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Author Topic: How to deflect the skeptics?  (Read 3666 times)

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Offline mambocowboy

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Re: How to deflect the skeptics?
« Reply #50 on: April 19, 2018, 06:17:59 PM »
If inquiring minds REALLY want to know, they can shove it up their nosey asses...
Damn straight! If they ask, they shouldn't know...

Offline robert angel

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Re: How to deflect the skeptics?
« Reply #51 on: April 19, 2018, 08:07:41 PM »
I remember being one of those "skeptics" at one time. I always thought the only reason a foreign woman would marry a gringo was to get a green card. Then I went to Mexico to work. I could tell I had more of the ladies interested in me there than in the US. I just chalked it up to them wanting a ride to the US. After spending alot of time there, I saw in some cases this was obvious but not in all cases. Over time my skepticism  was "softened". I realized there was opportunity to find gold if a man took the time to look.

I guess growing up in a pretty internationally mixed family, along with being in or around the NYC area,  all that made mixing with and dating girls/women from all over the world, a non event. But that said, be it dumb macho pride or whatever, I still always wanted to try relationships with women from as many nations and religions as I could manage. Not like I was looking to mark notches in my bedpost, but I most definitely wanted to try ALL the 'flavors'. From Black to Spanish Harlem, to the Jewish princeses and WASPs up in toney Westchester County and anywhere else interesting.

Thank God 'AIDS' hadn't arrived.

Then, going to a really big university brought that along, bringing me exposure to women from the middle east, which was new and interesting to me.  I actually made it a habit to work out at the aquatic center, as a lot of those brownish beauties swum a lot of laps to keep their svelte figures. And I knew they had to come out the pool eventually!

Those women, from outside the strict religious confines of their home countries,  were beautiful and a lot of fun. So were their male middle,eastern counterparts, who I played soccer with and boy, could those dudes party and more often than not, spend money like crazy. The Trans Am, and Vette driving  guys.

But while I was then especially, a very, very social, party animal, I was so buzzed, and I didn't know if it was respect or parody (and I was too 'buzzed' to really care either way) but on the weekends, I was labeled 'El Presidente' LOL. I really thought I was hot sh!t. Now, in college, the 'weekend' starts on Thursday. If that were that the case then, I'd have been 'pickled' from drinking, unable to make good grades, which somehow, I was able to still do. When they offered to pay me to stay for grad school, I didn't blink, staying on, my partying didn't slow a bit.THAT would come back to bite my ass later.

But I had some total knock out girlfriends, most memorably, a Belgian minx, a total fox and brainiac, who I almost married. We even lived together full time, so unlike me. She was the proverbial ' one that got away' --- I  met her family, she met mine, lotsa love, everybody loved Monique. But she warned me to slow down, I didn't and she ended up with her Calculus tutor. They're still married today!

But despite being a bit of a peacock, a jerk and a dandy strutter, I never felt any need to brag about or show pictures of babes I was dating and or bagging.

When I moved to the conservative, Baptist dominated 'old south', I didn't slow down (yet) and I still looked for and somehow found babes from different nations. Made some great 'good ole boy' buddies, but except for a couple real close buds, I never let off that I was particularly 'sweet' on any one foriegn babe.

When the that 'wedding bell sound' started approaching, my choice of a woman from overseas was actually a surprise to almost everyone, to friends and fellow workers. Not proper, but right up to the engagement, I was dating a few simultaneously, even with my second, foreign wife. So my friends and co workers had no idea that I was (or could be) 'serious' about 'that' foriegn girl.

Second time around, I had two young sons. They HAD to know and approve, or sadly, it would've been a 'no go'. My younger son has always been cool with her. But my older boy, just hitting puberty, while he said he was 'cool' with her before the wedding, like hell and boiling oil, he changed his mind and that was beyond tough for my wife.

But looking back, seeing how I lived a larger than life, totally over the top life, I'm surprised that I didn't feel the need to brag or let off that a number of total 'darlings' were MY girl. I was soooo fecking full of myself.

About twenty years ago, it all came to a critical mass--my partying, substances--the drinks were having ME, instead of the other way around, I finally quit totally. I doubt if I'd be here today, had I not.

One day, a July 5th, I said "no more"-- 'done'- no rehab, no AA, cold. Haven't had a drink since. It had cost me Ms. Belgium, sent me, tail between legs, into the deep south and to a large extent, harmed my first marriage, expediting it's end. My wife's sooo glad I'm not 'like that' anymore.

But older and wiser, as well as single again, I realized just how much the 'dating game' had changed. My 'stock value' and to some extent, the women in my area as well, had changed.  That sent me overseas for a woman of the caliber and type I'd most certainly be looking for still, had I not 'got on the plane'

So when yer butt's in a rut, pick yerself up and get that butt on the plane!!! After all, when youre down, the only way you can look is up! And don't give a rat's ass about what anyone else might think. So what if you're fixin to disappear and have to let off. Just tell them all that you're going on 'vacation'. And it won't even be a lie....
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Offline Wildstubby

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Re: How to deflect the skeptics?
« Reply #52 on: April 20, 2018, 04:29:10 AM »
And always remember that variety is the spice of life!

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Re: How to deflect the skeptics?
« Reply #52 on: April 20, 2018, 04:29:10 AM »

Offline Elexpatriado

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Re: How to deflect the skeptics?
« Reply #53 on: April 20, 2018, 06:26:00 AM »
Why the hell do guys care so much what others think?


Isnt that a sign of insecurity?

Offline utopiacowboy

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Re: How to deflect the skeptics?
« Reply #54 on: April 20, 2018, 06:35:02 AM »
Bringing a foreign woman to the US is never going to be looked upon favorably. Americans are an inward looking group who do not travel to other countries (64% have never left the US) and do not welcome immigrants. If you bring a foreign woman here, all people will think is that you are bringing another immigrant along with her family in the following years.


Immigrant bashing and immigrant hatred has gotten worse in recent years especially if she is from a Latin American country and she is not white. Of course in another twenty years the country will no longer be majority white but it's going to be a rough couple of decades. Large areas of the country will still be mostly white and I expect those places will break off from the rest of the country in an attempt to retain an area of white supremacy.

Offline robert angel

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Re: How to deflect the skeptics?
« Reply #55 on: April 20, 2018, 07:53:04 AM »
Bringing a foreign woman to the US is never going to be looked upon favorably. Americans are an inward looking group who do not travel to other countries (64% have never left the US) and do not welcome immigrants. If you bring a foreign woman here, all people will think is that you are bringing another immigrant along with her family in the following years.


Immigrant bashing and immigrant hatred has gotten worse in recent years especially if she is from a Latin American country and she is not white. Of course in another twenty years the country will no longer be majority white but it's going to be a rough couple of decades. Large areas of the country will still be mostly white and I expect those places will break off from the rest of the country in an attempt to retain an area of white supremacy.

But of course! Doesn't everybody realize that it was white men who discovered this 'new world' called the USA and that it was solely their blood, sweat and toil that made this great nation what it is today?---yeah, right. My Irish and Italian grandparents had to read signs that in large, bold print, in the front windows said:

"Help Wanted"--NO Irish or Italians need apply"

Civl rights? No such thing then in reality, and darker skinned people had it even worse. First inkling of a leg up was when they were able to risk their lives fighting wars abroad or gave up their children to do the same, which almost all my uncles did. As did many of my first Cousins, but at least my Cousins were allowed to work in better capacities and earn their way high up into upper military ranks.

In my Grandparent's early days, being allowed to take and pass the civil service exam to become a NYC garbageman, was to them like winning the lotto today.

Actually today, NYC garbagemen, errr "Sanitary Engineers" now make after 5.5 years, an AVERAGE salary of $86, 616 a year!! So maybe most of us, WOULD be better off in that intensely Union comfort protected job! How'd you like to earn that kind of jack at age 23, working for NYC, while living across the river in New Jersey, where homes cost half as much?

But back in the day, it was meager paying, menial labor, without overtime pay or many 'niceties.'

And then again in the earlier days,  when they dared to actually vote in elections, which were still often 'rigged' --maybe getting into the civil service was an option, but only offered to secure their votes, and even then, only IF they passed the exam which was only offered in English.

Early on, my Grandparents were careful to stay out of the sun, as if they had tanned skins, for starters, it meant that they were viewed as lowly, outdoor day labor grunts. They were disrespected, looked down upon and there was NO welfare system. They were viewed as a disposable population for the lowest labor and for war service on the front lines. Good to die.

Wonder who the hell built the railroads, the skylines of our large cities or more recently, like NOW, who picks most of the crops in the USA , processes meat and poultry,  and who frames out and builds the most houses?

Yet somehow, they were able to build the Empire State building in just over one year. Today, it typically takes them at least two years to build an elementary school and more often than not, they're defective from day one of opening. We haven't had a single new school open without AC, Heating, electrical and water leakage issues.

Oh well, that just pertains to what we we eat and where send our children, where we live, small details.

Hell, I see those  Mexicans---standing out in the driving rain, 5:00 in the morning, hoping some contractor will pass by and after looking them over for 'fittness' like the black slaves of yore, and allowing the 'chosen' amongst them to pile into the pick up bed and be paid 'off the books' to do 'labor'.

I've been in the trailers, twenty Mexican, all living together, a big pot of refried beans, rice on the side, counting their cash and coins to send home. How the hell are we gonna be able to throw them all back over 'the wall'???

AND besides, I'd like to smack those non English speaking Mexicans that built my house so poorly. Or... Maybe I shoud punch the white, English speaking foreman who, while sitting in his $75,000, made in Mexico Chevy Silverado,  without knowing any Spanish, using grunts, glances, finger pointing and maybe the Mexican  one guy who understood enough English to serve as a 'go between' -- 'supervised' the construction of my crappy home.

'First come, first served" Unless you're an Indian, God forbid.....Somehow, we couldn't,  still can't kill them off, not ALL the American Indians. But we continue to try! Not being immune to things like the common cold didn't do it, so we gave them the blankets from dead small pox and yellow fever victims. Nope, wasn't enough and drugs, alcohol and the still worst schools in the USA can't exterminate them.

Sooo, we ve given them gambling licenses and now they're fighting each other for control of the money and casino rights. Hey, we're still trying!!
« Last Edit: April 20, 2018, 09:15:15 AM by robert angel »
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Offline Elexpatriado

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Re: How to deflect the skeptics?
« Reply #56 on: April 20, 2018, 09:04:02 AM »
dont have the same situation inCanada.

And Canadian women, despite being very liberated and indocrinated with feminism, only wishme the very best with my relatinships in Latin America..no matter what the age difference.

I guess if you dont throw things in peoples face..and are a genuine good person

Offline fathertime

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Re: How to deflect the skeptics?
« Reply #57 on: April 20, 2018, 09:31:12 AM »
Couldn't come up with a better title. I don't tell many people about P.L. or my long term goal of settling down with/marrying a woman from Latin America.

The few times I have done so I hear all kinds of negative stuff about "green card" marriages and guys getting used, etc.

Yet, the writing is so clearly on the wall as to why this road is a good option. The millennial generation in the U.S.A. is having less sex than any generation in 60 years!

I generally avoid Online Dating in the U.S. but I did recently see a 33 year old woman with this on her profile, "Looking for the fairy tale and I won't settle." A 33 year old in many part of Latin America is over the hill.

Had a conversation with a young woman in the USA recently who said all the information I was getting was biased. The guys on P.L. are just sugarcoating their relationships and not telling the bad parts. Lots of guys are getting cheated on and they don't even know it.

I know the best thing to do is to ingore this kind of thinking...still wondering what kind of negative or disparging remarks have you guys heard over the years? Did your own family and friends tell warn you were setting yourself up to fail with a foreign relationship/marriage?
My thought is not to concern yourself too much with outsider viewpoints.  You can chuckle and roll with some of the more ignorant things said by people who don't know better.   
People with first hand knowledge will have a variety of experiences as well, and obviously some are good, bad, and middle of the road. 
Overall it seems you have educated yourself to know enough of the pitfalls, and upsides, but there is always more to learn. 
Short term trainwrecks, long term trainwrecks, happily ever afters, bliss then peaceful parting of the ways, there are many outcomes, and really in my opinion it doesn't matter that much. 
It seems your 'calling' is to make a foreign relationship happen, if it were me, I'd double up, and get on the horse and make it happen.  Roll the dice.  Time is not your friend.  All outcomes are survivable, while time on the fence is lost for good.  Although that may be my attitude,  you know your own personality, resilience, so personality characteristics does need to be a top consideration for each individual...so approaches should vary based on how well you can recover if a relationship goes down the crapper.   


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Offline benjio

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Re: How to deflect the skeptics?
« Reply #58 on: April 20, 2018, 11:06:32 AM »
dont have the same situation inCanada.

And Canadian women, despite being very liberated and indocrinated with feminism, only wishme the very best with my relatinships in Latin America..no matter what the age difference.

I guess if you dont throw things in peoples face..and are a genuine good person


I recently spent a lot of time in Canada for work. A month in Montreal and 6 weeks in Vancouver. I agree with you 100%. I spoke to quite a few women in Montreal because our facilities there have a staff of about 90% women and almost all the women working at the hotel where we stayed were very attractive. As a matter of fact there were really hot women everywhere we went in Montreal. I had no idea French Canadian Women were so gorgeous. I spoke to quite a few of them about international dating and they were very open minded about it. In Vancouver, with a significant percentage of the population being from China or having Chinese ancestry, bringing women from other countries is a way of life. The Chinese, the Indians, the Filipinos, the Japanese....they all do it there.

Offline utopiacowboy

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Re: How to deflect the skeptics?
« Reply #59 on: April 20, 2018, 01:04:56 PM »

I recently spent a lot of time in Canada for work. A month in Montreal and 6 weeks in Vancouver. I agree with you 100%. I spoke to quite a few women in Montreal because our facilities there have a staff of about 90% women and almost all the women working at the hotel where we stayed were very attractive. As a matter of fact there were really hot women everywhere we went in Montreal. I had no idea French Canadian Women were so gorgeous. I spoke to quite a few of them about international dating and they were very open minded about it. In Vancouver, with a significant percentage of the population being from China or having Chinese ancestry, bringing women from other countries is a way of life. The Chinese, the Indians, the Filipinos, the Japanese....they all do it there.


Canada is everything the US should be but isn't. If it wasn't for the climate I would move back to Montreal and live there. I may buy a place up there and stay six months of the year just to get out of this insane asylum.

Offline robert angel

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Re: How to deflect the skeptics?
« Reply #60 on: April 21, 2018, 08:49:40 AM »

Canada is everything the US should be but isn't. If it wasn't for the climate I would move back to Montreal and live there. I may buy a place up there and stay six months of the year just to get out of this insane asylum.

Now that they've got unemployment down to its lowest levels in forty years, hopefully an already great Canada will get even better. I went to school in Ontario for a while and my wife enjoys vacationing there as much as I do. Doubt if we'll ever see all of Yong Street, which starts in Toronto and is the world's longest road, LOL. But we've tried!

Such a large land mass, so few people. Hopefully they'll continue to get a handle on immigration, bringing in people who are already able and willing to work, or can be trained.

People in general seem so much nicer there and regardless of ethnicity, seem to get along with each other better than here.

Banff and Montreal are on our short list, but Montreal so popular that finding a hotel room there in the summer's often difficult.  Sort of a closer, less expensive version of western Europe, but we'll probably get to W. Europe first.
« Last Edit: April 21, 2018, 09:02:36 AM by robert angel »
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Offline Calipro

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Re: How to deflect the skeptics?
« Reply #61 on: April 21, 2018, 09:34:44 AM »

How to deflect the skeptics?

Just show them articles like this....even if you do get divorced....it is usually less expensive than if you had married a woman from another country. Just based on the fact that she will have less access to credit.

https://www.marketwatch.com/story/i-paid-off-my-wifes-student-loans-then-she-filed-for-divorce-after-two-years-of-marriage-2018-04-21



Offline robert angel

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Re: How to deflect the skeptics?
« Reply #62 on: April 21, 2018, 10:23:57 AM »
How to deflect the skeptics?

Just show them articles like this....even if you do get divorced....it is usually less expensive than if you had married a woman from another country. Just based on the fact that she will have less access to credit.

https://www.marketwatch.com/story/i-paid-off-my-wifes-student-loans-then-she-filed-for-divorce-after-two-years-of-marriage-2018-04-21


It can happen. I think I've told the story about the Russian blonde bombshell--she had legs so long that you had to stop at the knees and ask for directions---anyways, she met some poor rube here he married her, brought her over, adopted her child. Then, he signed for something like a quarter million in Medical school student loans. I imagine med school's more expensive now.

But before she even was graduated and practicing, she dumped him, leaving him with the student loans AND still having to support her and pay full child support.

Personally, I'm very wary of Eastern European, of former USSR nation's women. Centuries of deception, spy craft, wiley ways, often hard scrabble lives in a very misygonist world, do not often make for well adjusted young ladies.

That said, I think some of the, if not THE hottest looking women, come from Hungary and Czechslovakia. I almost ended up with an incredibly beautiful half Russian, half Asian  woman from Kazakhstan, a still communist, former USSR satellite nation, with lots of the above described problems. China's gotten better, but I'm still wary there too.

But ooh la la, Kazakhstan Leyla could've had King Kong eating out of her hand like a puppy...Mmm, mmm, mm...
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Re: How to deflect the skeptics?
« Reply #62 on: April 21, 2018, 10:23:57 AM »

Offline Elexpatriado

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Re: How to deflect the skeptics?
« Reply #63 on: April 21, 2018, 06:49:56 PM »
Now that they've got unemployment down to its lowest levels in forty years, hopefully an already great Canada will get even better. I went to school in Ontario for a while and my wife enjoys vacationing there as much as I do. Doubt if we'll ever see all of Yong Street, which starts in Toronto and is the world's longest road, LOL. But we've tried!

Such a large land mass, so few people. Hopefully they'll continue to get a handle on immigration, bringing in people who are already able and willing to work, or can be trained.

People in general seem so much nicer there and regardless of ethnicity, seem to get along with each other better than here.

Banff and Montreal are on our short list, but Montreal so popular that finding a hotel room there in the summer's often difficult.  Sort of a closer, less expensive version of western Europe, but we'll probably get to W. Europe first.

Lets not get too carried away..it is a false economy ..mostly .public employment and real estate speculation ..no way near as economicallly diversified ss the US..and taxes and cost of living and taxes way higher than the US..especially in "La Belle Provence"

But still the way some of you guys complain about fat women.and Feminism.and Jealous women in the US..Canada doesnt sound so bad in this regard

Offline Elexpatriado

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Re: How to deflect the skeptics?
« Reply #64 on: April 21, 2018, 07:01:36 PM »
How to deflect the skeptics?

Just show them articles like this....even if you do get divorced....it is usually less expensive than if you had married a woman from another country. Just based on the fact that she will have less access to credit.

https://www.marketwatch.com/story/i-paid-off-my-wifes-student-loans-then-she-filed-for-divorce-after-two-years-of-marriage-2018-04-21



Ja ja..if this is a true story..the b1tch thought she could get away with his house and pension after only 2.years marriage.

Many Colombian wlmen would jump at this opportunity too, if you let them.

Offline robert angel

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Re: How to deflect the skeptics?
« Reply #65 on: April 21, 2018, 07:37:31 PM »
Lets not get too carried away..it is a false economy ..mostly .public employment and real estate speculation ..no way near as economicallly diversified ss the US..and taxes and cost of living and taxes way higher than the US..especially in "La Belle Provence"

But still the way some of you guys complain about fat women.and Feminism.and Jealous women in the US..Canada doesnt sound so bad in this regard

It wasn't feminism that appeared to be an issue in the 70's and 80s in the USA or Canada, when I was in my teens and early 20s living there, going to school etc. Just seemed the girls in school and in the clubs were a lot prettier and perhaps a bit nicer natured as well. A lot less immigrant cuties than now, but a lot of blondes for sure. The beer was better and exchange rate for USD was good too.
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Offline robert angel

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Re: How to deflect the skeptics?
« Reply #66 on: April 21, 2018, 08:04:39 PM »


The USA economy is all smoke and mirrors, creative accounting. Unlike a while back, the US Govt. is not required to tell the world just how much money, how much 'legal tender' they're rolling out, but they're probably akin to toilet paper figures.

Then again, so many govt. released figures aren't even able to be substantiad by available cash reserves, they're just figures they bounce around.The old ledger balance switcheroo...

As long as the USD remains the world's 'Reserve Currency ' everyone will probably continue to play along with our silly shell game, although some other nations also engage in 'creative accounting'. It's not until the scheme becomes increasingly apparent, as inflation rears it's ugly rear, that it starts to hit the fan.
« Last Edit: April 21, 2018, 08:15:42 PM by robert angel »
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Offline Calipro

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Re: How to deflect the skeptics?
« Reply #67 on: April 21, 2018, 08:29:29 PM »

Ja ja..if this is a true story..the b1tch thought she could get away with his house and pension after only 2.years marriage.

Many Colombian wlmen would jump at this opportunity too, if you let them.


Why wouldn’t you think it’s a true story
She is American
Could have been a lot worst actually
She could have run up debt while she was married and he would have had to pay half of that also
« Last Edit: April 21, 2018, 08:43:09 PM by Calipro »

Offline Hector_Lavoe

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Re: How to deflect the skeptics?
« Reply #68 on: April 22, 2018, 10:24:40 PM »

Short term trainwrecks, long term trainwrecks, happily ever afters, bliss then peaceful parting of the ways, there are many outcomes, and really in my opinion it doesn't matter that much. 
It seems your 'calling' is to make a foreign relationship happen, if it were me, I'd double up, and get on the horse and make it happen.  Roll the dice.  Time is not your friend.  All outcomes are survivable, while time on the fence is lost for good.  Although that may be my attitude,  you know your own personality, resilience, so personality characteristics does need to be a top consideration for each individual...so approaches should vary based on how well you can recover if a relationship goes down the crapper.   


Great post...and great point about time on the fence.

Offline Hector_Lavoe

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Re: How to deflect the skeptics?
« Reply #69 on: April 22, 2018, 10:35:58 PM »
How to deflect the skeptics?

Just show them articles like this....even if you do get divorced....it is usually less expensive than if you had married a woman from another country. Just based on the fact that she will have less access to credit.

https://www.marketwatch.com/story/i-paid-off-my-wifes-student-loans-then-she-filed-for-divorce-after-two-years-of-marriage-2018-04-21


I went out on a date with a 27 year old Latina about 3 weeks ago...here in Los Angeles. She has an older brother who is 40 years old and a cop with the LAPD.

Apparently, he got married at 30 to a 23 year old girl. A local girl from the USA, no green card issues, etc. He was the provider. She didn't work. He paid for her nice BMW and even paid for a private trainer for her fitness activities. Well, turns out she was cheating on him with the private trainer!  He filed for divorce instatnly upon finding out. They had no kids. He is now single and a bachelor again.

I asked her how her brother caught the wife cheating but she didn't know the details. 
« Last Edit: April 22, 2018, 10:38:04 PM by Hector_Lavoe »

Offline robert angel

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Re: How to deflect the skeptics?
« Reply #70 on: April 23, 2018, 06:25:32 AM »
I went out on a date with a 27 year old Latina about 3 weeks ago...here in Los Angeles. She has an older brother who is 40 years old and a cop with the LAPD.

Apparently, he got married at 30 to a 23 year old girl. A local girl from the USA, no green card issues, etc. He was the provider. She didn't work. He paid for her nice BMW and even paid for a private trainer for her fitness activities. Well, turns out she was cheating on him with the private trainer!  He filed for divorce instatnly upon finding out. They had no kids. He is now single and a bachelor again.

I asked her how her brother caught the wife cheating but she didn't know the details.

Co workers, personal trainers and nannies, are a fairly common source of extra marital afffairs, and it's not just in hollywood. Quite a long time ago, we thought of hiring a live in nanny. My ex wife's first requirements for any prospective nanny were that she be fat, ugly and older.

Hiring a 'private'--'personal' opposite sex personal trainer is almost asking for trouble, but even same-sex ones are possibly bi, gay. Regardless, they often let the client vent all about their issues with their spouse, which isn't their purpose.

It's not just the kid who cleans the pool anymore.
« Last Edit: April 23, 2018, 06:30:04 AM by robert angel »
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Offline Elexpatriado

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Re: How to deflect the skeptics?
« Reply #71 on: April 23, 2018, 06:45:53 AM »
if you gotta worry abiut your gf or wife fochln the personal trainer...or pool boy..or coworkers.time to say "next"..

if she wont be fochin one of them she be fochin someone else and she be a puta and time to get her out of your "bread line".

Offline Calipro

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Re: How to deflect the skeptics?
« Reply #72 on: April 23, 2018, 09:44:19 AM »

 Quite a long time ago, we thought of hiring a live in nanny. My ex wife's first requirements for any prospective nanny were that she be fat, ugly and older.



That's the same same first requirement of almost any Colombian wife here. The only guys I know that have attractive maids are single and yeah they are shagging them. jajaja


Colombian women are much more logical about fidelity.....they assume that if you are tempted and have ample opportunity....you are going to indulge.


Then on occasion you have the ones that say they trust you..... which really means they don't care if you cheat and of course they expect the same trust from you. LOL!


They are really open relationships here....but everybody pretends they are not. Just in case someone might get offended.  :o


Any chick in Colombia that is OK with you going out at night to hang out with your friends without her....doesn't really care if you are seeing other women.

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Re: How to deflect the skeptics?
« Reply #72 on: April 23, 2018, 09:44:19 AM »

Offline benjio

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Re: How to deflect the skeptics?
« Reply #73 on: April 23, 2018, 10:19:03 AM »
Apparently, he got married at 30 to a 23 year old girl. A local girl from the USA, no green card issues, etc. He was the provider. She didn't work. He paid for her nice BMW and even paid for a private trainer for her fitness activities. Well, turns out she was cheating on him with the private trainer!  He filed for divorce instatnly upon finding out. They had no kids. He is now single and a bachelor again.


I not only know a guy this happened to but I've heard this story a million times. My friend's wife cheated with her personal trainer once (she claims) and she was so ridden with guilt that she admitted it to him. I sincerely believe she was very much so in love with my friend and just had a moment of weakness. After a couple of years of marriage counseling he decided to forgive her and they've been married 11 years now. Obviously there were kids involved so there was a lot of motivation on both sides to make the marriage work. He's a better man than me. I can't forgive infidelity. Even if it's a one time thing and not a full blown affair. If I figure it out....it's over.


One thing he told me I'll never forget though: If your girlfriend/wife insist on staying in shape to the point she wants a personal trainer, that's a wonderful problem to have. But get her a female trainer. There are literally tons of them in every major city. The advantages are endless. They'll be able to relate to them better physiologically and empathize with the many struggles women have with body image and unrealistic expectations of beauty. But more importantly, she won't be placed in an intense, sexually charged situation with another man 2 or 3 times a week. The sweat. The hormones. The adrenaline. There's probably not a better recipe for a quicky at the nearest motel if you're talking about two people that are already attracted to one another. And if it's good sex, if there's chemistry...there's a chance it will become habitual. Women are human. They can become victims of their own carnal desires just like us. The best way for either gender to remain faithful is not placing themselves in situations where having sex with someone other than your significant other is so enticing.


When I was in Rio dating the mother of my son she had a friend I had to act like I absolutely hated. I told my ex I didn't want to be around her at all....NEVER! The truth is I wanted to #$@& her brains out so bad that just making eye contact with her would increase my heart rate and make my palms sweat. And although she never said anything I'm pretty sure the feeling was mutual. Long, drawn out eye contact. She'd find any little excuse to touch me and would always look into my eyes afterwards then too. Playing with her hair anytime she spoke to me. Bending over to pick things up in front of me. Laughing at all my jokes. She would always show up places when I was with my ex and almost never show up when my ex would meet friends without me. And this chick could have had any guy she wanted. I mean ANYONE!! I could not have drawn a woman who was more my type physically. Even the sound of her voice would set me off. It made no sense to me why she acted that way.  I even thought they were trying to set me up at one point. I didn't want to hurt my ex though. I really didn't want to mess that up. I had to do what I had to do to make sure it never happened. Because honestly, if placed in that situation, no way in hell I could have resisted.


All that said I tend to agree with Elex. If there's even an inkling of something like that rattling around in your head about your woman, it's time to have that talk. It's not worth the stress.
« Last Edit: April 23, 2018, 10:35:56 AM by benjio »

Offline mambocowboy

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Re: How to deflect the skeptics?
« Reply #74 on: April 23, 2018, 11:16:49 AM »

I not only know a guy this happened to but I've heard this story a million times. My friend's wife cheated with her personal trainer once (she claims) and she was so ridden with guilt that she admitted it to him. I sincerely believe she was very much so in love with my friend and just had a moment of weakness. After a couple of years of marriage counseling he decided to forgive her and they've been married 11 years now. Obviously there were kids involved so there was a lot of motivation on both sides to make the marriage work. He's a better man than me. I can't forgive infidelity. Even if it's a one time thing and not a full blown affair. If I figure it out....it's over.


One thing he told me I'll never forget though: If your girlfriend/wife insist on staying in shape to the point she wants a personal trainer, that's a wonderful problem to have. But get her a female trainer. There are literally tons of them in every major city. The advantages are endless. They'll be able to relate to them better physiologically and empathize with the many struggles women have with body image and unrealistic expectations of beauty. But more importantly, she won't be placed in an intense, sexually charged situation with another man 2 or 3 times a week. The sweat. The hormones. The adrenaline. There's probably not a better recipe for a quicky at the nearest motel if you're talking about two people that are already attracted to one another. And if it's good sex, if there's chemistry...there's a chance it will become habitual. Women are human. They can become victims of their own carnal desires just like us. The best way for either gender to remain faithful is not placing themselves in situations where having sex with someone other than your significant other is so enticing.


When I was in Rio dating the mother of my son she had a friend I had to act like I absolutely hated. I told my ex I didn't want to be around her at all....NEVER! The truth is I wanted to #$@& her brains out so bad that just making eye contact with her would increase my heart rate and make my palms sweat. And although she never said anything I'm pretty sure the feeling was mutual. Long, drawn out eye contact. She'd find any little excuse to touch me and would always look into my eyes afterwards then too. Playing with her hair anytime she spoke to me. Bending over to pick things up in front of me. Laughing at all my jokes. She would always show up places when I was with my ex and almost never show up when my ex would meet friends without me. And this chick could have had any guy she wanted. I mean ANYONE!! I could not have drawn a woman who was more my type physically. Even the sound of her voice would set me off. It made no sense to me why she acted that way.  I even thought they were trying to set me up at one point. I didn't want to hurt my ex though. I really didn't want to mess that up. I had to do what I had to do to make sure it never happened. Because honestly, if placed in that situation, no way in hell I could have resisted.


All that said I tend to agree with Elex. If there's even an inkling of something like that rattling around in your head about your woman, it's time to have that talk. It's not worth the stress.

Jaja. My wife had an attractive Cuban friend, former professional dancer, who was very sexy. They had a falling out which was just as well because it removed the temptation...I am actually glad my wife's female friends friends are older and not sexy... As for personal trainers, from what Ive observed,  alot are total horndogs who flirt constantly and have no problem banging hot clients, even married ones....

 

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