AM have at least one up on RM

[Mike]

My wife has told me many times in our constant debate over the plus and minuses of our different cultures that she is impressed how common it is for AM to feel obligated to their children either in the marriage they are now in or in their past marriages. Of course there are some ( but few ) AM that not only leave their wife but also their children, but more often then not we AM seem to always want to be involved in our childrens live's regardless of our feelings toward our childrens mother. Also she is surprised how men here will even get custody of children and not because the mother is a bad women, but because we want them as bad as they do. From what she has told me, and from what I've read RM are usually the opposite of us when it comes to the nurturing of their children as far as long term fatherhood is concerned. This she finds impressive of us.

What I keep asking myself is how could this be?

Mike

[jj]

... in response to AM have at least one up on RM, posted by Mike on Jan 23, 2002

O made a simmilar post to this a while back and coped a bit of sh_it from the gang..  but it is try.  The rearing of children in FSU is the womens role and they maintain custody.  Some of the women i met indicated that the father has nothing to do with the upbring of their children and in more then one case have not seen their children since the seperation.... even when they live within 2 Km orf each other.. in one case within the same collection of apartments..  What surprised me even more was that the grandparents on the fathers side had no interest in their grand children...  this relly surprised me at first but then I latter found it was a common attitude amongst RM..  Now I am not saying this is the case always and I am sure it happens with WM also but I for one could not support or understand this.  Sure there are possible circumstances but...  they are their kids for gods sake,,

The other thing that amazed my friend was that when I met her chidlren I took time out to play with them,,,  this was something new to them.

These are the differett cultural aspects that make life interesting I guess,,  Oh the other thing is that divorse sett;ements are pretty straight forward..  I guess a left over from when the State looked after every one anyway abd there was not much to fight over...  the true welfare state.  I wonder how long this will last...  

[BrianN]

... in response to AM have at least one up on RM, posted by Mike on Jan 23, 2002

This has been this way ever since the fall of the soviet union imo.  In their urge to pound their chests with manly pride, they evacuate themselves of emotional attachment to anything that represents weakness... ie, children, and a wife that actually needs and loves them.

Leave the old, and go chase the young ones to validate ones manly (caveman) qualities.

There's a million other factors in this, but that's all I come up with for a "shorty" post, without going to work on a phd in psych blah blah whatever.

Hmmm... what if the entire system of freedom that we enjoy here in the western world were turned upside down, went to communism, then spoiled again to chaos?  Would american men act the same?  Don't know.  It is a life of much disarray for an average man.

[wsbill]

... in response to Men are the "humiliated" gende..., posted by BrianN on Jan 23, 2002

Go after the young ones before those western guys get to them first.

WHAT IS THE REASON... Lets hear some psyo blah, blah...

[MarkInTx]

... in response to AM have at least one up on RM, posted by Mike on Jan 23, 2002


I don't understand the question...?

[Mike]

... in response to How can what be?, posted by MarkInTx on Jan 23, 2002

How can a man of any country not have a deep interest and desire to be a large part of their childs life?
Mike

[wsbill]

... in response to Re: How can what be?, posted by Mike on Jan 23, 2002

my guess is that, it cost too much to get attached and they don't want to hear their wife nag, nag, nag.....

It's easier to just walk away.  It probably dates back to the time of mass expulsions, here one day, gone the next.

They're still living in that time warp or zone.  It's the easy out theory.

It's the russian that comes to America and expects everything free because that's how they were conditioned with their collective gov't that didn't work, but in theory it all sounded good.

Ayn Rand had a sister who came to America after a 25 year separation from her and denouce American and wanted to return to russia, because life in America was just too hard.

They just didn't understand how our society works, where it is required for a person to work doubly hard in their eyes for acceptance and a fulfilling life.

I guess that's why our prisons are filled with people also.
They just haven't figured out how our system works.

[wsbill]

... in response to Re: How can what be?, posted by Mike on Jan 23, 2002

my guess is that, it cost too much to get attached and they don't want to hear their wife nag, nag, nag.....

It's easier to just walk away.  It probably dates back to the time of mass expulsions, here one day, gone the next.

They're still living in that time warp or zone.  It's the easy out theory.

It's the russian that comes to America and expects everything free because that's how they were conditioned with their collective gov't that didn't work, but in theory it all sounded good.

Ayn Rand had a sister who came to America after a 25 year separation from her and denouce American and wanted to return to russia, because life in America was just too hard.

They just didn't understand how our society works, where it is required for a person to work doubly hard in their eyes for acceptance and a fulfilling life.

I guess that's why our prisons are filled with people also.
They just haven't figured out how our system works.