Women of other Asian countries (LONG)

[juio99]

... in response to I have to disagree., posted by Jeff S on Jan 13, 2003

Jeff, I realize that since you have found a very good Japanese wife, you could hardly post otherwise.

On the other hand, I have no bone to pick with any nationality, nor any need to defend any nationality.

I fully stick by my post.  No where will you find a more materialistic person than a young Japanese woman.

JR

[Bob S]

... in response to Re: I have to disagree., posted by juio99 on Jan 13, 2003

"No where will you find a more materialistic person than a young Japanese woman."

In certain parts of Tokyo and other major metropolitan areas, that is certainly true.  However, there is good (if somewhat sad) reason.  Japanese have a very strong work ethic, so from their teen years they often hold part-time jobs even if it's just handing out tissue-pack advertisements on the streets.  And as they get older, of course they get better jobs with better pay.  But the young adults, even into their early 30's, really have little or no expenses.  They live with their parents who provide room and board and wouldn't think of charging their adult wage-earner children any rent.  There is even a term for these people: Parasite-Singles.  So almost all of their 5-figure incomes is discretionary money for shopping, travel, and nice vacations.  It's a pretty sweet set-up for immature J-Yuppies facing a contracting economy and fearful of the responsibilities of marriage.  (As outside observers, we kinda get a kick out of ridiculing the 30-something guys still living with mommy.)  AND that semi-affluent lifestyle does set up expectations that are hard to compete with.

But there is still a major benefit to finding a spouse from an aflluent country like Japan (or Hong Kong).  You can be sure that however she is at home is how she is going to be when she gets to America with you.  No sudden surprise transformation from careful penny-pinching shopper to mad spendthrift when suddenly exposed to the massive wealth of The West as I have read about often happening to many a Filippina or RW.  So if you meet a woman who is careful and sensible with her money here, odds are she will be the same back in North America (assuming you can convince her to marry you and move to wherever you live).

Which brings us to another point.  What are the chances of finding a woman willing to marry a gaijin here?  Not as bad as some make it out, that is if you don't go too young.  Women here like anyplace else have a biological clock ticking loudly in their ears.  But where can they find a husband?  Not from the Japanese men.  They are comfortable living with mommy who cooks for them and does their laundry.  If they want sex, they got a girlfriend and go to a love hotel.  No girlfriend? No problem.  Phone club prostitutes (usually teenagers looking to earn a little spending money) are readily available.  So for a late 20-something to 30-something husband-hunting Japanese woman, a gaijin trophy husband can often make for a nice second option.  But you will have to be realistic about finding someone close to your own age.  They are not necessarily beggars here, so they can be chosers.  You can't come to this country with fantasy dreams of marrying some young hot piece of village-girl tail like you can in other nearby countries.

[NK]

... in response to Re: Women of other Asian countries (LONG..., posted by juio99 on Jan 11, 2003

[This message has been edited by NK]

JR,

You bring up some interesting, important and relevant  points for consideration and now I'll address some of them to clarify things a bit. To address one of the first points you brought up (slightly edited):

"...the primary driving force for the women from the three major areas that men are
investigating re this venture: Eastern Europe, Latin America, and Asia. That force is economic conditions in the homeland...you have chosen a rough road to hoe by focusing on Japan and Taiwan because they are two of
the most economically advanced areas in Asia and the economic force driving the women to look will not be very strong. In fact, I would say the desire on the part of Japanese women will be about the lowest you could expect to find."

If you go back and re-read what I said above, you'll notice I stated that my decision to focus primarily on Taiwan and Japan has more to do with the availability of teaching opportunities there, than availability of single women. This for me is secondary, but if there's any chance at all that I might be able to meet some -- and I have other evidence in addition to the few of the other guys on this board that would suggest it isn't as difficult as you might think -- well why not take advantage of the opportunity to seek them out when I have it? As the old saying goes, "Nothing ventured, nothing gained."

Of course, this is self evident and I'm very well aware of that and make no mistake; I knew this would probably make things that little bit trickier at first, and if finding a wife were my sole objective, well of course I wouldn't be looking in those countries, at least not exclusively. But here's something else to consider that not to many people may have thought of: As much as good economic conditions can a present a disadvantage in looking for a woman, I would argue that this very same factor can also be a plus in the long run. Allow me to explain: Let's say one does find a woman from a generally more economically prosperous country where a "bride market" industry is therefore pretty much nonexistent. Well I'd say this gives you the peace of mind to know she is more likely to be marrying for the right reasons and because she loves the man for who he is, not just because he's her ticket out of an impoverished country. The risk of her being one of those "green card" sharks who drops her husband like a hot potato first chance she gets is considerably lessened in this context. Now I want to make abundantly clear that in NO WAY do I mean to imply that all women from the PI, FSU, Colombia etc. and other "bridal basket" countries who seek husbands abroad are all green card sharks who marry for purely selfish economic reasons. Indeed, there are many, many success stories of men who married women from these countries (here and on the other two boards) with both partners have found lasting love and happiness with each other. My point is that the risk of this happening is considerably less when the lady is not from an economically disadvantaged country. Another advantage a more economically prosperous country offers is consistency. The number of available women may be considerably smaller, but at least then you know that this number isn't likely to change all that much from year to year. You are also not competing with hordes of other Western men for - often quite literally - the same woman. Sure one country may have a thriving MOB "industry" today, (I really hate that term btw for what it implies) but I don't think you should take it for granted that it will ALWAYS exist. As history has shown, even the worst economic conditions can improve and with that one can expect the number of women looking for husbands overseas to decrease proportionally -- could be very much a "here today, gone tommorow" kind of phenomenon. Though the situation has remained pretty much the same in the PI for the last nearly 30 years, it's not indicative of the way things will be everywhere. FSU brides have only been available for just over a decade now, and if the economy of the rest of Eastern Europe.

[NK]

... in response to Re: Re: Women of other Asian countries (..., posted by NK on Jan 12, 2003

...the rest of that should have read, "if the economies of Eastern Europe are any indicator, then the FSU ones won't be around much longer either. Or at least they won't be as numerous.

[NK]

... in response to Re: Re: Women of other Asian countries (..., posted by NK on Jan 12, 2003

My message above was longer when I submitted it. Maybe it's my browser, but about two thirds of the origninal message appear cut off now. I can only see two paragraphs.

I'll try again later.

[Jeff S]

... in response to Women of other Asian countries (LONG), posted by NK on Jan 11, 2003

You have to be a little careful when you say "all" around here. The Asian sweetie site http://www.geocities.com/jeffsatpl/ are all posters here and it has people from FIVE different Asian countries. Admittedly there are more Filipinas than any other nationality, but there are plenty of non Filipinas. Here's a post I wrote a while back:

http://www.planet-love.com/wwwboard/search/searchdisplay.php?page=asian&archive=000050&id=18662

I know for a fact that at least three of the regulars here are married to or are seeking a Japanese wife also. Bob S is one who after not having much luck bringing a Russian bride here, is now in Japan doinng exactly what you are interested in, teaching English in Japan. I suspect he will post shortly so I'll let hime tell his own story.

As for me, I've been traveling to Japan from 2 to 8 weeks a year since 1977, I speak the language, have studied the history and culture, and am married to a wonderful Japanese lady. Bob would be a better source for what it's really like living and working there. In my case, on business or visiting family and friends in Japan, I tend to get the royal treatment, so can tell you all about Japan on an big budget, but little about what you'd expect teaching English. I'm happy to pass on what I know though. my e-mail is jspira@gte.net.

Traditional Japanese women make great wives. They're loyal to a fault and have a gentle, persuasive nature that can melt your heart. When I describe some of the details of my relationship with my wife with my friends they all think i'm lying, and it usually degrades into a b!tch session about how badly their own wives treat them.

My wife is from a very good family and is a city person, familiar with the arts, fashion, business, international politics, cuisines, etc. so her adaptation to my lifestyle in a nice coastal suburban neighborhood in Southern California was mostly a cultural and an issue of language. In fact, at first she considered here hicksville, but has since become acclimated to the differences. I could go on for hours, but....

Anyway, here are some links you may find interesting:
http://www.jobsinjapan.com/
http://www.tokyoconnections.com/
http://www2b.biglobe.ne.jp/~shohei/index.htm
http://www3.tky.3web.ne.jp/~edjacob/intro.htm

Best of luck and drop me an e-mail if you like.

- Jeff S.

[Mita]

... in response to Women of other Asian countries (LONG), posted by NK on Jan 11, 2003

My husband lived in Japan for three years and has mentioned that opportunities for English teachers seem to be good there.  
Singapore is experiencing an economic slump right now and you may find opportunities more difficult to find.  I don't know about other Asian countries.  Japan seems to be doing well.
I met an American English teacher on a flight from Singapore to Bangkok years ago.  He was young, unattached and said he had a marvelous time discovering Asia, especially Thailand.
Good luck on this adventure you are thinking of undertaking.  I do advise you not to look actively for a wife, the right woman will come to you, just give it time and enjoy yourself while waiting.