Money and Relationships

[Sol]

I can't help but wonder if we might not all do better in Colombia (or wherever) by not flinging our money around at these Latinas we're trying to lure. In planning this trip (and my last one) I share with them my values around money.  I ask that they scope out safe, good hotels in convenient neighborhoods in the $40-$50 per night range. This lets them know right away that I pay attention to what I spend. Once I'm there I'm happy to take them to nice places. I have the conversation up front that I'm not poor and I'm not rich. I don't throw expensive gifts at them but I am VERY romantic and impress them with my attention to detail. I'm happy to spend money when I see a value in doing so, like traveling to Colombia, and making sure she has the chance to visit her family if we marry. With any lady I'm serious enough about I'll have the conversation that I make enough money that we can indulge in nice meals out and travel but that saving to raise a familiy and for our future retirement together comes first.I'd for sure engage her in the family finances.

I believe the ones who value stable finances and can exchange expensive frivolous things for being a partner in our financial destiny will be thrilled to find me.

[JimSimon]

... in response to Money and Relationships, posted by Sol on Jul 15, 2001

100% correct.  If you have nothing to offer a latina except your money, then frivilous and extravagant spending might be your only prayer but I personally want to amrry someone who shares my values about money and it starts from day 1.

Also when you realize that $5 per day is minimum wages and $2 is a GREAT JOB, if you can affor plane fare to Colombia, you are rich by their standards.  Anyone from Colombia will have trouble understanding why someone who earns a small salary in the US needs to watch what he spends.

This financial advise should be #1 on everyone's list.

Peace,

Jim

[Patrick]

... in response to Money and Relationships, posted by Sol on Jul 15, 2001

I was (and still am) the same way.  I value money for security and buy few luxuries.  I bought no gifts whatsoever for ladies until I was engaged and did not throw money around trying to impress anyone.  I ended up with a lady who's habits make me look like a loose cannon with money.  She'd save wrapping paper to re-use for gifts if I let her.

P.S.  Try Cartegena for vacations if you want a great time and value for your dollar.  We had an all-inclusive deal in a good hotel that included a room, all meals, and an open unlimited bar for about $40 per night per person.  We took an all-day island hopping tour that included lunch and several stops including an outdoor aquarium where you could snorkel beside the holding tanks for $12 each. We've been to Puerto Vallarta in Mexico and once to Maui, but we still enjoyed the Cartegena trip the most and spent about 1/3 the money. It's got great historical interests as well that you can spend many hours touring.

[FenixRises]

... in response to Money and Relationships, posted by Sol on Jul 15, 2001

Hi Sol,
This is a great topic. Having recently returned from Cali I think that the money topic is one way to test for "red flags". One lady that I spent a few days with was quite conscientious about money. She always checked taxi drivers and store clerks to see that they returned the correct change whenever I paid for something. She wouldn't hesitate for a second to dispute a receipt and chided me for excess tipping. She did this when purchasing something for herself as well. As a side note whenever a lady came to the agency to see one of the guys staying there he always gave her twice the taxi fare. That is, he paid for her to come to the agency. When she arrived he paid for the taxi. Then he knew what her return fare would be. He then gave that amount to her right away. I think the women appreciate this small bit of gallentry. Then they know that they can leave whenever they want and at no cost other than their time.
Fred

[Cali vet]

... in response to Money and Relationships, posted by Sol on Jul 15, 2001

Sol I completely agree with you. There seems to be a typical American attitude that you solve or acheive anything by throwing enough money at it, that you can essentilly but affection. I have seen this too many times in the agencies. Some guys go down and just don't realize they are in a very poor country with more than 20% unemployment, maybe worse in Cali. When Americans start throwing money around down there like it's confetti it distorts everything and then we wonder why we're such a popular kidnapping target. How can you have any idea what a girl sincerely thinks of you if you first flash cash at her then tell her you like her. In their daily lives these girls have to think hard about spending 10.000 pesos on something. We complain about meeting too many "chicas interesadas" but much of the time we're the ones who trained them. Any spending on these girls should be very conservative untill you really get to know who you're dealing with. And speaking of hotels, if those girls go traveling they will stay in a $10 hotel. $40-50 is for rich foreigners. And lastly I have to say I've been just as guilty as anyone else in this regard. I think it takes a number of trips before we can reajust our thinking.