The Golden Land Resort-
We found the hotel via the internet-who says that all things internet are good? It looked inviting with sweeping views of jungle and fields, golfing and swimming. But-what was the resort’s hidden secret?
When we drove into the resort, we were absolutely amazed. After the guard opened the gate for us, the grounds seemed to go on forever. A parking lot that stretched for as far as the eye could see. How could the resort possibly support all of the vehicles? To our right was a field house and a driving range that could accommodate about twenty golfers. A series of signs delineated ranges up to 300 meters. To the left, was a golf course. Further on was a soccer field.
In the far distance beyond the parking lot, probably 500 meters away was the hotel. Anyway, back to the parking lot- a parking lot that stretched almost 400 yards-without a single car in the entire lot. No golfers around either, not on the course and not on the driving range.
As we approached the hotel, we saw a three car shuttle parked in front-sort of like the ones you see at Disneyland. The driver must have gotten lost on the way out of Frontier land or something. Off to the side we could see a large convention structure and a swimming pool with one of the larger water slides that I have seen outside of a water park- a three story affair that made three full circuits around the base.
We pulled up into the open reception area driveway, which was located atop a small hillock. Polished stone blocks made up the flooring stretching from the drive to the rich wood paneled walls and polished counter of the reception. The view from the counter was striking; to the north, open manicured grass to the distant driving range field house; to the east, fields and copses of trees stretching endlessly into the distance; and finally, to the west, the sun glinting gold across the ponds and waterways. Hmm- Golden land-ya think?
But where were all the people?
There were four people there- a receptionist, a bell boy, a manager, and perhaps, an owner. Friendly people, almost too friendly. They promptly offered to drive us around the facilities so that we could make up our mind about staying there. We were told that there were only small bungalows available.
Hopping into the Owner’s Mercedes-de riguer for an owner of anything in thailand, we were whisked out to their private bungalow section, of which there were three-bungalows, not sections.
The bungalows were sorta kinda a caricature of a Swiss ski chalet; They had a kind of A-frame Construction with sort of a loft, a sitting room, living room and bedroom arrangement.
It would be cute- if it were set up for use by Europeans.
The loft was reached by a wooden ladder and contained two mattresses with a single bulb suspended from the ceiling and switched by a pull-chain. I wondered where the rope was located so we could pull up our suitcases.
The living room had two mattresses on the floor with a Small TV perched on a narrow end table. The “sitting†room had no seats but did contain two more mattresses on the floor. The Bedroom had a door, a real bed, end tables with lamps but no TV or any other amenity. The door, however, did have a lock. Must be the honeymoon suite or something. . .
We did not bother to search for an air conditioner.
As we were preparing to leave, the staff did inform us that they did have one room available in the thirty room wing of suites next to the hotel. We were shown a spacious room-too spacious for the queen bed. The room had a large balcony which looked out toward the swimming pool and conference center. It just needed a little dusting, which would be taken care of while we retrieved our belongings. A waitress arrived at that point with a freshly squeezed fruit drink concoction. This was an intriguing and flavorful beverage, which was just one of the many fine surprises to be found in the hotel restaurant, according to the hotel manager who we still had in tow. She gushed profusely over the wonderful gourmet dishes to be found in the restaurant and we could look forward to be treated like we were on our honeymoon.
Not only was there the gourmet restaurant but there was a fitness center next to the pool and the pool was ready for use. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Cheap as well- only about 43 dollars with a free buffet breakfast.
As was to later transpire, the fruit beverage was the high point of our stay at Golden land and it all went downhill from there.
Our suite was old, old, old. On the patio was sun and water warped wooden patio furniture. It must have been nice when it was new- about twenty years ago. The hastily swept patio was evidence that this suite was seldom used. The drapes had water damage and mildew stains at their base. At one time, there must have been a table because there were four matching chairs there.
We settled into our third floor room and headed off for the pool. Imagine our surprise to see a cloudy dirty pool with haphazard maintenance being performed on the electric lighting. The slide was dried and cracked with the water pumps dismantled. No one had used it in months if not years as the birds had been perched above it for long periods.
The fitness center was little more appealing. The treadmills were without power and the weight sets didn’t match-only one weight of each class. The only sign of life was a large dog sleeping under a table at the entrance.
The gourmet restaurant was our only hope. After a quick change in our room, during which we noticed that the air conditioner sounded a lot like a lawn mower and was doing little to cool the room, we descended to the restaurant.
The restaurant had another marvelous view to the west and a view to the south of lush pastures. No cattle but majestic grasslands and a series of small lakes. We also had a view of the parking lot. We realized that there was no one else in the restaurant because there was no one else staying at the hotel. Had there been plague or pestilence here in the past?
Then came dinner- we ordered panang moo (red curry pork), Pad Thai Goong (fried noodles with shrimp) and kow pad (fried rice). As it turned out, the high point of the meal was the sliced lime for the pad thai.Even then, the lime was sliced crooked. The curry pork was oily and tasteless, the pad thai was flat and the shrimp was not fresh. It was hard to ruin fried rice but the hotel was successful in doing so.
We politely declined the complimentary dessert, returning to our room. As we turned in, the hotel desk called to let us know that the buffet would be open at 630AM. GRRREEAATTT. . . .
We turned on the television expecting to see the regular fare of BBC cable shows. . . Nope- regular Thai TV, four channels-NO CABLE. At least the picture on the TV was clear.
After an uncomfortable night, wondering what had happened to this hotel, we awoke to dawn, happy to have the morning buffet and be on our way to the museum.
Without belaboring the point, the buffet was even worse than dinner. The orange marmalade was great on the toast that we made from the store-bought bread. The hotel had no part in preparing these items. Thank GOD!!!
We did come up with an explanation for all of this ruin. The buffet was served in a large conference room and in the corner of the conference room was the remains of a business meeting from long ago. There was a scale mock up left over from the eighty’s. It showed the hotel and two 18 hole golf courses. It showed over 250 bungalows situated around the lakes. The pastures were for the bungalows and the golf courses. There were pictures of children playing on the slide and companies holding meetings. There were families living there and a local store. All this about twenty miles outside of Korat.
All that the attendees at this long forgotten seminar had to do was have the vision to pony up the money for investment shares to make this dream into a reality.
Well- apparently the investors did not see the vision because the money never came. Three bungalows and a thirty room hotel is all that remains of that vision. A ghostly shadow of former service with a hotel staff out of the twilight zone, maintaining operations that no one will ever use again. A hotel that doesnt know when it is time to die lives on forever in the GoldenLand Zone
