response to BubbaGump

[DR]

"I always have to ask this: Did your friends and family give you a hard time about marrying a foreign wife? I always worry too much about what other people think. I used to read your posts but I only started posting after you left."

Someone remembers me.  Kewl!  Hmm...about the social impact from marrying a Ukrainian.  The fact that my wife is Ukrainian hasn't been a significant issue in these terms.  Perhaps this is because marrying a Ukrainian fits my 'profile'.  I've always dated European women, for reasons all my own.  I think those that know me consider it typical behavior for me.

I imagine that for others, marrying a non-American might require more 'justification,' if only self-justification.  

Cheers...

[mdante99]

... in response to response to BubbaGump, posted by DR on Nov 30, 2001

I will answer the same question.

Marrying a RW is seen by most family and friends as odd behaviour at the very least. They are not easily accepted, by friends and strangers alike. They are perceived as "gold diggers ", who came here only for the visa, while you are thought of as someone who has lost his marbles for a younger beautiful woman. Few of them see or want to see anything beyond that.

This has been my experience.

We have tried to develop a network of people in our situation who describe similar experiences.

Mark

[Charles]

... in response to Another Response, posted by mdante99 on Nov 30, 2001

I agree with Mark in general.  In addition to having friends in the same situation as a social/support group, the best way to deal with these stereotypes is get your wife to meet your American friends, particularly if she speaks English well enough.  This is good for her and, more importantly, once your friends see how happy you are and how happy she is the "green card/goldigger/can't get a girl here/MOB" stereotypes become a thing of the past.  It takes time, but it quickly passes.

[BubbaGump]

... in response to Another Response, posted by mdante99 on Nov 30, 2001

Like I said, I always ask that question.  I don't worry about an EE woman leaving me, I worry about how my friends and relatives will accept the relationship.

[wsbill]

... in response to Another Response, posted by mdante99 on Nov 30, 2001

Those primetime TV shows only want to show the negative side of everything.... it sells newspapers.  They really rarely take humanitarian viewpoint.

They project this image to people, so that people can say to themselves,,, gee, I don't really have it all that bad after all.

No doubt, they'll never show a happy couple on TV.  It just goes against the typical pessmisitical thinking of Americans.

[Robert D]

... in response to Re: You know why ?  Because...., posted by wsbill on Nov 30, 2001

I agree with everything you all said, but I must say that I did feel much like I was rather well off compared to most of the women there, and do feel that but for their poverty, most would likely not be interested.  So in that light, I felt a little like I was taking advantage of someones plight in life.  That is a personal thing, and I do not feel that everyone does or should feel the same way about it.

Robert D.