Let me pose this question

[Lynn]

... in response to How do find a wife, posted by Katya on Oct 28, 2001

Apparently, you misunderstood what I was saying in my post. I did not indicate that she should travel to a third country and I certainly would not consider Odessa a place where it would be hard to come up with a back-up plan if your first choice didn't work (If you can't find a back-up plan in Odessa----give up).
 What I suggested was not to go to some very out of the way place to meet just one lady---------for instance: four years ago I was writing a lady from the Samara region, she seemed very nice (how can you really tell the personality from a piece of paper and a photo?). I had opportunity for me to travel for three weeks. I wanted to see her, but as I searched for a back-up (just in case) I found very few that I would consider in that region listed on any website at that time. While she explained that where she lived was a large prosperous city (due to the mines there) with a lot of things to do there, she also said that it was basicly in the middle nowhere. Also, I learned quite by chance that she was apparently friends with at least two of the other ladies listed on the site where I saw her ad. If I had went there and things didn't go well, I would have been really scrambling to salvage the trip. I do enjoy going to nightclubs from time to time, but I would hate to think that my trip were reduced to scouring the clubs to find a wife. This lady rode the train to Odessa from Samara, just to see me for three days with the understanding that if things went well that I would go back home with her to meet her family. She asked for "no" money for the fare there, only that I would pay for her room (I insisted on paying all her expenses when she arrived, which she reluctantly accepted, later). She came to Odessa, was there for the three days, we enjoyed each other's company, had some good times, decided that we would keep in touch and she went on her way back home. I then went on to meet with two others that I had contact with in the Odessa area, then on to Kiev to meet a friend of a friend there.
Other than this misunderstanding, the above post is very good and good information for those looking.

regards,

Lynn

[Katya]

... in response to A little misunderstanding......, posted by Lynn on Oct 28, 2001

I'm sorry, you are right that I did not understand you. In fact I know Samara a little, my father used to work there - it was called Kuybyshev in the Soviet times. It is a big city, but probably far away from much communication with the Western world.

I fell in love with my husband though emails - so it is possible sometimes to be sure in your heart.

Good luck
Katya

[tim360z]

... in response to Re: A little misunderstanding......, posted by Katya on Oct 28, 2001

Hi Katya,

   I did a double take when you said you fell in love with your husband through emails.  Now,  I find that curious...certainly not impossible.  If you do not mind my asking---why and how did that come about---to fall in love in emails?   Best,  Tim

[Katya]

... in response to emails???, posted by tim360z on Oct 28, 2001

I meant - through email correspondence. Sorry.

Katya

[tim360z]

... in response to Re: emails???, posted by Katya on Oct 28, 2001

....yes I thought you meant through.  So,  let me understand that.  When you say "through correspondence"... do you mean through letters...like before you ever met him,  your heart and mind had deep feelings for him???  Tim

[Katya]

... in response to Exactly!, posted by tim360z on Oct 28, 2001

Yes, though email correspondence, we fell in love & I knew that he was my Part. There was a LOT of emails!  :-)

Katya

[tim360z]

... in response to Re: Exactly!, posted by Katya on Oct 29, 2001

thanks,  Tim

[Oatmeal]

... in response to How do find a wife, posted by Katya on Oct 28, 2001

I liked your post and it contains some really good info but I have to agree with KenC on this one that it is just too risky to visit one girl at a time.  I am not saying that you have to betray your intentions of any of the girls but in my case I wrote a girl for over 4 Months and was sure she was just perfect but I knew within just a few minutes that it would not work out between us.  

If I had only planned on meeting her and had not established any other correspondence then I could have really been in big trouble.  Personally I would have really prefered to have taken it one girl at a time but it just isn't practical and I could not see spending all that money to take such a risk on a girl I had not met in person at least once.

The ladies on the other hand have a much different perspective because they don't typically have the restrictions that the man does in this case and if it doesn't work out for the lady then they go back to life as usual but for the man it could mean a financial setback for a long, long, long, time.  For me I could only plan for 1 trip each year.  I would probably shoot myself in the head if I didn't make any other arrangements and I could not return again for a year because I failed to make necessary plans i.e. backups.

[Katya]

... in response to Re: How do find a wife, posted by Oatmeal on Oct 28, 2001

I understand all you things. Please remember though that the FSU girl is also risking much when she writes to one man only. Most girls will do this though. The risk is that she has very little money & is spending  all her money so she can pay for emails & travel to the computer or agency. Everyone risks things in a relationship & it is love which make you trust a person completely. You were writing to a girl for four months & still were not in love? Maybe you were not in love because you were spreading your time with other girls, or maybe she was just not your part.

Sorry, I don't mean to get involved in your relationship.

But please remember that if you spend $1000 travelling to see a girl, you may have wasted your money & your vacation from work. Your girl however has so little money she she exists day to day. She has no resources to waste. Maybe this winter she must eat pickled mushrooms every day. Who has invested more in the failed relationship?

Katya

[BubbaGump]

... in response to Re: Re: How do find a wife, posted by Katya on Oct 28, 2001

Katya, It costs a lot more than that for us to make a trip.  It costs $2500 minimum but I have spent $5500 on a tour.  Just going to Russia or the Ukraine is a big financial comitment for most men.  A lot of the girls are very different when you meet them.  If the girl even acts disinterested we are not going to make a comitment.

[tim360z]

... in response to Trip Costs, posted by BubbaGump on Oct 28, 2001

Hi Bubba,

    Katya is correct from my experience.  The nice girls think much less of you if you are on the "cattle drive".  At best they think you are the foolish fox chasing to many rabbits.  At worst you are a lecher.  However depending on your taste in accomadations it can get pricey.  And personally for me...I would loose more money by not being at work for 3 weeks because I was not there to personally take care of business.  But,  for meeting the right few girls...I would risk 2 weeks.  Tim

[Katya]

... in response to Trip Costs, posted by BubbaGump on Oct 28, 2001

Sorry, I did not mean tours. I didn't think anyone used tours on this BBS? The organised tours are very bad thought of in Ukraine. There are TV programmes all the time showing girls treated like cattle. I have seen girls fighting each other outside of the big hotels for who sleeps with an American man for the night. I'm sorry, I get angry sometimes, I think that some of the bad women make it harder for the nice girls to find their man. I know that many bad women are attracted to the men on tours. Often they bribe the tour people to let them meet the men.

For $1000 I meant for travelling on your own to see 1 girl. I know from London a plane fare is about $324 to Odessa & an appartment is about $35 per day. That's about $600 + some money for food etc.

Katya

[Lynn]

... in response to Re: Trip Costs, posted by Katya on Oct 29, 2001

For the most part, attending one of the big tours is a waste of money, unless you have no contacts, no travel savy, no idea of what to do and or enjoy going to a cattle auction. I know a few people who found their wives at such events and are happily married. But, I also noticed that there are a lot of desparate hunters (male & female) at these events and not all are in search of the same thing. And I'm sure that it is worse now than when I attended socials put on by EC, what a cattle call. If a man feels that he needs to spend a wad of money to temporarily boost his ego, I would guess that would be as good as any thing to do. I personally know several interpreters in Odessa and Kiev who refuse to work these things because in their words "it's so ridiculous".

regards,

Lynn

[tim360z]

... in response to Re: Re: Trip Costs, posted by Lynn on Oct 29, 2001

I have personally met 2 couples who met on a big tour...they got married both 5 and 6 years ago.  Met 7 years ago.  And as of 2 years ago they were still happily married.  However,  I would not use that as an indicator for todays market...things have changed in many ways.  7 years ago the tours were rather new and I beleive that over the years that both the intentions and the quality of women and men who attend them has declined.  In monetary terms the big tours appear to me to be a huge mark-up for those with zero knowledge of the FSU....and even less imagination.

[Lynn]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Trip Costs, posted by tim360z on Oct 29, 2001

I went on my first tour out of curiousity, the second time was due to lack of time in my schedule to even think about planning a trip and a bit of procrastination on my part. My first tour trip was to Ukraine, the second to Moscow------what a joke that was, except the interpreter that I had there--------that lady really rocked my world in a big way.