Financial issues with your RW/UW?

[Dan]

... in response to Re: Enough is Enough., posted by Charles on Oct 16, 2002

n/t

[Dan]

... in response to Dan, you wrote: , posted by MtMav on Oct 16, 2002

I admit my 'tone' with Mark is a bit harsh.

- Dan

[MtMav]

... in response to Yeah - Possibly . . ., posted by Dan on Oct 16, 2002

Dan,
    Your admission gains my respect. Just let your battle with Mark go..........

[joe]

... in response to Re: Yeah - Possibly . . ., posted by MtMav on Oct 16, 2002

can I have a heapin' of that respect?
Joe

[MarkInTx]

... in response to Squelch Away . . ., posted by Dan on Oct 16, 2002

I did not find anything objectionable in your post here, for the record.

You raise a valid point.

I protected my income level because I wanted to make sure that someone was not coming here just because she thought I was a millionare. I am not. I do, however, make a good living. If I hadn't paid for two divorces, and lost a ton in the dot.bomb explosion, I would probably be very well off.

As it is, I get by OK, but am hardly rich.

Even if I were rich, I would not have wanted anyone to know it.

But you are right in that there comes a time when the guard needs to come down.

Sometimes we get into "relationship habits" that are hard to break.

When to "break the silence" is a good question... And a valid one.

[JohnL]

... in response to I can't say for sure, posted by MarkInTx on Oct 16, 2002

that is the most thoughtful Post you have made for a long time. I say this, because it is one of the major issues (as I see it) in 'moving' any Lady from any enviromnment/system to another. I appreciate the thought in the post. It is encouraging to say the least. Well for any 'Kid' looking down the same road.

As for Vaughn's comment in the follow up .....
For ex: are they still Marxian or do they follow; Keynes, Smith, von Misses etc.

Vaughn, I feel that if they ever learnt of the facts that Keynes the 'New World' Economist and *Saviour* of the world's Ecomnomic woes, spent most of his spare time in bed with young Boys during his time of influence, what would they think of the 'Free Market Economy' ? Just the same as I do of his Economic Theorie's? God help those that follow his Theory!

Just my 2 Bucks worth, and some one has torn my Buck in halves and lost the other half, not my doings either.
John

[BURKE89]

... in response to Thank You Mark ......., posted by JohnL on Oct 16, 2002

legion and his economic theories were just as tawdry.

Your comments, made me reflect on a book I'd read years ago (Paul Johnson - Intellectuals - Harper & Row, 1988). In it, he disected some of the "greatest" minds on the last three centuries(Rousseau, Shelly, Marx, Ibsen, Tolstoy, Brecht, Satre, etc.). The book ties into your statement, well... from the front jacket:

...How do they apply their public principles to their private lives? ... How do they treat their spouses and chidren - legitimate and illegitimate? How loyal are they to their friends?... What is their attitude toward money?...

The contradictory theme had me turning pages, like a dime-store novel. I would highly recommend it( I've seen the pb version at major chains), if only for his unique approach to these "giants."

Cheers,

Vaughn

[Quasimoto]

... in response to Keynes sexual proclivities were..., posted by BURKE89 on Oct 16, 2002

I think I will get this book! I will never forget what I have read about William Godwin and his view on marriage. Boy would he have a good laugh at us. He also appeared to be somehwhat deviant sexually, at least in the area of responsibility. A deist, he espoused Utopianism without government or social contraint. Then there was that time when Percy Shelley came along and wooed his 17 year old daughter, Mary. Suddenly he was a contradiction of values. There was nothing wrong when he exhibited this sexual behavior with young girls, married ladies, et al, but when it came to his daughter, his double standards arose. Of course the family mess continued, as Percy Shelley's wife commited suicide over his involvment with Mary. Anyway, Godwin exhibited the double standards of many intellectuals.

Have things changed at all?

Steve

[BURKE89]

... in response to Re: Keynes sexual proclivities were..., posted by Quasimoto on Oct 17, 2002

Steve,

I'm not familiar with this gent, who is he?

Vaughn

[Quasimoto]

... in response to William Godwin?, posted by BURKE89 on Oct 17, 2002

His daughter Mary Godwin became Mary Shelley, who wrote Frankenstein. He was a English Utopian theorist who did not believe in organized government, or the institution of marriage. He wrote a few books, was a liberal miniter who did not believe in Biblical teachings (equivalent of Unitarians today I would think, a deist who believed in an unidentified power). He was quite famous in the later 18th Century in England. There were a lot Utopian theorists at that time, especially in England, and to some extent in France. Of course the Marquis de Sade lived around the same time. Because the institution of marriage was thought outdated, there was a certain frivulous attitude among them toward sex. He had a insestual attitude toward his daughter, Mary, who then wrote about it, or referenced it in several of her books. I do not know if their relations ever went to the point of actual insest, but at least Mary says he harbored this attitude. Her teen years and beyond were quite troubled by her father's nature. Kind of a love/hate relationship at times.

[MarkInTx]

... in response to Thank You Mark ......., posted by JohnL on Oct 16, 2002

The most thoughtful post?

Wow... more than my post about Artificial Breasts? ;-)

[Oscar]

... in response to Financial issues with your RW/UW?, posted by BURKE89 on Oct 15, 2002

I'm not married yet but I have discussed finances (especially budgeting and credit cards, etc.) with my girl in great detail.  She has been very willing and open to it.  I think that to not discuss these issues before marrying would be a huge mistake..  Just as it would be crazy (in my opinion) not to discuss the raising of children, sex, expected roles of husbands and wives, in-laws, how often she would be expecting to visit home, religion, etc..  I am continually surprised at how often guys don't have a clue about how their girl feels about many of these issues!  They are a hottie, are great in the sack, and that seems to be good enough for them...  That's really scary to me..
I don't see any reason not to discuss these things early on..  If the girl is into you and is sincere, she'll be open to it..  Again, my opinion.  Some of the married guys could certainly give much more detailed accounts of their experiences..

[BURKE89]

... in response to Re: Financial issues with your RW/UW?, posted by Oscar on Oct 15, 2002

Oscar,
I agree with you on the other issues. I don't have any problems bringing these up, nor will I in person. $ is a different animal; how did you initiate this one?
Vaughn

[Oscar]

... in response to Re: Re: Financial issues with your RW/UW..., posted by BURKE89 on Oct 15, 2002

I told her I felt that having common goals were important in a marriage and asked her how she felt about saving and spending, this opened the door quite easily.  My girl has a child so I spoke about how it would be important to plan for his future togther and that's all it took.  It also helps that she has been very responsible with her money.  The girl won't even let me pay for her English lessons, says that it's "no problem".!  I always ask her if she needs any money and she always tells me no, that she's fine.  I think that a woman who can be careful and save THERE will be able to do fine HERE, and if a woman spends everything there, I feel it is probably likely she will continue to do so here.  Just my opinion of course..

[KenC]

... in response to Financial issues with your RW/UW?, posted by BURKE89 on Oct 15, 2002

Vaughn,
Nothing you can write or say can prepare your future Mrs. like being here will.  She will go through a period of total bewilderment at first.  Don't be surprised if she shows true negativity towards out capitalistic nature.  Time will soften her viewpoint.  More time will help jer understand how things work here.
-
After 3 1/2 years here, Lena has caught on to the things you speak of and more.  She explained to me the upside of the appreciation on the new house we are buying.  She knows that the area is prime and the prices will skyrocket. She even sees the humor when I call her "my 401K."  LOL
KenC