She's coming in 6 days...oh crap! :-)

[DJRandy]

In a nutshell, here's the story of myself and my fiancee, Victoria. We began corresponding in March of 2001. I went to visit her in Togliatti last October, proposed in November, she interviewed in Moscow on July 3rd and was approved. Next Monday her Aeroflot flight lands in Seattle at noon...finally!

My question is this....how should I get ready for her arrival? To those of you that have gone through this process before, what did you do to make her feel comfortable and at home?

Any advice is appreciated, I would like to make this process as pleasant as possible for her.

Thanks!

Randy

[keithandkatya]

... in response to She's coming in 6 days...oh crap!  :-), posted by DJRandy on Oct 1, 2002

First read Rags advice and then mine... and      then  dont worry to much... just do the best you can...  here is my experience...

1. Flowers... yes of course...  have some at home AND bring some roses (make sure it is an odd number) to the airport... red is the safe choice... be careful with other colors... but you probaly already know that...

2. soft relaxing music on the way home... enya is what I played... and of course not to loud so you can talk over it... remember she will have had a long long flight... she will be tired and exhausted... or at least most girls will be...

3. clean the house.... of course but it depends on the girl.. all I can say is that I spent a week cleaning... and my place wasnt that bad... I always thought I was more like Felix in keeping the place clean but after I got married I found out that next to my wife I am more like Oscar of the Odd Couple then Felix !!  LOL  my wife found dirt in places I never knew existed... so yes you should clean but if your wife is like mine dont be surprised if she has to spend a couple of weeks going over what you did and doing  a REAL cleaning job... not so bad because it is part of the nesting process and helps her feel like it is her home.

4. Little things...to make her feel at home... flowers, some balloons , perhaps what I did... I put some glue on letters in the kitchen that said Kate's Kitchen... made her feel like it was our home not like she was coming to my home..

5. Most important... patience, understanding, and love... cograts... all the best,

Keith

[Ryan]

... in response to She's coming in 6 days...oh crap!  :-), posted by DJRandy on Oct 1, 2002

I have a friend that I have been writing to for about 5 month that lives in Togliatti and I will be going to visit her in November.  I have tickets to fly into Moscow and my friend is coming by train to pick me up at the airport in Moscow.  From there we will travel by train back to
Togliatti and I have an apartment rented by my friend and so on.  I have traveled before to Lugansk Ukraine and am somewhat informed about this whole process.  I would like to ask you if you can inform me about anything in Togliatti and how you made the first trip over.  Did you use
www.volgagirl agency to set everything up for you?  I am doing this whole thing on my own and so far everything is going well.  I have my visa but I need to get it authenticated in Togliatti I was wondering how you
got this done.  All in all I would be interested in anything that you can tell me.  I hope that sometime I will be asking you questions about
the Fiancé Visa process.

[DJRandy]

... in response to Re: She's coming in 6 days...oh crap!  :..., posted by Ryan on Oct 1, 2002

Yes, I used www.volgagirl.com and I recommend them very much. Craig is a good guy, and the staff in his Togliatti office kicks butt! If you need a translator, their people are great.

Since I stayed at the Hotel Jubilee (Ubileinaya), they were the ones who validated my visa. If you're staying at a private residence, contact whoever issued your tourist visa and explain your predicament.

I went in October, and it was just starting to switch from rain to snow. So expect snow in November for sure, and bring a REALLY heavy jacket!

We went to the clubs, went bowling, and of course she showed me the local sights. It's really a neat town, you should have lots of fun.

Any further inquiries, email me direct at randy at ssdj dot com, okay? Good Luck, and keep us posted!

Randy

[Rags]

... in response to She's coming in 6 days...oh crap!  :-), posted by DJRandy on Oct 1, 2002

A clean house and flowers are good for starters

Seriously though, have a EE phone card(s) ready for her as there is no substitute for being able to talk to family and friends whenever she feels the need. Insist that she phone  her family and let them know that she got here safely as soon as you get her home. My wife told me (later) that this was a great gesture on my part and showed her that I was concerned about her and her family's well being.

A computer with internet access also helps keep the lines of communication open. I feel that it pays for itself quickly as not only does it allow easy access to e-mail, but it is possibily the best source of news and events "back home" in her native language.

Find out where the nearest churches, Russian food stores, and even Slavic Community Centers are. Let her know that there is additional support for her here even if something happens to you and you cannot be there for her. Don't try to push her into finding other Russian friends though. She will find friends on her own and it has been my expirience that there are sometimes "hidden agendas" by some of the Russian immigrants that you meet.

Check out the schedule for ESL classes at your nearest community college. Local school district classes are OK for starters but if she has more than a basic understanding of English she will tire of them quickly.

Also pick up a copy of the driver's manual. I know that Washington has them in Russian (and available on line).

Relax and let the FUN begin...congrats  Ed

[Oscar]

... in response to Re: She's coming in 6 days...oh crap!  :..., posted by Rags on Oct 1, 2002

.

[MarkInTx]

... in response to She's coming in 6 days...oh crap!  :-), posted by DJRandy on Oct 1, 2002


She was approved in July and didn't get her Visa until October?

Yikes... not good news for those of you going through Moscow.

(BTW, congrats and good luck! I envy you now!!! Tho I wouldn't have in July!)

[DJRandy]

... in response to So... from a timeline..., posted by MarkInTx on Oct 1, 2002

No, the visa was approved on the spot. It has just taken me longer to get things ready for her. I was hit with a small dose of UNEMPLOYMENT, and had to wait until everything was back in order before bringing her here.

[Stevo]

... in response to She's coming in 6 days...oh crap!  :-), posted by DJRandy on Oct 1, 2002

OK, I DIDN'T do this and I'm STILL paying for it after almost 3 years!

Do this or you will never here the end of it.  Get a BIG bouquet of flowers and place it on the dining or kitchen table with a heartfelt card to your fiancee welcoming her to your abode.

Second, but equally as important, have a BIG 'table' set if at all possible (and try REALLY hard to make it possible!). Make sure you have lots of things on the table like cold meats, shrimp, various salads (cole slaw, potato, etc.), drinks.  It may all go to waste, but that's the least of your worries!

Stevo

[KenC]

... in response to She's coming in 6 days...oh crap!  :-), posted by DJRandy on Oct 1, 2002

Randy,
First off, let the girl rest the first day.  Don't forget she just had a very long and stressful flight.  A hot bubble bath and SLEEP would probably be very welcomed from her.  (Try to control your romantic feelings for at least a day) As for your prep for her arrival, stock the fridge with juices and fresh fruit.  Make sure you have tea, honey, cookies, chocolates (dark not milk), some cheese and nuts.  (At least that is my wife's list of survival food) Give her some space of her own in your place: some closet space, drawers in the bedroom ect.  A nice gift basket from Victoria's Secret or Body Works with lotions, bubble bath, soaps ect. is a nice welcoming touch.  Have your place neat and tidy, but not hospital clean.  That let's her feel needed.  Show her where everything is at in your place.  Do NOT forget to rid your place of any photos or correspondence from any other women!  That should be an automatic thing, but there was a poster here that didn't do it and he paid dearly for it.  By the way, when I say rid your place of those things, I mean out of the building.  It is understandable that she will "check things out" when you are at work, wanting to learn more about you.  In general, make her feel welcome.  Best of luck to you.
KenC

[MarkInTx]

... in response to Re: She's coming in 6 days...oh crap!  :..., posted by KenC on Oct 1, 2002


You wrote:

"(Try to control your romantic feelings for at least a day)"

I think if I did that my woman would be calling the doctor the next day (or worse giving me some home remedy!)

I mean... she never gave me the day off when I went to visit her in Ukraine... I can't imagine that she wants the first night in our new home to pass without "christening" the new bed.

Are you sure...

[KenC]

... in response to Really?, posted by MarkInTx on Oct 1, 2002

Mark,
My point is to be considerate of her long tiring trip.  The anticipation IS somewhat overwhelming, I know.  I still get ribbed on this issue.  In your case, I would tell Victoria that she has 30 mins to do what ever she wants (if ahe needs it) LOL.
KenC

[MarkInTx]

... in response to Re: Really?, posted by KenC on Oct 2, 2002

Hehehe...

30 minutes to do *whatever* she wants???

I'll be lucky to still be alive in an hour... ;-)

[DJRandy]

... in response to Really?, posted by MarkInTx on Oct 1, 2002

Ha! I'll just let her sleep, until she is rested or has the overwhelming desire to molest me....

[Stan]

... in response to She's coming in 6 days...oh crap!  :-), posted by DJRandy on Oct 1, 2002

Congrats and Good Luck,
Plan on lots of time for her to adjust,, some things come quicker than others but I tried to explain little parts of EVERYTHING,,,,,  banking, how scanners work at the store, traffic, the tax system, Jerry Springer, why NO ONE walks here,,    ie. things I thought of on my own and things I never would have thought of.
Try to find ESL classes as they were alot of help to my wife and MOST of her FSU friends, I never felt threatend by her friends and some of their crazy ideas or her good hearted friends. I was lucky and she chooses not to have contact with the "caty", jealious, "green-card" ones.
It's gonna be a ride I wouldn't recomend to the weak of heart, my life has never had such high peaks of joy or such a woman so living her emotions,,, but I wouldn't have it any other way and am extremely happy with my choices.
Steve