Beijing Trip Report

[Frank64]

Hey guys,

I'm back from China and I had a great experience.  I went to Beijing partly for business and vacation.  I took the opportunity to meet some women.

Woman 1:
I had joined Match.com to meet women in my local area.  I had a 3 month subcription and was largely unsuccessful making connections with AW's.  Out of curiosity, I checked out women in Beijing and made contact with one woman.  We had emailed and talked for a few weeks before I went out.  Her English was quite good, so that wasn't a hurdle.  I may have just gotten lucky, but we hit it off quite well.  We spent a lot of time together.  I asked a lot of questions but to my surprise, she grilled me relentlessly about my past and background.  Over a meriod of days, she asked the same questions in different ways (She must have taken advice from Bear).  Although it was uncomfortable and annoying at times, I took the questioning as a positive sign because she was obviously serious.  There was no mention of asking for money or any other typical scam signs.  In fact, she often offered to pay for meals.   We are now continuing with emailing, talking on the phone and learning more about each other.  I also took some pictures of us together in case I need them for future VISA processes.

Woman 2 & 3:
I met these women through Chnlove.com.  I had sent out 5 emails, received 3 responses and I actually met met 2 women who accurately represented themselves in terms of looks and age.  However, both barely spoke English.  There was a lot of uncomfortable silence, so the meetings were rather short (less than 1 hour).  They weren't a match for me, but I was probably biased because of the Woman #1. 

Chnlove experience:
Overall, I found Chnlove to be good and would recommend it.  Yes, you pay $6/email, but there is no membership fee.  The $6/email fee is good because it forces you to carefully select the women who you want to contact.  On the first email, I sent my personal email address and requested the woman's email.  Therefore, I really payed for $6/contact, not $6/email.  I personally found it to be a good deal.  However, I would not recommend making your profile public, otherwise you can get all sorts of emails from women sending you love letters.  I don't believe that all of the unsolicited emails are scams, I just think that many of these women are ill advised by their agencies to send very expressive first emails.  Hide your profile and only send emails to carefully selected women.  Many speak very little English, so you'll have to be patient.  Of course there are scam artists everywhere, but Chnlove is not a scam.  Like I said, I met 2 real women.  If it wasn't for Woman #1, I would continue to use Chnlove.com.

About Chinese Women:
This may be generaliation, but don't expect much in terms of verbal expressions of affection.  They can be expressive in written form, but my experience is that they can be shy in person.  This can come across as mixed signals, so be patient with them and don't expect them to verbally validate you or the relationship.  If she's making time to write and meet with you repeatedly, she likes you even though she won't say it. 

[Bear]

Yea I remember her!

Glad to hear you enjoyed your trip.  What kinda sites you see, what kinda things you observe?

The Bear Family

[jm21-2]

However, I would not recommend making your profile public, otherwise you can get all sorts of emails from women sending you love letters.  I don't believe that all of the unsolicited emails are scams, I just think that many of these women are ill advised by their agencies to send very expressive first emails.  Hide your profile and only send emails to carefully selected women. 

I made a profile on that site a while back (you had to make a profile to see details about the girls or something like that?), and didn't think to hide my profile (I was, and still am, not ready to get serious about this, because I'm not settled in a career yet). I got several letters very quickly, but I didn't get any sappy love letters at all. It was actually kind of a pleasant surprise, because they talked about their background a lot. Like one girl talked about how it was nice to see a law student, because she had studied law at a prestigious university and was really interested in the subject. Maybe I just don't seem like a good target to gold diggers.

[Monk]

I am really glad to hear a good (or at least not bad) report about chnlove.com.  I signed up there a couple weeks back to see the girls' details.  Since I have been getting a disturbing large number of emails.  The letters are not sappy, but a few too many mention love a bit too often.  At first I though the whole site was a scam.  Now I'm not so sure.  Personally, I like all the emails.  One, they make me feel good.  Two, I see it as a great spam filter.  Most of the girls that email me, I simply avoid.

It is amusing to see another law student on here.  I graduate in about one week, and I think I have a job lined up (depends on whether I pass the bar).  So in that respect I feel established enough to at least start talking to people.  In retrospect I wish I had started looking a few months ago.  That way I would probably have some girls to go visit and a better excuse to take that post-bar trip to Beijing for the Olympics.

[jm21-2]

I am really glad to hear a good (or at least not bad) report about chnlove.com.  I signed up there a couple weeks back to see the girls' details.  Since I have been getting a disturbing large number of emails.  The letters are not sappy, but a few too many mention love a bit too often.  At first I though the whole site was a scam.  Now I'm not so sure.  Personally, I like all the emails.  One, they make me feel good.  Two, I see it as a great spam filter.  Most of the girls that email me, I simply avoid.

It is amusing to see another law student on here.  I graduate in about one week, and I think I have a job lined up (depends on whether I pass the bar).  So in that respect I feel established enough to at least start talking to people.  In retrospect I wish I had started looking a few months ago.  That way I would probably have some girls to go visit and a better excuse to take that post-bar trip to Beijing for the Olympics.

I've got a few weeks left. My experiences so far have left me wanting to get the hell out of law though. I don't really enjoy the work and don't fit in with lawyers well at all. I wasn't sure whether law was really right for me, but was swayed into pursuing law school by a generous scholarship...figured I didn't have much to lose. Now, having a better idea of what I want in life, I'm looking to join the Army as an officer after I take the bar...which means another year of training...if I can get in with my vision not being that great...then a good possibility of being deployed. Not the time for me to be looking for a wife.

Anyways, good luck on your pursuits. Perhaps female law students drive guys to extremes?

[Frank64]

To Bear's Questions:

Sites:
Of course I visited Tiananmen Square.  I also climbed the Great Wall at Badaling and did the Forbidden City in one day which was rather exhausting.  I'm not for tourist sites, so I spent most of my time observing daily life and walking through the traditional courtyard house neighborhoods (the Hutongs).

Observations:

Positives:
Beijing is a rather safe, organzied and extremely inexpensive city to visit.  I didn't buy much, but non-brand name stuff was dirt cheap.  Local streets had many street vendors with kids and families all over the place.  Although the living standards in the Hutongs were humble on a material level, they were rich in terms of a neighborhood community feel.  I never saw one cop in the local streets, yet I never felt unsafe including after hours.  Cab drivers were honest and most people (see exceptions below) were very nice when I needed help.  Although much different than the typical southern chinese style (Cantonese, Hunan and Szechuan) food offered in the states, the food was fantastic, particularly the noodles.  Outside of the business district (East Side), Westerners are still quite a novelty even at Tiananmen Square.  If you're an American, you're a rock star, but they can have a slightly inflated view of life in the states (i.e. we all have houses and are wealthy).  I forgot to mention that the two women that I did not select were very disappointed when I did not choose them.  Both were divorced and apparently mis-treated by their former Asian husbands.  In their early thirties, they openly communicated in broken English that they had few opportunities to remarry. 

Negatives: 
Very few people speak English. Even the hotel wrokers are not well versed, so it really helps to have a friend.  I found it to be fun at times, but I'm sure that some people can feel uncomfortable about this.  The air is unhealthy with an obvious constant haze in the air.  The water is not potable, so you've got to keep a supply of bottled water for drinking and brushing teeth (cheap: $0.30/ bottle).  On the other hand, I never got sick even with some risky food choices.  Near the touristy spots, the street vendors and rickshaw drivers are particularly annoying with trying to get a sale.  They just don't quite, so you've got to be blunt with them. 

Scams:
I had read this before I went out, so I was prepared.  It happened to be 5 times with young women and 2 times with young men:

Young Women Scam: One or two women approach you saying hello and asking where you're from.  They tell you that they are English students and ask if you wouldn't mind walking with them so that they can practice their English.  After talking and making you feel comfortable, they ask if you'd like to go for Tea, Coffee or a drink.  I always said no because I was prepared for this, but from what I've read, if you say yes they will take you to a pre-planned Tea house or bar where they order drinks.  When it's over, she politely leaves and you are stuck with a huge bill.  Like I said, I was ready because I read about it, but a few of them were extremely subtle with their approach.

Young Man Scam:  Same basic idea, but it's one young man who approaches you with the same line except that he's apparently an Art student.  Both guys that approached me appeared like innocent good kids and I have to admit that I enjoyed their conversation while walking.  They actually gave me some good tips for getting around.  After he walks for a while with you and makes you feel comfortable, he says that his professor is packing some artwork to be sent to the US for exhibition, but that he is selling some at deep discounts since he can't ship it all.  The idea is to get you to go and buy some likely fake art.  I never went, but just like some of the girls, one of the boys was really subtle. 

Overall: Like all cities, there are negatives.  However, if you're prepared, you can have a fantastic and inexpensive time in Beijing.  I'm not a tourist guy, but there is plenty to see and do.

[BostonGeorge]

Hey Frank, Thanks for the trip update. I’m going to Beijing in October and found your posts helpful. Let us know how things work out with #1

[Old_dude07]

Thank you for this report.  I enjoy reading guy's experiences from the various countries. 

Frank64's post does point out to me how important it is for me that the two parties be able to communicate.  I have also been on introduction dates where we both did not speak each other's language except for a few words and phrases on her part.  Uncomfortable silences.

[Bear]

Good observations.  I hear some cities there are extreme in their modern and futuristic feel. 

The Bear Family

[Marshall K]

Nice report, Frank.  I think it's good that you can communicate well with your lady.  It has made all the difference for Yali and me.  She told me that some of the other ladies she knows from the marriage agency who have married and waiting for visas are having a tough time connecting with their new husbands because they are restricted by their lack of English.  They have to rely on emails interpreted by the agency.
Instead of paying these agencies the big fees that they charge, the women would serve themselves better by taking an intensive English course for a couple of years.  Then they could find the man themselves.
Most of the women I met from this agency were divorced and in their 30's and 40's.  Most had been treated very badly by their exes.  They are interested in American men because we have a reputation for treating women with respect and consideration.
I think that there are some good women on chnlove.  I know that our particular agency liked it because there were a lot more sincere men using it.  There are a lot of guys out there with nothing better to do but  pretend date online with cute Asian girls, and it wastes everyone's time.  I bet by charging for each email they eliminate a lot of hobby mail.