Author Topic: First Time in South America (Medellin Trip Report) (Read 15706 times)

af1 · « **Reply #25 on:** March 09, 2010, 11:06:37 AM »

Sounds great so far Woody.

utopiacowboy · « **Reply #26 on:** March 09, 2010, 08:30:45 PM »

"Also, as for her English skills, she claims zero, but that may just be a confidence thing. But, she said that at the same time I am learning Spanish with her, she could learn English with me. We'll see."

That's what I thought. Here it is seven years later and I'm still speaking Spanish!

Woody · « **Reply #27 on:** March 10, 2010, 08:24:07 AM »

Went to El Penol(no n-yay on my iPhone, sorry): http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=17751&id=100000199957409

Spectacular views.

Panorama shots: http://woods.us/2010

Talked with Andrea a bit on MSN but I already knew she had homework before we started talking. So I told her to do her homework and we would see each other tomorrow evening (5-6 hours from this post). Right now I think I'm gonna go get lost on the metro for a few hours.

Planet-Love.com · « **Reply #27 on:** March 10, 2010, 08:24:07 AM »

Osa · « **Reply #28 on:** March 15, 2010, 02:28:11 PM »

good trip report. haha someone is falling in love after a first date

Alabamaboy! · « **Reply #29 on:** March 15, 2010, 11:00:13 PM »

Great trip report! Sounds like you really got your [snip] together. Good luck man!

robert angel · « **Reply #30 on:** March 16, 2010, 06:45:23 PM »

Woody---> "Right now I think I'm gonna go get lost on the metro for a few hours."

It's been six days since that and NO report--hope Woody's alright (I imagine he is)

On the other hand, maybe they have one hell of a metro system!

Woody · « **Reply #31 on:** March 18, 2010, 08:12:01 AM »

The metro system here really is pretty good. I only wish I lived closer to a station.
As for falling in love on the first date, yeah, I did a bit. Too bad I was quickly brought back to earth the next day when she stood me up and only told me she wasn't going to be there three hours later, via a text from work.

I sent her a message on MSN and told her that instead of me trying to hammer things out and find some time she has free, she will have to tell me when she is available for a date. That was a week ago and I have not heard anything since. Really a shame too, she had potential, serious potential.

Still exploring the city. Finally got a haircut, wow it is soooooooo much cooler with the excess hair gone.

Had a date yesterday, another with the same chick this afternoon, but...... Look, she is hot and all, but I'm really not seeing her as having long term potential.

I have another date later tonight with a chick that, at least initially, seems to have more long term potential. We'll see.

I'll post photo links later when I am at my computer.

La

Woody · « **Reply #32 on:** March 18, 2010, 08:49:50 AM »

I will say that the dates I have been on so far here have helped me a lot in definng what I really want in a partner. Her education/intelligence level has jumped to the top of my list. I mean really, if I don't get the vibe that a chick is smart I really can't develop an emotional attachment. So I narrowed my search parameters to 20-25, no kids, at least vocational college, preferably pursuing a bachelors.

That and her smile. If she never smiles, I just move on. Hell, if she doesn't have any pics on Colombian Cupid where she at least has a smirk, I skip her profile alltogether.

Part of the reason is that my Spanish spelling is better than a lot of these chicks. When she constantly uses k instead of qu it just annoys the [snip] out of me. That and talking in incomplete sentences.

Oh, and I have made huge strides in my Spanish comprehension and oral abilities. I can actually carry on conversations with my dates without constantly referencing a dictionary. Sure, I have to talk about certain things in a round-about way because my vocabulary is insufficient, but I can now do smalltalk. (Don't get me wrong, I still suck, but the difference is astounding.)

robert angel · « **Reply #33 on:** March 18, 2010, 08:50:46 AM »

Woody, Good to hear to hear they didn't take your head off and attach the skin to a soccer ball--(oh I forgot--that's Mexico)--but seriously, while that first babe seemed muy caliente, if you're gonna have that kind of hot, then cold experience, it's best to get it out of the way and not waste a whole trip, only to find out you were being strung along.

Anyways, it makes you more conscious of just how the game can be played (not that you're some star eyed virgin) and gets you more attuned to the whole vibe down there.

Sounds like a great trip so far, keep on having a great time!

whitey · « **Reply #34 on:** March 18, 2010, 11:13:57 AM »

Woody, sorry to hear about the first chica, but it sounds like it's been a great lesson for you, you bounced back right away, and are rapidly evolving.

Quote from: Woody on March 18, 2010, 08:49:50 AM

I will say that the dates I have been on so far here have helped me a lot in definng what I really want in a partner. Her education/intelligence level has jumped to the top of my list. I mean really, if I don't get the vibe that a chick is smart I really can't develop an emotional attachment. So I narrowed my search parameters to 20-25, no kids, at least vocational college, preferably pursuing a bachelors.

That and her smile. If she never smiles, I just move on. Hell, if she doesn't have any pics on Colombian Cupid where she at least has a smirk, I skip her profile alltogether.

Part of the reason is that my Spanish spelling is better than a lot of these chicks. When she constantly uses k instead of qu it just annoys the [snip] out of me. That and talking in incomplete sentences.

A job, intelligence, an education (or working towards one as many Colombians need to work while going to school and may not complete their degree until their 30's) are all very important to me.

A Colombiana that doesn't smile is either a big red flag (for me) or wearing braces ...

The whole "phonetic" text-style Spanish spelling is a major pet peeve for me too.

Sounds like you're doing well Woody ... best of luck!

Woody · « **Reply #35 on:** March 18, 2010, 12:32:34 PM »

I really could give a damn about braces. If anything it shows that she cares about the long term benefits of healthy teeth. Besides, Andrea had a fantastic smile, even with braces.

No, only depressed people never smile or smirk in pictures, no thanks.

Researcher · « **Reply #36 on:** March 19, 2010, 04:55:38 AM »

Woody, I get where you are coming from I have always liked smart women myself.My ex-wife was a pharmacist when I met her and after we married she went back to college and became a chemical engineer.The last AW I dated before I met my wife was a software engineer and I dated an assistant DA, several nurses,etc...So, yes, I understand what you mean. While smart was on my list it wasn't on the top.Over the years I learned that when comes to a wife other things are more important.Here is someone that I was going to wake up next to everyday and share the rest of my life with(hopefully). My list included kind, considerate, affectionate, loyal,responsible,good chemistry between us, compatible with me as far as values and goals in life....and with a nice rack!!! Hey, I'm still a guy!

I became picky.I knew I was risking not being able to find the right woman by being this way but it paid off.My wife is all these things and more.She is smart and has common sense also.She did study accounting but that isn't near as important as the other things.My ex was well educated and very smart but she was cold hearted and very calculating, not to mention selfish.

So Woody, while there is nothing wrong with wanting an educated/smart woman, look beyond that if you want a good wife.From my experience educated is over rated.

Researcher

robert angel · « **Reply #37 on:** March 19, 2010, 05:23:51 AM »

You gotta have heart......

Planet-Love.com · « **Reply #37 on:** March 19, 2010, 05:23:51 AM »

robert angel · « **Reply #38 on:** March 19, 2010, 08:07:03 PM »

And along with a good, loyal heart, a good mind and a lovely body never hurt.....

Honestly, I think some of the things most important and things that are sometimes hard to figure out a ahead of time, are how is she going to adjust to life in the USA? (assuming she's coming here) and how will she act when things get rough, including disagreements, all out fights, financial problems, family problems and the like?

I think Woody's right about staying away from women who have trouble cracking a smile. One of the things that always amazes me to the bone, is how damn happy people in my wife's home land are, despite horrendous poverty and grinding corruption. There is laughter, smiles and music galore. They seem far happier than most so called 'wealthy' Americans.

But I think that no matter what, moving from a a rural or smaller city abroad to the USA is going to change a person to some degree and the younger that person is, the quicker and more dramatic the changes are likely to be. Her new 'friends' in her new country and their character can make a huge difference also.

My wife saw the highly materialistic, scheming, whoring, holier than thou religious hypocrites all too common among Filipinas who've come to the USA and resolved not to get intwined in their social spider web. When we have a problem, it stays HOME, because she knows if word gets out, it will be spread by some people and magnified until it is far, far greater and even different than the reality. Even with the three women she chooses as her circle of friends, she doesn't talk about issues she might have with the two of us as a couple, with me as a person or with my sons.

My wife is cordial to all those people nonetheless and they respect her--she's just very aware of how they operate and she doesn't give them any 'dirt' to dig in.

Hopefully the gal who we are married to or hope to marry, has a strong underlying sense of values--of loyalty, that will help her to not change too dramatically when the going gets rough and she'll be able to find some silver lining in storm clouds--something funny in sad times as well as happy ones.

I think someone who's grown up around siblings and extended family has had to deal with and resolve conflict and has probably had more experience in dealing with a wide range of emotions.

Having an education and 'smarts' is nice, but too many highly educated people analyze everything--maybe that's where the term 'anal' comes from. Some of the most totally screwed up people I know have the most 'formal' education and among careers and suicides rates, psychiatrists are usually close to the top. I admire my wife's ability to accept things without asking 'why, why, why' all the time. She's well educated, smart and intuitive, but she can be goofy and she doesn't let bad moods drag on for days--something very nice in a marriage.

Woody · « **Reply #39 on:** March 20, 2010, 09:33:40 AM »

I agree with you Robert. You can't transplant her to the states, surrounded and immersed in our degenrating culture and not expect to see a change. The more time I spend here, the more certain I become that transplanting a girl to the states is unnecessary. I have fallen in love with Colombia. The culture, the passion people here have for life, the general air of contentment, and the land itself. No, I can see Colombia as a place for me to spend the rest of my life. With that said, why transplant her to the states.

The girl I'm seeing right now is fantastic, I even told her my future plans do not include living in the US, she seemed genuinely pleased at that revelation. She has very little freetime, but she wants to spend all of it with me. An hour at lunch, then 8pm to midnight, when I drop her off at home. My Spanish is holding back more fluid conversation, but we have talked about everything: past, present, and future. One thing about this girl that really sets her apart, she is willing to try the dangerous things. She too likes adreneline. She wants to skydive, to go whitewater rafting, etc.

robert angel · « **Reply #40 on:** March 21, 2010, 08:44:32 AM »

That's cool, Woody:

>>One thing about this girl that really sets her apart, she is willing to try the dangerous things. She too likes adreneline. She wants to skydive, to go whitewater rafting, etc.<<

That gal may just be starting! My wife was really anti gun at first. Now she's bugging me to take her to the shooting range and she's interested in doing martial arts as well.

She didn't care for my knife collection at first, and now she's asking me if I want her to buy me a stunning Japanese, VG10 steel (folded into 33 layers of damascus steel) gentlemen's folder made by MCUSTA. You should Google those---I know it'll only go up in value and I should keep the box and put the knife on a shelf, but I'll still use it.

In my experience, Filipinas can develop new and sometimes surprising interests--hopefully ones that match well to you and your married life. I'd imagine other women from LA and elsewhere can do the same....Hopefully the 'new and surprising interests' will compliment the relationship!

Woody · « **Reply #41 on:** March 21, 2010, 10:56:29 AM »

osteve · « **Reply #42 on:** March 22, 2010, 12:47:32 AM »

Quote from: Woody on March 20, 2010, 09:33:40 AM

I agree with you Robert. You can't transplant her to the states, surrounded and immersed in our degenrating culture and not expect to see a change. The more time I spend here, the more certain I become that transplanting a girl to the states is unnecessary. I have fallen in love with Colombia. The culture, the passion people here have for life, the general air of contentment, and the land itself. No, I can see Colombia as a place for me to spend the rest of my life. With that said, why transplant her to the states.

The girl I'm seeing right now is fantastic, I even told her my future plans do not include living in the US, she seemed genuinely pleased at that revelation. She has very little freetime, but she wants to spend all of it with me. An hour at lunch, then 8pm to midnight, when I drop her off at home. My Spanish is holding back more fluid conversation, but we have talked about everything: past, present, and future. One thing about this girl that really sets her apart, she is willing to try the dangerous things. She too likes adreneline. She wants to skydive, to go whitewater rafting, etc.

It's kind of a no brainer that the best decision is to move there.Having the means is another thing.If you can retire there you have it made, if you think you are going to move there, find a job and live the same as here in the US?You are living in a fantasy world my friend.My wife has been living here several years now and hasn't changed that much but she is probably older than the latinas you are seeing.I think the young ones(around 19 to 26) will change no matter where they are from.It's like Albert Einstein once said "Women marry hoping that the man will change, men marry hoping the woman won't change.Both are inevitably disappointed." I bet you didn't know that old Al E. was a ladie's man did you?

Woody · « **Reply #43 on:** March 22, 2010, 12:52:26 AM »

I have no intention of ever needing to work a day in my life in Colombia. The fact of the matter is, I can likely never work a day in my life again come 2016 and live anywhere in the world I want. That is, if the dollar doesn't collapse in the next three years.

Jason1 · « **Reply #44 on:** March 22, 2010, 11:55:12 PM »

If you are going to do this then ex-pat is the way to go.You don't have to worry about the visa stuff or your lady adjusting to life here in the US.Truth be known you are probably wasting your time on this forum.There are others out there that deal with ex-pat issues.

Osa · « **Reply #45 on:** March 23, 2010, 11:17:25 AM »

Glad to see you met someone who perks your interest. How'd it go with the family?

fathertime · « **Reply #46 on:** March 23, 2010, 12:26:39 PM »

Quote from: Woody on March 22, 2010, 12:52:26 AM

I have no intention of ever needing to work a day in my life in Colombia. The fact of the matter is, I can likely never work a day in my life again come 2016 and live anywhere in the world I want. That is, if the dollar doesn't collapse in the next three years.

6 years is not too long..you will be young still..in the interim you might want to not get into any situation that you can't extract yourself from.
if i were young, single, rich, and free, I'd work on how to get what i want without having any commitments that i couldn't break very easily.

Fathertime!

bcc_1_2 · « **Reply #47 on:** March 23, 2010, 05:20:44 PM »

Quote from: utopiacowboy on March 09, 2010, 08:30:45 PM

"Also, as for her English skills, she claims zero, but that may just be a confidence thing. But, she said that at the same time I am learning Spanish with her, she could learn English with me. We'll see."

That's what I thought. Here it is seven years later and I'm still speaking Spanish!

If she isn't attempting to speak english with you and have taken some classes I agree you shouldn't take the I'll learn english thing too seriously.

I knew from the start that I'd be living in the USA, because I couldn't make good money in Colombia, Honduras, etc so my expectations where that she'd either be fluent in english or at least be at a basic conversational level. And based on my location english ability is a must unlike maybe southern Texas, LA, Miami, etc.

Woody, Living in Colombia is a nice dream. Make sure you have a real game plan to meet that goal.

Planet-Love.com · « **Reply #47 on:** March 23, 2010, 05:20:44 PM »

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Quote from: Woody on March 04, 2010, 07:24:06 AM

You can read a little background information here: http://www.planet-love.com/forum/index.php?topic=5047.0

March 4th, 7:15AM / Colorado Springs Terminal
I have been up since 5:30AM yesterday. Last night was hectic. Spent $1200 on clothes and gear. I have been up all night packing and making last minute arrangements. Dropped my car off at a friend's house and another friend dropped me off at the airport. Security was uneventful. I was wondering if I would have to pay a fee for my checked bag, but I didn't. I was allowed two free bags, I only had one to check. It was 57lbs but I didn't have to pay anything extra. I guess that is a perk of being active duty military. That is a definite plus for American Airlines. Flight is scheduled to depart in another hour.

What I have forgot so far: One of my 16GB SDHC Cards, Headphones (Both were left in my car).

I don't know if it is the lack of sleep, the coffee I finished an hour ago, or excitement. But man, do I have the jitters/butterflies. I'll probably sleep the whole way from COS to Dallas.

Too Much Commercial Spam. Posts now require approval.

Woody · « **Reply #49 on:** March 30, 2010, 01:19:04 AM »

Quote from: Osa on March 23, 2010, 11:17:25 AM

Glad to see you met someone who perks your interest. How'd it go with the family?

Man, this is difficult to express, but here goes:
First, the date. She contacted me on Colombian Cupid. I never paid her much attention, but she asked me out when we chatted on MSN. (Specifically she asked me what I was doing the next day. I said that after 7PM I had no plans, did she want to go out?)

So, we met up at Poblado Station and I was stunned. Her pictures are crap, and in person she is gorgeous. Dinner went really well, considering I could barely hear a damn word she said after the first 45 minutes because the music went up in volume by 300%. After we finished eating, I suggested we find a place with very low volume music. She knew a place in Lleras, we went there, damn near silent, AWESOME! Conversation went a lot better and we talked about everything over a media of Aguardiente Red. I'm an expressive speaker (Large, dynamic facial expressions, and I talk a lot with my hands) and used that to my advantage to initiate more and more touching(Basically, I would hold her hand(s) and use them to help me paint a picture, or draw on her hand with my finger, etc). After about 15 minutes of this I tested the waters. I held both of her hands and locked eyes with her, got a little close, but not too close. I let this last for a few seconds then break away and continue on topic.

Basically this accomplishes two things: 1. It lets me see how she feels about kissing. 2. If I feel that the answer to the first is an affirmative, it leaves her a little confused and hopefully wanting more(And if the answer is a negative, lets her know my intentions, but means she has to want it to happen).

After another 5-10 minutes I did the same thing, except I got 90% of the way, I make her go the last 10%. She went for the last 10%, and man, talk about fun. A full three hour make-out session followed. I could have easily had her that night(she was ready to go), but I knew she was drunk(Which I confirmed today when I showed her something she wrote that night, she had absolutely no recollection). The date ended with me dropping her off at home.

Fast forward a week or so:
Things went great with the family, I mean really great. I'm well liked by everyone. She is affectionate yet cautious and has a feisty side. Last night I got to watch her berate some drunk teenagers on the metro that really needed it, one of them was putting his bare feet(flip-flops on the floor) on the center hand-hold pole of the metro. There were five of them, but I just made eye contact with each of them and smiled(The, "I'm proud of what my girl just did. Please, make my day" smile). They didn't want to screw with me, that is for sure. After we got off at our stop, she informed the transit cops about the situation. I'm pretty sure those kids were in for a world of hurt(Open container of Aguardiente Red, mostly gone, drinking it on the train, all piss drunk). I absolutely love this! We have learned each other's thought patterns pretty well and endlessly make fun of each other now. I absolutely adore her daughter. Smart, adorable, well mannered, really good kid. I love the way she and her daughter interact. Oh, and she plays the violin.

All in all, I think I'm in love with this chick.

And now for the other shoe:
-The timing just plain sucks(Her work schedule is completely rigid and getting more than an hour of just us is very difficult).
-She is a barrio girl (Strata 2, I think). I don't have a problem with this, but it makes me wonder if I have a white-knight complex with her.
-While she is definitely street smart, I'm not sure if she is really intelligent. It is not something I can easily find out through discussion considering my limited vocabulary.
-Still just a HS graduate(about to start vocational school as a dental assistant, but hasn't yet...)

So what will I do? Well, I still haven't had sex with the girl(Not a big deal, really. It could have happened had I pushed for it, but I didn't), so I won't feel bad just letting the relationship slowly dwindle to friendship once I get back to the states in a few days. (Our daily talks in person will be reduced to 2-3x a week on MSN)

Maybe I'm just not ready for commitment and am trying to weasel my way out of a perfectly good relationship. Or, maybe I'm thinking the grass is greener.

In all honesty, I think her daughter is the thing that gives me the most pause. It is not that I don't like her, it is that I do like her and the last thing I want to do is have her get attached and then things not work out with mom.

How's that for a [snip]ed up self realization?

Maybe what I need to do is just wait till I'm in college again and living long term in Colombia to find that life partner for me. My current age range fricking sucks for dating if they have the qualities I am looking for. Most of them are fulltime students with fulltime jobs.

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Author Topic: First Time in South America (Medellin Trip Report) (Read 15706 times)

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