How do Ralph and Houndog speak w/ their brides?

[david]

Just a honest question.  I gather from your post HD and Ralph's spanish is not fluent. Just how do you communicate with the love of your life?  Since , I only speak moderate spanish, please tell me how your able to understand the smallest details of her thoughts? It may help me. Thanks David

[Jeff S]

... in response to How do Ralph and Houndog speak w/ their ..., posted by david on May 14, 2001

David:
My wife & I spoke little of each other's language when we met. We learned some more during our 2 year courtship, but neither were fluent when we were married. You don't need to know the smallest details of her thoughts (not that that's even possible with someone who's a native English speaker, either,) but what you CAN do is get a sense of each other's committment and devotion to each other. Marriage becomes a voyage of discovery about each other. Will you agree on everything? Of course not! Arguments sometimes take time while you both riffle through dictionaries, which sometimes is a GOOD thing, since it makes you clearly think out your position and tends to defuse emotion you might otherwise blurt out and regret later. It may be a bit tougher than if you both speak a common language, but NOTHING about marriage is simple. Now, my wife and I are both fluent in each other's language - she more in English since we live in the US, but can communicate in either. It is a manageable risk, if you believe you've found your soul mate, and one I, for one, am mighty glad I took.
-- Jeff S.

[Starman]

... in response to How do Ralph and Houndog speak w/ their ..., posted by david on May 14, 2001

Or, how does she communicate with us. It's a two way street. And, the most important communication is non-verbal (and I don't mean sex).

I'm learning Spanish from a Mexican friend because I'm taking this very serious. That does not mean that I'll be fluent anytime soon. It will be a long term endevor. I would think that the right person would do the same for me, and during this process, become either closer or realize we are not right for one another. I think that this so called "gap" can be a benefit if approached with a determined and open heart.

Tim.

[Ralph]

... in response to Re: How do Ralph and Houndog speak w/ th..., posted by Starman on May 14, 2001

It can be fun helping eachother learn different languages. You certainly do not need to be fluent, but knowing some spanish helps.

You are on the right track, trying to learn. Most veterans will tell you it is a big help!

[Traveler]

... in response to Learning together is fun!, posted by Ralph on May 14, 2001

I know that initially it is frustrating since you know what you want to say but can't say it.  the conversations are ver y simplistic.  

also, I wonder how the guys don't speak Spanish will respond once the initial novelty wears off.  

I imagine in most cases, it will be the women who end up learning English rather than the guys learning Spanish.

[Starman]

... in response to got to do your homework right Ralph, posted by Traveler on May 15, 2001

To me learning to speak Spanish is much more than just communicating with your novia or wife; it is a very romantic language and I really want to be able to talk with any Spanish speaking person when needed. In my area, there are many Mexicans who feel isolated and I think that if more locals spoke Spanish friendships would develop and we could help them out as needed.

The culture associated with the language will also enrich you as a person as we learn about other people and their lifestyles.

So, we should have a desire to better ourselves by learning Spanish (or other languages for that matter) for many reasons. That's what I'm doing now. I feel it is just part of growing as an individual.

For those out there desiring to learn Spanish, I recommend finding someone who speaks the language natively, and ask if they will spend a lot of time doing some one on one instruction. I'm learning from a Mexican lady who I met at church, and being about to get the personal attention and being about to be flexible with my schedule has been invaluable.

Tim.

[Jeff S]

... in response to Re: got to do your homework right Ralph, posted by Starman on May 16, 2001

When you learn another language, you also learn far more than just words and syntax. I speak a lot of Spanish at work, a lot of Japanese at home and English everywhere else. The camaraderie you get from groups when speaking their language is amazing, and the cultural experience you're exposed to, even if you never visit the country, is orders of magnitude greater than you would just visiting the country as a tourist. I get invited to many events where I'm the only gringo (or in many cases, only hakugin) and get to experience an immersion in the culture unlike what 99.9% of my friends can even imagine. Whether you're shopping for a wife or not, learning different languages is not only useful, but incredible horizon expanding.
-- Jeff S.

[Edge]

... in response to Re: got to do your homework right Ralph, posted by Starman on May 16, 2001

you recognize the importance and value of learning Spanish and also the cultural value.  Here is what may or probably will happen if you find a Latina who does not speak English and you want to build a relationship with her.  You are going to have to figure out a way to communicate if you are going to have any type of relationship.  It is much easier for us to learn Spanish than for many of the Latinas to learn English.  Also be aware that from talking to my novia, many of these girls are reluctant to start to learn English until they are pretty sure they are headed here and some of her friends have said they will wait until they arrive here because it may be easier for them to learn English here.  So  are you going to use a computer translator or what to build this relationship?  The whole process will be much easier if you do as you are doing and start to learn to speak Spanish so you can be ready when you find someone.  Of course, it will also aid you in your search because you can be more independent while there and enjoy the experience to a greater degree.

One thing I would also recommend is also take some formal classes so you get the good foundation of the language in addition to getting the one on one instruction with this nice lady.  Unless of course she is also teaching you all the basics and the reasoning behind what you are learning, etc.  I was able to talk to my novia alot on the phone to be able to have someone to talk with in addition to taking the classes.

For all the new guys that are making plans to go to the agencies, I would also include Spanish lessons in your plans.

Hey good luck Tim - it seems you are on the right track.

[Starman]

... in response to Re: Re: I think it is great......, posted by Edge on May 16, 2001

Well, as far as the basics in a structured classroom setting, she cannot really provide this, but what she does provide is good feedback and commonly spoken phrases to get me on the right track in as short amount of time possible until my trip this July. When I return, I may find additional ways of learning such as classroom instruction as well. I really enjoy learning...it seems I cannot get enough. It's just that having a full time job, family and friends takes up the most of my time so I can only do what I can with what I have.

Thanks for the post.

Tim.

[Edge]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: I think it is great......, posted by Starman on May 16, 2001

Do what you can with the time you have.  There are many people in the same boat.  Trying to juggle all the obligations.  But your "enthusiasm" is what you need to keep on track with the Spanish thing.  I was and still am the same way.

If you do not mind my asking, where are you going in July?

Hopefully, after the trip you will have a Latina sweetheart to practice your Spanish and build a relationship with.

Luego.

[Meisme]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re:  Do what you can.., posted by Edge on May 16, 2001

I am having a great time learning spanish!  Every time I take a trip to Latin America I know a little more.  I have a personal goal.. how much more spanish can I learn before I take my next trip. It is very motivating and rewarding.

I have been collecting Spanish Rock music for about six months as well.. this is some great stuff, and a very good tool to help me down the road to my goal without pain:)

BTW, if you like rock, you are missing a huge selection of absolutely great music if you don't listen to spanish rock.
Find a radio station and find the stuff you like and go for it!

Cheyanne, mana, christian castro etc etc etc..

Doug.

[Edge]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:  Do what you can.., posted by Meisme on May 17, 2001

I have a feeling when the novia gets here I will be listening to much more Latin music.  I have already bought some CD's she wanted me to get for her.  She does like her music.  Luckily, so do I.

The other novia I had in Venezuela was crazy about music, which I did not mind.  This girl could sing and would belt out a song with great emotion.  I kind of miss hearing her sing.

Keep learning the Spanish, I can relate to what you say about motivation and it being rewarding.

Luego.

[Edge]

... in response to got to do your homework right Ralph, posted by Traveler on May 15, 2001

I think the guys that that will not make the effort to learn  the language of their woman are missing out.  They do not know what they are missing because they have not experienced being able to communicate well with her in her native language.  They will default to having her learn English.  There is no doubt that her learning English is also important, but if you know Spanish, you can help and teach her much easier.

[Ralph]

... in response to How do Ralph and Houndog speak w/ their ..., posted by david on May 14, 2001

Stumbling through the language is fun. If I don't know a word or phrase I figure out a different way to say it.

For instance I never new the word for ceiling. Once I wanted to tell my Lady something about a ceiling. I said "el Pared de arriba" and pointed to the ceiling. She said "techo", and I learned a new word!

Don't pay attention to flames. You asked a legitimate question. I guess if I needed a translator, and had only travelled to see my Lady three times, having doubts on the last trip, I'd be defensive too;-)

[Ralph]

... in response to How do Ralph and Houndog speak w/ their ..., posted by david on May 14, 2001

I can speak Spanish OK. My grammar is not great but my vocabulary is decent and I can communicate. I have actually done traing at a TV Station in the DR. They paid me to train their staff on our products. I did the entire 8 hours in Spanish as they spoke zero English.

I want to go to Berlitz to learn to speak proper Spanish as it will be very useful in business as well as communication with the Mrs!

She is picking up English as well, but my Spanish is WAY better than her English.

I am a big proponent on learning the language. It is the single best thing you can do while doing your "homework".