Family planning & birth control in SA . Your thoughts and experiences ?

[singlefather no more]

Family planning & birth control in SA . Your thoughts and experiences ?

I think this is an important and serious topic.

Maybe this subject can help some guys that have Novia's , just got engaged or married. From talking with a lot of guys over the years the prevalent opinion is that a lot of Latina women hate condoms and don't take any birth control.. So be aware of that when you travel guys..

Hey guys I posted this post below on a Peru site before I got married in December and we got about 80 posts in response..

I am posting this to get the conversation going.. Doctor zack our resident Medical Doctor hopefully will pop in with his thoughts , advice and opinions.

Again below is a re-post of a post I did on a Peru forum and the owner of that site who is a friend of mine has no trouble with me re-posting it here.

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I was talking to my Novia and soon to be wife Thursday night. We try to talk about all topics and try to communicate with each other well. My Novia is from Chiclayo.

I brought up the topic of family planning and birth control pills. I am going to be in Peru for 27 days in December to January when we are getting married so I umm cough cough want to be careful.

Yes of course I will be responsible and use condoms. But that does not always work well.

She was frightened to take anything and had heard that if you took something like birth control pills you might not be able to get pregnant in the future.

I did not want to debate her on this and tell her that was wrong without a good way of explaining it.. I know this might be a touchy and controversial subject here.

Anyone have any advice from a Peruvian perspective or an expat perspective on how to talk to her about this ?

She was raised and is Catholic.
She is University Educated with a good job.
She comes from a good family.

We have talked and agreed to wait 2 years after she gets to Canada before trying for a baby.

I do not want her getting pregnant in Peru where I don't have full confidence in the Peruvian Medical system and she lives in Chiclayo which is far from Lima.

I love my future wife with all my heart and soul and her health and well being is very important to me and I will put her first before me always.

I never thought I would find a love of my life again after the loss of my late wife nearly 4.5 years ago. That was devastating loss to go through for my children and I.

So yes I am very very sensitive to my soon to be wife's health and I want the best for her always including medical care.

I thank you from the for your feedback , opinions and advice.

Have a great day,

singlefather


..

[bcc_1_2]

The common denominator in this is the catholic church. If the issue is just a lack of education on birth control, then that is something I'm sure you can work through. If the issue is no birth control because the catholic church says so (and she is very devote, then you are basically screwed).

Forget for a moment that I don't believe in god as this has nothing to do with him (or her, god could be a she right?). The catholic church scares religion into little kids. If they aren't in catholic school they make the kids attend night classes. It is very possible that on the issue of birth control that it has been scared into the women. I've noticed less devote catholics in the girls in their 20s, but for the olders ones they may very well not be willing to use birth control for their religious reasons. In that case I can tell you no amount of rational dialogue will help. Being a catholic is basically just all about getting to heaven. Crap the church is back in the business of indulgences again.

Anyways I grew up with it so if anyone knows about it sadly its me.

[Jeff S]

The original research on birth control pills was to develop a drug to make women MORE fertile. One of the side effects was that a woman couldn't get pregnant while taking them. This means that once she stops, she's more likely to get pregnant than less. Unfortunately they make her more susceptible to cancer. My sister was a lifelong BCP user and died of liver cancer in her mid 50s. She had other risk factors but the combination did her in way too young.

There are other options besides condoms and BCPs - things that don't take daily maintenance like an IUDs or a vasectomy for you. Both of these things don't take remembering to do anything and they're both reversible in the event you decide you want more children.

The nice thing about the vasectomy is that you take care of it and she doesn't have to have any religious conflict about the situation. I know Mexicans in Catholic church weddings are required to swear that they'll bear as many children as God will give them without interference. I don't know if that's required in other LA countries, but I suspect so. Obviously not all women follow this oath, but the ones I know who have taken the oath and use birth control do have concerns about the conflict with their faith.

[utopiacowboy]

My wife is a pretty devout Catholic who used the rhythm method most of her married life. Until later in life it served her well, then she wasn't as regular. So she switched to something called the nuvaring. She doesn't have any qualms about using contraceptives.

[Ray]

First of all, I would recommend that you completely ignore just about everything that bcc told you about the Catholic Church’s policy on the subject because, regardless of his claims to have grown up with it, he simply doesn’t know what he is talking about. Do your own research.

If she is concerned about using artificial birth control because of religious reasons, you still have some options available. Look into modern Natural Family Planning, which is endorsed by the Church.

My question for you is: Do you guys want to have children and how many? If the answer is yes, then I wouldn’t arbitrarily wait for a couple of years unless you have a real good reason to do so. Depending on her age, the chances of having children is decreasing every year that you wait. Keep in mind that she may not necessarily be able to get pregnant right away when you do decide to give it a try. I would allow a couple of years for a successful pregnancy to take hold just in case.

When you do get to the point that you both decide not to have any more kids, you can get snipped which will essentially take most of the religious issues for her, assuming that there are any, off of the table.

On the subject of birth control pills, like Jeff mentioned, there are some risks involved if she takes them for a long time (10+ years?). Discuss this with your family doctor or her OBGYN.

Ray

[Chris F]

Hey singlefater no more!!!

When I was courting my wife in Peru for over a year, she was getting birth control injections once a month in Peru. When she arrived here, she went on the patch which you change once a week.

Let her know that once you go off birth control for six months, she should have no problem getting pregnant.

[Pivery]

  While discussing how many children we wanted with my lady just this past week, I joked with her and told her I wanted 15-20 children and we would have them all spread out on a granja! Because she is semi-devout, I wasn't sure she would realize that I was only joking, but she said no that wouldn't be responsible. Maybe two.

And on top of that, she said it was my responsibility to INSURE that we only have two, so I guess I'll be sleeping on the couch alot more than I expected to!!

Pivery 

[pablo]

There are other options besides condoms and BCPs - things that don't take daily maintenance like an IUDs or a vasectomy for you. Both of these things don't take remembering to do anything and they're both reversible in the event you decide you want more children.

The nice thing about the vasectomy is that you take care of it and she doesn't have to have any religious conflict about the situation.

Vasectomies are not always reversible and there are health implications.  To name just a few:

• Life-long autoimmune (allergic) responses
• Chronic testicular pain (Post-Vasectomy Pain Syndrome)
• Decreased testicular function including changes in testosterone production
• Chronic inflammation including the formation of sperm granulomas
• Scrotal and epididymal cyst formation including Spermatocele and Hydrocele cysts
• Congestive and infectious epididymitis
• Prostatitis
• Prostate cancer
• Testicular atrophy (shrinking of the testicles)
• Lung cancer
• Non-Hodgkins lymphoma
• Testicular cancer
• Erectile dysfunction/impotence
• Circulatory problems including phlebitis
• Rheumatoid arthritis
• Pulmonary embolism
• Lupus
• Atheosclerosis (hardening of the arteries leading to heart disease)
• Autoimmune orchitis (degeneration of testicular tissues due to antibody action)
• Staph infections including infections of the heart valves
• Gangrene of the scrotum and other serious infections
• Vasitis nodosa (chronic inflammation of the vas deferens)
• Loss of libido
• Multiple myeloma
• Personality disturbances
• Diabetes
• Multiple sclerosis
• Adrenal gland dysfunction
• Migraine and other related headaches
• Hypoglycemia
• Narcolepsy
• Generalized lymph node enlargement
• Liver dysfunction

Source: http://www.quiverfull.com/birth_control/dangersofvasectomy.html

[utopiacowboy]

A long time ago I decided that I would never have a vasectomy. Thanks Pablo for providing support for that position. No knives down there!

[zack]

Singlefather no more-

My wife is more qualified to address the question of birth control because she is a family doctor who worked in a clinic in Colombia. She saw more than 40 patients per day, many of whom were inquiring about birth control methods. She said that the vast majority of Catholic Colombian women have no moral issues about taking birth control pills while married. If your wife has religious issues about this, she is a lot more conservative than the typical Catholic Colombian woman (I know your wife is from Peru). Birth control pills will NOT decrease one's chances of getting pregnant in the future. While they may slightly increase the chances of getting breast cancer, hypertension, and blood clots, they decrease the chances of getting ovarian cancer, endometrial cancer, and pelvic inflammatory disease. Hence it is a risk/benefit issue. My wife has been taking birth control pills for years without problems.

If your wife is still hesitant to take BCPs, and if you don't like condoms, you may want to consider spermicidal jelly and the withdrawal method. Don't use either one alone. The latter requires self-control but if done correctly it is effective if used with spermicidal jelly.

There is a website that discusses the pros and cons of all birth control methods:

http://www.4woman.gov/faq/birth-control-methods.cfm#two

[Ray]

Vasectomies are not always reversible and there are health implications.  To name just a few:

• Life-long autoimmune (allergic) responses
• Chronic testicular pain (Post-Vasectomy Pain Syndrome)
• Decreased testicular function including changes in testosterone production
• Chronic inflammation including the formation of sperm granulomas
• Scrotal and epididymal cyst formation including Spermatocele and Hydrocele cysts
• Congestive and infectious epididymitis
• Prostatitis
• Prostate cancer
• Testicular atrophy (shrinking of the testicles)
• Lung cancer
• Non-Hodgkins lymphoma
• Testicular cancer
• Erectile dysfunction/impotence
• Circulatory problems including phlebitis
• Rheumatoid arthritis
• Pulmonary embolism
• Lupus
• Atheosclerosis (hardening of the arteries leading to heart disease)
• Autoimmune orchitis (degeneration of testicular tissues due to antibody action)
• Staph infections including infections of the heart valves
• Gangrene of the scrotum and other serious infections
• Vasitis nodosa (chronic inflammation of the vas deferens)
• Loss of libido
• Multiple myeloma
• Personality disturbances
• Diabetes
• Multiple sclerosis
• Adrenal gland dysfunction
• Migraine and other related headaches
• Hypoglycemia
• Narcolepsy
• Generalized lymph node enlargement
• Liver dysfunction

Pablo,

I think you inadvertently left out Dandruff, Hemorrhoids, Acne, and Belly-Button Lint…

[singlefather no more]

Vasectomies are not always reversible and there are health implications.  To name just a few:

• Life-long autoimmune (allergic) responses
• Chronic testicular pain (Post-Vasectomy Pain Syndrome)
• Decreased testicular function including changes in testosterone production
• Chronic inflammation including the formation of sperm granulomas
• Scrotal and epididymal cyst formation including Spermatocele and Hydrocele cysts
• Congestive and infectious epididymitis
• Prostatitis
• Prostate cancer
• Testicular atrophy (shrinking of the testicles)
• Lung cancer
• Non-Hodgkins lymphoma
• Testicular cancer
• Erectile dysfunction/impotence
• Circulatory problems including phlebitis
• Rheumatoid arthritis
• Pulmonary embolism
• Lupus
• Atheosclerosis (hardening of the arteries leading to heart disease)
• Autoimmune orchitis (degeneration of testicular tissues due to antibody action)
• Staph infections including infections of the heart valves
• Gangrene of the scrotum and other serious infections
• Vasitis nodosa (chronic inflammation of the vas deferens)
• Loss of libido
• Multiple myeloma
• Personality disturbances
• Diabetes
• Multiple sclerosis
• Adrenal gland dysfunction
• Migraine and other related headaches
• Hypoglycemia
• Narcolepsy
• Generalized lymph node enlargement
• Liver dysfunction

Source: http://www.quiverfull.com/birth_control/dangersofvasectomy.html

Pablo,

I think all the men reading this thread are in a lot of pain just imagining the snip and all the health implications..

Ouchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Everyone,

Thank you for your responses in this very interesting thread. I will answer back to all those above posts later on tonight..


thanks,

singlefather no more


..

[zoomastermo]

Wow!  And I thought making the doctor and nurse laugh while doing the surgery was about the worst thing you could do!  Thanks a lot Pablo, before that list I always felt like I had mocked Death and Dismemberment (ok mainly Dismemberment) in the face.   

[pablo]

Zoomaster,

A la orden!  Any time I can be of assistance to the troops. 

Mocking dismemberment huh?  Is that why your tongue is out and left hind leg lifted licking that wound? 

Be careful, its not nice to fool Mother Nature nor Papa Pene.

[michaelb]

Pointy haired boss: Headquarters told me they wanted some of my programmers to be eunuchs. I signed you up for it.

Dilbert: That's "unix"......and I'm already certified for it.

Pointy haired boss: Oh, OK, then. So when the company nurse comes around, tell her I said never mind.

[RJS]

Singlefather no more-

My wife is more qualified to address the question of birth control because she is a family doctor who worked in a clinic in Colombia. She saw more than 40 patients per day, many of whom were inquiring about birth control methods. She said that the vast majority of Catholic Colombian women have no moral issues about taking birth control pills while married. If your wife has religious issues about this, she is a lot more conservative than the typical Catholic Colombian woman (I know your wife is from Peru). Birth control pills will NOT decrease one's chances of getting pregnant in the future. While they may slightly increase the chances of getting breast cancer, hypertension, and blood clots, they decrease the chances of getting ovarian cancer, endometrial cancer, and pelvic inflammatory disease. Hence it is a risk/benefit issue. My wife has been taking birth control pills for years without problems.

If your wife is still hesitant to take BCPs, and if you don't like condoms, you may want to consider spermicidal jelly and the withdrawal method. Don't use either one alone. The latter requires self-control but if done correctly it is effective if used with spermicidal jelly.

There is a website that discusses the pros and cons of all birth control methods:

http://www.4woman.gov/faq/birth-control-methods.cfm#two

This is comforting. You guys were scaring the [snip] out of me that it would be a big deal to get the gf on the pill. Condoms suck but I don't want little brats running around any time soon.

[utopiacowboy]

This is comforting. You guys were scaring the [snip] out of me that it would be a big deal to get the gf on the pill. Condoms suck but I don't want little brats running around any time soon.

Other people's kids are little brats. Your own are little angels. Just kidding....

[Bob_S]

Other people's kids are little brats. Your own are little angels.

No, mine is demon spawn. 

BTW, when my wife went off the pill, she was preggers in 3 months.  All planned of course.  That was now almost 4 years ago.  Dang, how time flies!