Can a One Woman Trip be successful?

[Capstone]

    And what about David and Maria from the Lisa Ling special? I didn't see him making many trips but he did meet more that one woman.

   As far as the guys here on this board, I don't consider them the run of the mill one hit wonders. There is more to it than that. FT used an agency, whitey was setup...neither met these women cold on the internet. And nearly all of them had backup plans.So I bet if we knew the details of all these straw men you are talking about they wouldn't be one hit wonders either.

   I used the internet myself but as OG stated it is just a tool.I didn't rely on it completely and it is foolish to do so.But then I'm one of those nerds who isn't afraid to talk to a real live woman.

So in other words your statement about one woman trips have only worked for a few and will not work for many isn't based on anything other than your own imagination?

The original point of discussion was rather or not a one woman trip can be successful. And the answer, based upon the responses, is yes it clearly can. Why you are now trying to argue that most of these guys weren't really 'one hit wonders' because they had a backup plan is ridiculous - the fact is that they made a trip to visit one woman and they were successful.

I will ask the question again - did you meet your wife on your first trip to Colombia? if not, then your previous argument of "I can spend the money for one trip to meet many women or I can spend the money for many trips to meet them one at a time. It doesn't make sense to make many trips" is a total wasted contention. 

[Researcher]

So in other words your statement about one woman trips have only worked for a few and will not work for many isn't based on anything other than your own imagination? Any guy that decides to get to know a woman is going to travel to meet only her so I guess everyone is a one hit wonder.

The original point of discussion was rather or not a one woman trip can be successful. And the answer, based upon the responses, is yes it clearly can. Why you are now trying to argue that most of these guys weren't really 'one hit wonders' because they had a backup plan is ridiculous - the fact is that they made a trip to visit one woman and they were successful.

I will ask the question again - did you meet your wife on your first trip to Colombia? if not, then your previous argument of "I can spend the money for one trip to meet many women or I can spend the money for many trips to meet them one at a time. It doesn't make sense to make many trips" is a total wasted contention.  

     I base it on my own experience.It didn't work for me and I know several other guys it didn't work for.Your point is based on imaginary statistics that you assume are real. There are many unsuccessful guys that don't post on these forums and many are probably one hit wonders that didn't make it.But any guy that decides to travel to get to know one woman can be considered a one hit wonder by your definition.So I guess we all are.

    No, didn't meet my wife on my first trip to Colombia because I wasn't desperate or in a hurry to get hitched. Again, I am not afraid to talk to real live women so I enjoyed the ride.

   I met so many women I lost count over the years.There is no way I  could afford the time or money to meet them one at a time.Even though I married only one(the best one, IMHO)I am glad to have met so many women and had the experiences I did instead of spending the time surfing the net all safe and sound from the comfort of my computer.

    But enough about me.Instead of discussing me why don't you answer my question.Give us details on what a guy should do to make this one hit wonder method work.

    Researcher

[thekfc]

The other guys here, that are supposed one hit wonders, had backup plans.

Inquire:
Which of the so called "one hit wonders" guys in here had backup plans?

[Researcher]

Inquire:
Which of the so called "one hit wonders" guys in here had backup plans?

  Anyone that used Jamie's agency had a backup plan....duh.


    Well, I guess Capstone is busy putting those golden nuggets of wisdom together.There will be good ideas I'm sure but the one hit wonder method is majorly flawed.


      Researcher

[thekfc]

Anyone that used Jamie's agency had a backup plan....duh.

So then as per you, it is ONLY the guys on the Latin board.....not the guys on the Asian side.

[Capstone]

I base it on my own experience.It didn't work for me and I know several other guys it didn't work for.

Just because something didn't work out for you doesn't mean that it doesn't work. I have failed in a lot of things during my lifetime but that doesn't mean that I don't believe that those things work.

There are many unsuccessful guys that don't post on these forums and many are probably one hit wonders that didn't make it.

No argument from me here. But I bet there are just as many guys who are failures at international speed dating who don't post their stories here either.

No, didn't meet my wife on my first trip to Colombia because I wasn't desperate or in a hurry to get hitched. Again, I am not afraid to talk to real live women so I enjoyed the ride.

I hate to break it to you Researcher but most of us who successfully employed the one woman trip are A-Type personalities who aren't afraid to talk with women - we just decided to lay a little groundwork first.

I met so many women I lost count over the years.There is no way I  could afford the time or money to meet them one at a time.Even though I married only one(the best one, IMHO)I am glad to have met so many women and had the experiences I did instead of spending the time surfing the net all safe and sound from the comfort of my computer.

Good for you. I have lived & worked in 5 different countries and have visited 50+ countries and have dated many women during my life - all outside the comfort of my computer. What I did do though was take some time to put in a little extra work up front in order to improve my odds with my wife.

But enough about me.Instead of discussing me why don't you answer my question.Give us details on what a guy should do to make this one hit wonder method work.

I already answered your question in my first post to this thread as best as I possibly can - its called communication. What is so hard to understand? Instead of jumping on a plane to go on a speed dating tour with a bunch of women that I knew absolutely nothing about I took some time to get to know someone first. Sure you can argue that you really can't get to know someone without meeting them in person which in some cases I am sure is the case - no argument from me. But in my case I really did get to know my wife prior to meeting her in person - everything that she said about her, her family, her likes/dislikes, desires from life all turned out to be true. The chemistry and compatibility that was there before we actually met was confirmed after our first meeting and still exists to this day. 

You are absolutely right that there is no substitute for meeting someone in person - it is the only way to verify and know things for sure. But I really don't see how speed dating a bunch of women that I know absolutely nothing about is a better method than getting to know someone before actually visiting them.

Both methods have failure & success stories not doubt about it. I have not tried to argue one method over the other (other than I think one would work better in particular countries) - as I have already said I think that both can work, it just depends on how they are executed, what country you are in and what you feel comfortable with. Trying to say one is absolutely better than the other is ridiculous.


Researcher - we will just have to agree to disagree.

[Researcher]

      I'm sure it didn't work for other guys as well.

     Lay some groundwork? on a computer? hehehe..... funny stuff!

     Good communication? That doesn't answer the question.But honestly, if you ever can think of some guidelines or a way to describe the best way to go about the one hit wonder method, post it. Seriously, while I don't think this is the best way for most guys to go about this there are some guys that are shy that it will work for, IMHO. I just don't have any faith in it so I wouldn't advise it. But since you obviously believe so much in it I thought you would have some specific guidelines instead vague ideas.Sorry shy guys you are on your own!


      Researcher

[Researcher]

So then as per you, it is ONLY the guys on the Latin board.....not the guys on the Asian side.

   Well kfc, I don't know about the Asian side because I don't spend alot of time there.I Can't stay awake long enough to finish the posts there......boring!!!!


          Researcher

[thekfc]

   Well kfc, I don't know about the Asian side because I don't spend alot of time there.I Can't stay awake long enough to finish the posts there......boring!!!!

         Researcher

Yep, we are boring.......we are not as exciting like the Casanovas on the Latin side.

[Researcher]

       Well it seems Capstone let me down. I was truly looking for some nuggets of wisdom but I got jipped.

       If any of you guys can come up with some guidelines for the WOVO then post them. I'm convinced that there are some guys that this way will work better for. If there are guys out there that are shy this is probably better any way.


         Researcher

[Capstone]

      I'm sure it didn't work for other guys as well.

     Lay some groundwork? on a computer? hehehe..... funny stuff!

     Good communication? That doesn't answer the question.But honestly, if you ever can think of some guidelines or a way to describe the best way to go about the one hit wonder method, post it. Seriously, while I don't think this is the best way for most guys to go about this there are some guys that are shy that it will work for, IMHO. I just don't have any faith in it so I wouldn't advise it. But since you obviously believe so much in it I thought you would have some specific guidelines instead vague ideas.Sorry shy guys you are on your own!

Wow - the fact that you failed at something is really eating away at you big time isn't it? Throughout this entire thread you have tried to put forth some sense of superiority over guys who were actually successful at something that you weren't. Three words for you Researcher - Get Over It!

[whitey]

Who can say whether it is better to meet online or in person first?  They are both good options, but for me, I think getting to know someone online for awhile first is better.

However, I really think it depends on your personality, and perhaps to some extent on how experienced you are with women in general, with the women in the culture you've chosen, with the culture itself, with the language, etc.

My best friend is very visually oriented and puts a great deal of emphasis on "chemistry".  He's also very picky and knows what he wants.  He would never "waste" time chatting up a woman online for more than a few weeks before going to see her.  Quite frankly, I think this has lead to as many mistakes and failed relationships for him as successes ... but that's his personality and method ... and it's his choice.

Me, I'm very analytical and curious.  I enjoyed every moment of the 9 months waiting to see Nazly, but I would have gone to meet her much sooner if that was possible at the time.  I didn't need anywhere close to 9 months to know that I was very attracted to her.

At that time, I had never been to Colombia before, and could only speak very basic caveman Spanglish.  She was a great Spanish tutor, but far beyond that, I was able to ask and learn so much about her city, her country, cultural differences with male/female roles, machismo, music, carnaval, current events, etc, etc.

Through email, text, Facebook, and eventually the webcam, I got to know her personality very well, her likes/dislikes, hopes and dreams, her family, her friends, her job, her workmates, what subjects she was good at in school as a child, her morals, her basic opinions on religion, politics, etc.

There is no way you can learn all these things IN PERSON on a short trip, but that's not to say meeting someone in person first is a waste of time.  The physical chemistry, behavior, and real-life personality is very important too.  For me, all I had to do was confirm it ... and it really only took a few seconds.  As soon as we saw each other in person, we kissed, hugged, held hands, and knew instantly that the chemistry we had felt online was real.

People who meet in person are often very smug about meeting people online, but I can assure you an intelligent person can learn much more in two hours of conversation, than he can in two hours of watching a movie with someone or going to the mall.

To paint the guys who meet women online first or prefer this method as shy computer nerds sitting in their mother's basement is absurb ... especially in 2011 with the amazing technology we have to facilitate relationships.  

Researcher my friend, there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy ...

[euforia51]

The other guys here, that are supposed one hit wonders, had backup plans.Probably because they knew how unreliable and a waste going to meet one woman can be.

Bullshyt!

As far as the guys here on this board, I don't consider them the run of the mill one hit wonders. There is more to it than that. FT used an agency, whitey was setup...neither met these women cold on the internet. And nearly all of them had backup plans.So I bet if we knew the details of all these straw men you are talking about they wouldn't be one hit wonders either.

I used the internet myself but as OG stated it is just a tool.I didn't rely on it completely and it is foolish to do so.

Bullshyt!

Rese Archer ... you're killing me! I probably should have read the whole thread before chiming in but you're killing me with this attitude! I'm not married so my opinion probably doesn't count for anything. Nonetheless, here are my facts as a one-hit-wonder for you to chew on:

Met on the Internet on a FREE social site (and no it wasn't Facebutt).
Talked and cammed for 4 months total until we met in person
Decided to plan a visit after about 1-1/2 months of chatting
Began to learn Espanol
Began camming after 2 months and for 2 months up to my trip
Backup plan? Ha! It was a 10 minute discussion where we both basically agreed she'd be my tourguide around Medellin as my friend if the chemistry wasn't there for some reason.
Went on trip
Trip went well
Returned home
Still chatting and camming with her
Making a return trip to Medellin soon
Desperate to get married? Hardly!

Cap said it once already in not so many words. Absolutely nothing wrong with getting it right the first time!

Some want to be power-daters to make a selection and some want to take the time and get to know a woman for a while when they see potential. I fall into the latter. And yes, I like using the Internet over meeting in person on the fly!

[Researcher]

Wow - the fact that you failed at something is really eating away at you big time isn't it? Throughout this entire thread you have tried to put forth some sense of superiority over guys who were actually successful at something that you weren't. Three words for you Researcher - Get Over It!

          I wouldn't say it is so much that I wasn't successful at something I just wasn't as lucky. But since you claim to have been successful, let us in on how you did it....or was it just luck? Luck is the only explanation for you because you can't tell anyone how you were successful.

           Researcher

[Researcher]

Bullshyt!
Bullshyt!

Rese Archer ... you're killing me! I probably should have read the whole thread before chiming in but you're killing me with this attitude! I'm not married so my opinion probably doesn't count for anything. Nonetheless, here are my facts as a one-hit-wonder for you to chew on:

Met on the Internet on a FREE social site (and no it wasn't Facebutt).
Talked and cammed for 4 months total until we met in person
Decided to plan a visit after about 1-1/2 months of chatting
Began to learn Espanol
Began camming after 2 months and for 2 months up to my trip
Backup plan? Ha! It was a 10 minute discussion where we both basically agreed she'd be my tourguide around Medellin as my friend if the chemistry wasn't there for some reason.
Went on trip
Trip went well
Returned home
Still chatting and camming with her
Making a return trip to Medellin soon
Desperate to get married? Hardly!

Cap said it once already in not so many words. Absolutely nothing wrong with getting it right the first time!

Some want to be power-daters to make a selection and some want to take the time and get to know a woman for a while when they see potential. I fall into the latter. And yes, I like using the Internet over meeting in person on the fly!

     Get back to us when you are married bud!


    Researcher

[euforia51]

     Get back to us when you are married bud!

Yes sir! I will gladly sit quietly on the sidelines watching this silly volley go back and forth.

[utopiacowboy]

I am quite willing to admit that there are many ways to go about this - just as people are different it's not one size fits all. With Researcher, it's his way or the highway.

[Researcher]

       Well, you guys can't stop yammering long enough to really give any details on how a guy should go about this cyber dating. I think for most guys it is a stupid approach.That's right Euforia, you should sit on the sidelines until you get more experience. There are enough guys on this forum putting their less than 2 cents worth in that haven't even been to meet any women.Even though you managed to Google one up you are still green on the matter. UC, damn right, I have an opinion.

     But let me get you guys started on how to go about this online meeting of women. Say that your a guy that wants something more out of life. You are sitting around one day and decide that you want to trade your inflatable woman in for a real one.You go to your computer and google "mail order bride" and some websites come up. You pick a country that is far away so that you have a buffer of a few thousand miles between you and her.That way she can't find your house to make fun of you like women have done before.Also you have an excuse to not visit her for a while so you don't actually have to talk to her.Now, this is where I'll leave it because this whole idea seems rather foreign to me since I like to actually talk to women.


           Researcher

[Researcher]

Who can say whether it is better to meet online or in person first?  They are both good options, but for me, I think getting to know someone online for awhile first is better.

However, I really think it depends on your personality, and perhaps to some extent on how experienced you are with women in general, with the women in the culture you've chosen, with the culture itself, with the language, etc.

My best friend is very visually oriented and puts a great deal of emphasis on "chemistry".  He's also very picky and knows what he wants.  He would never "waste" time chatting up a woman online for more than a few weeks before going to see her.  Quite frankly, I think this has lead to as many mistakes and failed relationships for him as successes ... but that's his personality and method ... and it's his choice.

Me, I'm very analytical and curious.  I enjoyed every moment of the 9 months waiting to see Nazly, but I would have gone to meet her much sooner if that was possible at the time.  I didn't need anywhere close to 9 months to know that I was very attracted to her.

At that time, I had never been to Colombia before, and could only speak very basic caveman Spanglish.  She was a great Spanish tutor, but far beyond that, I was able to ask and learn so much about her city, her country, cultural differences with male/female roles, machismo, music, carnaval, current events, etc, etc.

Through email, text, Facebook, and eventually the webcam, I got to know her personality very well, her likes/dislikes, hopes and dreams, her family, her friends, her job, her workmates, what subjects she was good at in school as a child, her morals, her basic opinions on religion, politics, etc.

There is no way you can learn all these things IN PERSON on a short trip, but that's not to say meeting someone in person first is a waste of time.  The physical chemistry, behavior, and real-life personality is very important too.  For me, all I had to do was confirm it ... and it really only took a few seconds.  As soon as we saw each other in person, we kissed, hugged, held hands, and knew instantly that the chemistry we had felt online was real.

People who meet in person are often very smug about meeting people online, but I can assure you an intelligent person can learn much more in two hours of conversation, than he can in two hours of watching a movie with someone or going to the mall.

To paint the guys who meet women online first or prefer this method as shy computer nerds sitting in their mother's basement is absurb ... especially in 2011 with the amazing technology we have to facilitate relationships.  

Researcher my friend, there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy ...

           Well Whitey just like I said before I do have an opinion and it is based on years of experience doing this. If I think something is a bad idea I'm probably going to say so.Isn't that what we are here for?Unlike our friends over on the Asian board I'm not going to keep things to myself for the sake of getting along and playing nice. If you do that then someone could end up getting in a relationship with a guy dressed as a woman.Trying to water this subject down by saying that everyone has their own way of doing things is irresponsible. Coming back and giving tips on how to go about this online way of meeting women is the responsible thing to do.And yes, I am aware of all the technology nowadays and how people are getting used to using it but go to any article on using the internet to meet people and there are warnings and tips on what to watch out for.You guys seem to believe in it and the only advice has been "good communication". Well no kidding? duh.....


        Researcher

[ignorante]

I enjoyed every moment of the 9 months waiting to see Nazly

  Wow  9 months?
And it was a success story?  I guess the 60 days rule is not a hard and fast one.

[Researcher]

 Wow   9 months?
And it was a success story?  I guess the 60 days rule is not a hard and fast one.

               It's true Iggy, but it takes a special person to make that work...hehehe

                                                          


                      Researcher

[Researcher]

      Hey Whitey, when you finally made it down for a visit did you take your laptop for assistance?hehehehe



                                             



                             Researcher

[Capstone]

I wouldn't say it is so much that I wasn't successful at something I just wasn't as lucky. But since you claim to have been successful, let us in on how you did it....or was it just luck? Luck is the only explanation for you because you can't tell anyone how you were successful.

Unlucky? Hardly - you failed at it and it is as simple as that. Men make their own luck. You have been exposed Researcher - you failed at the one woman trip method and now your ego won't let you accept the fact that other men have been successful at the very thing that you yourself were unable to do. If the all knowing, suave, god's gift to women Researcher could not do it then of course no one else possibly can. And so you choose to make an attempt to berate those who succeeded where you failed in an attempt to soothe your ego.

Of course you will never admit to being unsuccessful at it, your hyper inflated ego won't let you, instead you lay the blame at luck or the lack there of. I hate to break the news to you Researcher but there are many many men who were successful at something at which you failed.

Was I lucky? Yes, of course I was but I also believe that I made my own luck. I met my wife on a non dating website (a travel site actually) at a time when neither one of us were looking for a relationship. For the first month we chatted every 2-3 days mostly about travel related items and then over the next several weeks our discussions turned more personal.

Then for the next 4 months we chatted, web cammed and spoke on the phone several times a day everyday. During that time I learned all about her past relationships, what she thought a successful relationship should be based upon, what her thoughts were on the roles of the man & woman in a relationship, Chinese cultural aspects of a marriage. her views on religion, kids and much more. And just as importantly I expressed to her my same views about those things. We both were able to see that our thoughts/views on all of these matters meshed.

Before I ever met her in person I knew and had spoken with several of her friends & coworkers, I knew all about her family and most importantly the views of her parents on any potential relationship that she may be involved. I knew all about her professional life, what her typical work day was like. I knew what her favorite subjects were while in school, the name of her schools and even how old she was when she lost her first tooth.

This is what I mean by 'communication' Researcher - the word that you keep throwing back at us 'one hit wonders' as if it is something so strange and foreign to you. The groundwork was laid for a better chance at succeeding once I met her in person.

Now you tell me Researcher where did luck play a greater role - with me going to visit one woman after knowing all of these things about her or with someone who just takes a trip cold and expects to find someone by speed dating a bunch of women that they know actually nothing about? I will take my chances with the method that I chose every time.

Was I successful? Hell yea, I was - I am now very happily married to a great woman, I have a beautiful newborn son, I have a terrific relationship with my in-laws and it is all the result of taking a one woman trip.

[ignorante]

a special person

   

That's not Whitey, though . . . and I doubt that guy in the pic could snag Nazly.

[Researcher]

Unlucky? Hardly - you failed at it and it is as simple as that. Men make their own luck. You have been exposed Researcher - you failed at the one woman trip method and now your ego won't let you accept the fact that other men have been successful at the very thing that you yourself were unable to do. If the all knowing, suave, god's gift to women Researcher could not do it then of course no one else possibly can. And so you choose to make an attempt to berate those who succeeded where you failed in an attempt to soothe your ego.

Of course you will never admit to being unsuccessful at it, your hyper inflated ego won't let you, instead you lay the blame at luck or the lack there of. I hate to break the news to you Researcher but there are many many men who were successful at something at which you failed.

Was I lucky? Yes, of course I was but I also believe that I made my own luck. I met my wife on a non dating website (a travel site actually) at a time when neither one of us were looking for a relationship. For the first month we chatted every 2-3 days mostly about travel related items and then over the next several weeks our discussions turned more personal.

Then for the next 4 months we chatted, web cammed and spoke on the phone several times a day everyday. During that time I learned all about her past relationships, what she thought a successful relationship should be based upon, what her thoughts were on the roles of the man & woman in a relationship, Chinese cultural aspects of a marriage. her views on religion, kids and much more. And just as importantly I expressed to her my same views about those things. We both were able to see that our thoughts/views on all of these matters meshed.

Before I ever met her in person I knew and had spoken with several of her friends & coworkers, I knew all about her family and most importantly the views of her parents on any potential relationship that she may be involved. I knew all about her professional life, what her typical work day was like. I knew what her favorite subjects were while in school, the name of her schools and even how old she was when she lost her first tooth.

This is what I mean by 'communication' Researcher - the word that you keep throwing back at us 'one hit wonders' as if it is something so strange and foreign to you. The groundwork was laid for a better chance at succeeding once I met her in person.

Now you tell me Researcher where did luck play a greater role - with me going to visit one woman after knowing all of these things about her or with someone who just takes a trip cold and expects to find someone by speed dating a bunch of women that they know actually nothing about? I will take my chances with the method that I chose every time.

Was I successful? Hell yea, I was - I am now very happily married to a great woman, I have a beautiful newborn son, I have a terrific relationship with my in-laws and it is all the result of taking a one woman trip.

                      I tried several approaches to find the one that worked for me and I don't consider that failure.I am happily married now and wouldn't change a thing about how I got to this point.

                      So you think you created your own luck? HA! Funny stuff that is.There are many things in this life that you don't have control over so luck plays a huge role in life.This is no exception.You can minimize risks but risk still will be there to some extent.Truth is that you really didn't know who was on the other end of the computer or phone when you were talking with your wife and that is just the facts.You never know who you are dealing with until you actually meet them. It has been repeated on this forum many times that a Colombiana will not take you seriously until you make a trip to visit her.That's another fact for you.

          I don't know where you come up with these success stories. I don't care if every guy on this forum met his wife this way it is still a small sampling of those that do this.

         As far as me being "exposed" you haven't proven anything other than how wild of an imagination you have.

        Everything else aside, thanks for sharing more of your story of how you went about getting to know your wife. That's the kind of stuff that can actually help somebody who is thinking of doing this.It's good info although I wouldn't do it.The rest doesn't bother me and doesn't serve any purpose.


              Researcher