... in response to Hi Mars!!! Whats Your Take On Chinese La..., posted by greg on Dec 8, 2002it was lots of questions, looking for someone who really wasn't looking for someone (but interested), not being afraid to say what you mean (and meaning what you say), detailing your expectations and finding out theirs, and finally lots of prayers (many together).
I think some guys are just too niave and don't take into account that poverty can make people do things their religion will object too, so you have to challenge them on expectations (yours and theirs) more than once. I can guarantee you that they will not take offense to it (unless they are not the type of woman you don't want to be married to) and more likely will admire and respect you for it.
I know some on these board get upset when I say it but Filipinas do not want to be married to wimps but still expect to be first in knowing all about everything happening in your ('your' being the family's-cause you are the head of the family) life. It sounds like a contradiction, but its not. Note that they say they want "simple" lives being that they prefer structured lifestyles with old-fashion values over the wild "liberated" style of AW's. It does not mean being a rough and tough, abusive and bossey type of husband but one who has a plan, discusses it with her and then holds everyone to it.
Turn a Filipina lose to be americanized (no structure from you) and she will make AW's look very compassionate and selfless (as if that's posible). My "don't be a wimp" I mean make decisions, with her advice and council (if she wants to give it after you discuss it with her cause there is a good chance she won't) and then follow through. Act as a family and be a man - can't lose preposition.
Now all of this assumes you know how to woo and court her as well. Still got to say the cutsey things (and mean them), buy flowers and candies, compliment her sincerely and have some kind of dream and plan in life that they can identify with an picture themself as a part of.
I am so proud of my wife. I saw her take hell from her family. We had discussed our finacial expectations so when they expected her to allow them to use me, she wouldn't do it. Who knows what would have happened if we hadn't discussed those expectations. She might have chose the "good daughter" route and listened to her parents because I wasn't strong enough to say no, treat her with respect by discussing it with her and then following through. The same in her defense on the college financial abuse issue. Simple, discussed, goals set in place, follow through.
Bear and Honey
