Regarding Pinays and their online personal ads

[Veracity]

Guys,

I've been reading a lot of online personal ads from the Philippines and several things stick out as being uniquely Philippine.

One that I have not seen discussed here before is the following:

"Someone who will accept me for who I am"

Is this a cultural thing? Is there a back story here?

Are women from the PI afraid that they will not be accepted?

[SkyNorth]

It is a very common theme for these ladies and their culture is that they have Humility.  I find it a breathe of fresh air.  Unlike my little Bogota lawyer chica (I told her she was Beautiful and she would answer "of course" as she flipped her hair)
 
Most Pinays will say "no no" if you tell them they are pretty.  Then tell you they are simple girls.  If you can accept them being "simple" that is their meaning of ACCEPTANCE.  And truly the most educated and complicated pinays are pretty straight forward ladies; sweet and caring.

[robert angel]

Guys,

I've been reading a lot of online personal ads from the Philippines and several things stick out as being uniquely Philippine.

One that I have not seen discussed here before is the following:

"Someone who will accept me for who I am"

Is this a cultural thing? Is there a back story here?

Are women from the PI afraid that they will not be accepted?

Pinays are a paradox. There's really no such thing as a "Simple Filipina". They are all complex (physical and mentally) human beings. Many are Nurses, some are Doctors, too many are bar girls and one Manila raised Filipina has been the head chef for the last two (Republican and Democrat ) Presidents of the USA. Go figure.
 
Re: "Someone who will accept me for who I am" I think comes from a song: "Accept me for who I am" a common soft pop song standard in the Philippines, that along with a kazzilion others, such as "Love me for what I am" blah, blah, puts many Filipinas to sleeps on hot, humid nights.
 
The Philippines has a real knack for taking sappy love  and pop song hits in general and making them even MORE sappy and sentimental, using their own recording artists. Some of the stuff they love would make Don Ho's "Tiny Bubbles" ukulele song sound like heavy metal rock. And for a lot of them, the soft love and pop songs reflect their true mindset, as it is in their home environment anyway. We've sent everything ABBA, Carpenters, John Ford Coley--tons of music CDs and down loads, over to the Philippines. Soft pop bands long forgotten here, sell out large venues there.
 
Not saying some gals don't hide behind saying their saying I'm a "Simple Filipina" or say "Take me for what I am" and won't turn out to be your worst nightmare of a wife, but I'd guess most who say things like that, mean it at the time.
 
"Your mission, Mr. Phelps, should you choose to accept it", is to tell the good from the bad, the real from the posers. Should this "MIssion Impossible" fail, all members of P-L will disavow any knowledge of, or involvement in your mission!
 
Filipina are generally more adaptable to moving to environments many could not endure because of weather or isolation. And at least initially, most will put up with a pretty sh!tty husband,   especially if there are kids in the mix. If a guy's a real no count bum, a good Filipina will eventually take the lead, push him out of the way, get a job and raise the kids right and proper.
 
Some are so strong and resiliant as to even stay married to guys like myself and egads to--Ray! for long periods!
 
Don't think they are sterotypically 'submissive little women' either. They might be quiet and conservative in public, not inclined to make you look bad publically, but do something embarassing and chances are you'll hear about it loud and clear when you get home. They want BOTH of you to look good. And if there's peace and love in the house hold, being conservative and demure may well fly out the window once you get to the bedroom.
 
I think if you took two identical Filipinas and put one in Anchorage, Alaska and one in the  middle of  'Nowhere, Idaho' the one in Alaska, with more humans around, especially with family to bond with, would be the happier one. Family first for sure, friends as well, but overall Filipinos are social humans. Whether it's in person or even via phone or computer, staying in touch with home is important. Letting them occasionally cook their crazy (to us) and stinky food, means a lot also.
 
Some of the saddest Filipinas I've seen lived in remote areas with little human contact besides their working husbands. I mean, who'd wanna live in Ratazz Arknasa? Next are probably those with domineering mother in laws who don't undersatnd or respect Filipino ways--those are some miserable gals.
 
Some are more humble, some are less materialistic than others. Most are proud of being a Filipino, quietly so, but some of the same may secretly feel an inferiority complex about their nation's 'problems'. All of this is variable.
 
If you take any poor person, Filipinas included, and expose them for a long time to things like hot water, meat at most meals, new luxury cars, fancy homes, clothes and such, they may become accustomed to it, perhaps even coming to feel entitled to such. My wife's village had a natural disaster and the homes haven't had running water since December 3rd, 2012--they don't know when they'll get it back and she's thankful for just having water here.
 
Unfortunately, too many Filipinas come to the USA and make too many fellow Filipino friends who are bad influences, people who encourage materialism, gossip and worse. They may develop what is known as 'crab mentality' involving a king of the hill menatlity, sometimes an 'If I can't have it, no one will' attitude and other characteristics. Look it up.
 
Many many immigrants have come to the USA with nothing and climbed pretty high socially and monetarilly and as they say back home: "Lost their way/s". My grandparents immigrated to the USA and would say of certain people from our ethnic group: "They're more American than the Americans!" and it wasn't a compliment. A compliment was: "They never forgot where they came from", which implied they were quietly appreciative of what this great nation afforded them.
 
To us, the best Filipinas are the ones who remain humble, remembering the folks back home and the situations they endured and continue to endure back home. I'll never forget my own family saying how when they "Got off the boat" from Europe, just how rough things were--no welfare either--they would've refused it if it was available anyhow. "We didn't have pot to piss in--or a window to throw it out of". If a sock or sweater wore out, they saved the good yarn to make something useful from the remenants. Facing in their face discrimination and slurs, first they got menial jobs, eventually became citizens and registered to vote, got access to Civil Service, many proudly enlisted in our Military and each generation obtained more education than the previous one. No pissing and moaning. I see that in many Filipinos more than I do in native born Americans as a whole.
 
My wife wishes we could send home half of what our schools throws away.
 
I see a lot of the above here in the current generation of Filipinos. One of my God sons (his Filipino parents an RN and a greeting card salesman),  had to decide between Annapolis OR West Point. Being Filipino, he's probably the shortest cadet at West Point, but he's a helluva a hard worker!

[Jhengsman]

 
The Philippines has a real knack for taking sappy love  and pop song hits in general and making them even MORE sappy and sentimental, using their own recording artists. Some of the stuff they love would make Don Ho's "Tiny Bubbles" ukulele song sound like heavy metal rock. And for a lot of them, the soft love and pop songs reflect their true mindset, as it is in their home environment anyway. We've sent everything ABBA, Carpenters, John Ford Coley--tons of music CDs and down loads, over to the Philippines. Soft pop bands long forgotten here, sell out large venues there.
 

I ran into John Ford Coley appearing at the Robinson's Mall about seven years ago. I probably googled what happen to England Dan  Also being an inclusive ethnicity anybody who can claim any pinoy heritage is immediately in. And others like the jazzy R&B of Angie Bofill get over. It was strange when I ran across [size=78%]http://dvd.netflix.com/Movie/Nina-Live/70039681?strkid=1037914434_0_0&strackid=454b2cb109e9901c_0_srl&trkid=222336[/size] Nina Live on Netflix. The setlist could have been made by me asnd was not your normal "pop" show, coming from artist like Angie Bofill and Kevyn Lettau along with the better known Chaka Khan and Gloria Estafan. It was like Al Jarraeu's CD recorded live in front of a small studio audience [/size][size=78%].[/size][/size][size=78%] [/size][size=78%]

[SkyNorth]

Really Roberto - If Filipinos are the hardest working, complex, educated, culinary geniuses then why are they so poor.  I think we should call it like it is not the way we wish it to be.
 
VCity they are very cool "simple" people; just like Robert said they usually aren't motivated to change from a bad Husband until they have to.  However, I am NOT saying "simple is less" of a person, I would actually say that the Filipino "simple is more".  This isn't Rocket science when a pretty Pinay says "You Treat" means she thinks your her new walking talking ATM, so politely move on.
 
Plus, if you somehow find yourself with a prostitute (bar girl) or a chix with a dix - MOVE ON QUICKLY.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

[Tanuki]

Like everywhere else there are some folks who try to skate.  However, in my travels to Manila I generally found Filipinos bust their humps to scratch out a living.  And, in general, I think they seem to take their work and education pretty seriously over there.  There is a whole host of reasons and many complexities as to why that country is poor.  So, I don't think you can try to sum up the reason as to why those folks are poor quite as easy as SkyNorth tried to do.
In my search a lot of girls said they were "simple."  The first few times I took it as what I thought it might mean.  But, after hearing several times, I decided to ask them what does "simple" mean.  Each one had their own way to describe it.  I also ran across the, "accept me for who I am" phrase quite a bit.  I would also ask them to tell me what that means. The typical response was them telling me what type of personality they had.  And, it was at this point, they would list being a "simple" girl as one of their personality traits.
I don't know if this has anything to do with it for sure, but infidelity seems to be pretty common over there.  I think a lot of those ladies want to find the man that is going to be with them for the long haul.  And so, I think they throw that statement out there in hopes that if you are going to be the one, you are the one who will be there with them for the long haul.  They don't want the man who is going to switch ponies mid race.

[SkyNorth]

Tank...you are not reading my post correctly or I am not communicating effectively.  I never tried to "sum up" why Filipinas are poor (I agree it is to complex of a problem).  I just simply tried to answer the original question without all the verbiage Roberto uses plus with accuracy.  I think Rob thinks the longer the post the more accurate. 
 
I have met with several business people in the Phils, they were educated with lots of degrees.  They could not tell me their Break Even Point, Cash Flow, or Inventory levels for their on businesses, well educated in PI means not so much when compared to other business proprietors I deal with.  I was putting together a marketing plan for a domestic lender here in the states that wanted to get into Asia.  And I really wanted to bring capital to those great folks but I told them we need to look at Brazil first.
 
Guys you cannot fix the problem if you don't honestly identify the problem.  It is kinda like AA - admit the problem fix the problem--- HI - My name is ROBERT AND I'M A WORD A HOLIC!

[thekfc]

I have met with several business people in the Phils,

I didn't know you went to the Philippines.  Last I remember you were inquiring about length of visa stay.

When did you go?
Where?
What do you think about the place, people, food, weather, transportation, etc,.?

How about a mini report, late is better than nothing.

Some of the "newbies" & others who are in the early process would like to get additional viewpoints from from the folks who have been there and could learn from their experiences.

[robert angel]

SN,  I just got off the crapper, which seemed like the perfect place to have a look back at your approx. 200 short (thankfully) posts. That last one, half joking or not on here, that Benji "must be full of sh!t" was the right line at the right time, alright. LOL   A recurrent theme has been you whining about how immature Filipinas are as you nonetheless continue your pursuit thereabouts. Now here you are, a guy looking at age 50 before too long--you claim to have traveled pretty much everywhere in South America, from top to bottom, worked on Wall Street, claim to have cut business deals in the Philippines (they're immature and not as smart as you, as to be expected) you had a business as an outfitter in Colorado--quite a resume and that's just a partial list.   
 
You're too busy, too successful to get more than a week off, but a trip to Aruba's too expensive for you. Your talk of a trip to the Philippines appears to have been just that--talk. Meanwhile, I'd guess you've been staying home, spanking your monkey, while surfing the net for cute Pinays to disect.   
 
You've been here just over a year and managed to tick off Whitey and Innocent Vixen, to give just a very partial list, but to annoy those two alone would suggest you have a very unique interpersonal 'skill set'.   
 
I know you're lexdyslic, so I won't make this too long.   I'd strongly advise you to stay way, way from the Philippines. Should a Filipina end up with you, even the simplest, most immature Filipina will, after a short while here with you in USA, realize how little you truly care about them, their culture and how you, such a man of the world, are yet  towards them, rather clueless, patronizing and condescending.   
 
I wouldn't give you much of a chance at making a marriage to a Filipina last more than two years.   
 
Should you decide nonetheless, I'd advise you locate to Makati, Manila, the financial, commercial center of the Philippines, along with their trading center/s stock exchange. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Makati  I am certain you'll find tons of very attractive, mature and spophisticated women there.   
 
If you'd rather a more exotic, tropical beach like location, might I suggest Jolo Island or Tawi Tawi? Be sure to bring along a suitcase of bibles to hand out to the locals there.  Other places I think that would have attractive, mature women more akin to your style, would be the Ukraine and Bangkok, Thailand.   
 
BTW, your 'ex' (no doubt) Pinay 'GF' was right about what STARTING Pharamcists make. You mention UGA (University of Georgia). The Pharmacist grads we know coming out of there typically get starting pay of over $100,000 routinely. The ones from schools that aren't as highly rated make about the same.   Must have made you feel real big to try and pop that girl's bubble, belittle her dream and otherwise find ways to make that girl feel stupid and immature....
 
SkyNorthAsian -> General Discussion / Re: Pinay ladies ?« on: May 23, 2012, 09:31:04 PM » I have no problem with the Pinay cute personality. I find it charming 99% of the time. And they can be great nanny's sitters’ caregivers etc.
 
But my experiences have shown me that they are quite a bit immature in One on One relationships.
 
Example: My ex GF 31 YO Pinay been in States just over 8 years. She is going to school to become a Pharmacist and she claims when she graduates she will start out making no less than $120 grand a year. I thought that was a bit outta line so I asked where she got her info. She made the comment "around". So we looked at the Internet together and the career websites all say that a Pharmacist will start out at between $40-80 with $55-60 being a more realistic starting point for 55 hours of work per week. plus her claim that she was gonna be working 9-5 monday -friday only. And that Chicago had the #1 pharmacy school in the nation. It turns out when we looked that info. up US News and World Reports rated Uof I-Chicago high but not in the top ten. The other top Pharmacy school in Chicago ranked #69. The thing is I wasn't gotcha - told u so with this info. I was very here are the facts. But she was pissed sulking and IMMATURE about the whole thing. Plus she didn't have the money to pay outta state tuition anyway. I mentioned to her the UGA has a top 25 pharmacy program but that did not cheer her up at all. I guess she doesn't dig that Bulldog mascot.
 
I just found it immature for a 3^rd year Biology student to sulk about the facts about her chosen career after a lack of due diligence she had put into this decision. And-or not seek some free career counseling at college as she started down this path. Plus, be mad at me for pointing her in the correct direction.
 
Another thing puzzled me, we were talking about genetics one day and I said Ribonucleic acid and Deoxyribonucleic acid. She looked at me like I was a pillar of salt. And asked what I was talking about I said DNA and RNA, she said “what?”  I guess Biology class is different now.
 
Example 2:  I was speaking to a Pinay online – and she was great. And we had a lot in common. We emailed and did chat. She asked me to Skype and I told her that I did not have a web cam that worked. My webcam was broken in a recent move, but I would buy one.  She wanted to know when and I told her that I would order one online that evening. She asked “then we can Skype, tomorrow”. I said no it must come in the mail because I am placing an online order.  She wanted me to buy one at the computer store, so that we could talk immediately. I tried to explain that I had a credit with an online company for computer stuff, but she never got the concept of returning an item that did not work and receiving a store credit. YES, MY BAD for trying to explain that concept, Via the written word. LOL. But, I did explain that they had quick delivery and it was 2-3 days and we could Skype all day. Well, she still was not happy, and told me that she was very serious and that I wasn’t. And she made a Mountain out of a Mole hill about a 2-3 day wait on a web cam. I just did not want to spent cash when I have a credit and get front door delivery.
 
Her attitude was really weird.  It just seems recently I run into a lot of maturity problems with PI ladies. 
 

[Gato4Astrid]

"Someone who will accept me for who I am"

This also including that they are ladyboys!!

[thekfc]

RA, as per in his post (2 posts above yours), he said "he meet with several business people in the phils", so that would means he have been to the Philippines so I requested a trip report from him. With the knowledge he have gained there we will be receiving a trip report shortly from him - me and the other readers are eagerly waiting. 

SkyNorth, I hope you took lots of pics while you were there and can you show us a few. 

[thekfc]

This also including that they are ladyboys!!

Do you have a fixation with ladyboys? 

Just about every post of yours in the Asian forum is about/involves ladyboys.

[Ray]

Do you have a fixation with ladyboys? 

Just about every post of yours in the Asian forum is about/involves ladyboys.

 
Damn! I was just thinking the same thing...   
 
 
Ray
 
 

[SkyNorth]

RA...I find your post a bit disturbing.  You spend hours on your Mem. Day to research and study my 200 posts, find it humorous someone has Dyslexia  (you wrote it backwards in bad taste - I get it - it isn't cancer but it is not something I would wish on you - or goof on you about), you make all kind of value judgments about me based on stories where I helped others and other posts where we just disagree.   MOST DISTURBING you make reference to my junk.  Civil debates do not include any of these things.  Debates with insane people include comments on self gratification, etc.
 
Why would you throw a negative age comment in the mix when you are older?  that doesn't make since.  And as for as handing out Bibles in Bali, if I get 4 hrs off to goof around, OK - that doesn't register either.
 
And my short coming to trigger you lewd perverted comments  1) disagreeing with your opinion and 2) calling you posts verbose.  I say your posts are verbose - You commented my posts are too short - cool we can agree to disagree.  I say I find PIs culture simple but really wonderful - You say no, Filipinos are super complex and still wonderful folks -- on those 2 points we agree the Filipinos are nice folks - on the simple issue we disagree.
 
When a PIs man or woman has made the comment to me that they are "simple" - I have always responded "me to"  "and I like it that way"  -  then they always smile really big back at me.
 
I am very much at a loss for words now.  And I find this dialogue very unhealthy for all of us.  If you want to continue down this path feel free - you will do so without me.    Well, I have spent my limit of time here and notice Rob no personal attacks sent your way.

[thekfc]

SkyNorth, you said you meet with several business people in the phils.

This folks here (us) who have been to a particular country share our experiences so the folks who are going after us can learn from it and avoid making some of the common mistakes.

Can you share some of your experiences with us?

So when did you go there? what places did you visit?
How did you like the food? the atmosphere? how was the malls compare to here? how did the weather treat you?  did you have fun riding the jeepneys & tricycles? Which airport did you fly into & what did you think of it?
Any pics?

[Bob_S]

If I might elbow my way into all this camaraderie, I want ask, would "accept me for who I am" have anything to do with religion?  Given that most Pinays are Catholic, and I'm guessing that a large number of the American or Western European men are some denomination of Protestant, could there be stories of men forcing their Pinay wives to abandon their church?  Just throwing that idea out there. 

[Jhengsman]

I don't think so they use the term among themselves. However the largest non-Catholic faiths tend to be the type that require conversion and even forbid members from visiting other houses of faith. I remember my wife was talking to my mother about faith she was surprised to hear that outside of the Philippines the Catholic church does not have the reputation for being open to outsiders that she thinks its has relative to other faith traditions.

[CeeTeeEnn]

One annoying thing i have noticed about some Pinays is their tendency to lie about their height. I've noticed quite a few profiles with incredible heights given such as 7'2s, 6'1s or even semi-plausible 5'9-5'11s whereas their photos simply don't back it up. Could this be because they have a height complex and fear guys will ignore them if they're 5'1? If so, it's a profoundly mistaken strategy as any guy into taller women will just walk away if it ever comes to a face to face meeting.

[dewey4350]

Well I remember even some of the ladies not even posting the correct picture. Height I am like you never was correct - but I thought they were so pretty it didn't matter to me. To me they make up for it in just being genuine. Always smiling even if its a bad day. They worry more about there family and what they can do to help. I guess we tend to do the same things on different things ourselves. I am guessing Gato had a really bad experience with a lady boy. I can remember being there and there was tour guide of the bat caves. The guide was a gay, I thought it was just a tall lady - my GF wouldn't tell me until we left because she knew how I am with them. Gato hang in there LOL

[Veracity]

Guys,

Thank you for the many replies.

A lot of them make sense.