Adapting to a new culture

[Cecil]

I thought I would share the comments of a filipina about her auntie's penpal from Australia.  I told the lady that her auntie must have been pleased to finally meet her penpal.  She said that unfortunately the meeting was a disappointment.  She said that the guy stayed mostly by himself and he did not make any effort to mingle with her family members.  Her auntie was use to his mannerisms but he did not appear to want to be a part of their lifestyle.  She said that he would eat his food in front of the family but he never offered to share his meal with them.  She said that it wasn't that they were hungry but it is customary apparently in their culture to offer these things to others.  He also did not bring any presents to her auntie.  She said that it wasn't that they wanted gifts but this is a gesture of consideration to the auntie and her family.  The auntie appears to still like him but with the family against him his chances are slim to none and slim is not in town.  She said that she hopes that if I come to see her that I will make an effort to know their ways and adapt to their lifestyle.  As she puts it, she wants me to be loved by her family which is so much a part of her life.

Cecil

[Ambi]

... in response to Adapting to a new culture, posted by Cecil on Feb 18, 2001

if you want to impress her family, there are some protocol one must follow, otherwise once the family disapprove..that's it.  Like you said, it is essential to bring a small gift when visiting her family the first time.  It doesn't have to be expensive, if can be a toaster or something useful for the house (please don't bring wine, most asian family don't drink that much).  Even if you're invited to sit down and have dinner, do NOT attempt to eat unless ALL members are at the table, you wait.  Attempt to sample all the dishes even if you have to discretely hide them in your napkins.  Learning to say Hi , how are you in the native tongue will sure to impress, even if they start to laugh at your accent, it's a good sign.