Help from the experienced

[KenB]

I have a question to ask the experts here for I am somewhat unfamiliar with this board. I have been connected with the Russian board and even traveled several times without any luck. I understand the difficulties in the roads we travel; the scammers and scam agencies. I am seriously thinking of going to China in October. I would of course like to meet people there and hopefully that special soulmate we all seek. I am very successful and good looking but my biggest problem with the opposite sex in my life has been my unrelenting shyness. I have been unable to cross that hurdle. I am of course very weary of AW with their alterior motives with regards to my success and their penchant for material goods. Down deep I am a simple man with a big kind heart with much love to give that special women. I have always liked oriental women. I've originally went the RW/UW path for I thought it would be an easier transition for them with their European looks but think I should go with my gut. What recommendations can this group make to me regarding appropriate agencies/steps in my endeavor. What are the pitfalls and cautions to be cognizant of. I thank you all in advance for your consideration and help in this matter.
KenB

[HaroldC]

... in response to Help from the experienced, posted by KenB on Aug 10, 2003

(Go ahead and shoot me down guys and gals.)

Shyness will not be at all out of place in Asia, even desirable since a main criticism of Americans is that they are too brash- but why aggravate the communication problem by courting women who do not speak English well?

From what I hear (from Chinese men!), Chinese women are VERY materialistic. (Confirm or deny, please, those who know firsthand.)

"I am a simple man with a big kind heart with much love to give that special women. I have always liked oriental women."- made to order for a Filipina.

Play down that you are rich or you will get 'too much' attention.

Just my two cents worth. Best of luck, Ken.

[Jeff S]

... in response to I'm no expert, but some observations ..., posted by HaroldC on Aug 10, 2003

There are over 650 million Chinese women on planet earth. You can find all sorts, from materialistic psyco-b!tches, to simple sweet, homebodies. Yes, Chinese men feel like their women push them to succeed, and many Chinese men resent it, but hey, who couldn't use a bit of a kick in the pants once in a while. As Mita said, Chinese men aren't exactly the world's best husbands either, though with 650+ million of them, there has to be a few nice guys in the mix.

I've founf the most successful approach in in my travels in Asia is to familiarize myself with local customs of manners and politeness. Even though there's no way anyone wouldn't know at a glance I'm an American, many people in Asia tell me I don't "seem" American to them. The truth is that typical Americans are spotted for their behaviour, not their appearance. Why? Manners. Know before you go. Want to make an impression? - Manners.

As for flaunting your money or wealth, it sounds to me like that's the quickest way I can think of to attract golddiggers. I suggest you go back and read Febtember's story. Her husband advertised himself as a farm laborer, and all her friends thought she was nuts - why not pick a doctor? It's a great story.

You can find a simple and sweet stand-by-your-man woman anywhere and likewise, a high maintenance psyco-b!tch anywhere.

I also don't believe that not being fluent in each other's language is that big of a hurdle either. You'll find the cultural differences enormous, whether she speaks your language or not. I found, early on, that we resorted to dictionaries in some of our heated moments. The natural slow-down of the conversation tended to defuse volatle situations that might have gotten a lot worse had we assumed we knew what each other were saying. Of course, it's better if you speak each other's language, it's just that there's SO much that you'll not understand about each other, adding language to the mix doesn't make or break the deal IMNSHO.

- Jeff S.

[HaroldC]

... in response to Re: I'm no expert, but some observations..., posted by Jeff S on Aug 11, 2003

nt

[Mita]

... in response to I'm no expert, but some observations ..., posted by HaroldC on Aug 10, 2003

I don't find the Chinese shy.  I've worked with a lot of Chinese when I was connected with a Singapore based firm.  They are in fact, sociable, adventurous and wonderfully animated and entertaining.  The Chinese are almost like the Italians of America.
I've heard the same said about Chinese women too - from Chinese men.  Then again, Chinese men play around (wine, women and song, AND gambling) so much that their women must have been "pre-programmed" to be that way.

[HaroldC]

... in response to Re: I'm no expert, but some observations..., posted by Mita on Aug 10, 2003

nt