Having a bad day are you.

[Jack]

You know, I see a few guys a little down in the dumps here lately and just want to say, "Guys, keep your chin up, it could be worse".

Streetwise,.....Well, my relationship with the young lady from Latvia has finally come to an end.

Alfred,.....The state of New York has cracked down on illegal imports of dairy products.

Travis,....How long does the transition take? My best guess is 11 hours. This I think is about how long a bad marriage between an AM and a RW takes to go from love to utter HATE. She will ultimately be in jail and eventually burn in hell!

Streetwise, A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.

Alfred, Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs  to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly. The two protesters were trampled to death.

And Travis, you think you got it bad, Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb,  he opened it and was blown to bits.

There now, you guys feeling a little better?

[Travis]

... in response to Having a bad day are you., posted by Jack on Jun 12, 2003

I'm workin on a bad year!!! Though I suspect by the end of Summer it will be getting a lot better. Remember the oldest Russian saying there is...regarding how to serve certain dishes :-)

[Streetwise]

... in response to Having a bad day are you., posted by Jack on Jun 12, 2003

A rather well-built lady entered the doctor's surgery one morning, complaining of "wind problems."

"It's absolutely dreadful" she said, "I have no control whatsoever, it's really embarrassing. The only consolation is that it is always silent and odourless; for example, I have let rip at least 20 times since I came into this room, and nobody has even noticed."

The doctor paused to think for a moment, then reached for his prescription book and began writing. "I want you to take one of these every day" he said, handing her the note, "And then come back and see me in one week."

A week later, the lady re-appeared in the surgery. "So, how are you doing?" asked the doctor.
"Not well at all" replied the woman, "I still suffer from terrible wind, but now it's even worse, now the odour os absolutely awful."  

"Right" said the doctor, reaching for his prescription book once more. "Now that we've cleared your sinuses, we'll get to work on your hearing."

[Cold Warrior]

... in response to Having a bad day are you., posted by Jack on Jun 12, 2003

40-ish.................. 49 or over

 Adventurer.............. Has had more partners than you ever will

 Athletic................ Flat-chested

 Average looking......... Ugly

 Beautiful............... Pathological liar

 Contagious Smile........ Bring your penicillin

 Educated................ College dropout

 Emotionally Secure...... Medicated

 Free spirit............. Substance user

 Friendship first........ Trying to live down reputation as sl*t

 Fun..................... Annoying

 Gentle.................. Comatose

 Good Listener........... Borderline Autistic

 Intellectual.............Arrogant

 New-Age................. All body hair, all the time

 Old-fashioned........... Lights out, missionary position only

 Open-minded............. Desperate

 Outgoing................ Loud

 Passionate.............. Loud

 Poet.................... Depressive Schizophrenic

 Professional............ Real Witch

 Redhead................. Shops the Clairol section

 Reubenesque............. Grossly Fat

 Romantic................ Looks better by candle light

 Voluptuous.............. Very Fat

 Wants Soulmate.......... One step away from stalking

 Widow................... Nagged first husband to death

 Young at heart.......... Toothless old crone

[Scaught]

... in response to AW personal ad, posted by Cold Warrior on Jun 12, 2003

n/t

[Alfred]

... in response to Having a bad day are you., posted by Jack on Jun 12, 2003

[This message has been edited by Alfred]

point taken, Jack.