I've read all the follow-up posts regarding the pros/cons of your wife having Russian friends once she gets here. I just want to clarify that I wasn't suggesting that you prohibit her from having such friends (because you can't and you don't have the right to do so). What I was saying is that you shouldn't go out of the way to acquire some Russian friends for her in advance of her arrival as some have suggested in the past on this list.
The idea behind that suggestion was to have a group of ready-made Russian friends just waiting for your wife's arrival, ready to step in when she became seriously homesick. This is the idea that I think is foolish...getting a crutch set up for your wife in preparation of the inevitable.
Some others recently posted that friends would 'support' your marriage no matter if they were American or Russian. The key here is 'friends'. Your American friends that you introduce to your wife are just that...friends... and of course they will (or should) support your relationship with your new wife. The problem with the prearranged or very new Russian friends is that you (and your wife) know very little about them. Why are you friends with them? Because they have the same values, interests, etc? Or just because they are Russian? That's the problem. And so far in my experience, all the Russian women my wife has met while here have been very jealous and have attempted to steer my wife to the 'dark side'. They are only interested in money and/or a green card. Cheating on your husband? No big deal for these ladies...they recommend it to my wife.
Typically here in America, suggestions such as these would only be made if they were solicited because of problems in the marriage. However, the Russian way of thinking is to be brutally direct in offering unsolicited advice...warranted or not. What I find totally unacceptable is for these women to sit here in my house and tell my wife (while I'm SITTING there) that she shouln't do anything around the house, that she should go out and find a lover, that she should hide money from me, etc., etc.
If my wife didn't truly love me and wasn't being 100% honest with me, she'd never tell me what goes on behind the scenes. My wife has Russian friends...but they are in RUSSIA, not here in the USA. That's the problem. Her REAL friends who would support our marriage aren't here. The ones who are here are either scammers or jealous beyond belief...and they would just as soon see us breakup as be successful.
If you or your wife are lucky enough to find a QUALITY Russian woman here in the USA, that's great. But be forewarned that the typical RW is bad news for your relationaship with your wife (at least until your wife kicks her 'friend' to the curb as my wife has done with all her so called friends). She said "I'll NEVER invite another Russian woman into my house for as long as I live".
Stevo
