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Author Topic: Good questions to ask her?  (Read 1048 times)

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Offline DRGUY1

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Good questions to ask her?
« on: August 10, 2013, 10:16:42 AM »



After much deliberation, I'm finally now making my travel plans to visit an agency in Bogota next month.


Although, I like about 20-25 ladies on the site, I thought I'd start with 6-8 Introductions first, before I commit too much time just to introductions, so I have more time to spend with someone if we connect.


Now I'm thinking what are some good questions to ask.


How would your friends describe you to me?
Why are you considering a foreign man for your life?
What are your thoughts on moving to another country and away from your country?
Tell me about your family?
What activity or trip have you not done but have always wanted to?
Tell me about what your personal/family goals are?
What are your thoughts about the US?
If you could change one thing about you, what would it be?


I do think that people always reveal themselves if you listen carefully to what they say.
I'd like to know what questions you would ask? maybe this could be a good reference thread for others, if this does not already exist.


Cheers






Offline pchip

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Re: Good questions to ask her?
« Reply #1 on: August 11, 2013, 01:14:54 AM »
When I was looking, I'd taken a few from Jamie's website.  Bogotanas are different from Barranquilleras so keep in mind.  I'd translated them to Spanish (as it wasn't nearly as good as what I have now) and put them in an Excel doc, and each woman had their own sheet with their answers so I could counter analyze later on.  Though that was easy to do while chatting, I'd assume that F2F meets would go rather differently.


However, the question list is a very personal one, and I think everybody will have their own set.  Case in point, you haven't asked anything about children (if you or her have, if she wants, what timeframe...)



Buena Suerte!

Offline V_Man

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Re: Good questions to ask her?
« Reply #2 on: August 11, 2013, 04:53:31 AM »
Disclaimer: I have never used an agency.

If you like 25 of them, I suggest you ask to meet them all. Some will not happen so the actual number will be less. Perhaps you already realise this but I thought I'd mention it.

Secondly I might struggle with some of those questions myself.

"If you could change one thing about you, what would it be?"
Personally I don't think like this. I don't go around wishing I was someone else but I wouldn't want to sound vain so how should I answer? - "No se". Now I sound like an air head. Oh brilliant!!! I'm really enjoying this - NOT! Bit of a conversation killer that one.

It is not a job interview.

What I am suggesting is to be yourself. Don't make it into a test or interrogation for her. Focus on her vibe rather than trying to be too clever. Ask her about family and stuff that she might enjoy talking about. Just get her talking and focus on her body language. Initially the details are less important than the vibe between you both.
Just my 2c.

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Re: Good questions to ask her?
« Reply #2 on: August 11, 2013, 04:53:31 AM »

Offline Ricardo1

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Re: Good questions to ask her?
« Reply #3 on: August 11, 2013, 06:09:47 AM »
I agree with some of the responses to this post.  I also looked at the questions of Jaimie's site and the list is very thorough.  He did caution, however, to be careful in asking those question, so that it doesn't come across like too much of an interview...
Along with VM some of the questions, posed at the wrong time in a less than tactful manner could kill the conversation and any further chances of getting to know each other. 
So, nothing wrong with having lots of questions, but how to go about it....
 
I also like the idea of the Excel spreadsheet ...  well, kinda...

Offline bcc_1_2

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Re: Good questions to ask her?
« Reply #4 on: August 11, 2013, 10:04:07 AM »
Well if you have to use an excel spreadsheet I do get the impression myself that your first dates could feel more like interviews. That could suck the romance right out of the air which is not a good thing in latina-land.
Community/Climate based questions are pretty important though and you can memorize those among a few other important questions to you . The concept is to ask open ended questions so that she can't figure out what you think is the correct response.
Especially if you are paying for a "package" you should give the agency your full list and have them arrange as many dates in the first couple days as possible. Just in general... getting in front of as many single women as possible your first 2 or 3 days in town is ideal. Internet, newspaper, agency... get in front of as many as you can. That's one reason it is perfect if you can start your vacation early and fly-in on a Friday. Then you have two full days in front of you that the agency needs to fill.
One date and hour from 9 am to 9 pm where you offer her a beverage and a fancy snack at the office or go to a nearby coffee shop/café... do that for 2 straight days and you are off to a great start.
Retiring in Tela, Honduras is 14,600 days (haha)

Offline Chris F

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Re: Good questions to ask her?
« Reply #5 on: August 11, 2013, 10:15:01 AM »
When I was looking, I'd taken a few from Jamie's website.  Bogotanas are different from Barranquilleras so keep in mind.  I'd translated them to Spanish (as it wasn't nearly as good as what I have now) and put them in an Excel doc, and each woman had their own sheet with their answers so I could counter analyze later on.  Though that was easy to do while chatting, I'd assume that F2F meets would go rather differently.
P Chip I have to agree with what V Man stated here. This is not a job interview.

I have seen this take place at Nelsons agency when I was looking in Bogota back in the day. Some guy had a 20 page questionaire in Spanish ready for the woman when they showed up to the agency. My friends and I at the agency would have a beer ready to watch the SHOCK on the womans faces when they were ask to fill it out a questionaire when they first arrived to meet this guy. It was classic!!

P Chip when you had dates in the USA would you have a questionaire to give them as well?

Any questions that you may have for her should come out naturally on your conversation with her on the first few dates. Just like when you dated women here...period!!!
Questionaires are not the way of building romance and chemistry with most woman you meet for the first time.
« Last Edit: August 11, 2013, 10:59:22 AM by Chris F »

Offline Ricardo1

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Re: Good questions to ask her?
« Reply #6 on: August 11, 2013, 11:00:39 AM »
Chris,
 
You've got that right.  I think questions are good to elicit information that you need to know, etc.  but if the poster is gonna pop one question after another, any sensible Latina would walk away from the date.   
I rather would have questions in my head, translated into Spanish of course, and when the time was right, like you said, Chris, those questions would and (should probably) be asked.  I think ladies from any agency are probably not shocked by the interview type of date; they are likely to have experienced it at some time.  However, its a turn off for them. 
Jaimie makes the observation on his website that guys are more likely than Colombianas to want to ask questions.  He writes the following:  http://www.latin-wife.com/Hispanic-women.asp
 She should answer all your questions and have questions herself. We provide the women with similar questions, but Hispanics are not an inquisitive culture, and you will get less inquiry from them. The learning and questions should be ongoing, and her actions should coincide with her answers.

Offline fathertime

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Re: Good questions to ask her?
« Reply #7 on: August 11, 2013, 01:31:43 PM »
I can recall back in around 2005 writing some comments about an older man doing some interviews in Cali, and having a script that he used…I thought it was a completely stupid way to interact with women and still do…BUT that guy was unattractive and in his 60’s and ‘interviewing’ women in their 20’s and 30’s…I can’t imagine him scoring a good looking woman in any way but some sort of business ‘arrangement’ so I guess the script helped keep things businesslike. 


Fathertime! 
09/08 saw morena goddess on Jamie's website
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Offline DRGUY1

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Re: Good questions to ask her?
« Reply #8 on: August 11, 2013, 02:08:03 PM »



I agree with the replies/advice...I'm really wanting to see the chemistry and how we are able to communicate naturally.


I do think questions are good conversation starters and will automatically lead to more information. I don't want this to come off like a job interview as that could kill any romance or chemistry.


I think the best advice I've gotten here, is to make this fun, view it as a vacation with no expectations and I'll most likely enjoy it much more.


I'm a good conversationalist so I have no worries...So far, about 95% of all the ladies I want to meet are very interested in meeting me.


Maybe I bump it up to 15-20 ladies, as you guy's have been there and probably know best.






Offline pchip

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Re: Good questions to ask her?
« Reply #9 on: August 11, 2013, 08:21:17 PM »
P Chip I have to agree with what V Man stated here. This is not a job interview.

I have seen this take place at Nelsons agency when I was looking in Bogota back in the day. Some guy had a 20 page questionaire in Spanish ready for the woman when they showed up to the agency. My friends and I at the agency would have a beer ready to watch the SHOCK on the womans faces when they were ask to fill it out a questionaire when they first arrived to meet this guy. It was classic!!

P Chip when you had dates in the USA would you have a questionaire to give them as well?

Any questions that you may have for her should come out naturally on your conversation with her on the first few dates. Just like when you dated women here...period!!!
Questionaires are not the way of building romance and chemistry with most woman you meet for the first time.


Chris, VMan


I've never stated that I was filling them with questions, au contraire, I was deliberately asking a couple questions here and there over the course of several online conversations, the list allowed me to keep up between the ladies and not ask the same question twice (or miss one). 


As I said, I was chatting online with them, which made the Excel sheet a usable feature, whereas F2F, an Excel sheet wouldn't cut it (and I agree with that point).


Heck, looking at my Fiancée's sheet, it's half empty :)

Offline Researcher

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Re: Good questions to ask her?
« Reply #10 on: August 12, 2013, 05:38:33 AM »
I can recall back in around 2005 writing some comments about an older man doing some interviews in Cali, and having a script that he used…I thought it was a completely stupid way to interact with women and still do…BUT that guy was unattractive and in his 60’s and ‘interviewing’ women in their 20’s and 30’s…I can’t imagine him scoring a good looking woman in any way but some sort of business ‘arrangement’ so I guess the script helped keep things businesslike. 


Fathertime!

Asking questions in an interview type setting is rather silly. I agree. It is best to just allow this kind of thing to come up in a conversation. The women are usually just as curious and want to know things too. Doing it like a job interview probably wouldn't be effective. When asked questions in that manner people usually just say what they think the other person wants to hear instead of giving a truthful answer.
Every man has his own courage, and is betrayed because he seeks in himself the courage of other persons. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Offline JWR

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Re: Good questions to ask her?
« Reply #11 on: August 12, 2013, 08:44:55 AM »
Dr.
 
Don't worry, it will be impossible to kill the romance and chemistry if you tell them that you are a Dr.  The only way to really kill the romance is if you tell them you are broke...ha ha.
 


I agree with the replies/advice...I'm really wanting to see the chemistry and how we are able to communicate naturally.


I do think questions are good conversation starters and will automatically lead to more information. I don't want this to come off like a job interview as that could kill any romance or chemistry.


I think the best advice I've gotten here, is to make this fun, view it as a vacation with no expectations and I'll most likely enjoy it much more.


I'm a good conversationalist so I have no worries...So far, about 95% of all the ladies I want to meet are very interested in meeting me.


Maybe I bump it up to 15-20 ladies, as you guy's have been there and probably know best.

Offline robert angel

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Re: Good questions to ask her?
« Reply #12 on: August 12, 2013, 09:09:33 AM »
Doc--you ought to be OK--just don't let that 'Dr.' label go to your head. We used to have 'beat downs' on my buddies about mid, third year of Med School, after they started regularly spouting stuff like "I can save lives"....You know the difference between God and a Dr.? "God KNOWS he's not a Dr."
"Stupid is as stupid does"

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Re: Good questions to ask her?
« Reply #12 on: August 12, 2013, 09:09:33 AM »

Offline DRGUY1

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Re: Good questions to ask her?
« Reply #13 on: August 12, 2013, 10:55:42 PM »



Ha too funny...I'm going to be careful not to discuss my financial situation or  disclose any signs of success or wealth...No, I'm not wealthy, but I have been fortunate to invest here and there.


Problem is, even stateside women can sometimes sniff this out magically...I don't know how they do it.




Offline benjio

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Re: Good questions to ask her?
« Reply #14 on: August 13, 2013, 07:46:57 AM »
LOL!!!  8)  Geez...what happened to just going out on a date and letting the conversation evolve naturally? To be perfectly honest, most things you'd ask a girl in Colombia on a first date are probably going to result in more "pleasing" and less truthful answers. Colombianas are man pleasers by nature. When first getting to a know girl, most of them would usually much rather tell you what you want to hear as supposed the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. As with almost any woman from any culture, it's not going to take long before she's spilled her entire life story into your welcoming ears. A man just has to know how to determine what kind of person she is from that experience, her body language, general demeanor, etc.
 
I know the last two posts were written with a comical tone, but as I've stated before there's nothing wrong with a woman finding out you have money. Men who assume that hiding this fact will somehow result in some indication of sincerity on her part are being naïve. You've seen the movie Coming to America one too many times. In my opinion doing the contrary is much more effective. If a woman knows you're filthy rich and you're still not giving her a dime, her true colors will show a lot faster. If you're throwing money all over the place and not buying her anything, then she asks for something and gets pissed when you say, "no" you've got all the red flags you need. From my experience a sincere Latina will NEVER asks for money...no matter how much she needs it. It's not a question of necessity when they're really into you. It's a question of pride, and the fear you'll perceive their request for financial assistance as an attempt to use you. However, if you voluntarily open that, "If you need help just let me know" door, all of that usually goes out of the window.
 
The discussion of money and assets shouldn't come up until you're in a serious relationship with a woman. Before then there are subtle signs almost all women can pick up on
« Last Edit: August 13, 2013, 07:49:23 AM by benjio »

Offline robert angel

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Re: Good questions to ask her?
« Reply #15 on: August 13, 2013, 08:44:34 AM »
I agree most women can add up if you have money from different things--your job, you're appearance--clothes, jewelry (they're all looking for 'rings' on you and them) and if web camming from home--from your 'house'. I agree that money shouldn't be discussed in detail until you're at a (very) serious stage.
 
I still feel that money and material things should be kept as low key as possible, especially early on. Some guys know better, but for instance, if the average USA school teacher tells a Filipina that he makes $50,000 a year--that's over two million pesos a year in country where few people make over 100,000 pesos a year. Some teachers make a lot more. Hell--if you're making over $20,000 a year here, many there will still think you're sitting pretty.
They often have a very unrealistic idea of perspective, scale, size or cost of living. Many base their impressions of life in the USA on what they see from the media. What they see on TV and the movies--they often actually expect to reflect family life, home size and more.
 
They hear your house or condo has 3 bedrooms and two baths and even a garage for two cars--(to them, basically more, very big rooms) and they often take it on a grand scale. Maybe telling them that four smart phones in a family costs over $250 a month--that we HAVE to have costly auto insurance (they don't) might balance reality, but for a lot of these women, they just see it all as larger than life (their life) and you also become that way, but also as a result, typically more desirable to them, as well. Just because of money and things--not because of YOU.
 
I imagine the same perspective can be used to a lot of S. American women, with most of the population being of limited income.
 
It's real easy to 'let off' things and some guys actually brag on themselves and all the 'things' they have and can do--it can really backfire on you. People can be very impressionable and find them overly influenced by the wrong cues. And of course, gold diggers know what gold looks like and how it walks and talks.
« Last Edit: August 13, 2013, 09:06:16 AM by robert angel »
"Stupid is as stupid does"

 

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