Do your Asian or Latin wives drive cars? Drive you crazy?

[robert angel]

My wife is overall a pretty good driver. For eight years now, not even a parking ticket and she drives everyday. Still, sometimes this feeling sweeps over her: "OMG--I am driving a CAR". Back home, very few people have cars and out in the province, you almost never see a woman driver. She won't post a picture of her car, as she doesn't want to appear immodest with the folks back home.
 
First day she had to drive to work alone, (after we rehearsed) she drove 12 miles in city traffic, staying in the right hand lane the entire way, as she didn't want to miss the turn.
 
She amazingly never loses her temper while driving, even when other drivers do insanely dangerous things. I'll get cut off, nearly swapping paint with some a hole, be mouthing foul words, using various arm and finger expressions, checking the glove box for my 45 and she'll say in a calm voice: "Honey--PLEASE don't look at them". Very un-American, I think!
 
What I find kind of funny and yet a bit troubling sometimes is since she parallel parked to pass her driving test eight years ago, she hasn't driven anywhere where she might have to parallel park herself again. That means anytime she has to go downtown, yours truly has to drive to 'park'.
 
However, last week we had a little break through. She had to testify for her employer in some lawyer's office downtown. I had to work, so the day before, we drove downtown, remembering exactly how to get there and back and practiced finding and going into TWO parking garages, just in case one was full. All this with the little woman in the GPS unit telling her where to go.
 
She has driven 400+ miles in a day on interstates, she doesn't go too slow or too fast, maintains her lane better than me, never texts and drives (I thought that was a Filipino sport)  and she actually believes me that if you go 5 to  7 miles over the speed limit, 'going with the flow'--the cops will pretty much leave you alone. For no good earthly reason, she's a little paranoid about police and usually sniffs out the cop cars from their hiding places before I do.
 
If it's a long trip or if I'm just feeling crappy, she'll drive some, so it's not just a guy-gal kinda thing.
 
Do your wives drive OK? If so--did it take a while?

[Ray]

 
Take her driver's license and cut it up in little pieces... 
 
 
Ray
 
 

[InnocentVixen]

I am a terrible driver and I avoid it like the plague. I do know how to drive and went to driving school, if there is an emergency I will drive. It is easy enough to move without a car in my city that I don't have to bother, most people own a car though.



Woody loves driving here, we now joke around gringo's being bad drivers because when someone is not driving too well, you only need to see their plates and sure enough it will say "california", mind you that some locals have american license plates because they were born in the US and is cheaper for them to have certain car.


My mother in law however, almost had a heart attack when we entered the city and drove them to their hotel... it took only 10mins, I wasn't sure to ask him to hurry up or slow down so his mother can calm down! his father was a little tense but not freaking out haha. I suppose most drivers here must be "bad" from an american point of view, not taking signals and rules that seriously.

[Researcher]

I taught my wife how to drive and she has done great. She is one of the few people I feel safe with driving. Plus if she does anything behind the wheel that is dangerous I just correct her and say it is another "driving lesson" and if I screw up while I am driving I just tell her I was showing her what NOT to do!....hehehe!

[robert angel]

I taught my wife how to drive and she has done great. She is one of the few people I feel safe with driving. !

Same here. I mentioned she drove over 400 miles on the interstate. Maybe it was farther--all I know was I got us from NYC to Virginia and she was all about wanting to drive. So I said: "Go for it"--I fell asleep in Virginia and when I woke up we weren't too far from Florida.
 
At least she was headed in the right direction--I remember one time driving for hours at night, trying to get to a place in northern Michigan, taking the interstate. Boy, was I pissed when I saw that "Welcome to Ohio" sign....
 
Teaching her how to drive really was a bonding experience all over again. I had to get loud a few times and while she didn't like that, it worked. It's hard to be nice, sweet and calm when someone thinks driving towards the center of the road is good, but there's oncoming traffic coming at you.
 
I paid for driving lessons back in her home country. They were about as useful in the USA as is taking a fishing rod to go deer hunting.
 
I just don't know why in her country they drive like they're insane, but inside the car, they're calm, cool and collected. In the USA, sometimes they drive crazy and they are just as often crazy and emotional inside the car too.
 
Psychologists have found people in the USA are most likely to have homicidal thoughts while driving and they feel offended by another driver. They act like their car is a two ton bullet that they can kill the other drivers with, but they don't have any personal knowledge or emotional attachment to the other driver, so it's easy to think that way.

[Jhengsman]

She was a Manila driver the only real lesson was to stay off of the horn and all of those signs and lights are enforced here even if you are the only car on the road.

[V_Man]

I have all this to look forward to. 

[mambocowboy]

I have all this to look forward to. 

about to go for another "driving lesson" with my wife. Keeping my fingers crossed. I'm not kidding...

[mambocowboy]

My wife is overall a pretty good driver. For eight years now, not even a parking ticket and she drives everyday. Still, sometimes this feeling sweeps over her: "OMG--I am driving a CAR". Back home, very few people have cars and out in the province, you almost never see a woman driver. She won't post a picture of her car, as she doesn't want to appear immodest with the folks back home.
 
First day she had to drive to work alone, (after we rehearsed) she drove 12 miles in city traffic, staying in the right hand lane the entire way, as she didn't want to miss the turn.
 
She amazingly never loses her temper while driving, even when other drivers do insanely dangerous things. I'll get cut off, nearly swapping paint with some a hole, be mouthing foul words, using various arm and finger expressions, checking the glove box for my 45 and she'll say in a calm voice: "Honey--PLEASE don't look at them". Very un-American, I think!
 
What I find kind of funny and yet a bit troubling sometimes is since she parallel parked to pass her driving test eight years ago, she hasn't driven anywhere where she might have to parallel park herself again. That means anytime she has to go downtown, yours truly has to drive to 'park'.
 
However, last week we had a little break through. She had to testify for her employer in some lawyer's office downtown. I had to work, so the day before, we drove downtown, remembering exactly how to get there and back and practiced finding and going into TWO parking garages, just in case one was full. All this with the little woman in the GPS unit telling her where to go.
 
She has driven 400+ miles in a day on interstates, she doesn't go too slow or too fast, maintains her lane better than me, never texts and drives (I thought that was a Filipino sport)  and she actually believes me that if you go 5 to  7 miles over the speed limit, 'going with the flow'--the cops will pretty much leave you alone. For no good earthly reason, she's a little paranoid about police and usually sniffs out the cop cars from their hiding places before I do.
 
If it's a long trip or if I'm just feeling crappy, she'll drive some, so it's not just a guy-gal kinda thing.
 
Do your wives drive OK? If so--did it take a while?

My wife peeled some paint off the side of our car yesterday. She was doing fine, then for some reason when we pulled up to my mom's apt. building she lost control of the steering wheel and scraped the brick wall on the side...Right now she's out with the instructor who also has a set of brakes...

[JWR]

My wife became an excellent driver but not without almost killing us both.
After many professional driving lessons with an instructor with his own car and brake, we went out to practice in my 4 Runner the day before the DMV driving test.  Going around a corner, she lost control, didn't streighten out the wheel, and floored the gas pedal.  We flew through 3 front yards, crashed through a 3' high brick wall, mowed down a 6' high iron fence and smashed into a large palm tree.   The back tires were still spinning and burning out after we hit the palm tree...... I broke a couple ribs.  She was uninjured.
The instructor had been riding the brake I think, and this was the 1st time she was without a "little help"....
Better to involve (2) different instructors, let her take lessons right up to the drive test, and let her take the test in the instructor's car.  Then buy her a car that is simple, low powered, and similiar to what she learned in.
I would never try to teach my wife to drive, and especially without a brake on the right side.  Throw some money at lessons and say a few prayers.
 
One more thing.  The instructors told me to NEVER raise my voice in the car while she is driving no matter what she does, because this will increase the possiblility of her panicking, and losing control of the car.  Yelling never helps.
 
 
 

My wife peeled some paint off the side of our car yesterday. She was doing fine, then for some reason when we pulled up to my mom's apt. building she lost control of the steering wheel and scraped the brick wall on the side...Right now she's out with the instructor who also has a set of brakes...

[mambocowboy]

My wife became an excellent driver but not without almost killing us both.
After many professional driving lessons with an instructor with his own car and brake, we went out to practice in my 4 Runner the day before the DMV driving test.  Going around a corner, she lost control, didn't streighten out the wheel, and floored the gas pedal.  We flew through 3 front yards, crashed through a 3' high brick wall, mowed down a 6' high iron fence and smashed into a large palm tree.   The back tires were still spinning and burning out after we hit the palm tree...... I broke a couple ribs.  She was uninjured.
The instructor had been riding the brake I think, and this was the 1st time she was without a "little help"....
Better to involve (2) different instructors, let her take lessons right up to the drive test, and let her take the test in the instructor's car.  Then buy her a car that is simple, low powered, and similiar to what she learned in.
I would never try to teach my wife to drive, and especially without a brake on the right side.  Throw some money at lessons and say a few prayers.
 
One more thing.  The instructors told me to NEVER raise my voice in the car while she is driving no matter what she does, because this will increase the possiblility of her panicking, and losing control of the car.  Yelling never helps.

JWR, I feel your pain brother. I could never have imagined just how hard it is for these Colombianas to learn to drive. She's on her third two hour lesson with the driving school. I'm thinking she may need about at least twenty lessons. Learning to steer, brake, accelerate, drive in one lane, change lanes, learning to park, it's all overwhelming to her...I was yelling "stop!stop!" before my wife scraped the wall but I should have just grabbed the wheel earlier. It was a turn she'd negotiated well a few times before and I just got complacent in assuming she could do it....Nevertheless, she's very happy about learning to drive and is bragging to her friends and family about it...Yours is a cautionary tale for sure. My wife when she panics will brake in the middle of traffic, which is better than panic acceleration but it's pretty nerve-wracking...

[V_Man]

I have a full size wagon. It's bigger than her dinning room. I can't really see myself being in a big hurry to teach her to drive that beast. She isn't even used to the traffic being on the other side of the road yet. Anyway she can't get a license without decent English. So I don't need to stress this at least until next year.

I think we basically grow up with driving and forget how much more difficult that skill is for someone without that background.

[fathertime]

I relate to jwr and mambocowboy completely...without going into details why, I can say that I will NEVER..EVER..be giving my wife another driving lesson...in the past i did and  i also paid for private lessons...i can safely say that private lessons are the way to go for some


Mambo..20 lessons, that might be a minimum! hahah 


Fathertime! 

[JWR]

Our long driveway was downhill, and my wife used to park behind me right up against my bumper.  Then when she put the car in reverse to back out, the car would bump into the back of my car before the gears engaged and started to move in reverse.  This was smashing up her bumper with my trailer hitch.  I asked her a few times to leave a little space between the cars, but that never happened.  Watching her new car get smashed up was irritating me.
 
Looking back my attitude was short sighted and stupid.  2 better choices would have been to 1. just ignore it, or 2. think a little outside the box, and get one of those orange cones to put behind my car to show her where to stop.
 
If the relationship gets crashed, now you have a real problem.  Cars can get fixed easier then relationships.
 
With too many crashes in the relationship, you're just preparing a very pretty, good driving, english speaking, educated women for the next guy to come along after the divorce.

[mambocowboy]

thought I'd brag a little since I'm very proud my wife earned her driver's license yesterday. We practiced every day plus she had a good bilingual instructor. Hopefully she continues to develop her safe driving skills, but I couldn't have imagined she'd progress so fast after a rough start....

[robert angel]

thought I'd brag a little since I'm very proud my wife earned her driver's license yesterday. We practiced every day plus she had a good bilingual instructor. Hopefully she continues to develop her safe driving skills, but I couldn't have imagined she'd progress so fast after a rough start....

Congratulations! My wife passed her written, as well as the actual driving test the first time out. Lessons back in her country were a waste of time and money. I thought they'd save time and money--I was wrong. So I taught her how to drive and there were some tense, challenging and yes, LOUD moments during those 'lessons'. I guess if I were to do it all over again, I'd pay for a professional driving instructor/class instead. Like almost everything she accomplishes, she was sort of amazed at her accomplishment. In fact, she says that eight years later, she sometimes still has moments when driving where she marvels in disbelief at the fact that she's driving down the road by herself, never mind in her own car. Back home, women drivers are not common.
 
The only downside here is like many others, she dreads parallel parking. While she drives to work almost every day and to malls, grocery stores, etc., the last time she parallel parked was when she passed her driving test!

[mambocowboy]

Congratulations! My wife passed her written, as well as the actual driving test the first time out. Lessons back in her country were a waste of time and money. I thought they'd save time and money--I was wrong. So I taught her how to drive and there were some tense, challenging and yes, LOUD moments during those 'lessons'. I guess if I were to do it all over again, I'd pay for a professional driving instructor/class instead. Like almost everything she accomplishes, she was sort of amazed at her accomplishment. In fact, she says that eight years later, she sometimes still has moments when driving where she marvels in disbelief at the fact that she's driving down the road by herself, never mind in her own car. Back home, women drivers are not common.
 
The only downside here is like many others, she dreads parallel parking. While she drives to work almost every day and to malls, grocery stores, etc., the last time she parallel parked was when she passed her driving test!

Thanks Robert. She's very proud. It's a big deal for someone from her background as very few of her women friends back home drive.

[piglett]

now how do i put this in a nice way..........?
my wife can't drive to save her life, there i think that was about as nice as i can be about it 
the main problem is when i say "sweetie slow down" or "sweetie get ready to stop"
she says "what peddle do i use"
of the bright side she can steer the car without hitting anything

i guess i'll keep working with her on it









piglett

[Ray]

now how do i put this in a nice way..........?
my wife can't drive to save her life, there i think that was about as nice as i can be about it 
the main problem is when i say "sweetie slow down" or "sweetie get ready to stop"
she says "what peddle do i use"
of the bright side she can steer the car without hitting anything

i guess i'll keep working with her on it

piglett

  LOL!
　
Yes, keep working on it, but always pretend you are a hospital, with lots of patients patience...
　
Ray 

[robert angel]

Obviously this is not anywhere near the starting point of teaching the wife how to drive, but later on, it's hard not to raise your voice when your wife is driving down a two lane high way, while an 18 wheeler is coming at you and meanwhile she's staying towards the middle of the road, where at other times, she feels safer. But at the given time, when a head on collision is likely, trying to stay 'calm, cool and collected' just doesn't work.
 
First you raise your voice a bit--if that doesn't work, you raise it more and once disaster is facing, you grab the wheel and if appropriate, tell her to just take her feet off the accelerator and brake all together and seek safer quarter.
 
Once again, I wish I'd just paid a professional instructor with a special dual control learners car, instead of wasting money on lessons back in her country and then later going crazy trying to teach her myself here. We've had some tenser, more stressful moments unrelated to driving since those first days, but I really was grinding my teeth sometimes times when I was trying to teach her myself.
 
If all's well that end's well, she's never had an accident or moving violation (one parking meter ticket), so we've been fortunate.