Hello

[Richard77]

Hello all,

I have been reading the boards for a couple days and decided to resister. I am currently married, but choosing to get divorced. There are many reasons for this, but one of the most prevalent is that I have always wanted to be with a Latina woman.

It may sound strange, but I was just not happy being with the woman I married even when I married her, but felt I needed to for some reason. I'm not saying that a Latina woman will be totally different, but that is what I am attracted to physically and I hear good things about some of their common traits.

I am a 31 year old professional and interested to learn from your experiences on how to not get ripped off. There is a small chance that it would happen anyway because I am upper middle class, but I am as cheap as flee market. I would not send money to someone that I have not met.

Now for a few question if anyone could take the time to give their opinion. What do you think about Amigos.com? What is the best site for a man looking for a columbian wife?

Thanks for your time,

Richard

[bcc_1_2]

Richard,

you might try colombiancupid.com as well. Hopefully on those profiles there is a seperated option for you to select. Either way before I went down I'd make sure my marriage was behind me both legally and mentally. If you are already searching for a new girl... hopefully the wife knows you are planning to divorce.

Lot of people correspond online, so you'll actually have to show up before most of the chicas take you seriously. Maybe for now you should just research and postpone a search until you are close to being able to go down. My friends say divorce hits the wallet pretty hard.

[Ray]

First, this site isn't for married guys looking for a girlfriend if that's your intention.

This is just my opinion, but I don't think you have any business looking for a wife while you are married. It wouldn't be fair to the young ladies seriously looking for a husband to be played by a married guy.

If you are going to divorce your wife, then my advice would be to file the papers, get everything finalized, then come back when you are single and ready to start looking.

If I misunderstood your situation, then please clarify.

Ray

[Pivery]

 
  Hi Richard,

Welcome aboard. Sorry to hear about your marriage, it definitely hurts to have to rebuild your life after a split-up. I was married for almost 15 years to a nice woman but I never really knew her. We had a child early on, so we sort of stayed together to raise her.

But I have since found a woman in Colombia that supports and takes very good care of me as a woman should and although it sounds hokey nowadays, she really is my soulmate. I never really put too much stock into that notion until recently. I do believe that there is a woman for every man out there. Obviously the trick is to find that woman with your name on her...

There are many agencies and services out there, and many here have favorite agencies they have used and some that are shady as well. Depends on how much you are looking to spend, if you want to email ladies first and go it alone or have an agency with an assistant / translator to help you along if you are unfamiliar with where you end up going and / or do not speak Spanish too well.

If you don't come across as a rich American that is dropping money like you were at Las Vegas when you go, you should be fine. Don't lie to them, treat them with the respect that American women no longer care for anymore and be funny and friendly gets you many points. Needless to say having some command of Spanish is a benefit as well.

Good luck in your search for your soulmate!

Pivery

[Richard77]

Thanks Pivery,


Just for information sake, my wife and I don't live together or talk anymore. I am not divorced yet because I am waiting for her to agree to pay half. I am very frugal.

What i am looking for at this time is not someone to play, but to look around by e-mailing, chatting and instant messaging for about a year before I meet someone. This again goes to being frugal about the cost of a plan ticket.

I am by no means poor, but I do not like to spend money.

[michaelb]

I am not divorced yet because I am waiting for her to agree to pay half.

Say What?  Now I've heard everything. If you really want to save money, here's some musical advice for you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OK_aArpKpE

[Richard77]

Michael,

Just wait until she meets someone she likes and has to tell them that she is officially married. She or she and he will be glad to pay eventually.


I am very excited about what I see on this site so far. I am guessing in the next motnth or so I will check out a peronal site like one of the cupids.

[Pivery]

 
Hi again Richard,
 
Again let me say welcome and I will pass on casting the first stone at you. We all have a past and I would be a poor candidate of judging anyone here.

What type of lady are you looking for? Are you looking for a girlfriend or are you looking to get married again?

As I have said in other parts of this forum to other dudes, I really believe there is a woman out there for every man. The trick is obviously to find that woman. The first marriage for most of us at least, is used as an example of things you did right and wrong as well. For her as well. Nobody was perfect in the relationship, so you pick up the pieces and move on.

Once you find that woman you were supposed to be with the whole time, you won't even understand how you ever lived without her and will take what you learned from the first marriage and will apply what you learned to the second one. That's what I am doing, and I feel like I have been given a second chance. I have no intention of ruining such a good thing that I have. So I spoil my lady not so much with money but with attention, praise and compliments. Stuff I never did in my first marriage. So hopefully you can get yourself to that point and you both will benefit from what you learned the first time.

Good Luck! 

Pivery

[Capstone]

Hi Richard,

Welcome to the board. There is a wealth of information here from all the guys that have been in your shoes before and are now married to some lovely foreign ladies.

I don't want to put a damper on your expectations but if you are really as frugal as you say then you may be in for a pretty rude awakening as to how much that the entire process of meeting, marrying and bringing a foreign fiancee or wife to the US ultimately costs. When you add up the costs of the multiple trips that you will need to take, plus the visa/immigration fees, etc you may be astounded as to what it will all eventually cost. I for one am in the process of obtaining a K-1 visa for my fiancee and I estimate that I have spent over $10,000 on the process so far and I am probably only a little over half way there. Of course my fiancee is from China so my trips to see her cost a bit more than trips to Latin America would but still the required expenses do add up rather quickly.

Again, I don't mean to rain on your parade so to speak but knowing what the expected expenses are for such an undertaking in advance is important to know.

[Richard77]

Thank you Pivery and capstone. Yes I am very frugal, but I believe this will be worth it.

Pivery,

I am very much looking for that that woman that I will know that I should be with her for the rest of my life. I did not do much to support this marriage that is still valid, but over because I really didn't want to. She gained 50 lbs within 5 months of getting married and constantly yelled and screamed over little things. In otherwords in our two years together, she never came home from work and said what a good day she had, it was all bad.

Another reasons that I am doing this in addition to my attraction to Mexican and Columbian women is that Tom Leykis also recommends foreign women to American women.

I don't want a woman that is going to hound me until i have granite counter tops or hand scraped bamboo floors and other worthless stuff.

I hope to find what I am looking for because I am done with American women. The woman i married had kids and we went to soccer games and I saw all the other soccer moms that let themselves go and all the unhappy husbands that wont leave them because of the child support they would have to pay.

I am not bitter as I have no reason to be. I have no kids and I am attractive. My wife was attractive before we got married to.

Capstone,

10,000 is a lot of money. Wow, hopefully I will begin my search in Mexico and it would be cheaper since I live in Texas.

If I meet a woman that is affectionate, sweet and not nutts, then I will not mind spending my money on her.

[Pivery]

  Good for you Richard.

It's definitely nice to get a second chance. As for me, I can tell you, I have no intention of screwing up this one! But she is also completely different than my first lady. My first lady also gained weight, but this was over almost 15 years, so that should not really be noted. But my new lady is totally different. Constant praise, always thinking about me. Any little trinket or flower I give her gets me more kisses, hugs and attention than I can tell you here without it not sounding like I'm making it up. It really makes you fell like a man. Wow, I only wish I had found her all those years ago. But then again, maybe I would not appreciate her as much without my first misstep I had.

We are all here to get a beautiful, trusting and faithful lady who will love you more than you probrably think you deserve. Ask questions respectfully and go through the old posts and put together a game plan to get on the happy side of life. Yes, it does cost $, but I ask myself and you should as well: What is your happiness worth? She herself may not cost a whole lot of green as most Colombianas are quite frugal, but the process does. I can tell you once you get the right lady, you will forget what it took to get her I promise. 

Fight On!

Pivery

[Kiltboy1]

Hi Richard

I was reading your intro and you might want to rethink looking for a Latina. Of all the women from different nationalities I have met in my life, and I have met manyyyyyyyy, the Latina is the one that is not at all interested in dating or being with a frugal man. This is a culture thing to them in that the Latin man is expected and does pay and lavish them with material things. Not saying you could not find a Latina that will be of the "flee market" mentality, but if I had to lay down money in Vegas, I would not give you good odds at all. If I were you based on what you have said about $$, I would look at the Philippines or other Asian countries as those women live a more simple frugal life somewhat like what you are describing as your lifestyle. There is a reason most of us like the look of Latinas and to keep up that look, they need money to do there hair, nails, clothes, etc. Not trying to scare you off of looking for a Latina, just giving you the cultural facts of how they live and expect to be maintained by there man. Hope this helps give you some incite a little.

KB

[Pivery]

  Richard,

I wanted to elaborate on my last post and Kiltboy1 touched on it:

When I was dating latina women, 85-90% of the ones I encountered expected me to pay for everything. At first I thought that it was because I was a gringo, but then I realized that it's just just a cultural thing. They are mid to high maintenance to keep their figures, hair, nails, etc. going and the man is expected to pick up the tab for the most part.

However, my lady that ended up with my heart needs lees maintenance than my Honda, so I guess I got lucky in that regard. I completely spoil her just because of the way she makes me feel, but not because she asks for it or expects it. But Kiltboy1 is right, you should in general expect to shell out some $ for their upkeep. It's a two-way street though, so it's not like you're not getting anything in return for it!

Pivery 

[utopiacowboy]

Don't give them one thin dime.

[Bob_S]

Firstly, don't say you are married, say you are separated pending the filing of a divorce.  It looks better that way.


[]
Secondly, your soon-to-be ex won't cooperate on getting a divorce.  She's not going to find a new guy.  She's fattened up and loaded with nasty personal baggage.  What guy would want her?  She'll blame her loneliness on you and refuse to divorce just to spite you and keep you from moving on to find your own happiness.  Even if she does find some screwed up guy willing to take her on, she'll probably just shack up with him again screwing you over and preventing you from moving on.  Let me tell you, freedom is worth whatever you have to pay for it.  Stick a crowbar in your wallet, man up, and get the job done or you will never be in a position to find that happiness so many of us have already discovered at the far ends of the Earth.  The first step is to get to a lawyer to start the process of a no-fault divorce.  That is your first step to freedom.  I really hope you do this, because right now it sounds like you are stuck in a dark place.  IMHO, you need more than a meager ray of hope for a nice foreign spouse, you need a bright wide open door.
[/ ]


Thirdly, Kiltboy is right.  If money is an issue with you, the pursuit of a foreign bride might not be for you, especially a Latina or, to a slightly lesser extent, a Russkaya.  Courting a foreign bride is expensive to begin with, and these women are notoriously stereotypically high maintenance.  A lot of guys make the mistake of "in for a penny, in for a pound".  After spending thousand$ to court some woman, they feel pressure to push on and marry the girl.  They can't just walk away from their "investment" even when there are clear signs they are just not a match.  You have to be able to just walk away even after dropping loads of cash on multiple trips and gifts.  If after that, you'd still prefer a more thrifty wife, you really might be happier with an Asian.  Filipinas have some Spanish blood in them, so of all the Asians, they have a little more Latina curviness to them than most other Asian women.  Just something to ponder.

[Researcher]

 

 Welcome to the board

[Richard77]

Ok then, to the point. How realistic is it to be intersted in a foreign bride making 50k a year?

I live in Texas, USA.

[bcc_1_2]

How realistic is it to be intersted in a foreign bride making 50k a year?

Oh man. Flights out of a major airport in Texas should be pretty cheap so that's good. Personally I prefer the person that will provide constructive criticism or advice as to those drinking the kool aid. You got some pretty good advice from a few guys.

Just from reading your comments. If you can't pony up 500, 600 or whatever for a ticket plus a hotel room (50 bucks 60 bucks a night or whatever) then you might as well not waste your time.

I've paid for cab fare, meals out, entertainment and some drinks but that's it. Other than that money never entered the equation. Not one of the girls asked me to buy her anything (other than the expectations that I pay her way while we are out... none of that going shopping garbage though).

If you want to make this happen you'll probably have to loosen up a bit and be prepared to spend a little cash. But i don't think it has to cost what some people might suggest. no multi thousand dollar agencies needed. no expensive hotels needed etc.

Kiltboy is definiately correctly culturally. But I can say I did meet one girl that was definiately cost conscious. She had a kid. Understood reality and that money doesn't grow on trees (well technically it does but you get the point).

[Jeff S]

From the Texas border, there are a half a dozen good sized cities in Mexico less than a day's drive by car. Decent hotels can be had for $25-40 and it's hard to spend more than $6 or $8 for a meal. With an account at Amigos.com you could get all of the dates you'd ever want. If you're looking for educated women, Monterrey would be your best bet.

[Capstone]

Ok then, to the point. How realistic is it to be intersted in a foreign bride making 50k a year?

Looking for and finding a foreign bride is definitely manageable for someone who makes 50K a year. You just need to know that there will be certain unavoidable costs in which you need to incur during the process.

Yes, you will probably find the process to be more expensive than you had originally thought however once you do find the right girl, it is definitely worth it.

[jm21-2]

$50k/year is upper middle class? Well, Texas is cheap to live in I guess...

On the divorce...I assume you mean waiting for her to help out with attorneys' fees for an uncontested divorce? Good luck with that one. I don't know about TX but there are not many lawyers who do uncontested divorces in most places in the US because it raises a lot of ethical problems. I would highly recommend paying for your own attorney and having her sign off on whatever you can get her to sign off on while she's relatively amiable. And really, there is no such thing as a cheap divorce unless you're dirt poor. There are also people who wait an absurd amount of time before finally getting a divorce, so don't count on a boyfriend making her do it. I recently met a guy who had been separated for 9 years, was engaged to his GF of 5 years, and had a 1.5yo child with his fiance, who still wasn't divorced. And then what if the boyfriend wants to help her by hiring an attorney and trashing "that [snip] ex-husband who won't get a divorce." There might also be some sort of cooling off period (I don't know TX law) where you have to wait X amount of time to finalize the divorce, in the hopes that you will become reconciled (it's 90 days in WA, where I'm from).

Also, if you are worried about the cost of flying from TX to Latin America...c'mon...that's pretty damn cheap...you know how much a plane ticket to China costs? And would you really marry a girl after a one week trip, or would you want to meet her several times?

[Jeff S]

You know you could get a Mexican divorce, especially if she'll sign. It's a lot faster and cheaper than a US one, especially if she agrees, or even if she doesn't: http://divorcefast.com/Mexico_divorce_info.htm

[jm21-2]

You know you could get a Mexican divorce, especially if she'll sign. It's a lot faster and cheaper than a US one, especially if she agrees, or even if she doesn't: http://divorcefast.com/Mexico_divorce_info.htm

$895? You can get an uncontested divorce in WA for less than that, having an attorney work on your case, and it will actually have full faith and credit, deal with custody and property division issues, etc.,  instead of being next to worthless...just need to find an attorney who does them. If you offer them a low flat fee for an uncontested divorce and then it becomes contested, you have to withdraw and can't represent either of them in the contested divorce, potentially losing some good income.

[Capstone]

I don't know about TX but there are not many lawyers who do uncontested divorces in most places in the US because it raises a lot of ethical problems.

Not sure where you got your information about this but it is completely false. Take it from someone who has actually gone through an uncontested divorce - you have tons of lawyers chomping at the bit for these cases because they collect a flat fee for doing practically no work at all. I consulted with about 10-12 different lawyers during my uncontested divorce and each one that I talked to was more than willing to take it on.

[jm21-2]

Not sure where you got your information about this but it is completely false. Take it from someone who has actually gone through an uncontested divorce - you have tons of lawyers chomping at the bit for these cases because they collect a flat fee for doing practically no work at all. I consulted with about 10-12 different lawyers during my uncontested divorce and each one that I talked to was more than willing to take it on.

Representing both spouses is either illegal or a very touchy subject in a lot of states...I'm a lawyer here in WA and even helping a couple fill out the divorce forms is borderline unethical and paralegal companies can offer a similar service for almost nothing. Most lawyers in my area will just represent one spouse and try to get the other to sign off. EDIT: and 10-12 consultations with good lawyers would run you almost 2 grand here.