Any ideas on this?

BubbaGump

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« Reply #15 on: February 28, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »

... in response to Wait a minute... You use an interpreter?..., posted by MarkInTx on Feb 28, 2002

If the girl doesn't speak English it is much harder to get the relationship going. They can't tell through an interpreter if you're a really good guy or not. You can't connect with them either. Get a girl that knows at least some English.


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KenC

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Good point "on subject"

« Reply #16 on: February 28, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »

... in response to Sort of off subject...., posted by Ryan on Feb 28, 2002

Ryan,
Meeting the family is very important in my mind. Without that it would make the meetings more of a fantasy than a reality. I think that meeting the family makes everything more serious. I also agree with your comment about just calling to find out whazzzup?
KenC


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tim360z

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Calling there is not always so easy, like

« Reply #17 on: February 28, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »

... in response to Good point "on subject", posted by KenC on Feb 28, 2002

today I had arranged to call a girl there at 8PM their time in Ukraine. I used a Net2phone card and the whole system is down. For over 2 hours. Tried another card and I get the circuits busy signal. So, me? I got this girl at home waiting for a call---that is not getting through. Now, when I paid more through MCI, I at least could get through.


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Richard

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Re: Calling there is not always so easy, like

« Reply #18 on: February 28, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »

... in response to Calling there is not always so easy, li..., posted by tim360z on Feb 28, 2002

I called Ukraine (Kiev) using Net2Phone arround 7:30 Ukaine time (1:30 EST or just before) and got through using the 800 number on my card rather than the local number. Like you, I have had trouble using Net2Phone. Usually both numbers aren't down, but it is a definate possibility.

On the plus side, my calling costs are way down.


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tim360z

Guest

Yes, I found MCI 3 times higher, but no

« Reply #19 on: February 28, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »

... in response to Re: Calling there is not always so easy,..., posted by Richard on Feb 28, 2002

glitches like today. It was also my 1st time use of the card. I also used a Sprint card and got busy signals...luckily she has email at home.


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KenC

Guest

Re: Yes, I found MCI 3 times higher, but no

« Reply #20 on: February 28, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »

... in response to Yes, I found MCI 3 times higher, but n..., posted by tim360z on Feb 28, 2002

Guys,
Lena uses the Nobel cards for 9 cents per min with no connection fees. She usually has no problem at all. I tell her if she has to call and can't get through on the card, just dial direct. We have AT&T international program and her calls are 20 cents per min there. My phone bill has gone down significantly.
KenC


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tim360z

Guest

Things change as well as perceptions,

« Reply #21 on: February 28, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »

... in response to Any ideas on this?, posted by Ramblin on Feb 28, 2002

Firstly, the whole letter writing thing really requires 2 people very very interested in each other who possess the time and inclination and the money. It is probably much easier for you to write an email every 4 days---than it is for her. I only know 1 girl whose family has a computer and internet at home. For her, it is fairly easy....for the others, I know its more difficult. Also, some girls, after you meet, will want to know...like where they stand with you. Many will find continued letter writing a waste of time, since their goal is marriage. Not writing letters. For continued communication I think they have to be interested in you and to beleive you are very interested in them. Like a possible future together...not letter writing. I think for a girl to have a continuing long correspondence can be difficult. She must really want to. For whatever the reasons. And the evidence is in the effort she puts into it. The girls I communicate with usually write me once a week by email. And every few weeks, especially around holidays they will all send postal mail...like cards and short letters, photos...that sort of thing. It is fairly easy for them to take a little time to let me know they are thinking of me. I should also point out to you that I do take the time and the patience to cultivate a very good friendship with them first. My guess (uneducated) with the ones who now write every month is either a miscommunication or a dis-interest on their part. It is not that difficult for them to communicate with you more often...like once every 2 weeks or so. And, one last thing is they probably are communicating with other "prospects". Most good looking girls get so many letters from guys. Good luck.


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KenC

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that was then, this is now

« Reply #22 on: February 28, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »

... in response to Any ideas on this?, posted by Ramblin on Feb 28, 2002

Ramblin,
This is a "natural" progression in an "unnatural" relationship. It sounds as though the 4 ladies were high with anticipation after your visit, but that was FIVE MONTHS AGO. You do not mention if you have any firm plans to return, so I will assume that you have no firm plans at this time. Think about it this way: You know the excitement one feels at the beginning of a relationship? A big portion of that excitement is the anticipation of what comes next. You have had what would be considered as a few "first dates" with 4 different women. The excitement was high then, but it has fizzled out now over time. It is almost impossible to maintain that "high" via written word without face to face interaction. You have the time issue plus the numbers issue against you. No matter how hard you try, you cannot be to 4 what you could be to 1. You are not ready to make a committment to 1, so why should they? Please don't take that as a slam because you may have not yet met the right woman either.
KenC
p.s. (It cracks me up when we AM hang on every word (now) coming from women that English is their second language. Don't analyze the words so much. If you have a question about what she wrote, ask her)


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Oatmeal

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Re: hitting on the same thought.

« Reply #23 on: March 01, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »

... in response to that was then, this is now, posted by KenC on Feb 28, 2002

If the tables were turned. Would you wait in anticipation of a RW/UW if you weren't sure if you would ever see her again because she would not tell you if she was planning another trip anytime soon.

I think not. By the attitudes of many of the men here (or at least my perception of their attitudes) I think most men here would not bother waiting for, or putting much effort into a RW if they were not even sure she would see them again. I feel most men would consider them a tease or maybe not serious if they weren't willing to put effort into the beginnings of a relationship. Much in the way you describe now.

Try to think about the situation if the tables were turned and it might give more light on why these women act the way they do sometimes.


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tim360z

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Returning, I think in May is

« Reply #24 on: February 28, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »

... in response to that was then, this is now, posted by KenC on Feb 28, 2002

what I read in his post Ken. I agree though...going there and spending a few days or a week with 1 girl is really like a first date or 2. In contrast, if the girl lived nearby they would have spent more time in person and things would have developed more in a normal fashion after say 30 "dates". ie: Like maybe in that course of time she decided she didn't care for him or he didn't care too much for her or whatever...or maybe they had a great chemistry. One should not marry someone for their letter writing skills---it should be for how they "click" in person. Personally, I feel that one can initially develop a friendship in letters and telephone calls...but a real relationship is in person.


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Ramblin

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yep, arriving KBP 4/29/02

« Reply #25 on: February 28, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »

... in response to Returning, I think in May is, posted by tim360z on Feb 28, 2002

n/t.


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MarkInTx

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"natural" progression in an "unnatural" relationship

« Reply #26 on: February 28, 2002, 05:00:00 AM »

... in response to that was then, this is now, posted by KenC on Feb 28, 2002

Wow, Ken...

I think you ought to get an award for this one: "natural" progression in an "unnatural" relationship...

Hmmm... wonder if that is better than an unnatural progression in a natural relationship...? ;-)

Seriously, though... all wordsmithing aside.. I could not agree more.

If you had narrowed it down to one... then the emails would still be flowing freely.

If you haven't committed to the lady.. why should she commit to you?

She still has other guys writing her... many of them are still planning on coming over. She met you five months ago. She will get serious again when your mail starts with: "I am coming in __ weeks to see you again..."

Other than that... expect that this lady is receiving a LOT of mail and email... why should she drop them all for someone who left five months ago with a handful of women he was interested in...?