Do you guys ever worry about "Americanization"?

[Veracity]

Guys,

When you met your foreign wives or girlfriends, did you ever worry about them becoming too much like American women once they came here?

I hope to follow in your footsteps sometime next year....and I know it's something I'm thinking about.

[jm21-2]

Taiwan is somewhat americanized and my Fiance has worked in Australia twice, so not really worried about westernization/americanization. It would have happened already. It's nice to have a girlfriend who's already experienced what the culture in western countries is like and doesn't want much to do with it.

[Researcher]

      My wife has been here over 2 years now and hasn't changed.I think alot of it has to do with the fact that she is in her 30's.I also like that she is independent and doesn't need a best friend to help her make decisions.Becoming "Americanized"(or completely selfish) is always a possibility.

  Researcher

[whitey]

I think it's important to consider whether the woman you are interested in is likely to be "americanized" ... and also the flip side of the coin which is how well she can adapt to a new culture (learn the language, become independent enough to carry out ordinary daily tasks, work if necessary).

As Researcher says, I think a lot will have to do with her age ... if she is over 28 or so, she's much less likely to change her fundamental behavior.  You also need to evaluate whether or not she values material things, how "liberal" monded she is, etc. I would guess younger women from larger cities would be more likely to fall into these categories.

My wife is 35.  I don't think she's going to change much, but I won't know for sure for a few more years, and it will still be several months before she can move to Canada.  I'm more concerned about how quickly she can adjust and how happy she will be.  Changing everything in your life for another person is not a small or easy thing, and requires a lot of love, effort, and commitment.  But I'm confident I've picked a good person ... the rest is up to us together ... 

[Jeff S]

My wife has been here close to 25 years and she hasn't even slightly altered her core beliefs or behavior. She certainly hasn't become a liberal feminazi. If anything she's become more convinced her traditional beliefs and lifestyle are important to uphold. She was over 30 when we married also. She was also well traveled, including having lived for a while in the US before I met her.

[Ray]

Simple answer: No

[pchip]

Guys,

When you met your foreign wives or girlfriends, did you ever worry about them becoming too much like American women once they came here?

I hope to follow in your footsteps sometime next year....and I know it's something I'm thinking about.

Veracity,

Thanks for the question, I was about to ask it myself on the Latin side of things... (I am more into Latinas than Asians)

To all who replied, I thank you for your insight....

[Veracity]

Thanks guys.

[piglett]

i would have to answer that question with a NO.
i picked the type of woman that i felt would make me a good wife & mother for children when we have them. so my wife is mostly a homebody not some party girl. my wife wants to go to work maybe stop at the story to pick up a few groceries & then wants to come straight home. she would not be caught dead in some club or bar on ladies night. hell she has never even tasted alcohol.
the only downside to her is that she is not a good kisses so i have offered to help her practice once she arrives her in the summer


piglett

[Bob_S]

she is not a good kisses so i have offered to help her practice once she arrives her in the summer

How charitable of you.    

[z_k_g]

Guys,

When you met your foreign wives or girlfriends, did you ever worry about them becoming too much like American women once they came here?

I hope to follow in your footsteps sometime next year....and I know it's something I'm thinking about.

In my case no and yes.

My pinay is a much younger woman, she will absorb Americanism just in the process of getting older.  This is one of the major issues of dating a much younger woman, but, this does not necessarily translate into a change in core values.

On the NO side:
As part of the dating process, your job is to establish what type of woman you are dating.  I always look for core values such as- good family relations, a hard worker, honest, dedicated and willing to submit to your leadership in the relationship.  If you continue to live by these values, her core values will continue to mature along with a tight interpersonal bond.  She will be a much better pinay than when you married her, with very little changed on the inside!

On the YES side:
She may dress like an American pinay, her English will lose its accent and, like most American women, she will want to dress trendy.  I don't see a major issue here unless these changes become some type of obsession.

The key element to negative change in your relationship, will be her choice of friends.  They will have a massive amounts of influence if you, or your woman allow it.  Typically these negative naysayer friends see a "problem" in every aspect of her life with you and whisper in her ear that she can do better. 

In my opinion, this phenomenon is the most destructive thing that can happen, and it can occur no matter how old your foreign (or domestic) bride.

If your woman is weak minded, you are doomed.

My two cents!

Zulu

[Dave H]

A big "NO" here as well! I have been married to my Filipina wife for over 9 years. She was 27 when we married, she turned 28 4 days later.

Dave

[jm21-2]

In my case no and yes.

My pinay is a much younger woman, she will absorb Americanism just in the process of getting older.  This is one of the major issues of dating a much younger woman, but, this does not necessarily translate into a change in core values.

On the NO side:
As part of the dating process, your job is to establish what type of woman you are dating.  I always look for core values such as- good family relations, a hard worker, honest, dedicated and willing to submit to your leadership in the relationship.  If you continue to live by these values, her core values will continue to mature along with a tight interpersonal bond.  She will be a much better pinay than when you married her, with very little changed on the inside!

On the YES side:
She may dress like an American pinay, her English will lose its accent and, like most American women, she will want to dress trendy.  I don't see a major issue here unless these changes become some type of obsession.

The key element to negative change in your relationship, will be her choice of friends.  They will have a massive amounts of influence if you, or your woman allow it.  Typically these negative naysayer friends see a "problem" in every aspect of her life with you and whisper in her ear that she can do better. 

In my opinion, this phenomenon is the most destructive thing that can happen, and it can occur no matter how old your foreign (or domestic) bride.

If your woman is weak minded, you are doomed.

My two cents!

Zulu

The problem with a young girl is that they don't really know who they are yet. They may act like they do, they may seem like they do, but they almost never actually do. Teaching students aged 5-20, there were some in each age group who acted like they knew exactly what they wanted. I almost certainly did at that age as well. I was absolutely sure I was going to be a computer programmer working on video games at my age and every adult I knew was sure I would be as well. Now I'm an attorney. Life does that to you. There's just too much that happens in your late teens/early twenties. I think I also wanted a strong feminist woman as a girlfriend, heh.

So your way of compensating for her being young is essentially to train her to be a good wife and keep her away from outside influences? As others have noted, you're going to be playing father and husband.

My fiance is about a year older than me and has pretty much been settled into her lifestyle for years living on her own. I don't really care who she hangs out with and trust her to make her own choices regarding friends. I tried to encourage her to dress a bit trendier a couple times but have given up on trying to change that aspect of her (and it's damn expensive anyways). All it did was get her annoyed at me. In fact, changing her in any way is just not going to happen. But that's fine with me. 

[fathertime]

My woman got here at age 23, she hasn't become Americanized at all.  If anything, I'd like for her to Americanize just a little, so I'm trying to facilitate those behaviors more now then when she first arrived.

Fathertime!

[z_k_g]

Jm,

A young bride is your best choice, in my opinion.

Some men on P-L have no desire for a woman 25 or older, I am addressing them.

As I stated in my earlier post, your woman will not become negatively Americanized if you choose well on the front end during the courting process.  

If she changes the way she dresses or talks, I don't see an issue with that at all.  Her core values are ingrained and if you provide a stable and emotional healthy environment in you home, as you would for any woman of any age, those values grow.

I am following in the footsteps of many men in my family, some who are dead now. My seeking a foreign bride was not on purpose by any means, my ex of many years was American, it just happened.

Most of my relatives are much older and married younger foreign brides.  Two were married to pinays, ages of 19 and 23, one was married to a Thai, she was 20 and another a woman from Samoa, she was 18 or 19 not sure exactly.

Also, my best friend's mother is pinay, his mother was 20 when she came to the states.  They are all still married.  In one case my cousin died last year, 89, wife 64, still married to his pinay wife.

My viewpoint comes directly from them, my life experiences and observations.  My opinion is based on these couples, my family, first hand stories that I have lived, not national statistics or posts in forums.

I stand by my post 100%.  Its a real world viewpoint and very sound, based on couples that are successful, not perfect by any means, but still married.

Chose a bride based on her core values, love her unconditionally, provide a stable and emotionally healthy home.  Whether she is 20, 25 or 65, your relationship will be successful.

I, and many others will choose, and have chosen, a woman under 25.

We have chosen well.

Zulu

[Dave H]

Personally, I just couldn't handle a "new school" Filipina! Fortunately, for guys like me, there are still some younger ones around with traditional values. But, their numbers are dwindling IMHO.

Dave

[z_k_g]

Personally, I just couldn't handle a "new school" Filipina! Fortunately, for guys like me, there are still some younger ones around with traditional values. But, their numbers are dwindling IMHO.

Dave

Dave,

I think there are many more around with traditional values than you think.

Zulu