Looks like I'm sending her home

[Frank O]

Or she's going home. There was a LOT more involved than what I mentioned guys, I'm sure you all realize that. Mostly ignoring red flags etc. I'm going to have to post more in detail AFTER she leaves IF she leaves. I'm REALLY STILL trying to make it work but it takes 2. As for sex, non existant at this point. Lot's a stuff to say but not enough time. This will be a REAL eye opener perhaps for many but for most of you you guys probably saw it coming like Jack did & told me. I simply went full bore head on. Since I was married I put a whole lot more effort than if it had been a K1. I would have bailed when I found out she lied about smoking.
Anyways I'll keep you guys posted & thanks to ALL of you regardless if you were rooting for or against me. Sad part is I REALLY DO LOVE this girl. It just appears WHO I married is NOT who she really IS or WAS.

[Travis]

... in response to Looks like I'm sending her home, posted by Frank O on May 22, 2005

I'm sorry, I wanted the best for you! I wanted better for you than I had. Chin up, you will get what you deserve!

[Globetrotter]

... in response to Looks like I'm sending her home, posted by Frank O on May 22, 2005

Frank, I think everyone here has always been rooting for you
as you have posted so much about your journey.  Tough choice, but maybe in the end, the only thing to do.  How's that go.....it doesn't matter what happens to you, what does matter is what you do about it.

Also, maybe at cost to you, is a lesson for others in that a K1 beats hell out of a K3 any day.

No matter which way it turns out, I think you'll do just fine.

[Frank O]

... in response to Re: Looks like I'm sending her home, posted by Globetrotter on May 23, 2005

NT

[Streetwise]

... in response to Looks like I'm sending her home, posted by Frank O on May 22, 2005

Frank, I just read your post again and it sounds from what you are saying that she has revealed a new side of herself which is not too pleasant, and that her previous behaviour seems to have been just a performance. If that is correct, then my previous post clearly does not apply. I have been on the receiving end of emotional deception myself and the advice I was given was to cut my losses and get out quick. Wasn't easy at the time but in hindsight I am very glad I took that advice. If you buy her air ticket home you will have done more than duty requires under the circumstances.

[Patrick]

... in response to Looks like I'm sending her home, posted by Frank O on May 22, 2005

I think you're making the right decision.  Too many men bury their heads in the sand when facing something like this.  You're facing up to the truth (and pain) and moving forward. That's the better decision for the long run.

Thanks for sharing what must be a very painful experience.

[wsbill]

... in response to Looks like I'm sending her home, posted by Frank O on May 22, 2005

It's way cheaper now to be finding this stuff out, verses having her live here 6 months and having you pay out the wazoo.

I like Rostic suggestion when I was over there.  Rent a apartment for about a month and do a dry run of marriage with the girl.  Probably way cheaper and you won't have invested 2 years or a year on wishful thinking.

[Streetwise]

... in response to Looks like I'm sending her home, posted by Frank O on May 22, 2005

Hey Frank, sorry to hear about the problems, I followed your story from a while back and you have put a lot into this. It sounds to me that the huge step she has just taken has proved to be a shock to the system, and probably she feels lonely and cut off from her previous world. Are you spending time with her, at home? Is she getting to know other people, are you introducing her to your social circle? Bringing her over to the States on a permanent basis, if she hadn't been away from home much before, was always going to be a shock to the system; she probably felt the door slam behind her and got scared. Always better to have a taste of foreign shores for a few weeks before the big commitment. My suggestion now, if things don't pick up, is to book a flight for her to return home in a couple of weeks, so she can get her head together for a while and come back later. There are two things which might happen then; firstly, she will immeiately cheer up and you might have a different girl on your hands for the next couple of weeks; she might even be reluctant to leave when the time comes. The other is that if she does go back, within a very short time she will be crying out to come back to the states, partly because she will have had a chance to get things into perspective and partly because she will have had the reassurance that there is nothing preventing her from hopping back home once in a while. It's all a matter of perception. By the way, how deep are your pockets? I realise that my suggestion is not the most economical, sorry about that.

[Streetwise]

... in response to Looks like I'm sending her home, posted by Frank O on May 22, 2005

[This message has been edited by Streetwise]

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