Lunch

[shadow]

At the same time I had met my beloved Myrna, I met another girl I liked very much, name of Nannette. I had decided to look Nannette up first, and see what may happen from there. Nannette turned out to be after nothing but money, much of the  the story is posted on Maganak starting about feb 27th.  It cost me about $100 to find this out, which I consider money well spent. Toto obviously thinks I am a fool for this, but he may find out the hard way someday that he is no longer in Kansas.     He'll love the rest of this, I'm sure.
After the Nanette experience, I set out trying to find honest filipinas, something I am now convinced are in short supply. I had written to several in the last few months, and started meeting them for lunch, usually accompanied by their mother, sister, friend, etc. There were 13 girls in all, 6 of which I had met on the internet, 3 had been refered by friends, or by others I had met on the internet, 2 I met in SM mall in different shops where they worked, 1 I met at church, and 1 I met at a bar. (That's right boys and girls, a bargirl!!) Many of you may be surprised to learn the bargirl actually turned out to be one of the more honest ones.
Lunch usually consisted of chicken and rice, hamburgers, or pizza, usually at jollibee, texas chicken, or greenwich. I would ask some very pointed questions, to which I recieved a variety of answers, such as;
What do you want out of life?        
 To have happy family.    To better my education, to get better job, etc.   To help my family.    
How many children do you want to have?
 Answers to this one varied between none and 12, most replied 4 or 6
Where do you want to live?
Trick question, 8 of them answered USA. Had I been Australian, these same 8 probably would have answered Australia.
How important is money to you?
Various answers, generally the consensus was it took money to raise a happy family. I usually turned this one around on them, asking if their family was happy, and how much money they had. This made several of them squirm.
Do you want to complete/finish your education?
All but 2 wanted to go back to school.
Do you want a career? If so, what?
All but the 2 that didn't want to go back to school wanted a career. These 2 stated they would be happy to stay at home and raise a family.
Why are you interested in seeing foriegners?
The unanimous answer to this was "security", with one stating "prestige, it is much desired to have foriegner boyfriend". Several others had similar answers.

On to dinner.

[9ball]

... in response to Lunch, posted by shadow on Mar 27, 2001

NOT!!!!
I believe some posters are second guessing shadows actions, just as he predicted. As stated in his first post this is a brief SUMMARY. I believe he tried not to make the same mistakes and started to recognize “red flags” and take action. Would someone, in the course of a conversation, NOT bring up subjects important to finding a match? I don’t know of a better way to get to know someone besides asking pertinent questions.
Yeah I feel sad for Choly with the insulting sister. Maybe she’ll learn not to bring her big sister along on her next date. Shadow, good on you for refusing to acknowledge her insults.
Beth…those that would go around texting instead of trying to carry on a real live conversation need a bit more maturing.
Shadow, the only fault I see in you is that you are too daRn NICE!!! But I hope you won’t lose faith and give up. Somewhere out there is a WOMAN deserving of your goodness.  

[kevin]

... in response to GESTAPO TACTICS..., posted by 9ball on Mar 27, 2001

Shadow needs alot of moral support.  It does rip his heart out, and yes, he feels demoralized.

It took guts for Shadow to stand up for himself.  Man about that woman who asked if he married her sister, she expected him to send a minimum amout per month.  Disgusting!  Typical gypsy with subversive values!  Yes, historically gypsy women have been very pretty, but their looks are a trap.  It's robbery through seduction, but not only that, it inflicts lifetime emotional, and spiritual damage as well as robbing one of his wealth and health.

I think it's high time that a message be sent to women, and this extends to women all over the world, that looks aren't always going to get you places.  It seems that the "gypsy fever" as it might be described has become ever more pervasive in the Philippines.

What I say may not be popular, but I HATE GOLDDIGGERS!  Every time I hear another story, at it's best it sobers me, at it's worst it riles me.  Too many guys getting burnt without justice.  If there were consequences to be suffered, at least this kind of activity would not flagrantly be encouraged and nurtured.  Perhaps a good punishment for this (after due process) would be a forced return to the Philippines and the social humiliation to be endured in the Philippines after having not made it in the United States.  Think of all the social humiliation Kano men that have been burnt have to live with every day (including ridicule and dessertion by relatives, and loss of friends).  These wounds are fresh on Shadow.

Shadow, you deserve to be commended for standing up for yourself.  Nobody has the right, anywhere in the world, to try to destroy you through seduction.

Shadow, you deserve to be happy.  Just don't give up.  Pray to God that you can make it through this tribulation in life, and that there is somebody out there for you.  What it boils down to is that you basically find a woman that truly values the same in a man as you do in a woman.  Requited love.

God bless,

Kevin

[greg]

... in response to Lunch, posted by shadow on Mar 27, 2001

from reading his latest posts. If you read Larry's past posts on Mag-Anak, you would see a good, honest, generous Gentleman(the same kinda man that you feel yourself to be). I don't blame him for being a cheapstake on his trip to RP, he's just as poor as those Pinays. Read his latest post about how he lost everything, how can a Man be generous if he really doesn't have much to offer?? He was just trying to be careful with the little $$$$$$'s he had available. It's toooo easy to speak bad of someone and not know the whole story. As the saying goes, anyone can be rich today and poor tomorrow. Don't speak bad of anyone until you have yourself walked in his shoes. Larry, I hope you continue to share your stories, don't feel discouraged. You have more friends on both Mag and PL than you may think. :-) greg

[outwest]

... in response to Easy for U Guys to speak Negative of Lar..., posted by greg on Mar 27, 2001

He did not really elaborate on his own situation, he was
though, casting judgments on the filipinas, like they
are all gold diggers, giving them "tests", like they were
not even people, just marks on a checklist, he gave
the one girl money who stayed at his hotel, as if she was
some kind of a parking attendant, or something, not once
did he talk of the girls personalities, their character,
etc, it was to me a very strange way of interacting with
the women, It was as if he was trying to talk or interview
as many woman as possible, and he just knew that each of them was a gold digger, and it was their job to prove him
wrong, It did not seem he was interested in them as a person. Look at the story of the girl with the demanding
sister,,,,,,,,,,,He immediately pronounced not only the sister a gold digger but the girl must be too, since she
is her sister,,,,,,To me the trip to the phils for him
seemed like one big ego trip, and bashing of filipnas.

[kevin]

... in response to well.., posted by outwest on Mar 27, 2001

I don't think any level-headed man (I'm referring to the big head, not the little one) would be comfortable with a woman arbritrarily asking him for money and things.  It's the little head that he's thinking with when he does yield to her whims just dismissing them (not using his big head correctly) as trivial.

Hey, I learned that lesson the hard way after my divorce.  I guess I was so eager to love and be loved again.  But it turns out the love was psuedo-love.  Indeed, it made me uncomfortable when we'd plan a date and my girlfriend would say, "So what are you going to bring me?" or "Can you bring me something"?  I was alarmed at such requests but she said she just had to prove to her folks that I was a "nice guy".  In reality, it turns out she had no regard for my well-being, given that regard for each other's well-being should be part of a healthy relationship.

Remember, it's the little head that makes men vulnerable.  Alot of women take advantage of that as a special kind of power.

- Kevin

[Dave H]

... in response to Re: well.., posted by kevin on Mar 27, 2001

"...Say you don't need no diamond ring and I'll be satisfied

Tell me that you want the kind of thing that money just can't buy

I don't care too much for money, money can't buy me love" (Lennon/McCartney)

It seems that should be another Asian Board theme song, along with the "Fish Head" song. ;o)) Too bad some of the ladies don't know it.

Dave H.

[kevin]

... in response to Can't Buy Me Love..., posted by Dave H on Mar 27, 2001

According to the Beatles Anthology, John Lennon said he would never return to the Philippines after the way he and the rest of the Fab were treated.  This was in 1966.  They were supposed to have lunch with Imelda, but either forgot, or had too conservative a perception of "Filipino time" (as if they didn't forget the commitment, they were too, too late).  Standing up the First Lady was regarded as a capital offense, and the Beatles were attacked afterwards on their way to the airport.

- Kevin

[Dave H]

... in response to Re: Can't Buy Me Love..., posted by kevin on Mar 27, 2001

Hi Kevin,

I think that Imelda should be nicknamed the "Millipede"...maybe "Milli" for short. How about "Imeldapede?" It takes a lot of feet to wear all of those shoes.

*$* How about that symbol for a gold digger? It looks like two heavily mascara covered eyes, starring at a dollar. It kind of reminds me of Tammy Faye Bakker or Jan Crouch. ;o))

Dave H.

[may10]

... in response to Re: Can't Buy Me Love..., posted by kevin on Mar 27, 2001

I may be wrong in this since I was much much younger then....but the story was re-told many times over as time went by.

Never really heard about the  "lunch"  with the former Frist Lady but what i heard was the "attitude" that the Beatles showed on their visit here.

They committed the worst faux pas ever one can commit in a Catholic country  (more so then in the 60s when Born Again and other religions,  Iglesia Ni Kristo, included were never heard of...).....

They said in one of their numerous interviews here (with awe and a little smug).......that they were more popular than Jesus Christ.   *s*

[outwest]

... in response to Lunch, posted by shadow on Mar 27, 2001

I agree with the other posters, your attitude is one
of...these girls are gold diggers, and I will show each
one of them she is one of them, one way or another.....
its almost as if they were interviewing for a job, you
did not once talk about thier personalities, their sense
of humor, nothing, your approach was a bit scary to me.

[tito]

... in response to Lunch, posted by shadow on Mar 27, 2001

Larry,

You reap what you sow.Sounds like you went over there trying to prove they are all like your ex.Maybe it was a little too soon since the bitter disappointment with the wife.This post about lunch and dinner proves my point.What a lousy way to go about meeting a women.Interviews,man!Jeez.
Honesty tests.You actually spent time devising the paying the bill plan?Did you think that up on the long ride out there?It almost seems like you went looking for golddiggers so you can believe what happened with Myrna was not any of your doing."Hey, they are all like that".I thought you were moving out there?How come you got interviews lined up with possible life partners instead of just chillin, enjoying the scenery and maybe having a casual GF or two?Even guys who only have two weeks there don't do the search like you did.What were you trying to accomplish with this lunch and dinner BS?A revolving door of lunch and dinner interviews.
I still believe,Larry,theres three fingers pointing back at you.A lousy attitude so you had a lousy trip.I don't think you were parinoid of golddiggers on the trip.Bitter is a better word.

I agree you have paid a terrible price in your desire for a Filipina wife.I really do feel for you.Only you know what is best for you now.Your right, I might find out I am not in Kansas anymore:)Too soon to really know.I am no expert in Filipinas but I do have some expertese in failed relationships and resentments.Stinkin thinkin.I hope if you ever do go back to the Philippines you will wait till you process some of your feelings.If you do go back I will be wishing you all the best.I hope you find peace and happiness.

tito

[The Mog]

... in response to Lunch, posted by shadow on Mar 27, 2001

Dude, Im wondering, why even bother to pursue these girls if you are so cheap?
Yeah, youre right sometimes the bargirls are the best ones. They have seen more and they understand men and money.
Heck, one of my bargirl friends even paid off my bill for me when I drank more drinks than I had money to pay for in the club.
I dont know, anytime you are dealing with women its going to cost you something. Unless you are a young male model type that can seduce some rich american sugar momma.
Dont be so cheap, youre hanging around with the most beautiful women in the world, what do you think that its going to be free? get a better job and lighten up

[kevin]

... in response to Re: Lunch, posted by The Mog on Mar 27, 2001

can not be bought or sold.  Sexual exchanges of varying shapes and forms can.

Think about this.  What about the married Pinoy couples in the Philippines, the old and the young, that have enduring, viable marriages.  One might say, "These poor women.  Their husbands are so cheap!".  Well, that's an absurd assumption.  They married for love and most likely remain poor.  But love is for the poorer as well as the richer if it's true love shared between one man and one woman.

When a man is reduced to being nothing more than a money provider, it's probably about as demeaning to a man as it is to a woman when a woman is reduced to a sex object.

My grandmother and my grandfather both died poor.  But my grandmother woulds have never traded my grandfather any day after 53 years of marriage.  That's an example of true love between one man and one woman so hard to find nowadays.

- Kevin

[Zebson]

... in response to True love . . ., posted by kevin on Mar 27, 2001

Kevin, Good post. Important words that need to be more fully grasped by many related here...much appreciated..Thanks..

Zeb