Chapter: "American Woman… Stay Away from Me-e-e”
I returned to my “Dating Haunts” and filled out an ad on Matchmaker.com. I dated a bit… but it just wasn’t working for me. The problem was that all of the women I was dating were all too… well… American.
Let me explain that…
Unlike many men on here, I think American Women are very sexy. Maybe I have just been lucky, but I have met many smart and sexy American Women. They all took their appearance very seriously, working out three to five times a day, dressed well, and looked terrific. I have had many enjoyable conversations with them, and I would be lying if I didn’t say that I was attracted to them.
All of them had careers… most of them had degrees, and the nice thing about sharing the same culture is that they understood nuances and references about things from our childhood. They were, all, very good girlfriends.
But as a wife?
No thank you…
My marriage had ended because my wife found that balancing her career and her responsibilities as a mother to my daughter were just too much.
I have been quizzed at length: “Come on, there must have been more to it than that,” and of course, there is, but that is the basis of my divorce.
It wasn’t that she didn’t love me. It wasn’t that she wasn’t happy with me. She told me I was a better husband to her than she could imagine. But… she decided that what she really wanted was someone who’s child required less effort. Her children were older, and were on “cruise control” pretty much. She didn’t want a little girl in first grade that required help with homework every night, the constant attention and love of a mother, and supervision.
Here’s the thing: I don’t think my ex-wife was a bad person. I think she is a product of her environment. Our environment.
The role of mother and wife is denigrated in our society. Given a choice between maintaining her career (which brought her satisfaction, admiration, and respect) and giving it all up to be the mother of a child that wasn’t even hers… it wasn't even close. Her decision is one that most red-blooded American girls would make. And that’s the problem.
Ours is a society that thrives on competition. It has been great for our business. It has been disaster for our families, for there is no place for competition within a family.
My concept of family isn’t the merger of two equals coming together for the good of the union. It isn't a "partnership". It's a team. It is a vision of a team that bands together against everything else, and in which everyone plays their role – whatever it is – because the team is the thing.
Look at any championship team, and they invariably describe themselves as: “A Family.” They rally around each other and close ranks against all outsiders. They all gladly play whatever position needs filled, all because they have one driving force: The team comes first, and individual glory is sacrificed so the team can win. They all describe that feeling as being part of a family.
However, it is a concept that, strangely, seems to be missing from our families.
So, I kept coming back to the idea that I needed to find a woman with “traditional” family values. One that wouldn’t quit simply because she could. One that wanted to be part of a team.
My search took me back over seas.
My first thought was: Back to Russia. Or Ukraine. Jack had a “Spring Tour” coming up, so I contacted him, and began to gear up for a new trip.
I wrote to several of the ladies from Firstdream, and I also bought some addresses from Scanna. Things were a bit difficult, for I had a problem with vacation time at work, and so I could not devote as much time to my travels as Jack recommended.
I could only do ten days, not 15.
We spent several hours on the phone talking, as Jack outlined his strategy.
