A breath of fresh air

[Dean]

Greetings Board....

Its been a while since I've read the posts here...
As some may remember my wife Paty and I were married in March in Bogota.
I though that I might contribute an update on our situation.
Paty and I pursued the DCF method after marriage in Bogota.
3 weeks later we arrived here in Raleigh NC..

We traveled from Bogota to Raleigh via Atlanta....
The immigration people in Atlanta were gracious and polite....
Much thanks and admiration to them...
Paperwork went through without a hitch....Much thanks to Dr. Diaz and the ladies in his office.

Now listen....It was the most interesting experience watching someone discover America for the first time....
The sights, smells, tastes ....the total thing.....

Paty is the ultimate wife.....
she has taken over the house....its wonderful....

I think for the first time in her life its her house....
Everything has been arranged and organized...
My breakfast is ready in the morning and lunch fixed....
Supper ready after work....

Its a joy to be around such a woman....

We spend our time seeing the sights....
I've tried to do something different every evening in terms of seeing
the town...

Now...all my old photos of "ultra chicas" have been discovered...
I was politely and quietly informed that the situation is "No Bueno".
We selected the photos to be "dissappeared".

Our local community college hosts ESL classes for free 4 nights a week.
We've enrolled and are enjoying the situation so far....Paty very excited....

Lina is Paty's daughter....She has transitioned well and made fast friends of my Dobermans who follow her around all day and sleep with her at night...

A big plus is getting Direct TV with the Spanish package....
Have been watching "Betty La Fea"....very important....

I hope the update is well received....
Life is very good.....Much better than ever before.....

Thanks,
Dean

[Michael B]

... in response to A breath of fresh air, posted by Dean on May 22, 2001

ESL in Charolette? I'm thinking I might know the teacher. Is it a woman about 45, petitte, named Tavira but perfers to be called 'Tevy'?

[Houndog]

... in response to A breath of fresh air, posted by Dean on May 22, 2001

Good Post Dean

My lady just arrived Sat. I met her in Miami and we flew home that night. I totally agree watching and helping them discover an amazing and HUGE new world has been priceless to experience. And I second the fun of watching my lady take over her new house. She spent the day with me at work yesterday and today started cleaning her place to a level of spit shine I'd long forgot.

She has gotten up fixed my breakfast, lunch and cooked dinner for us with a big smile. Teaching her about Teflon pans and dishwashers has been a hoot. Almost everything we take for granted is new and wonderful to her.

There are millions of things to go but my girl is such a willing and happy learner that I look forward to countless pleasant memories.

Congrats to you on your success.

Regards, Houndog

[Ralph]

... in response to A breath of fresh air, posted by Dean on May 22, 2001

Many people think that getting a Latina to Marry you is hard. Once they get engaged, they become "successful". Bad news, getting engaged is easy. Staying happily married long term is the hard part.

These women have some serious adjustments ahead of them.
The hardest part is daytime. I am also trying very hard to show my wife the sites. We have been having a great time. During the day however she feels very lonely, and doesn't like living in Texas. She preferred NY, as we had friends and family there.

She was used to Santo Domingo, where all the neighbors were friends etc. Here, you run into people on their way to and from work etc.

Luckily we have many friends here because of my job. We try to go to lunch with "the gang" a few times a week, and have been socializing after work.

She has subscribed to Sylvia's list, and can email friends and family etc. She just misses that human contact during the day. I try and make it home for lunch whenever I can, and she makes me feel great when I see her "light up", when I come home.

I am going to get her enrolled in some more english classes etc, to keep her more occupied. Plus once she starts frequenting the Gymn and Pool here, it will be easier for her to meet the neighbors.

[Hodajr]

... in response to good post, posted by Ralph on May 22, 2001

Will be a problem once your lady gets here. Stivalis & I have talked this over a few times. Like you said, english classes, working out & maybe even some volunteer work might help with adapting to life here. BTW, have you heard anything about Syliva & Richard. D*** shame what happen to them. One of the sweetest couples one could ever meet.

Peace....Hoda

[Ralph]

... in response to Loneliness & boredom..., posted by Hodajr on May 22, 2001

Last I heard Sylvia was the same. Not doing much better. I really miss her posts on LWL. She is special. I got to take them out to dinner a few days after they were wed. She was GLOWING!

I really hope Sylvia makes a complete recovery very soon.

[Hodajr]

... in response to A breath of fresh air, posted by Dean on May 22, 2001

I've already inquired about the addition of the Spanish speaking stations via Direct TV. Interesting that you've made mention of your new daughter & her adaption to life here. I could picture her playing with your dobermans. And your dobies making sure NOBODY messes with her...LOL.

It's funny how you mention how your lady has taken over the house. I anticipate the same once my lady arrives. I told her she can select the furniture, but the electronics are my domain....LMAO!

If you have the time, could you share your insights & experiences in regards to your lady & your new daughter. I think that you & Pete E. are the only guys who post, who are envolved with ladies with children.

Peace, Health & Happiness to you & yours....Hoda

[Dean]

... in response to Thanks Dean...., posted by Hodajr on May 22, 2001

Greetings....

The loneliness factor is something to consider....
I work during the day and I imagine that the time becomes long at times for Paty,,,,

However, with Lina here there is someone to talk to and interact with which helps...

Direct TV was a wonderful addition....We got to watch the last few episodes of "Betty", which I think was very important for Paty....(pretty good show)...

Paty has made comments about the difference in life here as compared to Bogota....
We live in a relatively new suburb, which is filled with young working couples....very few people during the day...
Its a HUGE contrast to Bogota, which is literally teeming with people, taxi's and the buses.

It's an occasion to see a taxi or bus here....

I think the transition depends on the people involved...
Paty and I are basically quiet home bodies....
We both value quiet time together in the family setting at home....
We have tried at Paty's suggestion to ease into the transition slowly with some success....

We have had some difficulty with my sister...the type A feminist trying to dominate things....
Paty, I think, has handled a difficult situation with style and grace....preferring to spend time at home with me instead of continuous meetings and activities planned by my sister,,,

fine with me....Paty's choice and descision....

I read here once that Colombian women are very good at "reading" people. I'd 2nd that observation....
Paty picked right up on the situation...with the barrier of different languages to compound the situation...

The situation has some what frustrated my sister, who can't understand why a woman would prefer home and family to women's discussion groups etc...

Our local community college has 6 levels of ESL classes offered. Paty is very excited and happy with the situation.
There is NO cost, the distance is very close to the house...
It's something to break the day and have some personal time in a positive setting....

It's also the "coming to America and building a new life" thing....It's really cool and enjoyable to watch her face and understand that she is happy and fulfilled with the challenge".

Lina is 5...and please understand that the Dobes have direction to provide security to my baby....
They follow her around all day...
All three take naps together...one on each side of Lina...
Interesting playmates...I find myself wondering what Lina will remember as an adult when she remembers her first "playmates" here in the house....  

It's incredible how quickly Lina is learning words and phrases in English....
Also understands that "Poppy" doesn't understand all the words she says....and slowing down and pronouncing the words slowly so its easier for me to follow....

She is also teaching me the words in Spanish for the English words she has learned....

I'm trying to devote especial time to father-daughter activities....
This is my first time at this....
washing the jeeps...
washing the Dobes...
cleaning the garage....

my selection probably could use some improvement, but its a start....transition for me too....  

In short...there's a lot to it....
explanations for things we take for granted....
answering machines....caller ID....pagers....
central heat and A/C has been a challenge....
explaining money and value of products...
Explaining why we have to have perscriptions for medicine here...etc...

The rewards are wonderful....
The house and family have balance....
everyone is happy with the situation....(maybe not my sister)

Its a good feeling....very male....
provide and protect....

worth all the time, expense, immigration puzzles and negative reinforcement from friends and family...

By the way guys....she has a sister...wonderful woman....

Thanks for your time....
Dean

[Houndog]

... in response to Re: Thanks Dean...., posted by Dean on May 23, 2001

Dean I must say that my experience so far is almost a mirror image of the things you talk about.

I also have dogs and LE has taken to them and vice versa...and my house has never been so clean...ever...

LE has spent the last couple days while I was at work "organizing"..and cleaning. And teaching her how to use all the gizmo's has been a priceless experience for me, and since Cartagena is hot and Humid without any A/C...getting her to remember to close doors and windows has been really funny...down there everything is left open 24/7...LOL..and it took some explaining but Now she leaves the water running until she shuts off the garbage disposal...LOL...so many little things that have to make smile and think back to less gaditzed times...

You did a good job of listing so many things...Thanks..

Houndog

[Hoda]

... in response to Re: Thanks Dean...., posted by Dean on May 23, 2001

The loneliness factor.... Stivalis has a few distant relatives that have recently visited Cali, living in "Little Colombia" in NYC & New Jersey. I think that the fact, that since there is a heavy spanish presence here, it might take a little of the homesickness & loneliness away that she will be going through. My female hispanic family here is already setting up a support group for her...BY TAKING HER SHOPPING FOR NEW CLOTHES....YIKES!!!!

Peace....Hoda

[Hoda]

... in response to Re: Thanks Dean...., posted by Dean on May 23, 2001

Contrary to where you live at, We'll be living in NYC. My area has considerably more traffic than your area. The demographic's offer a decent mix of english & spanish speakers. Stivalis is basically a home-body herself. She enjoys going out, but doesn't have to go out to enjoy herself. I've tried to give her as much info as possible, without overloading her, on life here.

I know she prefers city to rural life. I point out the many similarities of life in NYC & Cali. She's shown me her street smarts that she's learned in Cali. From what I've seen, she'll be fine here! I tease her that'll she have to walk faster to avoid from being trampled over...LOL!!

In regards to your little lady...she'll remember all those moments with your dobie's. Your dobie's know just what their doing, protecting the princess. Your daughter & your dobie's have unconditional love for one another. In regards to your SISTER!!! Your lady knows the deal. Hopefully your sister will give it a rest and accept the situation, no matter how bad it rattles her cage....LMAO!!!

Thanks again Dean, I hope the fellas are taking notes. The easy part is the search, the REAL WORK begins, when you bring 'em home....

Peace...Hoda

[Ralph]

... in response to Re: Thanks Dean...., posted by Dean on May 23, 2001

It looks like you are very lucky, Having a child around definitely helps keep them "busy". In fact my wife is trying to get some of her friends to send one of their kids out here to visit for a while!

Congrats on finding the two of them!