Found On (of all places!) Craigslist - LONG

[throwawaydad]

An Open Letter to the United States Government (USA)



A message from the front lines.

Today marks the 1776th resume I have sent out in over two years of job hunting, a number you're clearly not at all familiar with given your recent attacks on the American people. In the time it takes your self-automated email robot to reply to this with a completely irrelevant response that doesn't touch on one thing I've covered here, another 50,000 American citizens will exhaust their last line of defense against your irresponsible actions. A few thousand more will lose their homes, their children, their lives. This is no longer a matter of a half-witted government hell-bent on making short-sighted decisions that come back to haunt us ten years from now, this time you have upped the ante and are screwing up royally in real time. You are causing physical, tangible harm to the people you represent and blatantly lying to them in the process. You are no longer fit to govern this once great nation; you have reduced this innovative, fiscally healthy democratic world leader to an apathetic, financially destroyed oligarchy hated by everyone who doesn't receive billions of our money. Bombs continue to be hurled at nations that will leave us alone if you just stop hurling bombs at them. Thousands continue to stream across our borders to take advantage of opportunities that we can no longer afford. Billions of dollars are miraculously found to help foreign nations recover from natural disasters, yet you can't seem to find the cash to extend an aid package that is quite literally matter of life and death to your citizens.

Yesterday was your last possible chance to save what will be approximately 5.6 million votes in November. This number represents the total number of 99'ers at that point. Add to this another 10 million people who, while not yet benefit exhaustees, are clearly aware of your continued assault on the unemployed. Now take all the family members of these people and their friends and the countless other employed, unaffected voters who have any sort of conscience and I'd be willing to bet you're looking at a cool twenty to thirty million voters out there who would be more likely to write in Pol Pot than to vote for you again. There is no good and bad list here, we have no heroes in the House or the Senate. We have words, promises, lies and fairy tales. Telling us something is in the works holds no more water than me telling you I run a unicorn farm in the tree-city of Alpha-One. It's obvious you can't deliver. You say "every day matters to these folks" but act like you just can't wait to get on your sailboat. The one we paid for. And you're docking in Bermuda to avoid taxes. I've seen counterfeit watch sellers in Oakland with higher moral standards than you.

And to accuse those who have lost their jobs and have exhausted benefits as being lazy, unmotivated or otherwise unwilling to work is absolutely ridiculous. Do I think that across the board, the entire population of unemployed workers is diligently seeking gainful employment on a regular basis? No. But I don't think you're all idiots either. There will always be some percentage of people who take advantage of social services and poison it with their actions. A twenty eight year old couch surfer collecting more than he needs while he bounces around the country screwing off on the taxpayers dime will get about ten fold coverage than a group of a thousand who have three cans of soup and six batteries left. To say, "all unemployed are…" is generalizing. And we all know what William Blake said about that. Again, these arguments hold no water. Repeating them as opposition to further extend benefits only shows you're incapable of basic subtraction. 15 million unemployed. Minimum. 3 million jobs. Maximum.

As of today, I will deplete what's left of my 401K. Two and a half years ago, I was 32 and had close to one hundred thousand dollars in my retirement. Utilizing the financial management skills of a crack addicted homeless man, the banking institutions you were so quick to bail out managed to reduce my assets to about half of that. Now for me to get at this money, that I earned, I'm forced to pay fees and taxes that would make a loan shark envious, netting me about thirty thousand when all is said and done. Spread that over two and a half years. Add this to the unemployment check I received and I barely made my rent and bills. Now tax me on every thing imaginable. Oh and since I cashed out my 401K at 30 thousand and received 14 thousand in benefits, tax me at a 44K rate. When I'm unemployed. Tax bill deferment? Nope. You're not interested. Payment plan? How does half your rent sound. For the life of me I can't understand why you're so fixated on doing everything imaginable stand in the way of someone trying to survive in a post-apocalyptic job market that you are directly responsible for.

I don't even know what to say about this president. I'll admit, he got my vote but this was due in large part to the extensive marketing campaign. I love a good poster. And if Gillette comes out with a seventeen-blade razor I will buy it. It was the speeches, the completely believable promises of green fields and happy children frolicking in a land of economic prosperity and healthy international relations. A land where the president would listen to the citizen, open up the White House and bring government back to the people. This was of course all a load of crap. Instead what we got was the same thing, just a different flavor and sprinkled with a thirty million dollar website updated about as often as my cat gets a bath. I don't have a cat. I used to think the Quizno's sandwiches commercials took the top prize for marketing bait and switch, but the Democratic party really gets the gold with this administration. At least the Republicans have the decency to be upfront about how disgusting they are. This is a group of people who would legalize non-Christian baby hunting if given half the chance but I would have expected more from the other side. I'm truly disappointed in you; this is like finding out the Rebel Alliance is actually owned by Time/Warner. Needless to say Barry, you lost my vote. Not that it matters. But as George Bush once said, Fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again.

You failed your citizens. An employee who is not able to complete the task assigned to them should be fired. One who ignores the requests of his bosses should be thrown out and those who steal should be thrown in jail. Your actions as a government have been directly responsible for the deaths of citizens of this nation. You know this is happening; it has been acknowledged, yet you continue to do nothing. If Inner Mongolia was hit with a freak gremlin invasion, you'd pony up all that was required to quell the onslaught, but when some destitute father of three is sitting in a bathroom with a shotgun down his throat because he can't feed his children, you'd rather run from your duties and spend a month cheating on your wives in the Hamptons. Not only should you be disgusted, that should be you. You should be the one sobbing over an ever-increasing mountain of unpayable bills and the mounting stress of impending homelessness. Explain to your children why they don't get lunch. Beg your landlord for another month. Cut back on medications that keep you alive. One day of this exhausting chaos coupled with the useless search for jobs that don't exist and you'd either change your position on it's extreme urgency or you would be officially deemed an emotionless autonomous congressbot not fit to represent actual human beings.

This will be read by nobody. I understand this. It will be searched for keywords by some drone computer in some soulless basement we're paying 20 million a year to operate a basic script looking for words like shotgun, invasion, bush, cheating, taxes, etc…But it will be saved ~ and if the government is good at one thing, it's spending an insane amount of money storing useless data. So perhaps twenty years from now, some citizen of New America will read this. This is to that person:

We tried. They were master idiots.

So goodbye federal government. Socially, you do not serve the needs of the people. Militarily, you cause the problems you protect us from. Economically, I think I'd rather entrust the survival of this country on the six year old down the street who sells dirt clods. According to my wildly inaccurate calculations, you will have pissed off every man, woman and child in the United States by 2013. By 2019, unborn fetuses will hate you. And by 2026, Canada will actually begin a multi-trillion dollar project to geologically separate itself from the United States, simply to distance themselves from the stench of the garbage coming out of Washington.

I do hope you enjoy your vacations though. Never have I wished for anything more than to be able to telepathically control bull sharks.

[Ray]

I don't even know what to say about this president. I'll admit, he got my vote…

Enough said…

Hey, sucker!

Like a dumbass, you voted for a phony commie and what did you get? Why, a phony commie of course! DUH!

So why don’t you STFU and quit your pathetic whining?

SHEESH!

[bcc_1_2]

This is silly, it doesn't matter if Pepsi (Obama) or Coke (McCain) got elected President... the economy would still be in the toliet and the job market would still suck. 

Where is the personal responsiblity? I understand you may have child support, alimony, a house payment on a variable interest rate, but there has got to be some kind of personal responsiblity for how quickly that person ran through all that retirement.

I'd be willing listen more openly to someone advocating for Bob Barr or something like that, but for people ready to pile on the democrats and run back to the republicans I have no sympathy for you. Sometimes I can't even tell them apart... they argue a lot... but that's about it. They may spend your money differently... but both parties have proven they will spend it.

[Researcher]

     The mess we're in didn't happen overnight it has been coming on for a while.It wasn't noticeable until the bubble that covered it up burst.No one will do anything about it until they are personally affected.Until then people aren't going to pry the TV remote out of their Dorito stained hands long enough to get off the couch and do something.That's the sad reality of it.

     I didn't vote for Obama because he didn't have a long enough political past to be able to judge what kind of politician he was.I did wonder why people voted for him.Now I know.
   Researcher

[Ray]

...for people ready to pile on the democrats and run back to the republicans I have no sympathy for you.

So who cares?

And I have no sympathy for all you Obozo supporters who continue to whine about the mess this dumb leftist whack job has gotten us into by ramming his commie agenda down our throats.

All you Dems out there stand by for November...  LOL!

[Dave H]

The New GM (Government Motors)
Proudly Introduces
The 2011 Obummer
This car runs on hot air, bull-sh-it and broken promises.
It has three wheels that speed the vehicle through tight left turns.
It comes complete with two Tele Prompters programmed to help the occupants talk their way out of any violations.
The transparent canopy reveals the plastic smiles still on the faces of all the happy owners.
Comes in S, M, L, XL and 2XL
It won’t get you to work, but hey, there aren’t any jobs anyway!

[Dave H]

2010 Castro Motors SUV from Cuba

[Ray]

ROTGDFFLMGDAOCUMFLAPASIMGDP!