Considering age difference

[dewey4350]

Ok I know this is a old post from Ray, but I would love to hear opinions and consideration from all married and single men. I am 55 and Ive been seeing like ladies in there 30's. To much difference or just right . With that kind of age difference the trial and tribulations ,,,,,

[robert angel]

We're in that ball park range and going on nine years now, things are still quite good. I think a great deal has to do with the woman--how grounded she is, her up bringing, basically the family values and friends she's been around.
 
If she saw her parents separate or have affairs and/or if her friends do that sort of thing, I'd worry that she kind of thinks "that's the way it often goes" and when your relationship hits a rough spot as they all do eventually, it will effect how she reacts. My wife checks out on all the above real well, but the reality of living in the USA means she has known for a while that the options are different here. For starters, she knows divorce is common in the USA and the woman often gets material things from it.

Back home, there's no divorce, annulments take seven years--if you have a whole lot of money it takes to pursue one and then there's no guarantee they'll be approved. Meanwhile, your separated husband doesn't have to give you or if you have kids, a damn cent.

I don't have any issues now and even before my successful back surgery had me in a bad way, she was as true blue as could be, but I can't help but wonder and worry about way down the line, say when I'm 75 or so, what it'll be like--if continued exposure to life in the USA and our age difference will catch up with us. She talks in very frank and open terms about the reality of aging and how she'll take care of me, etc., but I still worry--guess it's my nature after my first marriage ended badly.

If the woman's exceptional and you've taken enough time to really come to that conclusion, I'd say go for it. If not as sure as you can reasonably be, I'd say don't allow more than 15 years difference if you're say, between ages 40 and 60.

[kai #2]

Can we add a topic or thread to the board or to each individual region for FAQ's like this one ? A real quick search brought up over 40 pages of results, no need to re-hashing these same ol' questions with the same ole answer again and again

[whitey]

Something to keep in mind is your retirement.  If you don't have a great pension, a lot of money, or a big inheritance coming ... then you are going to have to pay both your expenses.  Unless you plan on her working while you play golf.


The retirement age in Canada is 67 and my wife won't get even a crappy gov't pension until I am 80.  I want to retire in my 60's and enjoy the company of my wife, which means I need to save a LOT of money over the next few years.

[Jhengsman]

Ok I know this is a old post from Ray, but I would love to hear opinions and consideration from all married and single men. I am 55 and Ive been seeing like ladies in there 30's. To much difference or just right . With that kind of age difference the trial and tribulations ,,,,,

In their 30s, Filipinas , have a biological clock ticking away next to the cultural clock with the alarms already sounding. She is past the local window of being in the most desirable age to marry. Socially it is better to be a single mother than being seen as unable to lure any man. Now if she is already a mother there is a less intense push for you to do a husbandry duty of reproducing. What other generational concerns you may add to cultural concerns? Who knows, that is personal to the couple.

[dewey4350]

Well KIA I dont mean to bother you actually all I wanted was age differences and if it can be done. I myself am not new to the forum or the filipines. I am a little twisted on my decision to take a wife. I have had a five year divorce going on here in the states and trust me the last thing I want to do is ever have another. I know Robert married a younger wife and she is pretty and the trials he goes through with her. Basically its all good. So far I have seen a ex beauty queen and she turned out to be so different that we were not compatable. I also seen a proffesional chef from Davao that eventually lied to me which ended abruptly. Now I just look. I've been going over there the last five years and its something like 7 trips now. I am considering two ladies that both have children. They are both in there 30's. One being 6 years older than the other. Id also like to know how they adapt when they get here?  Eventually the new wears off and the old is not good enough anymore....As you can tell I'm in no mood for just a sex toy I want a lady, Im not a business professional I've worked for everything I have. It understandable, I hope your impatients don't effect everyone!

[robert angel]

Well KIA I dont mean to bother you actually all I wanted was age differences and if it can be done. I myself am not new to the forum or the filipines. I am a little twisted on my decision to take a wife. I have had a five year divorce going on here in the states and trust me the last thing I want to do is ever have another. I know Robert married a younger wife and she is pretty and the trials he goes through with her. Basically its all good. So far I have seen a ex beauty queen and she turned out to be so different that we were not compatable. I also seen a proffesional chef from Davao that eventually lied to me which ended abruptly. Now I just look. I've been going over there the last five years and its something like 7 trips now. I am considering two ladies that both have children. They are both in there 30's. One being 6 years older than the other. Id also like to know how they adapt when they get here?  Eventually the new wears off and the old is not good enough anymore....As you can tell I'm in no mood for just a sex toy I want a lady, Im not a business professional I've worked for everything I have. It understandable, I hope your impatients don't effect everyone!

Dewey,

Heya Dewey, knowing you, having spoken with you a number of times aside from here ( been a while though, stranger)  I know you didn't mean it to sound as drastic--awful as it sounds-->

                                                  ""the trials he goes through with her""

If anything, I'm the one, along with my sons, who put her through 'Trials'. Sure I occasionally upset her--but  wouldn't remotely say she's going through 'trials'. Most importantly, when she does get upset (rare) she's over it by the next day, thank God. Those 'few days of the month' are a little different, but we're not going through any trials so to speak here. In fact with a lot of our already purposefully small group of friends moving out of state, and a son finishing High School driving himself around and working too, we're more than ever in a 'It's just you and me, Honey" kind of stage about now.

But who knows down the line? Nothing is permanent--people change, drift closer, drift apart, etc. As said once in a while I might tick her off, but then the next day she might be talking about us when I'm 75--80 years old and how we'll be.

And never forget most Filipinas expect intimacy and the younger they are (although a lot of Filipinas really enjoy it into their 60's), the more they'll typically want it. Some say--and I don't think that this applies to ALL Filipinas, that if you can't deliver the goods, or don't do so enough, she'll find someone who can. Many see it as not just a need, but as a marital obligation they relish and expect. Just giving you a heads up for you to consider now--and years down the road...