Home alone, (while your at work)

[Drew]

It seems that many of the Guy's who post on here , work from home, or work close to home,  but for the men who work 8 to 5 , (away from home,) and  are going to be bringing there Fiancee over soon,
( Fiancee Visa),  Could some of you possibly share  your experiences, good and bad, and possibly offer advice for the myself, and other's who will be going through this soon.

Things that you did to ease the possible difficulties of your Fiancee being at home alone , with out knowing many people at first ?

Did most find things such as school at first ( English , computers) ?  did most want to work with in the fist few months ?  It would seem that the first few months would be good for them just to get to know the area, and try to make friends and etc.. but maybe that would depend each situation, and whether they have children already.

Thanks

Drew

[John K]

... in response to Home alone,  (while your at work), posted by Drew on Mar 11, 2002

You need to know your lady's personality type a little better to help her adjust.  Some will be fine alone and others will want the comfort of a Russian friend.

In my case, Marina spends most of the morning exercising (treadmill, metal hula hoop, and abdominal stuff).  After her morning regimen, she takes a long bath, then fires up the computer for email and browsing numerous Russian websites and chat areas.  Sometime during the day, I come home for lunch and we usually spend about an hour together then over the dinner table.  She also sometimes uses ICQ to talk with her mother and once in a while she maxes out the telephone card ($25 limit) to call a relative or friend.  Oh, she also spends a lot of time looking for MP3s, both Russian and American.

Also, she spends a lot of time cleaning the apartment, and now that we have a washer and dryer in our apartment, she does laundry at least twice a week.

She also is amassing a pretty good sized Russian library and video collection.  When I work late or am out of town, she reads or watches a selection that we have recently purchased.

When she first arrived, Marina watched almost every video in my video collection.  Also, I got her a kitten early on, which kept her company.

My wife and I are pretty insular, in that we don't socialize much.  I am pretty much a loner, but I know that socialization is important for adjusting to a new area.  I spent a lot of time looking for Russian people for Marina to meet.  You'd be surprised how many you can find, if you really look hard enough...

[Oatmeal]

... in response to Home alone,  (while your at work), posted by Drew on Mar 11, 2002

I have to say that my fiancee has had a very easy transition into her new life.

I work an 8 hour day but on a 3rd shift so the worst is that she would rather I work more normal hours but "that's life"  

It is always a struggle to get out the door to go to work as she is usually wrapped around me as I try to get out the door.  The first couple of weeks, she spent most of her time on the internet and watching TV and cleaning the house, etc...

After a couple of weeks I took her to get her hair done in a salon and she met this Russian girl there who has about 40 or 50 other friends from Eastern Europe and there is even another couple from her home city of Odessa.  They all meet every Saturday night so we usually go and hang out with them on Saturday night.  Personally I really love to go to their parties.  It is always very interesting for me.

So, we were very lucky to have found these people so quickly.  We also go to the gym very frequently so that also gives us something to look forward to.

Now she wants to get a job to start working and helping me to save money for another trip back to Ukraine.  I was worried about her English skills but I think that there are some jobs that she can do just fine at.

Went down to the Social Security office and applied for a social security number for her and the card should be here in about 10 days then she will be able to work.

All-in-all I would have to say she is pretty content here and I am also.  Good luck to all here and hope you all will have such and easy transition and me and mine.

Jim

[Charles]

... in response to Home alone,  (while your at work), posted by Drew on Mar 11, 2002

Drew, you asked some good questions.

1.    As far as timetables go, what we did was agree there was no timetable.  Tania was and has been allowed as much time as she wants to adjust to life in America.  While her English is fairly good, she had never driven a car and wanted some additional education.  I told her take as much time as she needed.  I would strongly advise against setting any timetables or agendas.  Let her progress at her own pace.

2.    I would not be ashamed about the fact that your wife is "home alone".  In my case there seem to be almost as many Russians as Americans.  Yesterday we went to a bookstore for Russian people and there were hundreds there.  So my wife spends very little time "home alone."  If people ask, just say that she is taking additional courses to adjust to life here.  My wife works and wants to work, and I think that is the case with most RW.

[Drew]

... in response to Re: Home alone,  (while your at work), posted by Charles on Mar 11, 2002

Thanks Charles.
My question was in referance to trying to help keep her from being bored at home, during the first few weeks (maybe months) while I am at work, ( before she has a job, hobbies, freinds, and can drive a car)

I was just wondering if it would be wise to take an extended leave from my work, as to maybe make the adjustment easier for her,  but then also thought that I work , and this is what I have to do, and that she will eventually either have to be alone, or will have to find things ( work, hobbies, etc..) to keep her form being bored while I am way during the day.

oh, and Jack,  you are once again wrong.  but nothing new there..

Thanks,

Drew

[Charles]

... in response to Thanks Charles, posted by Drew on Mar 11, 2002

Drew, my wife wasn't bored.  It helps to get her doing things.  She enjoys painting, but hasn't had any time for it because she has a pretty full day.  Between learning to speak English, learning to drive, loving to shop, I wouldn't expect her to be cooped up.  In my case, I did not take an extended leave from my job.  What you might do is take some long weekends together.

[tfcrew]

... in response to Re: Home alone,  (while your at work), posted by Charles on Mar 11, 2002

My marriage took the exact direction that Chas described.
Karl