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Author Topic: Are you a Democrat, a Republican or a Redneck?  (Read 3152 times)

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Offline Jeff S

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Are you a Democrat, a Republican or a Redneck?
« on: December 06, 2007, 12:06:00 PM »
Are you a Democrat, a Republican or a Redneck?

Here is a little test that will help you decide.

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day, and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.
                 
Republican's Answer:

BANG!

Redneck's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click.....

(Sounds of reloading) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?"

Son: "Can I shoot the next one!"

Wife: "You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist."

Offline piglett

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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican or a Redneck?
« Reply #1 on: November 24, 2008, 04:52:28 PM »
 NOW THAT'S WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT !!! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
guess I'm a true redneck
PSA 101:7 No one who practices deceit will dwell in my house; no one who
speaks falsely will stand in my presence.

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Offline Dave H

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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican or a Redneck?
« Reply #2 on: November 24, 2008, 06:40:39 PM »
I wasn't sure of my category...it took me a year to figure out that I belong in Grupong Ilaga or the Kalinga tribe! Kalinga were known as voracious headhunters and cannibals. BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! YUM.....I would have consumed part of the carcass and brain. Barbecued on a stick, Filipino style. I would use this same method on anyone who attacked!

Dave

« Last Edit: November 24, 2008, 07:15:52 PM by Dave H »
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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican or a Redneck?
« Reply #2 on: November 24, 2008, 06:40:39 PM »

Offline utopiacowboy

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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican or a Redneck?
« Reply #3 on: November 24, 2008, 07:37:30 PM »
My family's last name means "Sea Warrior" and we have always lived up to it.

Offline Bear

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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican or a Redneck?
« Reply #4 on: November 26, 2008, 09:13:48 AM »
Sea Warrior huh!  I like that. 

Mine means "from the family of the brave".  A whole "class" of people used it as a sign of war that lasted for hundreds of years - even today it draws up all sorts of armor clad, horse riding, sword carrying soldiers.  Surprisingly my name comes from the Scottish root "naugton" but checking back further that root comes from the Hebrew word "nektan" or "brave".  How/if Hebrews got to Scottland is another of my researches because of this "name", but I think if you check you'll see the scribe of one of the prophets of Israel is also the name of the 1st patron saint of Scottland - the same or related? since it occurred about the same time line as the original use of the name Naugton?  This prophet was said "overthrow, overthrow and overthow again" which I take to mean the heritage/people of Israel was to me moved 3x so it is possible Hebrews (ten lost tribes) ended up or moved through the British Isles.  I've read a few books but not seen any documented evidence.

BTW, interestingly the great King Arthur of fabled fame was actually called "Royce Arthur Pendragon".  "Roy" is Celtic for duke or earl; "ce" is norman meaning "with emphasis" together meaning "king over dukes and earls".  There are two meaning I learned for "Pendragon".  I like the "5th family" as meaning the fifth ruling family of England but romanticists say it also meant "head dragon" for a "dragon head" looking comet Uther saw when he and Merlin defeated the Saxons that looked like a dragons head. I think that's stupid.

Doing genealogy is awesome!

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austenjonesufg

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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican or a Redneck?
« Reply #5 on: December 02, 2008, 10:30:29 AM »
hi

i like obama.
 Spammer from Bangladesh.

Offline Dave H

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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican or a Redneck?
« Reply #6 on: December 02, 2008, 08:25:51 PM »
hi

i like obama.

Hi austenjonesufg,

I like to dance the Mamushka!

Fester

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Offline Bear

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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican or a Redneck?
« Reply #7 on: December 02, 2008, 08:56:34 PM »
Wow austenjonesufg!  You'e been honored by Fester!

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Offline catz

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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican or a Redneck?
« Reply #8 on: December 03, 2008, 12:58:14 PM »
Sorry guys, I dumped your new best friend...  8)

Offline piglett

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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican or a Redneck?
« Reply #9 on: March 09, 2009, 01:16:43 AM »
here it is boys
PSA 101:7 No one who practices deceit will dwell in my house; no one who
speaks falsely will stand in my presence.

http://s927.photobucket.com/albums/ad117/piglett2195/

 

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