than just "from time to time" to set us straight. I am interested in your opinions, even about durian ;oQ In fact, I would encourage all who are lurking to become active participants on this forum. Everyone has something to contribute. Why should only a few people have all the fun? )) I lurked for about a week before I decided to post. Darrell was going through a difficult time and I felt that I had to respond.

A week later, my love story with a wonderful Filipina began. I was helping someone, at a place I would not normally not be at. The next thing I knew, I had met my fiancee's sister and brother-in-law. We talked for over an hour. The brother-in-law asked if I would be interested in writing to someone. I surprised myself by saying yes, knowing that I am a lousy letter writer. I still haven't responded to my third grade pen pal in Montana or my eleventh grade sweetheart, who moved away. My fiancee's sister agreed with her husband, that Marife and I had a lot in common. They checked with her first, then gave me her address and phone number. I wrote a 5 page letter the day I received her address. After a month, I grew impatient waiting for my letter to reach her. I picked up the phone and called her. She was pleasantly shocked, but not as much as I. ;o)) Despite our initial shyness, we managed to talk for an hour before we realized it. Eight letters, many cards, numerous phone calls, and a visit later, we are awaiting her arrival in the US to marry. Our relationship has been difficult (like others here) because of the distance between us and governmental red tape. But, our love is worth the sacrifices. I love her more than any woman I have ever known. I am the man that has "won her heart." ))

Dave H.

[MAY]

... in response to *S*, posted by Lori on Apr 16, 2001

Hi Lori,

Thank you very much for that compliment....*s*....however, I think I should tell you that I have not yet been blessed to experience motherhood.  =)  

I don't have much information on Vietnam and how their culture have evolved since they opened their doors to other countries/beliefs.  I would however, take a guess that a lot of what's going on in other countries, including fashion, are things that are seen only in tv, movies and magazines.  This is not to say that the Vietnamese (specially the younger generation), are not appreciative of such fashion for I am sure that after years of communist rule,  they are just as excited about getting into the mainstream of things.

I understand your concerns for your daughter.  A lot of the older Vietnamese probably still have their own mindset of things.  But, being your daughter...I am also sure, that she is intelligent enough to understand what you really want to tell her.  

It's a great adventure for both of you.  So, take it as it is....with excitement, anticipation,  maybe (?) some very minor problems  (language...lol)...but, most importantly, a learning experience to start a new and happy life.

Just my thoughts.......*s*..by the way,  I have never been married so I may just be looking at this with my rose-colored spectacles on.  =)