Tact and Discretion

[Charles]

I have read the posts below regarding the Mark/LP situation and I think this illustrates why you ought to be very careful in what you post about the details of your relationship.  Mark shot himself in the foot, in my view, when he described the timing of his sexual encounter with his fiance, which was probably compounded by the extensive pictorial display for all the world to see.  I asked my wife what she would have done if I had posted intimate details along with extensive photos of our relationship and meeting.  She said it would be "Paka, Charlie!".  This isn't the first time that extensive photos or detailed accounts of these encounters have caused problems.  A few months ago a happy fellow in love posted a batch of fiance photos through this site and found another agency downloaded them and was using them.  Another guy was hounded off the board for posting R-rated accounts of his initial encounters. (Mark's thankfully, was only PG and I note that his photos have now been delated).  This board serves a valuable purpose in providing detailed accounts of this process, what to look for, how to do it, and what to avoid.  I have no problem with discussion of the general attitudes of FSU women on subjects such as sex, but open display of intimate moments just opens up a can of worms and in the not-so-unlikely event that your wife discovers this, may get you in a lot of trouble.  I have no problem with photos, although personally I wouldn't do it unless my fiance was in agreement. But exercise some tact and discretion in what you post.  I have no interest in knowing when sex occurred and certainly no interest in reading about who may or may not have had met or have had sex with your fiance.

[Phillip]

... in response to Tact and Discretion, posted by Charles on Jun 23, 2002

A guy (American) is dating 3 attractive and nice women.  They all want to marry him, but he can't choose.  So, he decides on a test.  He gives each of them $1000 dollars and tells them they have two weeks to go off by themselves and spend it, then come back and tell him how they spent it.  They all come back right on time, two weeks later.  The first woman gives him many gifts and says, "I took your money and bought you many presents to show how much I love you through generosity".  The second lady looks even more fabulous than usual.  She says, "I spent the money on a new dress, a new hairstyle, a complete makeover, and a trip to the spa, because I love you so much and I want to look good for you."  The third lady gives him a check for $5000 and tells him, "I took your money and invested it in the stockmarket to show you how much I love you, and I made a 400% profit!"  So, the guy finally makes his decision.  Which woman did he marry?
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The one with the biggest tits.

[Phillip]

... in response to Returning fire (for the ladies), posted by Phillip on Jun 25, 2002

Sorry, I posted that in the wrong heading.  Ignore it

[johnnydudeman]

... in response to Tact and Discretion, posted by Charles on Jun 23, 2002

No kidding.  There's a lot to say about using tact and discretion.  Its usually the gentlemanly thing to do.  I mean, don't you guys see how it cheapens those "special moments" when you broadcast them to the entire world over the internet?  (And, by the way, there IS a special section on this site for trip reports for those who care to read them...read the archives.)  This can be a great place to exchange information and even a place to make some good contacts.  But hearing about your trips and personal moments and about how you got to "know" your girl within the first moments seems more appropriate for the "Penthouse Forum" than on a board meant for exchanging information (that's a little more information than we need).  And I really really can't understand publishing pictures of your special girl on the internet with a link making it easier to find them...even when you KNOW there's a (using your own words) "likelihood that something undesired will happen with them."  That just boggles my mind and seems to appeal more to some men's salacious tendencies rather than helping them with their own search.  Tact and discretion...its a good thing.

[Oscar]

... in response to Re: Tact and Discretion, posted by johnnydudeman on Jun 24, 2002

I really don't see anything wrong with posting some photos of your trip and your girl here..  Now certainly, it goes without saying that you would not want to be posting photos that are innappropriate but I would actually love to see more guys post photos of their trips/experiences and their fiancees/wives etc..  I posted some of mine and I haven't had any problems with doing so.  I was happy to do it and the responses semed very positive.

I do agree that in trip reports, there are some things that should be left to the imagination.  I cannot imagine a woman being happy knowing that her man was going into too much detail about their personal relationship and certainly their sexual one, but to each their own..

Later

[juio99]

... in response to Tact and Discretion, posted by Charles on Jun 23, 2002

An argument could be made for posting more, not less, about the lady you are serious about.  We read about many situations, after the fact, where the lady was not quite what she first appeared to be.  Sometimes this has to do with how many other guys she had tried the fiance bit with, etc.  The more a guy reports on 'his lady' the more chance others can say: "Wait a minute, I think I know her and she did such and such."

And, don't panic, I am not talking about the current situation with Mark.  I am just talking in general here, assuming that we are all trying to help one another.

Just how this can all be done without destroying a relationship with an innocent lady, I am not sure.

JR

[KenC]

... in response to On the other hand, posted by juio99 on Jun 23, 2002

JR,
You say we should write more but you never even mentioned your lady in your trip report.  Were you alone?
KenC

[greg2]

... in response to Re: On the other hand, posted by KenC on Jun 23, 2002

sfd

[juio99]

... in response to Re: On the other hand, posted by KenC on Jun 23, 2002

Yes Ken, perhaps I am guilty of double standard here.  But in my defense, I mentioned 'that you are serious about' in my original post.  I am not planning to marry anytime soon and none of the three ladies I met in Turkey, so I don't really need feedback regarding a lady.  I didn't mention ladies in my trip reports because I prepared them mainly for my family (mother, etc.) and didn't want to get into the details of accompanying women.  That's also why I decided to not post them here; that is to say there wasn't enough 'romance' for our readers.

JR

[MarkInTx]

... in response to Tact and Discretion, posted by Charles on Jun 23, 2002

Charles,

I appreciate your sentiments. And, your opinion is as valid as anyone else's on here.

Since you chose to use me as an object lesson in indiscretion, however, allow me to respond:

First: about the pictures... They were all, I thought, tasteful. Surely it was a "G" rated gallery.  Most of them were simply Black and Whites of Victoria's face. Hardly intimate...

Also, Victoria knew of the pictures, and even pulled up the page to look at them. Her only complaint was that she thought one of the pictures made her look too thin.

I have deleted the pictures now because the longer they stay up, the greater the likelihood that something undesired will happen with them. (Although, I do find it interesting that you knew that they had been deleted....)

About the trip report: I would say two things...

First of all, I love to write. I have had several things published, and am working on my second novel right now. The writer in me couldn't pass up good material... Maybe I should have... but some of the stuff that happened was so incredible that I couldn't have made it up.

I don't expect anyone to understand that... You would have had to have struggled to fill a blank sheet of typewriting paper before you would realize how hard it is to let something like that go...

You say that I "shot myself in the foot." I don't agree. I did leave myself vulnerable to attacks from small-minded people... but so what?

I chose to post a fairly detailed account because in the past, I have read detailed accounts, and I appreciated them. I figured that there were also a lot of people who would appreciate my candor, in the same way that I appreciated other's candor in the past.

If you didn't like the trip report, I am sorry. Others did. Not everything on this board is for everybody... It wasn't my purpose to offend your sensibilities with it... If I did offend you, please accept my deepest apology...

But... look at how you felt and how you reacted...

You didn't like it... and you moved on. You didn't feel a need to invent trysts, attack me personally, or threaten me with innuendos, did you?

You just didn't like it.

I can accept that. And I would like to think that most of the guys on here are mature enough to react the same way.

Unhappily, some are not.

And that is why the firestorm ensued. Not because of my candor, but because some people just can't stand to see others happy...

Will this keep other men from being so forthcoming?

Yes... sadly, it will. I have guys writing me who won't even post on the board for fear of getting flamed by some of the board's terrorists.

And that is the real tragedy. Voices are silenced because of a couple of bullies.

I don't know about you, but I find that sad...

[Natalya]

... in response to Re: Tact and Discretion, posted by MarkInTx on Jun 23, 2002

Sorry to say but only guy with attitude like "Look, I've got trophy!" could post pictures like that. Felt uncomfortable to even look at them. Just my point of view.

[MarkInTx]

... in response to Re: Re: Tact and Discretion, posted by Natalya on Jun 24, 2002

Well, I didn't feel that way.

My attitude was more: "Hey I'm in Love! And here she is..."

But, as I have said before, everyone is entitled to their opinion...

[johnnydudeman]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Tact and Discretion, posted by MarkInTx on Jun 24, 2002

Okay, Mark, since you defend publishing the details of your meeting and quick sexual encounter with your girl, and since you defend your posting of a link to her pictures for all the world to see...how about telling your girl you did this.  

I mean, if you truly believe this was cool and tactful and gentlemanly and discrete...just tell your girl you did this.  She will understand.  Right?  You don't have to tell her WHERE you posted this (because, apparently some men here who believe it is best to keep this site "a secret").  Just tell your girl, "Hey, guess what?  I posted a link on a message board to your pictures and, because I love to write, I also published the details of our quick sexual encounter.  So now everyone can read about our sex life and they can even see your 'G rated' pictures so they will have a visual image as well.  Its okay sweetheart because 'I love to write' and I wanted to publish all the details because...'some of the stuff that happened was so incredible that I couldn't have made it up.'"  

Some men think its okay to kiss and tell after an encounter with their R/U woman.  A gentleman will use tact and discretion.  But you suggest that those who object to such postings are small minded and not mature?  I think not.  And you think the "firestorm" resulting from your posting the intimate details of your sexual encounter along with her photos may deter others from doing the same?  To that I say "gosh, I hope so."

[LP]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Tact and Discretion, posted by johnnydudeman on Jun 24, 2002

[MarkInTx]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Tact and Discretion, posted by johnnydudeman on Jun 24, 2002

Johnny,

I'm not sure what's got your panties in a bunch... What did I ever do to you? Why are you so intent on attacking me? Sheesh...

Just let it go, OK?

You think I was desperate, and I settled, and I am no gentleman... I lack class, tact... whatever.

Fine.

You go ahead and think all of those things if it makes sleeping alone at night any easier.

It doesn't bother me... so if it helps you... go right ahead...

Now, if you will excuse me, I need to go get an ADIT photo made so I can get about the business of getting my fiance here...