Plan unveiled......

[Mark H]

First of all, after the last......exposure to dating AW....I"m back full force. Things are well, working hard and playing hard. Just spent a week in PA visiting the old gang...had a ball.

Hold onto your hats for this one.....Actually spent some cash and bought and address or two from an agency. I was EXTREMELY skeptical as this was the first time I've done that (after 3 years and 5 trips) but it was worth it. I've been writing to TWO great girls for the past month. Very difficult decision lying ahead....who to visit. I've planned the trip for September (taking my Anesthesia boards during my next week off in August).

Advice anyone? Girl number 1 lives in Kazahkstan. Single, beautiful, kind, and was my favorite. She was the first girl I ever "saw" that I had to write. I did, she did, and here we are. Girl number 2 lives in Ukraine. She's got a little boy. #1 has no children.

#1 speaks fluent english, professional, and gorgeous.

#2 speaks broken english, blue collar, and quite lovely. However, as time has passed....her personality is becoming overwhelmingly attractive.

Initially, I couldn't imagine ANYONE causing me to wish to meet anyone other than #1...but #2 has really become quite incredible through letters, photos, and such. I've talked with #1 on the phone and she is incredible also.

Decisions and choices....

Jack, NO NO NO NO NO...I am not going to see more than one girl. Been there and done that...didn't like it. Sorry. Works for some guys I know, but not for me. The one thing I've realized after 3 years and 5 trips is that THERE IS NO ONE RIGHT OR WRONG WAY. Only the way for YOU. Period. So, the way for me is to see one girl. I have the time and resources to see one girl at a time for as long as it takes. One a month if I wish.

Later,
Mark H.

[Bobby Orr]

... in response to Plan unveiled......, posted by Mark H on Aug 8, 2002

Go for #1 for one week and then see #2 for one week later in the same trip.  Then, take it all home and think about both girls for a while.  Go back three months later and visit hopefully the now real #1.  One other thing, have a complete back-up plan for each city in the chance #1 or #2 turns out to be something that does not work at all immediately and you have a week in her city / region with perhaps nothing to do.

[Mark H]

... in response to 1 and 2 in the same trip, posted by Bobby Orr on Aug 10, 2002

Bobby,
Good plan and "kindof" what I'm thinking of doing. I'm off every 4th week, we've got a pretty cool schedule in the group. They make sure we are not on call the weekend before or after our week off, giving us 9.5 solid days off every 3 weeks. Unfortunately, I can't string 2 weeks off in a row, so seeing them both on the same trip  can't happen.

Mark H.

[KenC]

... in response to Plan unveiled......, posted by Mark H on Aug 8, 2002

Mark,
Your feelings are pretty plain to see from your post.  #1 is perfect, but #2 is catching up fast.  LOL  What's wrong with this picture?  Nothing.  You are mistaken to try and use logic in the pursuit of a woman.  That mysterious ingedient that "the" girl has (you know, the thing you can't quite put your finger on) just might be your heart (that she is in the process of stealing.)  Good luck.  LOL
Hold on tight, it is a bumpy ride my friend.
KenC

[greg2]

... in response to Plan unveiled......, posted by Mark H on Aug 8, 2002

Mark,

You have to do what seems best for you. I understand, I also feel more comfortable going over to meet one lady. I did it that way, it did not work out but is was not for the fault of going over to see one lady. I am not saying it is the best way. There is no best way except the way that works.

Those that go over and see many women are pretty much saying that I would like to go to a gathering and scope the women out and when I feel the chemistry for someone that I spot, I would like to get to know her better and see if she and I are meant for each other.

Your approach is like a blind date, your friends tell you that she is great and you have seen a photo, but what is she like in person - once you are on that blind date you are stuck so to speak.

Now, when you go to see one woman, that is fine - limit yourself - it just means that you might have to take more trips, more time, more money to find the right one. If you are willing to accept that - and I take it that you are - that is the only important thing here, then fine. But, if you come back complaining about the process because you did not find Ms right, well - that is not a fair thing to do. Just accept the draw backs of your preferred method and keep trying. I am not surprised at five trips in three years. You have got to hit pay dirt soon here me thinks.

For the guy who has limited resources or who can not get away much because of his employment, I would never recommend your method - that guy has to increase his odds due the nature of his situation plain and simple.

Good luck to you, will be eagerly waiting to see how it all pans out.

BTW, there is no question --- #1

[Alfred]

... in response to Plan unveiled......, posted by Mark H on Aug 8, 2002

I understand that you prefer to visit one woman at a time. (I won't argue with you there, that is my preference too).

However, given that the 2 women are in different locations, have you considered making two stops on one trip to the FSU? This way you are visiting one woman at each stop.  It's not one woman, but you are not juggling multiple women in the same city.

[ChrisB]

... in response to Plan unveiled......, posted by Mark H on Aug 8, 2002

You will no doubt have a great time. I agree and with your visit one approach. It worked for me and some others, but it didn't work for some rather vocal people. We've been there many times, blaa blaa blaa....

Personally I think you'd be better off with the Kazahkstan woman because she speaks better English.

On the other hand, a good woman with a small child may be more mature. You really need to spend some time around the child to get a good insight into the personality traits. A problem child can create some very stressful moments that a young marriage doesn't need.

I'm sure if you make one trip and you don't think that one is your best match, that you would make the trip to visit the other?

You sound like you have a good though process and I wish you well in your choices.

ChrisB

[WilliamF]

... in response to Plan unveiled......, posted by Mark H on Aug 8, 2002

"THERE IS NO ONE RIGHT OR WRONG WAY. Only the way for YOU."

Then why do you seek the advice of others? If you have good judgment..then trust it...

[WmGo]

... in response to My non-advice..., posted by WilliamF on Aug 9, 2002

Because he knows deep down inside that he wants to meet a smorgasbord of women because it is fun and exciting thing to do!!

Go for it Markster!

[Patrick]

... in response to Plan unveiled......, posted by Mark H on Aug 8, 2002

Each man chooses what works out for his personal preferences.  If you can enjoy trips as foreign vacations in the event that things don't work out with the one woman, then even when you fail to meet "the one" you're not disapointed.

I met the right woman on my fourth trip.  I think by corresponding/telephoning for a while first you can eliminate many women that wouldn't be a good fit without the little head getting in the way of your thought process too much.

However, for guys who sole purpose in traveling is to meet the woman they want to marry, I do think meeting multiple women is the best way to go.

[Oscar]

... in response to Plan unveiled......, posted by Mark H on Aug 8, 2002

Sorry, I'm afraid the only advice I would have to offer is advice you do not wish to hear- I would personally never recommend any man go to the FSU for only ONE girl he has never met!  Wherever you decide to go, I would certainly at least run a personal ad there in the newspaper to have some back ups as experience of my own and from many others dictates that it is somewhat unlikely you will really end up with one of these two women.  Chemistry by email or by phone is a far different thing than chemistry in person..
And if you think these agency women you are corresponding with would not be more than happy to meet other men who happen to go there before you do, I think it would be naive.

I was SURE that there were a few women I had been emailing and calling months before I left on my last trip would absolutely have no problem being THE ONE..  Fantastic phone and email chemistry, but when I met them in person, it just couldn't happen!  I ended up with a woman I had never written to or seen a photo of before my trip.  She had responded to my personal ad and I didn't see her photos or letter until I was already there!  And I know this happens a lot!

Just my 2 cents..

Oscar

[BarryM]

... in response to Plan unveiled......, posted by Mark H on Aug 8, 2002

I personally think you will have better results in Central Asia since there are less men going over there. I would stick with the ethnic Russians and stay away from the Muslims.

-blm