Guys, this was a post from the Latin board, but I thought it was great, so I'm copying it here.
This is from a guy who married an RW, and she left him when things were bad financially for him. He now has a Colombian bride. That's not the point. The point is that he has the unique perpective of helping a woman adjust to our culture -- twice. Deesn't matter what country she's from.
I thought this advice was priceless:
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Some of the mistakes I made seem pretty dumb now, but here are a few.
Do not teach your wife to drive yourself. Hire an instructor, use his car all the way through the exam. Pay for lessons until she is a safe driver, and don't ever show any impatience if it takes her 4 times as long as an Americano woman. My wife crashed nearly killing us both and totaling my new 4 runner. I broke 3 ribs...
No matter how angry or frustrated you get, do not raise your voice. Since the girl has only you to count on in this country, you do not have the luxury of a typical American man/women argument that we have all become accustomed to (sadly). A bad argument scares these girls way too much because they feel real alone if things are rocky with you. If you can't control your temper now, wait until you can, to bring one of these girls here.
Lose the agenda right from the beginning. Most of us have numbers in our head on how long it will take them to learn English, drive, get a job, become more independent etc. etc. etc. You have absolutely no idea how long any of these things are going to take and never let her feel any pressure or impatience from you. Constantly put yourself in her position and imagine yourself moving to her country. My new attitude now is that if anything happens before two years, it's a bonus. There is plenty of time years down the road for everything, don't try to Americanize them sooner then they do it naturally themselves.
Never point out that she has it better now, then she had it before. This is obvious, but most of us will do it eventually. It probably is true, but DON'T DO IT. At all costs, let your girl keep her dignity.
Never point out that the US is better then her country. Again it's obvious, but most of us will eventually do this one too. These girls rightfully have pride in their countries.
Let them cry when they are homesick, and don't get too concerned. Just be supportive and give them a little space.
Don't try to find them a bunch of friends from their own country. If they show interest in this and innitiate this, then help, but don't innitiate it yourself. I have never heard of a girl who liked this, so don't bother because it probably isn't going to work anyway. Just think of all the people you know and how many are good friends. The probability of her meeting one or two Russians and becoming good friends with them is real, real low. Being from the same country is not enough in common to make a friendship. Most guys I know including myself in the past believe this.
Don't correct her English too much. It's going to be great down the road anyway, so just smile and enjoy every word and mistake. This is a fun time and a stage she will never again be at. Don't rush it...it's going to happen.
Do talk about money and how much she can spend and what you expect of her spending habits. Many guys don't control the money and then get angry if it gets out of control. Keep track of what is happening and teach her to be financially responsible if she needs help.
Do talk about how much you can afford on the phone bills. Set a limit, and stick to it. At one point, I told my wife I would feel more comfortable sending her parents some of the money we were spending on the phone bills. They needed a little extra money far more then they needed 60 minute phone calls to Russia.
Be careful feeling like you have the world by the butt. I felt like this after I married my Russian Wife and I feel like this once again now. Things are always OK right before they aren't. Don't take her for granted....What is your other option...an American woman?
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