Hello and a Request for Where to Start

[BamaSuave]

Hi Everyone,

I am 48 and located in Alabama in the United States. I am a professional working on a doctoral part-time, and my looks are average, though most friends say I'm attractive. I know I could use losing about 30 pounds that have crept up on me, which I am in the process of doing. My reason for joining is that I am completely lost about where to begin in a search for a Latin wife. I have never been married, but was engaged once and in the relationship for 3.5 years with an American woman. I recently met a woman in the Dominican Republic, but the relationship ended almost as fast as it began, but this really made me realize that I am more attracted to Latin women than American women. Nothing to do with the things typically cited, but I just find them more attractive, both personality-wise and physically. Plus, I would like to have at least one child, and the only women I typically find have an interest are within 3-5 years of my age, and have already done the child thing and are not interested in doing it again.

I had considered TLC Worldwide, because a friend found a wife back in 2002. But, from what little I can find on the Internet, the owner left in 2008 and that is the last date of any of their magazines, though it appears they still have some tours. I had considered a personal ad through them, where the women contact you, but was uncertain due to not being able to find much up-to-date info on them or anyone who has used the ads. Does anyone have experience with these, or am I going about the search process completely wrong? I want to take at least a year or two to get to know anyone I meet, and time is not on my side regarding having children (I would be open to adoption), so any advice is greatly appreciated. I want to do this right!

Thanks,
Jeff
 

[michaelb]

Well hi yourself. How's your Spanish? You mentioned being open to adoption, how open are you to a woman who already has a child (or two)? Both of those would be strong points in your favor. Look in the left margin and there you will find links to a bunch of agencies....not that I can vouch for any of them. Well, 10 or 11 years ago I did buy some addresses from South of the Border....they were real addresses and about half of them answered me, so I guess you can take that as a 'vouch for', albeit severely out of date. I met my wife via the 'busca amigos' section of caliescali.com, but I don't think they offer that service anymore.

[Jeff S]

Hi Bama and welcome. We're glad you're here. I suggest you spend a few hours going through the archives - there's a world of information there - then ask away.

[BamaSuave]

HI Michael, thanks for the reply. My Spanish is severly lacking, but I'm taking the time to learn it on my own and know enough right now to be able to piece an awkward phrase once in a while. The woman I recently met that didn't work out had three children, so I would be open to that, although my preference would be none, but that is likely not practical even with an American woman. I'll check out the agencies. Thanks again for your advice.

[Bob_S]

...this really made me realize that I am more attracted to Latin women than American women.

Yeah, once you're bitten, there ain't no goin' back. 

My Spanish is severly lacking, but I'm taking the time to learn it on my own and know enough right now to be able to piece an awkward phrase once in a while.

That's going to be especially important once you decide to focus on Latin America.  It's been discussed in the archives (a must read!): Latinas expect you to know Spanish, whereas FSU and Asian women appreciate if you learn at least a few passing phrases of their language but don't really expect you to master it.  You're doing the right thing.

my preference would be none [pre-existing children]

That is very do-able when seeking a foreign bride.  Though you may need to go much further down in age than you might have expected.  Would you consider a gal in her mid to late 20's? The other option is a woman closer to your age who has children already grown and independent but still is herself young enough to have more and open to the idea.

Welcome to the board! Don't mind if it gets a little warm around here. Flame fights are common, but not too personal.

[InnocentVixen]

Welcome and good luck!

I think what you are looking for is very reasonable and the time frames you have in mind are very good too, what Bob said is very true, you might have to be a bit more flexible and give younger women a chance, the chances of them wanting to have a baby go higher even if they already have one of their own. If you are good looking and in decent shape most of the women you will attract will be younger ones anyways.

Since you already had a relationship with a lady from Dominican Republic you could start reading about there and other places of latin america, to get an idea of the difference in looks and personality from place to place, you will find many members who will give you valuable information, specially about places like Colombia or Peru, so search older posts and don't be afraid to ask

[bcc_1_2]

Where I'd consider going and/or have gone
Mexico
Honduras (La Ceiba)
Costa Rica (San Pedro, Escazu,... not downtown)
Panama
Colombia (plenty of eye candy in Cali)
Chile
Brazil (never been but plenty of good reviews... remember though... portuguese)
Peru

Definite Places I wouldn't suggest going
Venezuela (they freakin hate us)
Nicaragua (gotta be near fluent I'd think, plus it is leftist)
Dominican Republic (especially for a guy looking for younger... not a good idea)
Guatemala (Guatemala City seems like San Pedro Sula on crack... I wouldn't visit)
El Salvador (Civil War 80-92) going off reputation doesn't always make sense (like what ignorant people say about Colombia in the USA)... but San Salvador was off my list. You may think of left wing people in the United States as anti gun pussies, but this is not true in Central America.
Haiti- do i need to type anything here?
Argentina, nothing actually wrong with the place. I've heard stories of guys that have spent hundreds (or more) in posh clubs trying to earn the attention of the ladies. Not for me...
Guyana, Suriname, Guyane (French Guyana): No thanks
Bolivia- You hear altitude sickness could be an issue. Never really heard much positive about the place.
Paraguay, no big cities, land locked, nothing i read is positive about the place, no good reasons for me to ever visit


Not of Interest
Ecuador- women aren't known for their beauty, but i've never been so that might be some BS
Uruguay- Montevideo might not be bad, close to Buenos Aires

[Pivery]

 Welcome to the board Bama,

I'm sure with going through the old posts and asking many questions, you will definitely acquire a great deal
of very useful knowledge to help guide you somewhat. But obviously no one here can tell you the best place
to go or where all the best ladies are. Everyone will have their personal experience / opinion as to where you
should go. You ultimately have to make this decision yourself based on where you feel most comfortable going.

Most ladies in the age bracket you have decided on will have had children, or not wanting children, so you may
want to lower your age a bit. That's not to say that you will have zero luck, but your odds of a woman in her
40's wanting a child are on the low side.

Get your Spanish down regardless of where you decide to go, as having a translator around all the time will get
old after a while. If you feel you need to lose a few pounds, that would be in your favor as well.
Also give yourself plenty of time to weed through a lot of the potential women you may encounter until you
feel you have made a real connection with someone. Then get on the plane and go see her.

Good luck!

Pivery

 

[fathertime]

 

Hi Everyone,

I am 48 and located in Alabama in the United States. I am a professional working on a doctoral part-time, and my looks are average, though most friends say I'm attractive. I know I could use losing about 30 pounds that have crept up on me, which I am in the process of doing. My reason for joining is that I am completely lost about where to begin in a search for a Latin wife. I have never been married, but was engaged once and in the relationship for 3.5 years with an American woman. I recently met a woman in the Dominican Republic, but the relationship ended almost as fast as it began, but this really made me realize that I am more attracted to Latin women than American women. Nothing to do with the things typically cited, but I just find them more attractive, both personality-wise and physically. Plus, I would like to have at least one child, and the only women I typically find have an interest are within 3-5 years of my age, and have already done the child thing and are not interested in doing it again.

I had considered TLC Worldwide, because a friend found a wife back in 2002. But, from what little I can find on the Internet, the owner left in 2008 and that is the last date of any of their magazines, though it appears they still have some tours. I had considered a personal ad through them, where the women contact you, but was uncertain due to not being able to find much up-to-date info on them or anyone who has used the ads. Does anyone have experience with these, or am I going about the search process completely wrong? I want to take at least a year or two to get to know anyone I meet, and time is not on my side regarding having children (I would be open to adoption), so any advice is greatly appreciated. I want to do this right!
Thanks,
Jeff

Well Bama,

If money and time is available to you, I'd suggest you book a flight to a city like Barranquilla as soon as possible.  Get out and meet a few women, even with limited Spanish, you could get a feel for what you are getting into.  You can choose whichever city, I just choose Barranquilla because I am most familiar with this city and had a good experience with the agency I used to find my wife  latin-wife.com   

At your age, you might be best going for a gal in her mid 20's and up, although younger gals might throw themselves at you. 

I don't know much about TLC other then what others have said and the reports are mixed. 

I wouldn't sit and ponder about everything too long though, at 48 you should probably get it in gear if you want to have some energy for potential kids and this whole finding a woman process often takes years from start to finish.

Good luck,
Fathertime!

[william3rd]

Two things- never adopt. Keep them step-children. If the marriage fails, like so many of these do, there is no child support obligation.

Second thing- beware of loveme.com/AFA/foreign brides/beautiful brides/etc etc etc. Their porno links are well documented, their combined sex tour/romance tours in Europe were "famous," and there is substantial evidence of their use of prostitutes in Europe on their tours.

 So- when you look for a movie star or professional woman, you may get one or both, but not the type you are expecting. When I was on their Kiev tours, the working girls would go to the romance parties to drum up business or green card potentials and then head over to the River Palace to go to work. Their Thailand tours were a total joke.

In addition, their activities in the Philppines are a felony under Philippines law.

Fair warning- where there is smoke, there is fire. . . .

[Ray]

Hi IV,

Congratulations on your country-mate winning the Miss Universe pageant!

About this Spanish language thing. Do you expect a potential suitor to master Spanish? Would you outright reject a guy who was very weak in the language or a total non-speaker?

Like Bob mentioned, it has been discussed many times before that most Latinas are going to fully expect you to know Spanish, but I was curious about that and would welcome some comments from a Latina’s perspective.

Thanks,

Ray

[braziliangirl]

Hey Bama,

Welcome to the board!

If you are thinking about Brazil, I wouldn't recommend the agency route. I don't have any experience with them. In fact never heard of an agency working here, but I get this feeling that they would not attract the best girls...

You can take a look at BrazilCupid.com or spend some time chatting at UOL chat rooms, or even post an ad at the Brazilian cities on Craigslist. On the big cities it is not hard to find girls that speak good English.

If you need any more information on Brazil or advices from a Brazilian perspective, just let me know. I'll me more than happy to help!

[InnocentVixen]

Hi IV,

Congratulations on your country-mate winning the Miss Universe pageant!

About this Spanish language thing. Do you expect a potential suitor to master Spanish? Would you outright reject a guy who was very weak in the language or a total non-speaker?

Like Bob mentioned, it has been discussed many times before that most Latinas are going to fully expect you to know Spanish, but I was curious about that and would welcome some comments from a Latina’s perspective.

Thanks,

Ray

Thanks Ray, maybe more guys will start considering Mexicanas thanks to lovely miss Jimena

I have never had spanish anywhere in my "list of requirements" but my english is pretty good, it would make me very happy if he made the effort to communicate with my parents though, they don't speak any english at all, but other than that, I am more than willing to translate.

As a latina and now an english teacher, I must say this expectation of the man speaking spanish is nothing more but the reflection of their fear of speaking english, latinos tease a lot, even when something is done right, this is specially hard on someone who is shy to start with.

I have students that have lived in the states, have been going to english courses for years, have dated american men/women, they have lived their whole lives near the border with plenty of contact with the language... and their english is still at basic level at best, because of that fear.

I would say it makes sense for women who do not live where there are agencies and are not in contact with other languages, to not consider someone who does not speak spanish since they will probably think something like "we can't communicate, he is looking for a fling, he is on vacation / he will leave soon"

However if you met her online or even better, you were introduced by a friend she should be understanding of your situation just like you should be of hers if her english is not good (or she says it's not, they usually know more than what they are willing to admit)

[Ray]

Thanks IV for that very enlightening response.

I hadn't really given much consideration to the fear factor in evaluating a person's ability/willingness to learn English, but that does make sense now.

Thanks again...

Ray

 

[Jeff S]

Yeah, the problem with Southern California is that you can get by just fine never speaking any English at all. You can shop, deal with the government, get a driver's license, get a job, get technical support for your cell phone, watch TV, listen to the radio, or anything else all in Spanish. Even the Vietnamese immigrants who sell at the indoor swapmeet in Santa Ana speak Spanish. I had US citizens who'd been in the US for over 20 years working for me who couldn't or wouldn't even say "hello" in English.There must be some fear factor there, but I don't get it. The gregarious among my employees, all went out of their way to practice their English on me, and I was always happy to take the time to help them out, but the bulk of them preferred to stay in the shadows.  I can't imagine moving to any country and not learning the local language.

[utopiacowboy]

I can't imagine moving to any country and not learning the local language.

For a large part of the US, Spanish IS the local language.

[Jeff S]

Yeah - true. And I guess if I move to Paris, I'll be speaking Arabic in no time.