Beginning My Quest for a New Bride: Thanks in Advance for Your Advice!

[bcc_1_2]

   SSDT(Same Sh** Different Thread)blah, blah....

You can tell FT has never done a media interview in his life. When you sit down and do an article for tv or the newspaper they simply use a few of your quotes and do not post (show) the entire interview. In this situation we have a time sequential post transcript so before you get to my post you read FT's post. I took what I wanted to address and left the rest out.

What he just told a newbie he at least supposedly doesn't know (about every woman being interested in a 2nd date) is straight up irresponsible. And as it seems a far cry from the facts. FT seemed to have his fair share of troubles getting women to show up in the first place to meet his "ugly ass". I doubt we get a honest evaluation out of this so called "stud" who refers to himself as bloated in previous trip reports. He seems far more humble in his TRs than he does now that he's found a woman that will put up with him presently.


Past FatherTime Quotes

The quality of girls I went out with was very good.  I gotta say these were the best looking girls on any of my 4 trips to Cali.  I am still having a difficult time sorting out the sincerity of some of these girls.  I am certain that three of my top choices were very sincere and into me which was good.  Two of the others it seemed may have been either uninterested  or just along for the ride.  Of those two one in particular was my favorite which always seems to be the case.  My top prospect had a phone that mysteriously did not work after the second time we went out.  I mean I called her from several different phones and had other people call her and all we got was a ….alo….alo  than nothing.  I don’t know what to make of that but I think it is a real bad sign.

http://www.planet-love.com/forum/index.php?topic=393.0

On my original list many were eliminated by either not being available, not interested in my ugly ass, or not being able to be reached.  Not a problem but I especially like the fact that they were emailed a photo of me beforehand so they knew what they were getting into beforehand and they could eliminate themselves before even having to meet me.  What was left was PLENTY of beautiful ladies!

http://www.planet-love.com/forum/index.php?topic=1091.0

Now several weeks later, after speaking on the phone and emails, I have concluded that "The Queen of Fitness" was a wonderful experience but is not going to fit in my life as well as I was hoping she would.  Actually I think she has made this conclusion I am the one who has to accept it. ]

http://www.planet-love.com/forum/index.php?topic=1091.0

Ok no problem I began selecting some girls I would like to meet at LE.  Of course several of my choices were “Unavailable” “Unreachable” or some other excuse, again no problem that was expected.

http://www.planet-love.com/forum/index.php?topic=63.0

[william3rd]

Another thread going to sheiss . . .

cant you guys get along?

[fathertime]

You can tell FT has never done a media interview in his life. When you sit down and do an article for tv or the newspaper they simply use a few of your quotes and do not post (show) the entire interview. In this situation we have a time sequential post transcript so before you get to my post you read FT's post. I took what I wanted to address and left the rest out.

What he just told a newbie he at least supposedly doesn't know (about every woman being interested in a 2nd date) is straight up irresponsible. And as it seems a far cry from the facts. FT seemed to have his fair share of troubles getting women to show up in the first place to meet his "ugly ass". I doubt we get a honest evaluation out of this so called "stud" who refers to himself as bloated in previous trip reports. He seems far more humble in his TRs than he does now that he's found a woman that will put up with him presently.


Past FatherTime Quotes

http://www.planet-love.com/forum/index.php?topic=393.0

http://www.planet-love.com/forum/index.php?topic=1091.0

http://www.planet-love.com/forum/index.php?topic=1091.0

http://www.planet-love.com/forum/index.php?topic=63.0

Haha!  I gotta laugh that you were so interested in me to spend the time to dig through the archives and cherry pick all those quotes, some of which are 4 years old.  What does this hodgepodge of unrelated quotes prove, who knows? I’m glad you did link them for us though, even if it was for the wrong reason.   I enjoyed reviewing those long lost threads and I encourage any newbie to read them and see how it was for another person that traveled down the path they are contemplating. 

 I’ve already said that not every woman would show up for a date, especially in Cali, but I never let that bother me, as a man I just forged ahead and found the women that liked being around my’bloated’ or  ‘ugly ass’!   It seems to bother you that I jokingly called myself a stud (you left the smiley out of your quote)Now to school you a bit more, when a young man finds a young woman that is nature and not unusual, when an old bald guy like me finds a beautiful young woman that willingly devotes all her time and energy for, that can be defined as one  version of stud.  I am just one of many others on this site, you of course don’t qualify.   

My advice has been sound and on topic, meanwhile you have attempted to subvert the thread and the reason is because I’ve been able to demonstrate your immaturity and now your lack of integrity.  I had to laugh about your ‘media interview’ analogy.  The fact is you changed my quote by picking two sentences that were unrelated and put them together as if they were, was an obvious breach of good taste. This fact has demonstrated your dishonesty, and your ‘media interview’ analogy is a silly attempt to cover up the truth.   As I said earlier, I could do the very thing and quote sentence fragments from somebody or place two unrelated sentences back to back and change the entire meaning, but I’m not going to resort to that dishonestly, as you have done!

I see you failed to address why you called anybody who proposes to a woman on a first trip ‘dumb’.  I don’t blame you for trying to bury that quote.   As far as I’m concerned you are the one who has taken this thread sideways, as I was happy to be one of many voices chiming in and not the center of attention, which you have attempted to make me with this nostalgic post. 

Fathertime!

[JR33]

    Another thread gone to [snip]e.Fathertime strikes again!!!

[sean126]

Personally I think it's Sir William The Old's (who looks young for his age) fault.  He just looks like a shady character to me. 

[bcc_1_2]

Haha!  I gotta laugh that you were so interested in me to spend the time to dig through the archives and cherry pick all those quotes, some of which are 4 years old. 

I see you failed to address why you called anybody who proposes to a woman on a first trip ‘dumb’. 

It took about 2 minutes. You go to trip reports. Search for father time... open any trip report and there you are writing about all the women that wouldn't even meet you... let alone accept a 2nd date.

As for proposing on the first trip. It is more than just dumb. It is freakin crazy. Wasn't it the wise CaliPro that compared young attractive latinas to monkeys (in the sense that they dont let go of another man until they've decided to get with a new guy).

After 7, 9, 12, 14 etc days... you hardly know her and frankily she could still be getting porked by her local b/f (who if he found out about ole bloated ugly FT would not be happy).

[bcc_1_2]

    Another thread gone to [snip]e.Fathertime strikes again!!!

yea i know. but come on now you cant just tell some random poster that all (or nearly all) the ladies are going to be interested in a 2nd date. Which as I've noted above isn't even true based on FT's actual experience.

the fact that after i quoted several trials and tribulations he had on his trips and he still won't issue better advice... like watch out for those that will take advantage of you... are insincere... etc... might go to show this is really only about promoting an expensive agency and nothing to do with issuing solid advice.

[william3rd]

no JR-puss boy, tis you and only you and a few other seemingly deranged folks that now continue to place principles ahead of personalities. You should be out chasing men instead of young boys.

I got you on ignore, deluded jackass. But the way these discourses continue, maybe it is just time to just let the @$(&*#$&* lunatics and losers have the asylum. . . .

[fathertime]

It took about 2 minutes. You go to trip reports. Search for father time... open any trip report and there you are writing about all the women that wouldn't even meet you... let alone accept a 2nd date.

It took bCc 2 minutes to dig through the archives and isolate all these particular posts, another lie, insignificant, but nonetheless another falsehood.   It seems you also have a hard time admitting how interested you are in me and my history!  I suggest you spend another couple hours and find some more quotes of mine, perhaps you can make a scrapbook of them all and put them on Ebay! Title it 'Quotes from a bloated, gasbag happily married to a Colombian queen'

the fact that after i quoted several trials and tribulations he had on his trips and he still won't issue better advice... like watch out for those that will take advantage of you... are insincere... etc... might go to show this is really only about promoting an expensive agency and nothing to do with issuing solid advice.

Those quotes did not prove your point about second dates, and any newbie that decides to view the thread in context will see that you researched extensively and then threw together a hodge-podge of quotes which you then dishonestly portrayed it as if ‘second dates’ were a problem.  The bulk of those quotes are discussing defunct or near defunct agencies in Cali and are addressing first dates not showing up which might be an interesting read for newbies.  In the past, this was a problem with agencies in Cali, although I did not experience that nearly as much in Barranquilla.  The fact remains that once a gal met me in a group setting, I was able to procure a second date in nearly all the cases, which was the point I made to OSA and still remains as a fact.
As it stands I found my wife due to latinwife.com and have no problem relaying that experience to any newbie  that is considering using this agency. 

As for you bCc, you generally have very little experience with women, and no experience in Barranquilla and none with this particular agency yet you seem to find it very important to ‘warn’ everybody about how terrible it is (another strange obsession of yours).    Clearly this is a personal grudge you have and your information is intentionally misleading and based out of anger because your feelings were hurt from being slapped down on previous threads.

Now back to your claim that people are ‘dumb’ if they choose to engage their lady on the first date. I have given my thoughts on that matter but here they are again for your further review: “”Generally speaking, it is usually a high risk to engage a woman on a first trip, but I’m not going to tell somebody not to do it and I’m not going to call them ‘dumb’ either. There is a significant percentage of posters on this site that engaged/married on their first trip, including Utopian Cowboy, so is he ‘dumb’? I figure a percentage of people read the signs, calculate the risk/reward, and decide to take the plunge despite the risk. That is not ‘dumb’, what is dumb is to categorize all these men as ‘dumb’ as you did.””

My case is rock solid, if you feel the need to personally debate me, you are always welcome to take me to the 'pl court', but to intentially congest threads is unfair to the newbie that had legitimate questions which are being put on the back burner due to your personal grudges.

Fathertime!

[bcc_1_2]

It took bCc 2 minutes to dig through the archives and isolate all these particular posts, another lie

As for you bCc, you generally have very little experience with women,

The only way you work and get through undergrad and grad school in 5 years is if you speed read and type (copy & paste in this case) fast. Literally no more than two minutes to do it. Those quotes were all taken from the first posts of your TR... imagine what I could have found if I really dug through them.

As for my experience with women... how would you know?

Being a high school varsity athlete and college scholarship athlete... along with all the keggers we had in my friend's warehouse (that belonged to his dad) sure made it difficult to gain any "experience" with women. Thanks for reminding of those terrible times. If only I'd have hiked my pants up... maybe I would have had more success.

[fathertime]

The only way you work and get through undergrad and grad school in 5 years is if you speed read and type (copy & paste in this case) fast. Literally no more than two minutes to do it. Those quotes were all taken from the first posts of your TR... imagine what I could have found if I really dug through them.
 

Sorry buddy I don’t buy it for a second, but you seem pretty invested though in telling everybody how it took Mr SuperKid only two minutes to go scan all those old posts and pick out the parts you wanted to further dialogue about.   

Being a high school varsity athlete and college scholarship athlete... along with all the keggers we had in my friend's warehouse (that belonged to his dad) sure made it difficult to gain any "experience" with women. Thanks for reminding of those terrible times. If only I'd have hiked my pants up... maybe I would have had more success.

Why do you think it is so necessary to tell me about your high school career of athletics? What you are implying, I’m neither interested in or buying.

Compared to the men of this site, your scant few years exposure to women is a pittance and your grandiose portrayal of yourself is really pitiful…Only a poster with a certain naivete would taut his High School kegger parties as a wealth of experience with women! You fail to see how silly that seems to your average poster here.  When you can get real about what you can offer the forum, your posts will have more value.  As it stands, you are commenting in areas for the purpose of destruction rather than giving useful advice. In addition to that, you used sentence fragments in the quotation box and misreprespresented the quote on at least two occassions on this thread alone.  This is not what the man was looking for.

As I have already mentioned, if you feel the need to debate a specific point with me, you are welcome to take it to the PL court or flame room.   I'd like to see this poster return, so he can get his questions answered, without your misrepresentations.

Fathertime!

[utopiacowboy]

True, I violated all the "rules" but I'm still married 6 years later.

[Researcher]

   Hey UC, I just bought a lottery ticket.Would you touch it if I drive to Texas because you are one lucky guy!!


   Researcher

[sean126]

I've got one crazier.  I knew a girl in college and she relayed to me how she was at a party one night, without her boyfriend, met a guy and eloped the next day!  When I had met her she had been married a few years already and going strong.  She even had a weird name....Kiki.  American chick, blonde...very hot.

[Researcher]

   I don't see any harm in advising someone not to rush into anything.I think bcc is entitled to his opinion.


 Researcher

[bcc_1_2]

What you are implying]

if you have to ask.....


NAIA

National Association of Intercourse for Athletes

[Ray]

She even had a weird name....Kiki.

Hey Sean,

Do you know what "kiki" means in Tagalog?

Oh, never mind... 

[sean126]

by your smiley face I guess it means something nasty or does it mean "DallasSteve loves Papi" ?  

[Osa]

hi guys.  well, I go away for a few days to do some "field work" and get my beak wet, and I come back to this?   haha you guys are crazy 

well here is what I have been up to:

Although I am very intrigued by the idea of using an agency when I go this year, I was basically not left with much to do as far as talking to girls in the meantime.  So I figured I'd start building some connections in advance, basically going with a hybrid approach as someone mentioned very early on around here.  So I created an account at latinamericancupid.com , created a profile, and began interacting.

So here's what happened.  I began engaging in IM conversations (it helps that I speak/type pretty good spanish), clicking the "I'm interested button" on girls that seemed nice, and even sent a sort of form letter of introduction of myself to about 30 girls from Barranquilla who met my search criteria and whom I found pretty. 

To give you an idea here are some statistics, as of a minute ago:

66 ladies have clicked the "I'm interested button" on me

34 messages received (but more than one from quite a few girls)

27 girls I've had IM conversations with and have saved as "Online Buddies"

9 girls have favorited me

So its a pretty active site, and I seem to be generating interested.  From IM conversations I've had, I seem to be a little younger and a little more handsome than the average guy on there, so that might be a factor.

Here is what has actually panned out:

I really like the IMing feature.  I'd had significant conversations with maybe 6 girls, sometimes becoming marathon conversations that lasted hours where we really explored a lot of stuff.   At first, I was really trying to limit myself to Barranquilla, to give myself a plan B for using latin-wife.

But...I kept seeing so many pretty faces from places besides Barranquilla, and I kept clicking and IMing girls from different places, so now I have prospects spreadout all over latin america, from dominican republic to chile.  uh oh 

Then..I began talking with one particular girl.  This one girl has been capturing my heart; she is very sweet and affectionate.  We've IM'd every day for the last week.  She is 22 (my target age has been 24), no kids, and very fun and funny to talk with.  We've chatted for probably 30 hours at this point.  At one point, I called her from my cell phone (that didnt sound too clear), yesterday she called me at my landline from an Internet Cafe, and that was pretty clear so we talked for like 30 minutes, and tomorrow I'm supposed to call her home with a calling card I have.

Thing is, she is from Cali, not Barranquilla.  However, she has really gained my interest, and I'm willing to visit her.  I figure a worst case scenario is it doesn't pan out, but I can still draw from the pool of eligibles in Cali to make my trip worth it.  And if that doesn't work, oh well, I can go the agency route the next time around. The best case scenario is we have as much chemistry as we do IMing and we spend 9 days enjoying the attractions and romancing the stone.

So this is where I am at. I think I'll post a second post with questions I have.

[Researcher]

    Osa,
        The best way to approach this is what works best for you.If you like the internet thing or agency way then go for it.I used both when I was looking.My goal then was to meet women, how really didn' matter that much.There are advantages and disadvantages to both.All that has been debated here on PL.As far as agencies go, I think one should check out the "word of mouth" of each agency to find out which ones are not total scams but then decide which one they like the best.Jamie's is definitely one to consider.Also Medillin Cuties owned by mudd who posts here.He is a straight shooter.I used LAI in Bogota.It worked for me but then I didn't need alot of assistance.



    Researcher

[Osa]

ok here is my chock full of questions post

1) is going to visit a particular Latin American city because you are very excited about one girl you have met online a good idea? 

2) Okay this should have been question one: safety first.  How can I ensure (insofar as it is possible) my safety during a trip to Cali?  Do I really need a guide?  Is it not enough to merely stay in the safe areas at safe hours?  (I speak spanish, though with a detectable accent, and look, because I am, latino) You will say no.  Ok, so where does one even begin to look for a guide, and do I need one all 9 days I will be there, and what does he do when my date and I walking around taking pictures of old churches?  Hang back 50 feet?

3) The girl I have met is seems to be very family oriented.  She insists I meet her family right away, in fact, she is even lobbying me to have some of her family members accompany her to greet me at the airport.  How should I handle this?  Her rationale is her family is not going to let her galavant around town with some foreigner until they meet him first, which seems reasonable, but I was hoping to delay the whole meet mom thing until a day or two, after her and I have had a chance to warm up a bit.  Advice?

4) Oh speaking of family, she says no way her family is gonna let her spend nights with me in my hotel (as much as I, and her, would like that).  So its gonna be us spending days together doing stuff, then me alone in my room, composing a trip report I guess 

5) Speaking of hotel, I spent some time today looking into it.  The real fancy ones don't interest me (like Intercontinental and Radisson) plus I'd like to keep it around $75 a night. So far the Cali Plaza (caliplaza.com) seems to be fitting the bill, plus I've seen alot of good reviews of it online.  But I am open to suggestions.  Here's what I need in a hotel:

- Security (that I see and feel, and is armed guards or whatever)

- Wifi

- A restaurant and bar at lobby level

- Good things to do in a safe neighborhood within walking distance

- Easy Taxi requesting and pick-up

- Um...anything else I should need?

6) Cell phone usage - how do the rest of you use it?  Do you "rent" a cell phone when you get there?  Bring your normal cell phone and change the sim card?

I have more questions but that's it for now, don't want to overwhelm.  thanks in advance for advice.

[Researcher]

   1)I always had more than one woman to meet when I travelled.I didn't mind coming home empty handed it's just that I think dating women ,internationally,one at a time could take a while.

   2)If you can blend in that is a big plus.Just don't dress flashy and act too much like a tourist.Don't carrry any valuables including your passport.Make a copy to carry and put the original in a safe place.

   3)Nothing wrong with meeting the fam. Its understandable that they want to meet you right off.Do it if you are comfortable with it.

   4)Will be good to hear the trip report.

   5)Calipro might can advise on hotel.Been a while since I was there last.

   6)Never use my cellphone when I travel.If I need to call I do it from the hotel.


    Good Luck,

    Researcher

[michaelb]

ok here is my chock full of questions post

1) is going to visit a particular Latin American city because you are very excited about one girl you have met online a good idea?

For what it's worth, I did exactly that.


2) Okay this should have been question one: safety first.  How can I ensure (insofar as it is possible) my safety during a trip to Cali?  Do I really need a guide?  Is it not enough to merely stay in the safe areas at safe hours?  (I speak spanish, though with a detectable accent, and look, because I am, latino) You will say no.  Ok, so where does one even begin to look for a guide, and do I need one all 9 days I will be there, and what does he do when my date and I walking around taking pictures of old churches?  Hang back 50 feet?

Guide? Pay somebody to be a guide? What on earth for? (or did you actually mean 'bodyguard'?) If your Spanish is good like you said, you should be fine. You don't have to pass as a native, just be understood. Use the lady for a guide, she'll have some places in mind to take you. Some guys like to 'test' the lady, OK, here's a test. The places she wants to take you, do they look like shopping and fancy clubs and restaurants for her benefit or do they look like a sincere effort to show you the parts of her city she's proud of and thinks will be interesting to you? Either way, I think she'll be very protective and won't let you go any places that you shouldn't be going to. And, you already mentioned the major problem with hiring a guide and/or interpreter, 'two is company, three is a crowd'.


3) The girl I have met is seems to be very family oriented.  She insists I meet her family right away, in fact, she is even lobbying me to have some of her family members accompany her to greet me at the airport.  How should I handle this?  Her rationale is her family is not going to let her galavant around town with some foreigner until they meet him first, which seems reasonable, but I was hoping to delay the whole meet mom thing until a day or two, after her and I have had a chance to warm up a bit.  Advice?

Hey, if they come to the airport, they come to the airport, nothing you can do about it. Advice? Be polite to them. If they provide transportation (i.e. bring their own car) offer to pay the tolls and parking fees. If they don't bring their own car, that means you all leave in a taxi. Make sure they give the driver his instructions and you pay, or at least offer to. Offer to buy the bunch of them something to eat.  

4) Oh speaking of family, she says no way her family is gonna let her spend nights with me in my hotel (as much as I, and her, would like that).  So its gonna be us spending days together doing stuff, then me alone in my room, composing a trip report I guess  Undecided

What? You can't do what needs doing in the day time? (wink wink, nudge nudge), that is, unless they send her old maid aunt along with her as a chaperon.


5) Speaking of hotel, I spent some time today looking into it.  The real fancy ones don't interest me (like Intercontinental and Radisson) plus I'd like to keep it around $75 a night. So far the Cali Plaza (caliplaza.com) seems to be fitting the bill, plus I've seen alot of good reviews of it online.  But I am open to suggestions.  Here's what I need in a hotel:

- Security (that I see and feel, and is armed guards or whatever)

- Wifi

- A restaurant and bar at lobby level

- Good things to do in a safe neighborhood within walking distance

- Easy Taxi requesting and pick-up

- Um...anything else I should need?

I don't even remember what hotel I used. At $80.00 a day(edit, was it that much? now I can't remember, but whatever it was, at the time it seemed to be too much), I thought it was somewhat over priced for what I got, but she wouldn't let me move to a cheaper one (see 'very protective', above). It did have most of the stuff you mentioned, except wifi, but then I didn't bring a PC anyway, so that didn't matter, besides, wifi wasn't common even in the US back then, I'll bet it still isn't in Colombia (but internet cafes are common), although somebody who has been there recently would know that better than I. The hotel did have a doorman/guard, but I can't remember if he was armed, it had a taxi stand with usually one or two available, if none were there the desk would call one and they'd be there in just a couple of minutes, a fair restaurant (this hotel included a breakfast buffet in the price of the room, I understand that's very common). Why not ask the lady to suggest a hotel?

6) Cell phone usage - how do the rest of you use it?  Do you "rent" a cell phone when you get there?  Bring your normal cell phone and change the sim card?


I have more questions but that's it for now, don't want to overwhelm.  thanks in advance for advice.

[Osa]

hey good answers, guys, one and all.

interesting update from just now:

I called potential Ms. Right this morning (we had planned to do a phone call today but I called her in the morning cause I wanted to surprise her; plus, I had just installed Skype and wanted to try it out).

We talked for about two and half hours (more about Skype a little later), a very fun, funny, lovey-dovey conversation.

At some point I asked her if she was going to tell her mom about me, if I was planning to come.  She says she would tell her "en un ratiko" (a little while) which I took to mean "in due time."

Well towards the end the end of the conversation, with almost no warning whatsoever, she puts her mother on the line to greet me!  After freezing for a moment, I begin introducing myself and where I'm from and how I met her daughter (online), etc.  Her mother was immensely sweet, and gave me every indication that I would be welcome if I came.  It was all together pleasant (if only a little bit nerve wracking).

Then after that, potential Ms. Right puts on her older and only brother!  He too was down to earth, and I asked him more questions that he asked me (old conversation trick: the person asking questons is in control, not the one answering them).  He seemed like really cool people, that he might even make a cool friend someday.  Oh by the way he told me a) that Cali is not as dangerous as it used to be and b) He too has met some girls internationally, at least online, mostly from Russia.

Anyway that was done.  It was sweet, but left me a little emotionally drained so we sweetly ended the call.

Now I'm sitting here typing

Oh wait...more about Skype.  Not so much with calling a cell phone, but when calling a landline internationally, the sound quality is excellent. I just so happened to have a mic/earphone combo thingy in my junk drawer that worked perfectly.  So I purchased a $10 "skype credit" and that enabled me to talk for almost 3 hours.  Not that I plan on continuing to buy credits, but I wanted to try out Skype's sound quality.  Now I think I will sign up for the $12.99 month to month plan for *unlimited* calling to Colombia.  Sounds like a good deal and an economical way to cultivate a courtship.

[utopiacowboy]

I did send some money to my wife before I had met her in person. It was a little test. I wanted her to get a web cam so I sent her $20 to get one. I wanted to see if she would follow through on what she said. She did and I got a lot more than $20 worth of enjoyment out of that web cam.