... in response to Money & Marriage, posted by JunFan68 on Jul 16, 2001Mike:
Really good question you posted there. Like everything else in marriage, money matters are best resolved with communication, communication, and more commnication. It seems to me that people with yours, mine and ours money matters always seem to always not have enough and also seem to have a lot of tension and strain on the relationship. Perhaps if you allocate a "budget" for the home and family expenses in a joint account every month and let her manage it, she'll feel like she's part of the team. I'm sure she's used to budgeting and will very quickly understand where the money is spent and what how much she can save and how much blow. Keeping her in the decision part of the loop is always a good idea and will prevent her from feeling like you're the sugar daddy with a mystery stash to go to when she wants something.
When my wife and I first started out, we did the yours mine, and ours thing with separate accounts. I quickly learned that if I just dump a certain amount in ar joint saving and checking accounts every month and let her budget it out, things became far easier. Naturally as my income risen, so does the budget, but we always invest some and save some of the budget. She's really good with money and probably saves more than I ever would. Investment decisions are made together in our house.
This is just how my marriage works - of course my wife spent a number of years on her own working and raising her daughter before we hooked up, so knew the necessity of living on a budget. She's also from a country with an economy more like the US than like Colombia (Japan), but it sure made things far smoother when everything was out in the open between us.
Just my 2 yen worth.
-- Jeff S.
