Papi's trip report August 08

[el_ruso]

BB, you have brought up a lot of very true points.  Women are not angels...  VERY true 

An American, as long as he is not an obvious loser, will be by default desirable and interesting to a girl in SA that he would not ordinarily even be able to meet in the US either because where he lives there are few latinas, or because he is outside of the social milieu where he could interact with them. 

But this default advantage will only make her give you a chance to show her she is not mistaken.  If you have the game to retain a desirable woman, you will.  If not, she will ultimately dump you and you will get played and used ruthlessly.  Love and loyalty can't be bought with gifts, money and greencard.

[the_ace33]

I have had pretty good luck with the sencerity of my ladies of the years.  It seems like for me they either like me in a big way or they do not want me at all.  My biggest and longest relationship of 4 years was with a very special latina that I met here in the states.  She could have had way better than me but she was in love with me.  Being in love goes a long way especially with women.   I have a hard time believing that a latina who falls in love with someone and moves to the US to be with him is gonna go ooh a nicer car Im outa here!  As long as the man provides her with the love and reasonable security she needs he should be ok.  If she does for some reason bail then he can always go back to SA and find another chica.  If not in SA then maybe the states or wherever.  The point is she is replaceable if it comes to that.  Upon returning to the states it might not be a bad idea to work out and stay active.  Do active things together.  It will bond you and possibly keep you both fit and attractive for each other. 

By the way Papi I am curious bout this girl you speak of.  What is the story with her and perhaps you can post a pic.

[el_ruso]

You bring up a good point about being active and doing things together.  Basically, a woman looks for a man that makes her feel good, and having fun experience together certainly does a lot to fulfill that need.

There are a lot of variables to a relationship aside from who has a nicer car.  My point was that if a guy goes to Colombia and wants to have and sustain a relationship based on the fact that he has a nicer car than the local competition will not sustain a relationship.  Women do primarily seek security out of a relationship, (simply because they can get other needs met outside of a relationship) buy just as guys have different standards, tastes and needs so do women.  I have a friend for instance who would not even consider a woman who does not have a degree and a professional job (he calls them "hood rats"), and for me that's not at all a major concern.  I am sure you made the girl feel happy and special by being with you, and that's what made her stick with you.

Women are certainly replaceable.  The problem is that bringing one here is an arduously time-consuming and expensive process, aside from the emotional investment, and one does need to minimize his risks.

[P Daddy]

I can't long held opinions on users here, because I am rather new. But I am not new to the central topic of this board. And when an area interests me ... I dive in deeper than most.

I spent a great deal of time in the DR over the last 18 months. During that same time, I dated and became familiar with Russian, Ukrainian, and Romanian women and immigrants in the US (first generations stick together). Last month was my first trip to Colombia.  I will go back in two weeks for a month.  I plan on spending 9 - 12 weeks in Colombia between now and Christmas.

The "Out of Your League" question was raised in the background of this thread.  The "Out of Your League"  and "Age Gaps" questions are always the biggest for newbies, and for good reasons - the rules are different from the American scene.

I found that women in Colombia (and certainly the DR) are more League and Age Gap forgiving than Eastern European woman for sure.  On my first trip to Colombia, I did not feel any limits.  I do feel limitations in other areas that I mentioned above.  This goes to say that Colombianas may look more on the inside than the outside.  I will verify this next month and continue to post.

Interesting post, and interesting avatar...why did you change your picture??  You look a little more like 32 years old in the new one, as opposed to the old one where it was brought to your attention by some posters that you looked every bit 44...hehe, or was this new one taken when you were 32??     the hair style and clothes do look a little early 90's.

just bustin' your balls

[papi]

By the way Papi I am curious bout this girl you speak of.  What is the story with her and perhaps you can post a pic.

This got me in trouble before...another chica, another forum. I know it is hard to believe but some gringos are actually jealous when a fellow gringo manages to date a hottie way out of his league

[fathertime]

You bring up a good point about being active and doing things together.  Basically, a woman looks for a man that makes her feel good, and having fun experience together certainly does a lot to fulfill that need.

There are a lot of variables to a relationship aside from who has a nicer car.  My point was that if a guy goes to Colombia and wants to have and sustain a relationship based on the fact that he has a nicer car than the local competition will not sustain a relationship.  Women do primarily seek security out of a relationship, (simply because they can get other needs met outside of a relationship) buy just as guys have different standards, tastes and needs so do women.  I have a friend for instance who would not even consider a woman who does not have a degree and a professional job (he calls them "hood rats"), and for me that's not at all a major concern.  I am sure you made the girl feel happy and special by being with you, and that's what made her stick with you.

Women are certainly replaceable.  The problem is that bringing one here is an arduously time-consuming and expensive process, aside from the emotional investment, and one does need to minimize his risks.

I'm wondering if I am coming down with something, because russo's posts, although longwinded, are actually making sense!  

Fathertime!

[the_ace33]

Well the minimizing risks part makes sense...
We all have different experiences and points of view which is a good thing.  My experience has been that she blows me off if Im sold on the first date!!!  If she has to work to get me ... or if I am not interested...she thinks I am outstanding!  And that fact does not change when she finds out my financial or social status.  I just need more practice in not showing interest too early in the game.   That is some simple advice we can all use.  So the lesson for today is minimize your risks and do not show interest too early.  Comprehende

[papi]

That is some simple advice we can all use.  So the lesson for today is minimize your risks and do not show interest too early.

This is great advice and comes with leverage, having a lot of chicas in the barn. The challenge is that some trips are on a short window. Still, I applaud your contribution.

[Zon]

You raise very very good points about what is likely to happen to a couple who is NOT REALLY IN LOVE when arriving back to the US.
For me, I am almost certain I will live half the year in one location (Carri bean most likely), half the year back in the US - maybe less.  I could not imagine an argument I would enjoy less than "I am good looking enough to date girls in their 20s" with a bunch of gringos:) So, a new avatar - photo taken last week with 4 hot chicitas cropped out - seemed like a good move to keep things real. I write this for newbies.  For guys that have not gone anywhere but are interested:

Carribbean; Central and South American trumps other destinations today because of currency exchange and travel costs.  You should  - if you can - become a student of the culture you will visit.  You SHOULD resist the inclination to go wife shopping and try to power date for 5 days to widdle down the list of who is really MS.  RIGHT. (Think about it!  One Week Wonders are far more risky than sex without a condom)

These locations offer tons of beautiful women that are open to meeting you.  I use the word "open".  That ranges from slightly curious to economically disparate.  Got to be careful. 

Being Surgical - and Superficial - with league and age gaps:

1, A guy should know himself and his motivations before going shopping.  He should know exactly what league he is in and test social acceptable age gaps in his home before going anywhere else.

2, A guy should not be pussy struck. Rule number 1 ought to be don't worship the pussy when going to a distant shore - especially if you are looking for a wife in 14 days.  It certainly and consistently puts to sleep good judgment.

3, A guy should get on top of his game BEFORE going to a new destination.  Whatever you got that a woman can find attractive, better dust it off, stretch it, polish it ... get ready to use it.  Don't hit the ground cold.  Get warmed up.

4, Drop the American thing before you get on a plane!  (When pressed I say I am Canadian ... hardly no one dislikes Canada) Take a good hard look of how you are dressed, how much jewelry you are wearing.  Shut up, and observe who others behave socially. Do not be loud and demanding.  Try not even to talk in public.  Use your eyes hard.  Be conscious of your posture and how you walk. How do you compare with the locals?  Change if you can.  Blend in.  Stick out as least as possible.

3, Only after a man is thus prepared, should he seriously venture.  This corrects 80% of the problems that we usually see on these types of boards.

4, THERE ARE TRADE UPS FACTORS.  All AM can do better in any of the countries discussed on this board than in the US.  That is just the way it is. And I mean - beauty; youth; respect; and effort. 

The exact difference varies form one place to another.  The more you stretch your "trade up factor" the more risky the adjustment over time. 

How significant is this experience.

For me?  I do not, I can not take American women seriously.  NADA.  I already know where that leads.  I already know the possibles offered by expanding my dating pool.  THANK GOD!  It is like a secret that I am astonished more AM are not let into?!?!?!?  WTF  Everyone hears rumors, right?  It is more or less all true.  I used to date girls in the US, early 30s - sometimes in late 20s. (I have not dated an American girl in 10 months).  I am in a fun industry fashion, design (I even do some consultation in the adult industry).  I am around tons of sexy attractive women every week.  so what!

I know many examples of successful, well balanced men in their 50s marrying women in their late 20 and early 30s (waaay out of their American league)  and things have worked out well after 3 - 5 years.  I also am aware of a few examples that are scary!  10 years and 1 day after marriage - divorce.  But if a guy is prepared and honest with himself ... I think he has got to be aware of that BEFORE it happens.

In most cases, stretching your "trade-up factor" is a function of how youthful you live and how rich you are.  And, of course your physical appearance.  If you are with a women that, when you look at in a mirror or in a photo, and it is too good for your side ... it probably is.  BUT, a guy just needs to be NOT UGLY.  There are many examples o "not ugly" guys with beautiful wives. Get in shape.  Loose weight.  Do a high adventure sport (with consequences).  Get someone close to you who knows fashion current style - especially from a world perspective, not an American perspective.

Learn a little Spanish.  And get used to the currency exchange - it is important to keep your money low and well managed (don't treat it like monopoly money!) It is important to be able to say your greetings and the basic statements associated with commercial transactions very well (and there is no reason everyone can not at least do that before getting on a plane.

[no comment]

Rivardco,
I agree with a few things & disagree too.  I agree... be at the top of your game, get in shape, learn the language & culture.  Can't agree with number 4.  If a woman has a problem with my nationality, F her.  I just move on and wouldn't bother fibbing about being Canadian or whatever.  The women in most of the countries discussed here are not negatively predisposed to norteamericanos anyway.  I wouldn't try to blend in, as I couldn't pass for a Latino if I tried.  Be the best you can be, and be yourself.

[soltero]

Rivardco,
I agree with a few things & disagree too.  I agree... be at the top of your game, get in shape, learn the language & culture.  Can't agree with number 4.  If a woman has a problem with my nationality, F her.  I just move on and wouldn't bother fibbing about being Canadian or whatever.  The women in most of the countries discussed here are not negatively predisposed to norteamericanos anyway.  I wouldn't try to blend in, as I couldn't pass for a Latino if I tried.  Be the best you can be, and be yourself.

You have to understand that Rivardco is very skittish. He doesn't tell people he is Canadian because they have a problem with him being an American. He is overly scared that he will get his throat cut or held hostage for some reason. Some people just have smaller stones than others and that's just how it is. At least he's made the trip and after a few more may begin to relax. As long as one does not make an arse of himself and blends in well, he shouldn't have to be constantly quivering and looking over his shoulder, nor should he have to lie about where he's from thinking the natives are going to try and eat him because Americans have some special natural seasoning or something.

[Zon]

Skittish is not a word those who know me would use to describe me.  You are wrong here, Soltero.  You are much more correct when exercising your endless presumption on my interests in young women, adventure and fun. I am only distantly interested in finding a wife today ... yet, open to meeting such a person - if lightning strikes - and re-adjusting my lifestyle to something more traditional.  For now, however, I've got livin to do.

Colombia can be safe to virtually every foreigner providing they stay in high security zones.  When you venture out to the night spots that stay open all night long ... when you venture into the countryside ...  it is only wise to be very aware.

As an informational service it is important that we all give our best input for the group.  I do not think you can claim that Cali, Colombia is 100& tourista safe.  I do think if you took 100 guys off a cruise ship - the way the look and the way they act - and put them on avenue sexta  ... and then listened real hard ... I think you could hear a diner bell.

================

And when I mentioned saying I am from Canada  ... do not read so much into.  The US is controversial in the world right now. (Are you really surprised?!?!)  Avoid controversy (and boring conversations).  Be an observer until you understand your environment.

I did not intend for anyone to misrepresent themselves.  Say only the truth to a significant contact or relationship.

[fathertime]

You have to understand that Rivardco is very skittish. He doesn't tell people he is Canadian because they have a problem with him being an American. He is overly scared that he will get his throat cut or held hostage for some reason. Some people just have smaller stones than others and that's just how it is. At least he's made the trip and after a few more may begin to relax. As long as one does not make an arse of himself and blends in well, he shouldn't have to be constantly quivering and looking over his shoulder, nor should he have to lie about where he's from thinking the natives are going to try and eat him because Americans have some special natural seasoning or something.

I’d like to add to the withering characterization a bit. 

The images created in my mind were rivarco being ‘tastefully’ loud and sassy toward the locals, while telling the local babes that he is a ‘very young’ Canadian invester, living on a pension, but not interested in marriage.  Once the locals finally rose out of their seats after having had enough of the absurd antics, he quickly scuttled behind one of his oversized, lurking, henchmen and squealed back NEENER! NEENER! NEENER!     Now if his security detail ever turns on him, he’s toast! The locals will bbq him up for supper! 

 

I did not intend for anyone to misrepresent themselves.  Say only the truth to a significant contact or relationship.

That is absolutely ridiculous, although it does explain why I have had such a  hard time believing much that you have written or that that avatar is not a pic of you 15 years ago!...after all we are not 'signifcant contacts' so why be truthful?! 



Fathertime!

[soltero]

Skittish is not a word those who know me would use to describe me.  You are wrong here, Soltero.  You are much more correct when exercising your endless presumption on my interests in young women, adventure and fun. I am only distantly interested in finding a wife today ... yet, open to meeting such a person - if lightning strikes - and re-adjusting my lifestyle to something more traditional.  For now, however, I've got livin to do.

After reading you multitude of posts on "endless" self refelction, "skittish" works for me. As far as my "endless" presumption on your interests, that pretty much ended with the post on same. I find you quite the pretentious dandy who would fascinate any psychotherapist, but no hard feelings. You actually seem to learn as you go, and I hope that you continue to explore as your posts are very interesting once your arrogant personality has been gotten past.

Colombia can be safe to virtually every foreigner providing they stay in high security zones.  When you venture out to the night spots that stay open all night long ... when you venture into the countryside ...  it is only wise to be very aware.

As an informational service it is important that we all give our best input for the group.  I do not think you can claim that Cali, Colombia is 100& tourista safe.  I do think if you took 100 guys off a cruise ship - the way the look and the way they act - and put them on avenue sexta  ... and then listened real hard ... I think you could hear a diner bell.

If a person is so blissfully unaware of how to act when out, that should pertain as much to anywhere as Colombia, then natural selection does come into play. If you feel "safe" anywhere, then all you are showing is your own ignorance. Nutjobs live all over the place, and the police never show up until after whatever deed is done. Walking around with a bodyguard serves as much purpose in New York as it does in Cali if you happen to need one. As far as your tourist analogy, whenever Cali gets to where a bunch of guys in Hawaiian shirts and shorts can feel comfortable walking around, it will no longer be worth visiting.

And when I mentioned saying I am from Canada  ... do not read so much into.  The US is controversial in the world right now. (Are you really surprised?!?!)  Avoid controversy (and boring conversations).  Be an observer until you understand your environment.

I did not intend for anyone to misrepresent themselves.  Say only the truth to a significant contact or relationship.

I could not care less if the US was the most universally hated country on the planet. It would make me feel like a complete pansy to claim Canada and I am proudly red, white, and blue blooded. No one ever thinks I am American anyway, so I usually have to volunteer the information. This i just so much more "Skittishness" raising it's ugly head. That's ok though, keep heading south, and maybe one day, you can venture into the mall by your lonesome!

[Zon]

ja ja HA HA I enjoyed that. SERIOUSLY, Fathertime, an artist of mental images ... I simply call your attention to your own avatar. 

But ... that's cool man.  I don't want to be a troll.  I certainly don't want any of you OLD GUYS struggling to complete an accurate mental picture:) DAMN!  That's spooky.  If my cardboard, vanilla  posts on this board makes you wonder about the truthfulness of the last 8 months of my life ... BROTHER you would NEVER believe reality - EVER.

And Soltero ... I am starting to like you too.  Please continue to try to get over my perceived arrogant personality.  I will work on getting over what I perceive as your "Mr. T" personality. 

Seriously, I will try to make things a little more factual and gray.

[sean126]

Since this is hopelessly off topic now.....

I must agree with FT about the avatar.  Looking at the one you just removed and comparing it to the other one you had....it does appear/seem/makes one wonder, if that wasn't a picture of you either; several years younger or photo-shopped.   Not taking a jab at you, just an observation.

We need to see some recent and then old pic's side by side to make a more accurate judgment. 

Personally....I think it's over use of preparation-H around the eye area to smooth away those wrinkles and crow's feet.

[soltero]

ja ja HA HA I enjoyed that. SERIOUSLY, Fathertime, an artist of mental images ... I simply call your attention to your own avatar. 

But ... that's cool man.  I don't want to be a troll.  I certainly don't want any of you OLD GUYS struggling to complete an accurate mental picture:) DAMN!  That's spooky.  If my cardboard, vanilla  posts on this board makes you wonder about the truthfulness of the last 8 months of my life ... BROTHER you would NEVER believe reality - EVER.

And Soltero ... I am starting to like you too.  Please continue to try to get over my perceived arrogant personality.  I will work on getting over what I perceive as your "Mr. T" personality. 

Seriously, I will try to make things a little more factual and gray.

Speaking of "Seriously", Rivardco, if you keep moving your avatar pic far enough back, you may eventually look like you are still in your thirties! 

[P Daddy]

Speaking of "Seriously", Rivardco, if you keep moving your avatar pic far enough back, you may eventually look like you are still in your thirties! 

Hey, from 50 yards, I look like I'm in my 20's...

A little more convincing and I'll probably believe that he banged all of those girls in his new avatar

Now, all of you "old guys" get to sleep, it's 9:49 on a Saturday night for
Christ's sake....meanwhile me and Rivcardo will be up all night having internet sex with our 20 year old colombian girlfriends...

[Zon]

I guess I asked for all this!  However, I would rather be honest wide open- and ask for everyone else to be too - that to worry about perceptions (I don't care.  I mean that in only the best way.  I really don't)

Forget me ...  THERE IS A POINT here that is relevant and getting drowned out.

Many people come to these boards trying to figure out what to expect.  For these guys they should know that American men that are physically OK (how's that) - in their late 30s to even early 50s, can successfully find and marry a woman in any of the counties we have mentioned - that is 22 and drop dead gorgeous - EASIER that in the US (you don't need to be a CEO of a fortune 500 company).

I have personally reported, based on current experience, that, for me, Colombian women seemed more generous in this evaluation than women I have met in other areas ... particularly Eastern European.

PS -  listen, before you guys start painting me in a corner.  I am well aware that there are more important considerations.

PSS - I did not bang all those girls in the photo.  THAT WOULD BE UNBELIEVABLE.  Got my share though - fair and square

[soltero]

Hey, from 50 yards, I look like I'm in my 20's...

A little more convincing and I'll probably believe that he banged all of those girls in his new avatar

Now, all of you "old guys" get to sleep, it's 9:49 on a Saturday night for
Christ's sake....meanwhile me and Rivcardo will be up all night having internet sex with our 20 year old colombian girlfriends...

I remember giving you hell back in the day for being arrogant as hell, but after getting to know you, you are one of those rare individuals who can actually back up your bullshyt! LOL!

Rivardco is more of a poor man's PDaddy, but then again, I might be wrong about the guy.

Now, as far as us "old guys"...I believe between me, FT and Sean Diddy, with me being the oldest of the three, Rivardco has us all beat by at least a few years...Maybe I need to start moving back in my avatar until I get tiny enough to be any age I want to be also! 


That's it...I'm done...Rivardco, I have had a good time yanking your chain and you took it like a champ! It's all in good fun. 

[fathertime]

I feel the same way soletro does, I have had fun ragging on you a bit, to make up for the slight arrogance of your posts, but you have taken it well. 

I hope you can keep your posts real, while giving us those details about the security detail & 'tastefully loud' behavior!  If nothing else you appear to be quite a character!  BTW: You are the old man of this little group, regardless of how young you think you look!



Fathertime!

[Zon]

LOL  posts will continue ... 

Glad to see we are all getting along so well. I am going to be in Colombia alot over the next couple of months, and I could use some networking.

 It takes a while for you guys to open up on this board.

Just keeping it real ... I felt  younger than 32 in some of these!   
(By the way, I did feel and look older until I bit Courtney Cummz on the ass last October - that seemed to change things for me.)

[papi]

For these guys they should know that American men that are physically OK (how's that) - in their late 30s to even early 50s, can successfully find and marry a woman in any of the counties we have mentioned - that is 22 and drop dead gorgeous - EASIER that in the US (you don't need to be a CEO of a fortune 500 company).

i myself have never been married. However, I have witnessed countless aged/looks gap relationships/marriages. Yet many did not stick...

I do not believe that any woman is out of my league (in Colombia) despite the fact that Pdaddy apparently suggests that I look like an old fart from a dated fatty pic. The danger lies in bringing them to the USA

[papi]

Getting back on topic...this last trip could actually end up being one of my most successful:

1. I got what appears to be a great job offered while in the miami airport (no, not cleaning the toilets)

2. One of my costenas is "lista" for a relationship with me

They all eventually come back...well, at least many...i call it the boomerang effect.

[blockbuster]

 Riv,

 Glad you have so much game. It will be a cinch for you to date HOT young daughters of the uber upper class and diplomats in foreign countries.. With so much going on for you,why did you have problems with Eastern European women?  They should have been all over you. I mean how often does an American I mean CANADIAN guy who looks no older than his early 30's with game and financial success show up. You probably have to fight them off!;D

   Incidently, this guy is 49 years old. You are right taking care of yourself will always bring in the ladies. No matter how old you are. PDAddy you have a twin. Or at least another guy who'se aging just a well. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICl58YAtZ3k