It was written by an American woman. For those of you who hate AWs don't bother reading it. For those of you with more open minds maybe it'll be interesting.
Steps To Take To Avoid Getting Hurt In A Relationship
by Jennifer Good
The biggest fear when it comes to a relationship is whether or not a certain person
will leave you hurt, heart broken or otherwise affected. What I've found though is
that many people open themselves up for potential hurt by not following a few
common sense rules. It seems that the desire to be around someone who is
interested in you, even if you are "settling" by being with him or her, is worth the
risk. If you find yourself in, or afraid of these types of situations, keep in mind the
following tips. They just might help you avoid a future hurt.
Find Out Where You Stand
The unknown is a powerful force. It can drive you crazy, make you doubt yourself
and potentially destroy a relationship. Don't let this happen to you! Make sure you
know where you stand in your relationship. In the same respect, make sure you
continually let your partner know where they stand as well. You'll both be happier,
and you'll have an easier time of communicating to each other.
Don't Play Mind Games
The person you are involved with, or about to be involved with, is another being --
just like you. Playing mind games is just another way to increase your chances of
getting hurt in the end. Personally, I feel that if you are willing to play mind games
with a person, then you don't respect that individual enough for a relationship
anyway. So do that person a favor and let him or her go.
Don't Sleep With Someone You Don't Know Very Well Yet
This may seem obvious, but for many people it is not. I've heard countless requests
for advice which involve a person not sure where they stand with a certain person,
yet they've been involved intimately with them. Now they are faced with a potential
loveless affair, are completely unhappy, and are being driven by the fear of the
unknown. No matter what the urge is, if you are interested in someone for more
than just a fling, don't do it until, at the very least, you are clear about the other
person's feelings for you. You can avoid many future downfalls by following this
tip!
Be Honest With Each Other
Your honesty, or lack thereof, can either build or destroy your relationship. Be
honest with your partner about everything, and expect the same from your partner.
Too many times, I see people who have let their partner lie to them about
everything, cheat on them, and worse -- yet, they continue to be with them all "in
the name of love." That type of love is no love at all. It is clinging to the fact that
being with someone, even though they are hurting you, is better than being alone. It
is fine, and perfectly reasonable to have strong feelings or affection towards
someone, but it is altogether something else when you allow yourself to stay in a
relationship that has a negative effect on you.
Don't Settle
If you know that a person isn't right for you -- go find someone who is. Don't wait
to see if the relationship could turn into something better. You'll only find yourself a
few years down the line in the same, or in an even worse, situation than you are in
now. If you find yourself nit-picking about too many of your partner's traits early in
your relationship, think forward to how much these "traits" will bother you after a
few years.
A relationship is 50% your responsibility, and 50% your partner's. Sometimes
those numbers change depending on the situation. If you find things going down the
wrong path, speak up and do something about it. Don't let it slide, thinking that
things will get better. Proclaimed ignorance is not an excuse. This is YOUR life,
don't be afraid to do things that will make it better.
