Financial issues with your RW/UW?

[BURKE89]

... in response to You are forgiven my brother! n.t, posted by joe on Oct 17, 2002

your new pulpit reside? Be it, north or south, your message will ring true. It's this O.C., that's the hardest to convert. My furious campaign, on your behalf, is meeting stiff resistance.

Might, you give guidance?

Vau.. Opps... Marcuse

[KenC]

... in response to OK... was that a typo, a clever pun, or ..., posted by MarkInTx on Oct 17, 2002

n/t

[thesearch]

... in response to Financial issues with your RW/UW?, posted by BURKE89 on Oct 15, 2002

Not having brought a lady here, I can not speak from that perspective however, I personally used the tactic of telling the lady that I went to see twice that my finances were less then they are. IMHO it is better to tone down this topic - this way, there can not be disappointments.

Some guys might have a tendency to not discuss it but display behavior that can be misleading. When a guy finds a lady that he really likes, he can get into that mode of wanting to impress her. Again, IMHO one should try to win her with your personality and not with anything to do with finances. The way I see it you are more likely to get the lady who is right for you if you approach it this way.

[Stan]

... in response to Financial issues with your RW/UW?, posted by BURKE89 on Oct 15, 2002

Just my 2 cents,,
I always explained my financial status before Tanya even came here, so she wasn't in too much shock when she realized that America doesn't mean Santa Barbera. I am lucky as she is one of the "conservative" FSU women,, not the "Gold Diggers". She learned quick about sales and coupons and now that she is working wants all her $$$ to go to lowering what little household debt there is. Life is good and I had to laugh about standing in the woman's dept. explaining bra sizes to the most beautiful woman in the store,,,, been there  
Steve

[Charles]

... in response to Financial issues with your RW/UW?, posted by BURKE89 on Oct 15, 2002

I certainly think finances should be discussed. My experience is that RW are extremely careful with their money.  When my wife and I go out I always see her looking for the most inexpensive item on the menu.  I have to remind her there's more to eat than just the appetizers!  On the other hand, I heard the "gold digger" stereotype enough to make sure that we had a clear understanding on finances before she arrived, which I think is prudent in any marriage, whether American or Russian.

[Ken W]

... in response to Financial issues with your RW/UW?, posted by BURKE89 on Oct 15, 2002

One thing any ordinary Russian knows how to do is live on a budget. My wife supported herself and her brother on the equivalent of $30 per month. That ain't easy. Lena picked up the basics of household finance within a year, and now SHE handles all of the bills - it's actually great practice. The first job she landed in the US was the Gap. They have a great discount for employees, and needless to say, there is a Gap tag on practically everything I own. Lena shops at 4 different grocery stores for best prices. Since she came to the US, I/we are actually doing BETTER than before - heh

She can squeeze a nickle hard enough to make Jefferson squeal. It's pathological.

In september she started her assosiates degree in...well...accounting! Big fun for us both, I assure you. If you think making a Russian understand a checkbook is hard, try explaining "accumulated depreciation" and "asset accrual."

One thing is changing recently, however. Now, with 5 hours of homework per night, there is a definite paucity of homemade bread and pelimeni. Now it's "I'm tired, will you pick up a pizza on your way home?"

Trading money for time, the American way learned at last. Franklin would be proud

Several years ago Dan emailed me an excellent translation of a document explaining how finances work here and what to expect. Should be required reading for ANY immigrant.

[BURKE89]

... in response to Well..., posted by Ken W on Oct 16, 2002

Jefferson squeallin' eh... It seems a lot of gents around here, have acquired some fiscally sane partners.
Thanks,
Vaughn

[Marty]

... in response to Financial issues with your RW/UW?, posted by BURKE89 on Oct 15, 2002

I was very careful to repeatedly address the money issue with Larisa in almost all our correspondence.  Two things concerned me mainly; one, the fact that the only reference she had about life in America was Hollywood and her books (and she'd be coming to Nebraska which isn't much different, economically, from Ukraine), and two, being a cattle rancher, in Nebraska, there is no money for unnecessary spending.  
But she pretty much defined our roles with money in that she won't touch it, it's my job 100%.  She won't even carry it unless I specify that she may need it in an emergency.  She won't buy anything without my approval or my paying for it.  I handle everything concerning finances.  If we go shopping and she likes this, and this, and this (she is a woman, no?), it's my position to say no or yes and she abides with that without complaint.  What's the downside to this?  I don't get presents for birthday or Christmas (she does knock herself out cooking extravagant meals) and I have to be there for each and every purchase and explain why this is $40 off the marked price not $40, and why this toothpaste is no good because it tastes like bubblegum.  These are not big complaints, just something to consider.  Also, my plan of turning her loose in the womens dept while I go to sporting goods didn't fly either.  WE go to the womens dept together and after a period of that I'm usually too tired to go have my fun.
Something that you may not have thought about is the language barrier when shopping (Larisa didn't know any English when she got here).  When we go to the cosmetics dept I now know what some of the stuff is, which brands (of anything) are better, I've had to explain why 'these' feminine hygiene products are for women with really big butts, how to read the bra sizes, and try to explain the American measuring system compared to her metric sizes.  We are now expecting our first child (for both of us) and I have had to become the expert in birth and all the baby products.  

On the plus side I get to spend an enormous amount of time with my wife.

[wsbill]

... in response to Re: Financial issues with your RW/UW?, posted by Marty on Oct 16, 2002

The 'Colgate' Bubble gum tasting toothpaste is just like the Crest stuff...  Read the directions, it's all Sodium Floride that your after.  Just don't swallow it.

[Ramblin]

... in response to Financial issues with your RW/UW?, posted by BURKE89 on Oct 15, 2002

Good question Vaugn.  I have been thinking a little bit about the subject myself because although I'm not married, I'm about to be.  I figure when she says, "Buy me this or that!"  I will say, "Sorry, Sweetheart, we can't afford it."  And she will say, "Why not?"  And I will say, "Because I need to spend money on the house payment, the gas, electric, water, telephone, computer, and grocery bill, your education, and still save to get you a new car."  I figure that will work fine until she gets a job.  After she starts making the same or more than me, that is when the real fun will start on the money issues.  I'm just glad that she is not the typical American lady that has the attitude of "What's yours is mine and what's mine is mine."  On the other hand, I'm not even jokingly expecting her to be my 401K as Ken so humorously put it because she wants to have a lot of kids and I'm sure they will be a very high priority financially.

[MarkInTx]

... in response to Financial issues with your RW/UW?, posted by BURKE89 on Oct 15, 2002

You said that you only wanted married men, so maybe you will want to discard my response...

I have discussed budgets with Victoria.

I had her make up a budget of her expenses in Kherson. I send her cash every month, but it is all based upon the budget.

Of course, she has a higher degree in Economics (the equivalent of an MBA) so she's a quick study.

I have NOT ever told her how much I make. She wouldn't completely get it. I mean, yes, it is (in her terms) a lot of money, but I also have a car payment, house payment, taxes, etc... all of which are out of this world for her as well.

I have read the advice to "Never give her control of your checkbook" but I don't know how closely I'm going to follow that one. I'm horrible at details like entering checks and reconciling accounts, so I'm looking forward to some help with this. Might as well put that MB to work :-)

But we have discussed the basics of how things work here. I just don't think she can fully comprehend it until she has lived her for awhile, though.

She still thinks that $3.00 for a cab ride it outrageous!

[BURKE89]

... in response to FWIW, posted by MarkInTx on Oct 15, 2002

I didn't ask for "only" married men. Yet, have you explained these extraneous (sp) issues with her. Gross income vs. all the people taking their portion of our monetary "pie"?

I'd be fascinated, to learn of her economic studies; if only to get a gist of the economic tracts in FSU universities. For ex: are they still Marxian or do they follow; Keynes, Smith, von Misses etc.

I too, need help with my checkbook!

Cheers,

Vaughn

[Patrick]

... in response to Actually Mark..., posted by BURKE89 on Oct 16, 2002

She'll probably be shocked!

[MarkInTx]

... in response to Tell her what percentage of your check g..., posted by Patrick on Oct 16, 2002

I'm shocked too!

Actually, it's funny you should say that Patrick. I just wrote a VERY long letter to her in which I explained just that.

(I's say GMTA, but I wouldn't want to worry you...)

I went into the discussion of tax brackets, tax breaks, owning a home and all of that.

I'm waiting to get her reaction on that.

[Dan]

... in response to Actually Mark..., posted by BURKE89 on Oct 16, 2002

Vaughn,

You are asking good questions. It is easy to imagine the problems of someone growing up in a communist society - where there is no such concept as individual ownership - and then transitioning to a 'system' where capitalism is the foundation.

Interestingly, many companies still do NOT adhere to GAAP. While there was a milestone to implement GAAP for ALL corporate financial reporting by the end of 2001 - that milestone was missed and many companies still only pay lip service to the 'requirement'. Double bookkeeping is the norm.

It is true that many (most?) schools teach western economic principles - it is the practical implementation that is lacking, hence, there is no real understanding as yet.

FWIW

- Dan