One month update with my new Peruana wife...

[Chris F]

Well.....It has been one month now since my Peruvian wife arrived in the states. Overall...everything is great and I hope I do not bore anyone here with this update.....I will break this down into categories..

Brief background - Like Jimmy...I met my wife on Matchingsys in December of 2003. She is 32 years old and I am 42. She was completing her Bachelor's degree in Administration in Lima while also working for Fresinius Care...selling Dialysis equipment to Clinic's and Hospitals. She also studied English for six months before her arrival to the United States.

Bachelor Adjustment Process - The hardest part for me was getting used to somebody always being here. I have been a bachelor all my life before getting married a few weeks ago. My wife has done nothing to make that more difficult.....it's just getting used to somebody else always being here...but I am adjusting..and it's all good!!!!!   The house has never been cleaner. She is very sweet, considerate, and the "perfect wife" in every respect.

The first month -  We have really taken care of alot the first month she has been here. We had a quick civil marriage  (Catholic church wedding will take place in January) so I can get her on my medical plan. She has applied for her Social Security number. She  got her Learners Permit on Thursday and is scheduled to take her drivers test in two weeks (she drove in Peru for two years...with her own car). I bought her a used Camry. She is scheduled to start English classes on August 31..five days a week...four hours a day...she wants to be working again within one year....hopefully at the same company because they also have offices in Los Angeles. What has really helped both of us is the fact that I work in education and have been on vacation. The adjustment process for my wife has been easier because I have been here all the time. My wife loves her family in Peru but is not calling home everyday. She calls home about three times a week and talks for about 20 minutes. She is very happy here in her new country with her new husband.


Differences with Latin wives - If you walk the aisle of your local supermarket, chances are you will come across a woman who looks like she just got out of bed. Hair pulled back, no makeup, in sweats and a T-shirt....looking like sh@t because its only the "supermarket"

My wife would never leave the house this way...everywhere she goes..she always looks her best...even if its to the gym. It is so opposite to the way many women here think.

Well...I will keep everyone informed and if anyone has questions...fire away!!!!

[JimmySTLOUIS]

... in response to One month update with my new Peruana  wi..., posted by Chris F on Aug 6, 2005

Congrats again - thanks for the update.

I was thinking that for a guy never been married that this would be a HUGE adjustment. Being married to a peruvian girl is like being married to the tenth power.
I am sure that you both do EVERYTHING together. I know we do. Its great if you like being married (I do).

Also its great that you are off work. I know that my side work, yard work etc has really fallen off.

Keep in touch

TE AMO PERU!!!!!

jim

[jediknight]

... in response to One month update with my new Peruana  wi..., posted by Chris F on Aug 6, 2005

you are right on about LW dressing their best even to goto the supermarket, AW just don't care.
JK

[doombug]

... in response to Re: One month update with my new Peruana..., posted by jediknight on Aug 7, 2005

I've considered buying a decent high-end camera partly for the purpose of capturing some of the stunning beauties in your typical Wal-mart.  It'd make for a eye-opening photo essay.  Their stores have evolved into 150,000 square-foot, trailer-park thrift stores.  And shopping there is like being on the set of The Springer Show.

[Red Clay]

... in response to Re: Re: One month update with my new Per..., posted by doombug on Aug 7, 2005

LOL, you should see the Southeastern version of this cultural phenomenon.

[doombug]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: One month update with my new..., posted by Red Clay on Aug 7, 2005

So, it must be universal then.

Here in northern California, the shabbily dressed and overly chunky shopping clientele come in many shades:  Asian (east and southeast), black, white, hispanic, Pacific Islander, etc.  Surprisingly, the most resistant to Americanization are the women from Moldova and the Ukraine.  Many (if not most) of them are religious refugees, and seem to stick to their own customs and kind.  They seem fearful of American culture, and tend to buy goods from businesses that cater to their community.

Assimilation or multiculturalism.  Either comes with hazards.

[oakham]

... in response to One month update with my new Peruana  wi..., posted by Chris F on Aug 6, 2005

Go to the church aisles not the grocery aisles.  There you will know the path to follow.

[valleydude]

... in response to One month update with my new Peruana  wi..., posted by Chris F on Aug 6, 2005

Cool, Thanks! I was waiting for this.

I was mostly curious if you ended up following through with the marriage and my question has been answered.

I am pretty much banking my vacation days and plan to use the bulk of them when and if I bring a girl here. I pretty much turned things down a notch and taking it all slow. It sounds like you got a lot done and very fast. I'm glad all is well.

V-Dude

[Onephd]

... in response to One month update with my new Peruana  wi..., posted by Chris F on Aug 6, 2005

Hey congrats on everything.  I"m out of town in California now at a conference but just wanted to say thanks for your comments and the telling of your story.  Best of luck and talk to you soon.  

I'll fill you in on my latest trip to Lima when I get back home.  

onephd

[Looking4Wife]

... in response to One month update with my new Peruana  wi..., posted by Chris F on Aug 6, 2005

Congratulations on a great first month!

Thanks for the update.  Don't think you are boring anyone with your update, because your update is EXACTLY what this board is supposed to be about :-)

It is both informative and inspiring to me, and I'm sure to many others.

As always, I encourage people to check out www.MarriageBuilders.com before, after, and during marriage.

You mentioned a "quickie" civil wedding, but did you marry your wife in Peru or the USA?

[Chris F]

... in response to Re: One month update with my new Peruana..., posted by Looking4Wife on Aug 6, 2005

I married her here..she arrived witha K-1 Visa. We had a quik civil marriage so I can have her on my medical plan.

[Dan Las Vegas]

... in response to One month update with my new Peruana  wi..., posted by Chris F on Aug 6, 2005

Hi Chris,

Congratulations on your marriage!  I do have one question for you, what would you say is the biggest challenge your wife has had so far in adapting to life in the state? Appreciate your information,

Dan

[Golden]

... in response to Re: One month update with my new Peruana..., posted by Dan Las Vegas on Aug 6, 2005

Whewwwww, big time adjustment for both. One word, Support, support, support (ok 3 words) You need to be ready to spend a lot of time helping her adjust. Whats that saying "Idle time is the time for the devil" Meaning your latina sits there and cant go anywhere, no family to talk to (her's), and is bored, and your working and not there. Bad things start swirling in their minds. I would help them learn to drive, and get a car and job. That will help out big time. They will still get home sick. But it keeps their mind busy while they adjust, which takes a couple of years.(more so, the first year for us) The first Christmas away, first birthdays away, etc... I dont have the answers, each relationship is diffent, but I know I made calculated moves. I taught her to drive, lessons began first week there. I made sure to take a few vacation days here and there for long weekends to assist with that. I also helped her find a job. Talked to friends, looked in the paper. Helped her with a resume. Drove her there, to teach her how to drive there without getting lost. I helped her get a car about 2 months after being there, so she could get to work. I also moved to an apartment near lot people, because she hated being isolated. I picked one she liked with a swiming pool, and was close to her work. I taught her how to write checks and use debit cards. I helped her open bank account and so she could put her checks in there. I made her responsible for payments, insurance and gas for the car. I also made her responsible for couple of other bills. I think it makes them feel part of things. I would follow up to make sure she did take care of them too, but in a tactful way...... yada yada yada... just a lot little details. After while, they become more comfortable and it helps you big time down the road. You cant be there 24/7 unless maybe your selfemployed. It make things smoother for both.

[Chris F]

... in response to Re: One month update with my new Peruana..., posted by Dan Las Vegas on Aug 6, 2005

I just ask my wife your question. The two areas that have been most difficult with her have been:

My family....she loves them and they love her as well but with her limited English right now.....conversation is a bit difficult...she looks forward to learning more English so she can get to know my family better.

No car and learning her new city......she cannot drive on her own right now...but she will in a few weeks...she wants to be able to go on her own and take care of things. She also needs to learn where her favorite stores are (Target and Costco).....I do not look forward to the day when her favorite store becomes Nortroms!!!

Good luck to you and your search!!!

[Golden]

... in response to One month update with my new Peruana  wi..., posted by Chris F on Aug 6, 2005

Im happy things are starting out well for you. You are taking all the right steps and helping her get settled in. It important she can have a car and drive and that you support her with it. Not having a car in the states is the pits. I wish you the very best in the future. Ive been married 4 years now to a Peruvian lady, best thing I did.