The flight to Moscow

[Zink]

By now we are starting to run late again. We have a wild taxi ride to the airport in Adler(south of Sochi). The way people drive in Sochi is something else. Little narrow, winding streets that are solid cars. And man oh man they move. Being a pedestrian there is an incredible adrenaline rush and not for the faint hearted.

We say goodbye and I give her some money so they can live in Sochi for a few more days and then get home. She says she will go to the photo place about our pictures. She wants me to call her mother when I get to Moscow and then when I make it home to Canada.

I go through the security and get stopped by the militia. The sanitrium never registered my visa. I did have it registered in Volgograd. I thought I only had to register it once upon arrival in Russia. Anyone else know more about this? They tell me that I can pay a fine or go back to my hotel. I am very pissed off by this time. I argue with them for about ten minutes and then say I'll pay the fine.

They want american dollars or 5,000 roubles. I show them my wallet. I have $30 US and a few thousand roubles. By this time my flight is almost leaving. The one guy gets excited about time and takes most of my roubles. The other guy runs me through the aiport past all the counters because they've already shut down. He takes me to a door and says that's your plane over there. pointing at the second one in line.

So I run as hard as I can carrying over a hundred pounds of luggage across the tarmac. The flight attendants are still standing at the bottom of the loading ramp. I give them my tickets and growl "Militsia". Then ask what to do with my luggage. They tell me to take it into the cabin. So for the ride to Moscow all my things are on the seat beside me.

I've never been so stressed in my life. The cabin is hot and stuffy, I feel like I'm going to throw up or faint. I'm sweating like a pig because of my run. I just pray that I really have a ride waiting for me in Moscow. I didn't have time to get a hotel and my only friend from Moscow is out of town. And I've developed an incredibly sharp pain in the pit of my stomach. That pain still bothers me a little after over two weeks.

The business men behind me spread out a small feast and start to open bottles. Now it seems that it is Russian tradition to give drinks to everyone near you when toasting. It's a Canadian tradition around here to never refuse a free drink and God, I needed one. So by the time I get to Moscow  I'm feeling pretty good. I try talking to these guys but I never am able to understand why we all got drunk together. Eta Rossiya.

Thankfully my ride is waiting for me. He's a young guy that speaks okay English. He asks me where I want to go and I tell him home. Then I explain that I don't have a hotel and I fly out late the next afternoon. So he took me to the Hotel Ukraine. It was a very nice hotel and only cost $35 US for a night. I wanted to go to the club that night but decided sleep was a better idea.

The next day my driver picks me up and gets me to Sheremetyevo 2 ahead of schedule for once.

final conclusion next.

[hockeybrain]

... in response to The flight to Moscow, posted by Zink on Nov 3, 2001

Unfortunately, you found out the hard way that the domestic airports in Russia have different weight requirements than international flights.  Be prepared to pay if the total amount of your weight is greater than 20 kg when travelling domestically.

[Zink]

... in response to Re: The flight to Moscow, posted by hockeybrain on Nov 5, 2001

I have had to pay fines before for overweight luggage. That never cost me 2,000 roubles. In Sochi I never even talked to the airline workers. I spent my whole time in the airport arguing with the militsia about my visa. When we got done arguing they led me past all the check-in desks and headed me directly to to the plane. I never even checked my luggage. They didn't know what it weighed.

My advice- either register your visa in every city or lie and say you've been there three days or less. And if you lie prepare to be caught. Registration is very simple and I don't know why the sanitorium never did it for me.

[Go2Rus]

... in response to The flight to Moscow, posted by Zink on Nov 3, 2001

I was realy surprised when I read how you lady had her own apartment (you mentioned she didn't live with her mother I think), and yet you were relegated to staying somewhere else (another not so satisfactory apartment).

I know you have mentioned you like to keep some things personal, but could you tell us a little about why you couldn't stay at your lady's apartment, even if it meant sleeping on sofa, etc.

After all this was not your first time to see her.

[Zink]

... in response to Zink, I have the same question or commen..., posted by Go2Rus on Nov 3, 2001

She said it was under renovation. She was living with her parents and sister for my trip in June and most of this trip. But that excuse was wearing pretty thin after many weeks there. She only went to her home every few days to take care of her fish. To be honest I was shocked that I couldn't stay at her place even for the one night it took to get my lovely apartment ready. She said her mother wouldn't understand if she knew we slept together. Well I figured she could have went to her parent's and I'd have her apartment. Nope!

My first trip we were together almost every day for many hours each day. Some days we sat and visited all night. There were times she never went home at all. In June there were a couple of times I didn't see her for a day or two. And often she was only there to make sure I was feed and watered. I was getting suspicious but after helping her with her problems I cut her some slack. We were still quite happy together when she was with me.

This trip I told her right out that we had problems in June and I only came back to see if we could solve them. I was hooked by her but wasn't totally blind to what was going on. She thought that if I had stayed longer in June it would have been better. Well I disproved that theory this time. With her it was always just a little later. I lost it one day and told her that we have no later. All we have is right now. If we don't talk now we never will. So we talked for about 10 minutes until I asked her some questions she didn't want to answer. So much for the honesty and openess I thought I'd found.

This trip there was only 1 day I didn't see her. But we had almost no time alone together. Many days I only saw her for a few minutes before she ran out again. And when I did get her alone she wasn't as open and responsive as before. Always too tired to talk about us. And it finally became clear beyond a doubt that it was her who was making it so we didn't have time together. There were some outside influences but she could've handled them differently and been with me more.

Things slowly went downhill for me. She gradually became more open about telling other people about us. In January she kept me almost totally isolated. But the more publicly open she was the less open in private she was. By the end of this trip we couldn't seem to discuss anything important. But she told everyone we met I was her man. She let me hold her or kiss her cheek in public which she never did before. But at home I wasn't allowed near her. It was a wierd change from being very passionate in private and cold in public to warm in public but cold in private. Personally, the former is a lot better than the latter.

I have to go to work.

[Go2Rus]

... in response to Her Apartment and time together, posted by Zink on Nov 4, 2001

might explain her actions regarding her apartment and her affection.

1. At the time of this last trip, she actually had another boyfriend that she was spending time with.

2. She was afraid of having you in her apartment and allowing private affection because she thought it would lead to the dreaded S word.

But what do any of us know.  :-))

[Zink]

... in response to To try and little detective analysis, I ..., posted by Go2Rus on Nov 4, 2001

1. was unlikely unless her whole family was in on it. She was living with them most of the time. And they took my side against her at times. It's possible but I doubt it.

2. is very possible. But that would be confusing because we had already talked quite openly about that. It's a delicate subject but I don't think that Russian women are prudes. Many of them seem to be able to talk about it.

My theory is that she realized she didn't love me but she was scared to let go. She'd already made some commitment to me. She quit her agency and removed her ad. And to let go of me would mean admitting that she made a mistake. She already told a lot of people we were a couple. She is intensely proud and hates to admit she's wrong. I screw up every once in awhile and I don't care what other people think about that. I fix my own mistakes and I think that is better than trying to hide the fact that I make them. Public opinion and appearances are incredibly important to a young woman in Russia. They go through a great deal of effort to present the right image. And they don't take decisions that will affect that image lightly.

I've heard many stories about women marrying somebody that they thought was decent and hoping that they would grow to love them. But all of this is just my wishful thinking. Maybe someday I'll have the chance to ask her.

[WmGo]

... in response to Re: To try and little detective analysis..., posted by Zink on Nov 5, 2001

Hey ZinkMan,

I read your trip reports. Very interesting. Thanks for taking the time to tell your story. I have just a few thoughts:

1. I don't like the carbonated water either - like you, I do not understand it's popularity, or the absence of just plain old bottled water. For a society that suffers from delusions of superiority you would think that it would be open minded enough to stock normal water.

2. If the woman really likes the man, she will want to "be" with him at some point during the second visit. If this doesn't happen, it is a sure sign that true romantic feelings are absent and it is best to move on.

3. "She is intensely proud and hates to admit she is wrong." This accurately describes the overwhelming majority of FSUW. It is one of the many significant stumbling blocks for AM-FSUW relationships.

4. "Public opinion and appearances are very important to young women in Russia." We have talked about this before. It is very true. It is another one of the many significant stumbling blocks. Western mentality is that substance(inner truth/reality) is what is important, not form(outward appearance). FSU mentality is the opposite. This is a major area where FSU people need to grow up. It is inconsistent with the claimed "depth of soul." They could learn a thing or two from Dostoevsky.

Sorry your trip didn't turn out better, but as you so wisely understand, you are a better, stronger and wiser man from having had the experience.

Regards from the South

WmGO

[Zink]

... in response to Detective analysis and Culture, posted by WmGo on Nov 5, 2001

I agree with your analysis. But what kept me hanging on after June was what it was like when we were together. Yes, she left me alone more than I wanted. But when we were together it was good. It was actually great. The time together was worth the time spent alone worrying. The romance wasn't dead in June it was just starting to weaken some.

It wasn't until September that things really went bad. And after October there were no doubts left. But it is hard to let go of what we almost had. So close and yet so far.

But I wouldn't trade my experiences in Russia for anything. I was tested in ways that I haven't been before. Maybe I didn't meet my lady's standards but I think I acquitted myself well. It is good to be tested from time to time. I'm not the same man who went to Russia in January.

I have one comment about #4. Balance is what is important. The two ladies I know best in Russia are so obsessed with outward appearances they are making themselves ill. But I know many people in North America who are the exact opposite. They are unhealthy because they have no regard for their appearance. They don't even try to improve themselves. The RWs are sometimes guilty of trying too hard. Many people here are guilty of not trying at all. Either extreme can be difficult to live with.

[WmGo]

... in response to Re: Detective analysis and Culture, posted by Zink on Nov 6, 2001

Excellent point about balance. It is unfortunately true that many men and woman here in the USA also have no care for their physical appearance - or public speech and behavior. The contrast in extremes between FSU obsession with appearances vs. the absence thereof in many Westerners is quite an interesting phenom.

Good luck!

[KenC]

... in response to Detective analysis and Culture, posted by WmGo on Nov 5, 2001

n/t

[Scaught]

... in response to Detective analysis and Culture, posted by WmGo on Nov 5, 2001

WmGo--  I am very impressed with your posts. You are very thoughtful, reasonable and experienced and I really appreciate your sharing your opinions.

[Dan]

... in response to WmGo, posted by Scaught on Nov 6, 2001

n/t

[Mick]

... in response to The flight to Moscow, posted by Zink on Nov 3, 2001

Zink,

After reading your story, I thought I might say something encouraging but nothing just comes to my mind. Not that you would need it, anyway, I think.
I have to give you credit for one thing, though. After all you have apparently been through with your lady (and your relationship seems to be quite a turbulent one, from what I can tell - but of course, this is only my impression that can be completely wrong) I could not find an overwhelming feeling of bitterness in your writing (that would have been understandable), that's why I liked it a lot. Thanks for sharing this story with us and I hope you keep your positive outlook (not easy at the moment, I can imagine)

However, one thing struck me from your story - and that was how little time you actually spent with your lady together during the four weeks.

Mick

[Go2Rus]

... in response to The flight to Moscow, posted by Zink on Nov 3, 2001

lady, right??!!  This had got to turn out good at some point.!!