Fantastic story on RWL

[juio99]

Paul Wayman just posted a story on RWL that might blow your socks off; particularly the reply he got from one RW that is included.

I don't know anything about the other posting board he mentioned that supposedly has 8,000 RW as posters, but it might be worth checking out.  Below is the title of his post today on RWL.  He was supposedly married to young RW for 4 years before her affair started.

JR
- - - - - - - - -

Will your fiancee have outside affairs after you are married?
From: F. Paul Wyman

[mdante99]

... in response to Fantastic story on RWL, posted by juio99 on Dec 10, 2001

I will add a few words about my experiences.

I was married to an AW; I am now married to a lovely girl from FSU. In between I have known many many AW, and several RW. The concept of infidelity is completely different for RW than it is for AW. Enough has been said here by several eloquent posters; I will only add that it is something that an AM looking for a relationship with RW must consider.

Mark

[juio99]

... in response to Fantastic story on RWL, posted by juio99 on Dec 10, 2001

not whether this is 'sour grapes' or about a man who didn't do enough checking, etc.  As I see it the real question is that posed by Stevo below.  I have recopied it here so it doesn't get lost in the clutter below:

"I certainly didn't get the impression he was blaming RW, just noting that attitudes and cultural differences of RW predispose them to doing things that we in America don't find as acceptable as in Russia. And he wanted to verify this attitude difference by asking about it on thw RWL. The reply post by one young woman was especially revealing about RW attitudes (of course, not held by ALL RW).

My limited experience suggests much the same thing, that in general, RW are more likely to stray than their AW counteparts, hence you must be even more careful when choosing a partner from the FSU. Certainly there are plenty of faithful RW, but their life experiences are different than those of AW and they don't attach the same level of moral outrage to cheating as we do in America. I think that was all the poster intended to state."

Now, do we have any 'facts' to support or refute what Stevo is suggesting?

JR

[Stevo]

... in response to The real question here is, posted by juio99 on Dec 11, 2001

I asked her if she thought RW are more prone to cheating than AW.  After reflecting on this for a moment, she said it was without a doubt true.

She (NOT me) said that 60% of married women cheat on their husbands, for many reasons including:  husband drinks too much, husband doesn't care about appearance, husband never wants to go out and have fun with wife, husband has mistress of his own, there is nothing else to do for diversion, it's a way to get a few nice things, etc., etc.

Personally, I find it hard to believe the numbers are that high, but that's what SHE said, and I've got to believe her observations are better than mine regarding this subject.

So, if it is true, it means you (AM) have to be extra careful in choosing a RW as a mate (in comparison with an AW).

And if you disagree with me, remember, it is NOT my opinion!

Stevo

[BarryM]

... in response to Fantastic story on RWL, posted by juio99 on Dec 10, 2001

It's another marriage failure story. Mr. Wyman seems to paint RW with a broad brush and describe them as prostitutes. I know this is not the case. I think his feelings are the result of sour grapes.

He just married a bad RW, that's it. There are a lot of unsuitable RW who hook up with AM. Some common sense and patience can eliminate those problems.

-blm

[Stevo]

... in response to I don't think the story is fantastic. It..., posted by BarryM on Dec 11, 2001

ggg

[KenC]

... in response to I think you have a reading problem...thi..., posted by Stevo on Dec 11, 2001

Stevo,
Some marriages succeed and some fail, but to put the blame for failure on the fact that the wife was a RW is where the "sour grapes" comes from.  Sh!t can happen, period.

Now if you want to debate that "this" process breeds certain mistakes that are more likely to cause marriages to be unsuccessful, then there is some validity in my mind.  Couples rushing to the alter too quickly, guys marrying out of their league, RW saying anything to get out of their situation  and yes, even too big of an age difference are all likely mistakes that can lead to a bad ending.  But even these "mistakes" are shared by the AM, not only the RW.

Marriage is a tricky proposition on it's own.  The failure rates here in America make it a 50/50 deal.  I don't think that adding a RW to the mix will make ANY difference (better or worse).  To point a finger of blame at all RW is just foolishness.
KenC

[juio99]

... in response to Re: I think you have a reading problem....., posted by KenC on Dec 11, 2001

1

[KenC]

... in response to Ken, Stevo makes some good points below...., posted by juio99 on Dec 11, 2001

JR,
Stevo make a great point when he says, "Certainly there are plenty of faithful RW, but their life experiences are different than those of AW and they don't attach the same level of moral outrage to cheating as we do in America".  I have to agree with his point on this.  As I posted above, my wife's thoughts on this subject are that the RW will appreciate the fidelity of AM and therefore be MORE faithful than an AW who would take that fidelity for granted.  Afterall, who likes to be cheated on?  Just because infidelity is common place in Russia, doesn't mean that it is accepted by all.
KenC

[Stevo]

... in response to Re: I think you have a reading problem....., posted by KenC on Dec 11, 2001

that he still had a good relationship with his ex-RW and that he was still considering going back to Russia to find another wife.  I certainly didn't get the impression he was blaming RW, just noting that attitudes and cultural differences of RW predispose them to doing things that we in America don't find as acceptable as in Russia.  And he wanted to verify this attitude difference by asking about it on thw RWL.  The reply post by one young woman was especially revealing about RW attitudes (of course, not held by ALL RW).

My limited experience suggests much the same thing, that in general, RW are more likely to stray than their AW counteparts, hence you must be even more careful when choosing a partner from the FSU.  Certainly there are plenty of faithful RW, but their life experiences are different than those of AW and they don't attach the same level of moral outrage to cheating as we do in America.   I think that was all the poster intended to state.

[WmGo]

... in response to The guy posting the story said..., posted by Stevo on Dec 11, 2001

STevo,
That's what I was going to say, but you beat me to it. Good response to the issue at hand. You put the matter right back into focus.

In my many travels to FSU I have met a few ladies that I felt would be strong and faithful wives. But I cannot say this about most of the women I have met there.

There are many good points that emerge from the recent posts on fidelity:

1. Tootsie: the importance of taking time and getting to know the person as much as possible.

2. RW: Everyone is different and character and commitment is either present or absent. Play close attention to the lady's family situation.

3. Jimmy and the Wyman guy: Cultural attitudes  and mores need to be known and understood with respect to marital fidelity. FSU attitudes are very different from American.

Certainly, there *are* FSUW who share the American value system in this area. However, they appear to be a minority, and the key is to find them.

Good luck!

WmGOlikesgoodluck

[mdante99]

... in response to The guy posting the story said..., posted by WmGo on Dec 11, 2001

Well said WmGO.

Mark

[BarryM]

... in response to The guy posting the story said..., posted by Stevo on Dec 11, 2001

are more likely to stray than their AW counterparts. Isn't that obvious. There is definately sour grapes in that story. Most of the story is about how most RW are hustlers both implicitly and explicitly. There is a moral outrage to cheating in Russia. That's one of the reasons there are so many divorces there.

One thing they so many of you on here fail to realize is that there are a lot of RW scammers and hustlers trying to hook up with AM. Your exposure to them is much higher than the normal Russian populace. Use common sense to weed them out. I don't have such problems because my criteria is much more stringint. My RW have to pass a major smell test to taken into consideration. That's the advantage to being Orthodox.

-blm

[WmGo]

... in response to RW hookers..., posted by BarryM on Dec 11, 2001

Barry,
Go back and read all the old posts about the phenomena known as "sponsorship." Half or more of the women in FSU have "sponsors." It is *this* behavior that the young Russian woman was referring to in her response that was copied below from the RWL. The REALITY is that the overwhelming majority of Russian and Ukrainian and Baltic States women do not consider anything wrong with having a "sponsor" or marrying a man strictly for purposes of economic survival.

Have you been over there yet? It is quite apparent even upon casual observation - as well as just talking and visiting with the locals what the deal is.

Good luck - astarozhna!

WmGO

[LP]

... in response to RW hookers..., posted by BarryM on Dec 11, 2001

....Hows that Barry? Whats the advantage to being Orthodox?

A better sense of smell? Seems that sense of smell is gonna turn into a sense of long term loneliness, because you ended up fishing in a much smaller pond.

No offense, I just don't get it.....