The slow train....

[Hoda]

Morning folks,

During my last visit, me & Stivalis decided on a day for our wedding. Even though the day is a year away, the pre-marital excitement/jitters have already begun. Many of you are aware that my adventure started in July of 99, when I first saw my fiancee on the Latin Internet site. I lucked-up in a chance meeting, during my first visit to Cali in Sept. of 99. No need for me to re-type my story here, in regards to all the people, places & events that have lead up to this point. It's all in my adventures to Caliland report in the archives.

Our decision to take the "Slow Train" to marriage was based on a mutual decision. We talked at length & in depth about our past relationships, and hopes for this one. We needed & wanted time to learn about each other. We didn't want to repeat our mistakes of the past. PATIENCE, or the lack there of, was one of the primary culprits that marked our past disappointments. The time between my visits to Cali & the long distance between us believe it or not, was not as big an issue, as we (or others) thought it would be. The bottom line was, we "knew" we had something very special. We were brought together by fate & slapped by the "THUNDERBOLT" ...*grin!

We were engaged in March of 2000. We agreed to atleast a year to a year & a half of engagemet. During this time, we shared personal personal trials & triumphs which only solidified our love for each other. Some of you are aware of trials of life that I am speaking of. Without going into detail, they are things that we "All" experience in our personal & professional lives at one point or another.

Could we have moved faster down the path toward marriage, probaly? It probaly would have placed more emotional pressure on our marriage. Stivalis & I are both happy that patience played a major part in "our" relationship. At a different time, these "trials" would have torn apart our relationships of the past. Not this time, not now.

The path Stivalis & I have choosen for ourselves, is what "WE NEEDED & WANTED", to give our love its best chance to grow & last. The time & distance betweeen us didn't diminish our confidence & love in each other. This path is not for all. But who knows of only "One" path towards happiness? Whatever path you take, however long it takes you to get there. Just get there.....

Peace....Howard

[JunFan68]

... in response to The slow train...., posted by Hoda on Apr 26, 2001

Congratulations.  I have learned alot from your posts and hope you continue to be active after she gets here...that's when we will need you most.  I am about 4-6 mos. behind you I would say...It will be one year since I first contacted Beatriz in a few weeks so it will be more or less 15-18 mos. before we are married....maybe that is the medium train.....la paz....Mike

[Larry in Dallas]

... in response to The slow train...., posted by Hoda on Apr 26, 2001

Dear Hoda:

   It will be a year when Nidyan and I tie the knot.  I am thankful that I did not rush either because self-reflection and patience are two very important keys to a successful relationship.
   I know in my heart that Nidyan and I do not just have "Puppy Love" because I am by the flesh a very impatient man and race into trouble and then crash and burn in it.
   I miss Nidyan every day and do not want any american women here in USA.  I have never waited for a year for a women in my life.  This tells me that it is different this time and that in previous relationships that were separated by a long distance I would say that I loved the lady, but after a month or two the pain of separation did not bite and the memories faded, but this time all  I got to say is

LOOK OUT!  IT'S      A      RUNAWAY        TRAIN!!!!!!!!!!!

WHHHOOOOOOOO.....WHHHHHHHHOOOOOOO......

                                  Larry in Dallas

[Houndog]

... in response to The slow train...., posted by Hoda on Apr 26, 2001

Mi Amigo,

Once again you set a Good Example for the countless 'wonderers". All those who have'nt been able to make the first steps in their journey 'yet'. You and Stivalis are showing so many negative 'nay sayers' that WE really can find Wonderful, Commited Women and True Love in this venue.

You prove with your slow approach that most of the women are willing to commit more to loving us, than simply getting here in a hurry.

While myself and LE are moving much faster than you and Stivalis, it has still been at this point, over a year since I first corresponded with her. And I will add that the love and trust her and I have has grown stronger with time also.

I commend you on your patience and strenght to endure your time line...and Stivalis.........but truly it helps to show that many of the men and women are in this for forever.

Best Wishes to Both of You in Life and Love.

Regards, Houndog

[Hodajr]

... in response to Re: The slow train...., posted by Houndog on Apr 26, 2001

With the current postings of engagements & weddings in the near future. This should KILL THE NOISE of those who preach that all these ladies desire, is to leave country to the first man to come along.

Peace...Hoda

[Georgina]

... in response to The slow train...., posted by Hoda on Apr 26, 2001

Dear Hoda,

My husband and I got married after 3 years and two visits. Once, he went to visit me to Peru and then I was able to get a tourist visa and visited him for one month. In the meanwhile we exchange pictures, gifts, emails, letters, phonecalls and fights.

We have been married for more than a year now and we love each other very much and are very happy.

All these three years helped us to determine how strong was our love and if we were able to fight the problems that arised on our way. We always though that if we could get over the problems that showed up when we were living apart from each other, we could resolved easily the problems when we live together as a married couple. And we can!

I should tell you. It was not easy. But it depends of you and Stivalis how much time are you guys able to stand separated.

I should confess I always had a fear. I feared that my husband would find someone here and forget about me and even if you know how much you love each other. The fear was always there. This was the worst of being separated for so long.

Well, it also depends on how creative are you guys! I always was looking for new things to tell him in my e-mails, new original gift, etc.

Good luck for both of you.

Georgina

[Hodajr]

... in response to Good luck for you!, posted by Georgina on Apr 26, 2001

How creative me & Stivalis were!!! I KNOW it wouldn't get pass Patrick's "Language filter". Hey wait a minute, maybe he doesn't have it fine tuned to catch certain Spanish words......Only kidding Patrick!!!

Peace...Hoda

[Pete Eiguren]

... in response to The slow train...., posted by Hoda on Apr 26, 2001

Howard,
It makes good sense to really get to know each other before you marry,but almost 3 years?You must be a man of extreme patience.You speak of the possible pressure on the relationship of moving too fast,but isn't there alot of pressure of moving slow?It would drive me nuts.(yup,I am not patient).
I just jumped in and got married fast which I admit was not wise and for a time appeared a mistake,but now our marriage is very good.I have been told I got lucky,which I think is true.
Actually I am not critisizing and think you are wise in this path.Congratualations to you and Stivalis on your decision.
Your posts are very intertaining and informative,but man you are making us wait along time for the final chapter!

Good luck and God bless,

Pete

[hodajr]

... in response to Re: The slow train...., posted by Pete Eiguren on Apr 26, 2001


With a little luck & patience....only a continuing story!

Peace....Hoda

[Pete Eiguren]

... in response to No final chapter......Pete., posted by hodajr on Apr 26, 2001

Howard,
I thought that might be bad wording.How about the chapter that ends with you Married and Stivalis here?That might be the end of the boy meets girl and gets married part.Of course the story continues after that.I am still posting.

Pete

[Villa in Cali]

... in response to The slow train...., posted by Hoda on Apr 26, 2001

It's nice to have watched your relationship grow from the beginning.  I am very happy for both of you.  Although we have traveled different paths in the last 2 years, I have always considered you a frined. If you marry in Cali next year, I would love to see it.

Pacino

[Traveller]

... in response to Re: The slow train...., posted by Villa in Cali on Apr 26, 2001

First, CONGRATULATIONS. I still think she is too good for you though.  LOL!
Second, I can't wait to see how she deals with New York weather when it gets below 30 degrees. LOL! I'd love to be around to see that.
Well, take care and I'll see you at the wedding.  =)
Keith

[Hodajr]

... in response to Re: Re: The slow train...., posted by Traveller on Apr 26, 2001

that makes here nervous. THE WEATHER!!! She's well aware that we have REAL SEASONS! Stivalis has been talking to family & friends who have made the adjustment to REAL WEATHER. You can best believe, I'll do my part to keep her nice & warm.....Boo-yaah!

Peace...Hoda

[Hodajr]

... in response to Re: The slow train...., posted by Villa in Cali on Apr 26, 2001

Has been received & accepted! Since you & Keith have a presence in Cali, your attendence is MANDATORY!!!!!

Peace...Hoda

[Jeff S]

... in response to The slow train...., posted by Hoda on Apr 26, 2001

My wife and I spent almost one and a half years and three trips together totalling nearly 12 weeks after getting engaged, and that was after an additional year and two more trips for 8 weeks together dating, before we were married. It was still tough, but we just celebrated our 15th anniversary and can say without reservation that we're soulmates. Best of luck to you.
-- Jeff S.